From: Bandraptor (bandraptor@yahoo.com) Subject: [PW!] Taking a Lickitunging Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2003-11-30 23:03:39 PST Cerberus the Dodrio is racing across the plains of Johto at top speed, furious expressions on two of its three faces. It breezes through the guard station that's north of Goldenrod, cuts across the field that's east of the National Park, and leaps over the head of a giant Sudowoodo, who begins shaking his fists in anger when the Dodrio fails to pony up for the toll. Cerberus' left and middle heads are conversing angrily between themselves, enraged that they're being forced to carry not one, but two passengers all the way to Olivine City. The right head, which is by far the most amenable of the three, is trying unsuccessfully to calm its siblings down, explaining that while Nori's Blastoise is a bit bigger than most members of his species, Nori is extremely light. "So, how long has it been since you last spoke to Akuni?" Rubix is in the process of asking. "It's been a while," Nori admits, "I haven't talked to him since I released him. I only know that he's in Olivine, because I heard about one of his Battle Tower matches on the radio." She gestures to the Pokégear unit that's wrapped around her wrist, "His match, and the ensuing lawsuit...Akuni hasn't changed a bit since the day I caught him--he's still a half-crazed pugilist." Nori casts a glance backwards, towards her Blastoise, who is sitting behind her on Cerberus' back, "What about you? Have the two of you kept in touch?" Rubix shakes his head, "No, but why would we? We never had anything in common. At least *you* were friends with him." The Water-type frowns, "You've been out of contact for over three years, what makes you think he's gonna come back to you?" Nori reasons, "Well, you're coming to the Silver Conference with me, aren't you? And Magby is coming, too. Akuni was always loyal to me, so I think that he'll help me out, even though we haven't seen each other for a while. I'm sure of it!" Rubix maintains his pessimism, "The only sure things in life are taxes and Master Balls." "Drio!" Cerberus stops short in front of the Olivine City Pokémon Center, throwing the pair from its back. Rubix manages to duck inside his shell prior to impact, but Nori hits the ground at full force. She picks herself up painfully, and grabs her Dodrio by the beak, "Cerberus, what the hell?!? You were supposed to take us all the way over to the west side of the city. Why did you stop here?" Cerberus squawks viciously to let her know that when Flying between towns, it is only appropriate to land in front of a Pokémon Center--anything else would be a violation of the city's air space. Nori doesn't know if this is true, but she figures there's no point in arguing, since she's already dismounted. She recalls the Dodrio into its Pokéball, retrieves her Blastoise, and starts walking in the direction of the Battle Tower. After passing a white picket fence, a beach that is lined with large boulders, and an unmanned guard station, Nori and Rubix arrive at a seven story tall building that is ornately structured, with Pokéball bas reliefs sculpted into the walls, and enormous, tinted windows that reflect the ocean from afar. Directly inside the building is a large registration hall, which is swarming with trainers and harried Chanseys, the latter of which are scrambling to heal their charges, and return them to the combatants who are waiting in the battle rooms upstairs. Several computer terminals are situated against the walls, each loaded with the latest version of GS X 10.3 (Suicune Edition), a battle simulator that allows trainers to challenge their friends using the Pokémon that are registered in their PokéGear. Unfortunately, this program is only compatible with a certain model of PokéGear that was marketed overseas, making it inaccessible to most trainers. Nori walks right up to the front desk, where a woman who looks remarkably like the person who registered her for the Silver Conference chirps, "BATTLE TOWER welcomes you! I could show you to a BATTLE ROOM--but I won't, because you have too many Pokémon in your party! Furthermore, they all seem to be at vastly different levels. Perhaps I should offer an Explanation of the BATTLE TOWER rules?" Nori is busy trying to figure out if a family of Terret's-afflicted identical sisters was born into the indentured servitude of the Pokémon League, and if they're being forced to man its tournament registration desks now that they're grown; so Rubix answers the question for her. "We're looking for somebody who's registered to battle here. He's a Lickitung named Akuni." The worker has no trouble recognizing this description, since there aren't very many Lickitungs who battle competitively. "Oh. You're here to see *him*." She states, suddenly sounding disgruntled. She points down the hallway, "He's in one of the suites that we rent out to our regular combatants. It's #108, the fourth door on the left. While you're in there, tell him that any damage that's done to that room will be coming directly out of his charge account--I don't care if he is Yadon's boy, the POKéMON LEAGUE will not tolerate destruction of BATTLE TOWER property." She harumphs, and