Subject: [PW!] Starting Off Scarce In Oldale Town Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2003 23:59:56 GMT From: "Rob" <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon This evening in the land of Hoenn, a middle-aged blue-eyed man sporting messy graying brown hair and a dirty golden tuxedo walks into the Oldale Town Pokemon Center. The man heads over to the unattended front desk and rings a bell that's placed on the counter. When a familiar-looking pink-haired nurse walks up to the desk, he's shocked and asks out loud, "Another Nurse Joy? All the way up here in Hoenn?!" Not wanting to be rude, he keeps his next comment to himself and merely thinks, "Wow, her parents must've gotten it on like Azumarill..." Nurse Joy happily replies, "That's right!" "They did get it on like Azumarill?" "Excuse me?" "Oh, sorry, I got distracted for a moment. Why did you just say 'that's right'?" "Because my name IS Nurse Joy and I DO live here in Hoenn." Nurse Joy answers before asking, "What's your name and where are you from?" "I'm Marvin the Magician from Pewter City in Kanto - well, that's where I was raised, at least. I travel a whole lot, though, and my current home is in Johto's Goldenrod City. I'd tell you more about myself, but there's no time for small talk right now..." Marvin reaches into one of his tuxedo's pockets and produces a shrunken Pokeball. After enlarging it, he says, "I've been on Route 101 all day training a Torchic I got from Professor Birch in Littleroot Town and she recently fainted." He pushes the button on the Pokeball, a beam of white light shoots out, and an unconscious orange Torchic appears on the desk. Nurse Joy looks down at the injured young Pokemon, then back up at the middle-aged man, "Sir, aren't you a little old to be raising a Torchic? That Pokemon's for beginning Trainers." Marvin explains, "I know, but Professor Birch made an exception for me. I let two of my Pokemon stay with him and he gave me a Pokedex, a Pokenav, and this Torchic." "Oh. Give me a moment to examine your Pokemon." Nurse Joy thoroughly examines Marvin's unconscious Torchic, checking under her tiny wings and turning her over to see if she's sustained any back injuries. After seeing various Poison Sting needles protruding from the Torchic's back, Nurse Joy shakes her head and comments, "My goodness, Marvin, even ten year olds who have never raised a Pokemon know better than to let their Pokemon take this much damage before bringing it to a Pokemon Center. She's so badly injured that the Heal-o-matic machine won't suffice - she's going to have to stay for an overnight treatment." "Overnight?!" Marvin frowns and slouches over, "I was hoping to press on towards Petalburg City to arrive by tomorrow morning. I wanted to take advantage of the fact that night time is surprisingly bright around these parts - I've noticed that Hoenn's not like Johto, where darkness falls on schedule every day at 6 PM." "That's a very unhealthy attitude! Just because Hoenn is located on a northern area of the planet where the sun doesn't set at night doesn't mean that you shouldn't sleep at that time." Nurse Joy gives Marvin a key and says, "I recommend you eat dinner in the Pokemon Center's Cafeteria, go to sleep in the room I just assigned you, then shower and change your clothes when you wake up before heading out to Petalburg in the morning." "I can eat, go to bed, and shower, since those services are free in Pokemon Centers, but I can't change my clothes." Marvin frowns, "This is the only outfit I have with me and I don't have the money to buy a new one or even clean this one. I would normally perform magic shows to make money, but I don't have my props with me." Nurse Joy says, "You don't need props to make money..." "I beg to differ. Do you think anyone's going to pay me for doing this?" Marvin puts his hand on Nurse Joy's face for a moment, then pulls it away with his thumb wiggling between his index finger and middle finger, "I got your nose!" "Hmm..." Nurse Joy glances at the wiggling thumb, "Actually, that looks more like my big toe." Marvin sighs, "See? I can't even do THAT right! How am I supposed to make money?" "Well, like I was saying before you interrupted me, you don't need props to make money - you can battle Pokemon Trainers!" Nurse Joy explains, "If you win a match against a Pokemon Trainer, they give you half of their money. If you lose, you have to give them half of yours, but you have nothing to lose since half of zero is zero." Marvin furrows his brow, "Give me half their money? Why would they do that?" "It's the Law of the Land!" Nurse Joy replies, "You know, just like the Law that states Pokemon Trainers have to challenge you if you walk into their line of sight. Here, I think you'll benefit from this..." The nurse reaches under her desk and eventually produces a small but thick handbook, which she hands to Marvin, "This is the Hoenn League Guidebook - it contains just about everything you need to know to be a successful Pokemon Trainer in Hoenn." Marvin flips through the guidebook, reading out loud some of the headings for different sections, "Pokemon Training Laws, Pokemon Abilities, Breeding Compatibility, Type Advantages, Items, Battle Moves, Contest Moves, Technical Machines, Hidden Machines..." He whistles in awe at how much information is packed into the small book. "Wow, this is dense. I prefer the Magician's Code - it's so much easier to remember! Thanks for the book, though - I'll try skimming it before I go to bed, but right now I'm going to follow the advice you gave me, as well as the pleas of my rumbling stomach, and go have dinner. I'll see