busies herself preparing a package of stat boosters for a trainer who just won a level 20 challenge. Nori and Rubix look at each other, and shrug. They walk down the hall towards room 108, which has a picture of a Lickitung stenciled on the door. Nori knocks three times, and stands back, waiting for the door to open. Three minutes later, she is still waiting. She's almost ready to give up, when the door finally creaks open, and a Slowking, who's covered from crown to toe in gold jewelry peeks outside. He stares blankly at Nori, and she stares back at him. After another two minutes, the Slowking finally focusses his eyes, and opens his mouth. "Yes?" "Um..." Nori doesn't know what to make of the very slow Pokémon. "We're here to see Akuni. We're old friends of his." The Slowking nods his head several times, taking approximately thirty seconds to complete each nod. "I see." He ponderously shuffles out of the doorway. Nori and Rubix take this as their cue to follow, so they start walking into the room. The door slams in their faces! They both fall backwards onto the floor, looking slightly flattened. Nori jumps to her feet, and pounds on the door with her fist. "Get back out here, you idiot Psychic! I'm going to rip the Cloyster off your head, and shove it down your throat!" Rubix says, "Good going Nori. That'll get him to open the door, no doubt about it." But a minute later, the door actually does open. The Slowking looks slightly annoyed, "What I meant by my concurrence is I accept your assertion that you and The Champ may have had some history together. Be that as it may, if I were to let every former acquaintance through this door, my boy would be left with no time to train." "I'm not some ‘former acquaintance'," Nori presses, "I'm his old Trainer." The Slowking takes his time in replying. "Little girl, do you know who I am? I am the famous Yadon King, esteemed boxing promoter, and all-around excellent guy. Do you have any inkling as to the number of my clients who have been trained by humans such as yourself? Would you like to know how concerned I am about the welfare of such Trainers? Perhaps you would be interested in coming inside, so we can discuss this topic at length?" Nori shrugs, "Okay." When the Slowking steps aside, she follows him into the doorway. Slam! The door hits her in the face. Rubix, who's standing a safe distance away from the doorway, snickers, "If you didn't see that coming, you deserved to get hit." Nori dizzily backs away from the door, shakes the Staryus out of her vision, and resumes knocking, "I'm not done with you yet, you miserable Slowking! Obey my orders, or I'll feed you to my Houndour!" The Slowking opens the door almost immediately, not because of Nori's threat, but because he wants to finish what he was saying earlier, "As you probably deduced from my well-timed truncation, I have little interest in the predicaments of my clients' former Trainers." "I don't care what you think." Nori says simply, "I'm going to the Silver Conference, and I want to ask *Akuni* if *he* wants to come." The Slowking considers this for upwards of forty seconds before smiling, "A tournament bout? Well, why didn't you say so? Had I known you were here to offer my boy a job, I would have invited you in right away!" He steps out of the doorway, gesturing for Nori and Rubix to follow, but they remain in the hallway, glaring at him distrustfully. The Slowking opens the door a bit wider, "Come inside!" The two of them dash through the entrance very quickly, worried that the door might slam on them again. Once they are inside, the Slowking waits another minute before closing the door carefully behind them. He leads them through the suite, and since it is a very slow tour, they have plenty of time to examine the trophies, beer bottles, fur coats, and other various odds and ends that decorate the shelves. Finally, they arrive at the living quarters, which are furnished with a large waterbed, a bar, and a full-sized jacuzzi. A pudgy pink Lickitung is sitting in the hot tub, along with three female Medichams. All four of them are drinking Mew-jitos, and smoking Cubone Cigars. The Slowking, who doesn't seem to be particularly concerned that he might be interrupting something, clears his throat, and says, "Champ. You have company." The Lickitung is about to give his sour agreement that yes, he does indeed have company, when he chances to look in the Slowking's direction. He breaks into a grin, and gestures widely, "Licki! Tunglick! Lickitung tung licki tung lick tung?" "What?" Nori blinks, not understanding. She starts to walk towards the hot tub, thinking that she'd be able to understand her Lickitung better if she was nearer to him. Rubix grabs her by the shoulders, and pulls her back. To the Lickitung, he responds, "No, Akuni, because I'm not into Psychic-types, and Nori's underage." He turns to the Trainer, "Ask this freaking pervert your question, so we can get the hell out of here." Nori frowns, not exactly sure what just happened, "Oh. Um, hey, Akuni, how are you?" Akuni leers at her, "Licki...lick licki licki tung?" Nori looks to Rubix questioningly, "A fight with a Scyther, and what?" "Nothing. He was commenting on your hair. Finish asking your question." "Okay...anyway, Akuni; Rubix, Cerberus, Magby and I are on our way to Mt. Silver. We're going to compete in a big Pokémon competition called the Silver Conference..." "Lick?" "Yeah, that's right, it's like the Johto version of the Indigo tournament. So, I was thinking, this could be kind of like a reunion tour, and since you were a member of my team way back when, I thought it'd be great if you could come with me." "Tung?" "'And'? And...what do you say? Will you come with us?" Akuni waves his hand dismissively, "Tung licki lickitung." Nori asks her Blastoise, "Rubix, translate." "He said you wouldn't be able to afford him." "I wasn't planning to pay him," Nori admits, "I was hoping he'd do it for old time's sake." "Licki, licki lickitung licki tung lick lick!" "Rubix?" Rubix rolls his eyes, and repeats verbatim, "His going rate is 50,000 Pokébucks per round, and for you it's double, because you're such a shrill little bitch." Nori shouts, "You ungrateful Lickitung, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even know Mega Punch!" Akuni grins mockingly, "Licki! Tung licki licki tung!" "What?" Nori demands, what did he say about me?" Rubix doesn't look like he wants to be in the middle of this conversation, "You don't have any breasts, your hips are too wide, and he can't believe he ever had the hots for you." Akuni cocks an eye at the Blastoise, then takes a long drag from his cigar, "Tunglick, lickitung licki." Rubix glares at the Lickitung, "I wouldn't talk if I were you." Akuni leans over, gestures to Nori, and whispers to the Medichams, "Licki, lickitung tunglick lick, lickitung tung lickitung." In a flash, Rubix's hydro cannons are aimed at the Lickitung's head, "Say that to my face, you fat piece of crap!" Akuni claps his hands twice, "Licki!" "Machamp!" Two particularly burly Machamp bodyguards race into the room, wrestle both Rubix and Nori to the ground, then use Dynamic Punch to send them flying out of a well placed window. Akuni walks over to the window, and waves a cheerful goodbye to his visitors, "Licki~! Tunglick! Liki tungki tung lick!" Meanwhile, rocketing through the air... "I can't believe the nerve of that Lickitung!" Nori vents, "I guess you really can tell a lot about a guy from the company he keeps--and anybody who fraternizes with both Psychics and Fighting-types is lower than low!" "Speaking of fraternizing," Rubix chimes, "I feel like I just put a big sign on my shell: ‘Hey, I'm a Rocket Pokémon again! Please, beat the living crap out of me! I won't mind!'" "Haha," Nori brightens, "it's just like old times again!" "Nori, don't make me hurt you..." "Don't trouble yourself." Nori points towards the rapidly approaching Silver Mountains, "The ground will do that well enough." * * * Later * * * Jose Solano wrote: > "Alright, everything checks out!" Joy happily told Trent. "Your Pokemon have > been registered... a Sandslash, a Steelix, an Aerodactyl, a Graveler, an > Exeggutor, and an Aron." > > "Wait, Aron?!" > > "Yes, you wrote 'Aaron' for your sixth entry, you did mean Aron, right?" > > "I... uh..." Trent looked down at Ashura, who idly whistled. "I'll deal with > you later... Yes, that's perfectly fine." > > "And it says here you have never attended a league tournament." > > "Er, no," Trent replied in a rush. > > "Then I have to explain the rules to you. Two trainers enter the arena and > each is allowed..." > > "Okay, I get it." > > "...Round two, the Pokémon each trainer may use..." > > "Yes, yes, fine." > > "...The semifinals..." > > "SHUT UP ALREADY, I KNOW HOW THE TOURNAMENT WORKS!" > > "Well you certainly are rude." Nurse Joy turned around with a 'hmph!' and > left to go check on the Tyranitar. > > "People here talk too much." Nori approaches the Nurse's Station, just as Joy is returning from the back room. The nurse smiles politely, "Hello, are you here to register for the Silver Conference?" "Actually, I'm already registered." Nori hands her a falsified Trainer ID as she explains, "My name is Tsunade, and I registered last month. I just wanted confirm my Pokémon selections for the tournament." "Certainly," Joy nods, scanning the card into her computer, "It appears that you have five Pokémon registered under your name." Nori gestures to Rubix, who's standing behind her, "I have five of them in Pokéballs, and then I have my Blastoise, who doesn't have a Pokéball. Is that okay?" Nurse Joy shrugs, since she's seen stranger things. She finishes typing 'Tsunade's' information into the database, and returns the ID card. "Here you are, Miss! You're all set!" Once they're a good distance away from the registration desk, Rubix speaks under his breath, "Nori. You mean to tell me that you had a sixth Pokémon all this time? Why did we go all the way to Olivine?" "I didn't have it while we were in Olivine, I just caught it." Nori closes her eyes gleefully, "Wait 'til you see what it is..." "I thought you were opposed to catching Pokémon. Isn't that why you're here? To stage a protest?" "Ends and means." Nori says. "Anyway, this was a Pokémon worth capturing." Rubix starts to say something, but he changes his mind, "Trying to understand you is too much trouble." ((OOC: 12 minutes before the deadline. Don't I feel accomplished.)) --Beth