you in the morning and hopefully my Torchic will be all better by then..." Marvin waves to Nurse Joy, who scoops up his fainted Torchic and heads to the Center's back room as Marvin heads to the Center's Cafeteria. In the Cafeteria, a green-haired teenage girl sitting at a booth asks the angry Smoochum sitting across from her, "So, what're you gonna eat?" The Smoochum sees Marvin walking into the Cafeteria and whispers, "Duck!" The teenager makes a face and remarks, "They don't serve Psyduck in Pokemon Centers, Diva..." Diva the Smoochum explains, "No, Roxie, I mean duck and cover - Marvin's here. Hide under the table!" The small Psychic Pokemon jumps off her seat and hides under the booth's table. Roxie peers under the table, narrows her eyes at Diva, and asks, "Why are you hiding from that douchebag? What's HE gonna do to us?" "He could report us to the police!" Diva quietly yet angrily squeaks as she waves her arms around, "I'm an honest Pokemon performer - I haven't broken any laws in my entire life, but I know you have. And if you go to jail, because you caught me in an Ultra Ball, I'd have to go too. I'm too beautiful to be put in jail!" "He can report us all he wants." Roxie shrugs, "I haven't broken any laws since I got to Hoenn." Diva's large eyes widen and she hisses, "WHAT?! You tried to steal a motorcycle from Littleroot's local Police Force the moment we arrived at Hoenn, for crying out loud!" Roxie nonchalantly contests, "The operative word being 'tried'. Those backwater bumpkins didn't even have a police car, let alone a bike. I haven't broken a single law since I got to Hoenn and the Johtonian Police Force can't touch me for crimes I commited over there as long as I stay here." She leans back in her seat, not afraid that Marvin will see her, "Once we find that little brat who stole my shiny Unown, beat the crap out of her, and take her Pokemon as well as the wallets she stole, we can go back home to Goldenrod City as heroes - we could even tell them Marvin was the thief and that way he'll be banned from the city forever and you'll never have to see him again." "No more Marvin?" Diva grins, "I like the sound of that!" "Great, now go back to your seat. I think the guy sitting across from us thinks I'm having a conversation with my crotch." Diva climbs back up to her seat and Roxie changes the subject, telling her, "You know, talking with you is so surreal - I'm only used to Pokemon who can't talk, like my Koffing." Diva corrects Roxie, "They can talk - you just don't understand them. Koffing are usually quite stupid anyway, though, so I doubt you're missing anything important. I don't think any Koffing will ever be born with the mental capacity to speak English and that's probably for the best." "What's your deal?" Roxie asks the talking Smoochum sitting across from her, wanting to learn more about her traveling partner, "How did YOU learn to speak English?" Diva answers, "My mother taught me, and her mother taught her, and my great grandmother taught my grandmother. I'm not sure who taught my great grandmother." "Interesting. I've never thought about Pokemon geneology before. To me it's always seemed like Pokemon just appear out of nowhere in tall grasses," comments Roxie, "Tell me more about your family. What was your childhood like?" Diva looks uncomfortable when she shakes her head and says, "The details of my youth are quite inconsequential." Roxie threatens, "Tell me or I'll stick you in your Ultra Ball." "Very well. Where do I begin?" Diva pauses for a moment, gathers her thoughts, then reveals, "My father was a relentlessly self-deprecating Mr. Mime from Kanto with low-grade Tourette's Syndrome and a penchant for Bug Pokemon. My mother was a level 15 Jynx prostitute named Lola with webbed feet. My father would hump imaginary friends, he would get drunk on Berry Juice, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the Master Ball. Sometimes he would accuse Apricorns of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only Scientists possess and Pokémaniacs lament. My childhood was typical - summers in Mount Moon, Lick lessons. In the winter we'd make Nevermeltice helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap Bag and beaten with Farfetch'd Sticks... pretty standard really. When I reached level 12, I received my first Pokemon slave. At level 14, a Voltifist Electabuzz named Vilma ritualistically applied Quagsire slime on my body. There really is nothing like having one's lips covered in Quagsire slime - it produces an amazing gloss, I suggest you try it." Roxie appears disgusted when she remarks, "I'm sorry I asked..." She then glances off to the side and says, "Oh look, here comes Marvin with his dinner... and there goes Marvin with his dinner. I don't know what you were worried about, Diva - that distracted old man didn't even see us." She turns to face Diva but the Smoochum is missing. "Diva?" Roxie bends down and looks under the table, where she sees the Smoochum in question waving at her. Roxie gets annoyed with the frightened Psychic Pokemon and leaves the booth to get her dinner from the Cafeteria's all-you-can-eat buffet. Meanwhile, Marvin places his tray of Cafeteria food on the bed in the room of the Oldale Pokemon Center he was assigned to. He once again flips through the pages of the Hoenn League Guidebook Nurse Joy gave him as he eats his dinner, this time reading the Pokemon Training Laws section to make sure he doesn't break any during his time in Hoenn. "Never question where Pokemon Eggs come from, even if you work at a Breeding Center. If you do know, don't tell anyone. Wow, this place is strict!" -Marvin