Subject: [PW!] The Cutest Little Pickpocket Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2003 22:53:52 GMT From: Rob <robfrompw@yahoo.com> Organization: AT&T Worldnet Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon "And now... ladies and gentlemen... children of all ages... it's time for the grand finale!" Marvin the magician proclaims to the large crowd gathered today on Goldenrod City's Main Street to watch his magic show. This isn't just a large crowd - it's the largest crowd the magician has ever had. This isn't just a magic show - in Marvin's opinion, it's the best magic show he's ever held. The one that will put him in the history books. The magic show to end all magic shows. It's been two hours since the show began - in that time, he's had twenty-one different volunteers, he's performed thirty-seven tricks, and he's dazzled the crowd with five grand stage illusions. The crowd watches in anticipation... Just then, the moment he sees the eager eyes of the members of his audience, the 46-year-old man wearing a golden tuxedo, a silver bowtie, and a crystalline top hat sweatdrops. He realizes he has no way of topping all that he's performed thus far. Time appears to stop as the unblinking astounded audience members stare at him with gaping mouths. That apparent freezing of time inspires him and he calls out, "I shall now command the elements of nature as if I were a Pokemon... which I'm not!" Some people in the audience start to "oooh", but others simply say "uh?" as the magician raises his arms high into the air... Pillars of fire shoot from his left hand into the sky, higher than any concealable flamethrower could as a flurry of ice and snow soars from his right hand. Applause and cheering comes from most members of the crowd, but one member is not happy. In fact, she's downright outraged. "You stole my bit! You BASTARD!" An enraged Smoochum hops up and down on her perch atop a Magcargo. She's the only one who's heckled Marvin during this, his greatest show ever, and now she leaps off her slow Fire Pokemon and runs over to where Marvin's still shooting fire and ice into the sky. She points up at him and addresses the crowd gathered before him, "This man is a THIEF! He stole my bit! I've been performing a Fire and Ice show here in Goldenrod for years and I won't just stand by here while... whoa... whoaaa..." The Smoochum's rant is cut short when a gust of wind blowing out of Marvin's mouth carries her up into the air! "What's the meaning of this?! Let me down! Let me down!" Wind stops blowing out of Marvin's mouth as he says, "You said you weren't going to stand for this, Diva, so I thought..." "AHHHHH!" Diva the Smoochum screams as she plummets back down towards the pavement, "Put me back up! Put me back up!" Before she can hit the cement, a gust of wind once again picks her up then gently sets her down as Marvin finishes shooting fire and ice out of his sleeves. Just about everyone in the audience applauds Marvin's finale, wondering how he pulled it off... But at least one audience members knows how - a green-haired teenage biker girl who is inching ever closer to Marvin's sleeves. Marvin doesn't notice her since he's too busy bowing in different directions, blowing kisses to his cheering audience with his hands, and even tipping his hat occasionally, something he hardly ever does since he's embarrassed about his thinning hair. The audience assumes the biker is part of the show, even after she hops in front of Marvin, reaches into both of his sleeves at once, and rummages around, trying to pluck something out of them. She produces handkerchiefs tied together, decks of cards, and even polka-dotted briefs, but not what she's searching for. She hisses, "Where are you hiding the Unown, old man?" "Unown? What Unown?" Marvin pulls himself away from the teenager and dusts off his tuxedo, "What are you talking about?" "The Unown?" Diva the Smoochum, who's still standing next to Marvin, overhears what he just told the biker. After a moment of thought, she says, "Of course! They're small and know Hidden Power!" She puts her hands next to her tiny mouth and shouts in a voice way too loud for her tiny body, "HEY, EVERYBODY, I KNOW HOW MARVIN THE MALEFICENT DID HIS LAST TRICK! IT WAS UNOWN! HE HID DIFFERENT UNOWN ON HIS PERSON AND TAUGHT THEM TO USE THEIR HIDDEN POWERS - FIRE, ICE, AND FLYING!" The crowd is outraged, but not because of what Diva's shouting. It's because when some members of the audience reached for their wallets to grab money to donate to Marvin, they realized their wallets are now missing. One man calls out, "Hey, the Smoochum's right - that magician IS a thief!" Another man, one who didn't lose any of his belongings, shouts, "Unown, huh? They're probably shiny - I heard shiny Unown can freeze time! They've done it in Pokemon Centers before, I saw it in the news..." A woman then cries out, "If he has three shiny Unown, he could've frozen us all and taken our wallets then! Someone tackle him - restrain him and his assistants! I'm gonna go call Officer Jenny!" Marvin, Diva, and the biker girl are soon tied up and gagged by five burly men from the audience who used props Marvin used during his show to restrain them. About a minute later, two Officer Jennys show up. One says, "Citizens, I've been informed of the horrendous crime committed here today. We will take this man and his accomplices in for questioning immediately - please stay here and remain calm. The moment we receive any information regarding where your stolen possessions are, we shall return here and tell you." The other one simply nods and says "Fersure!", then the two cops work together to heft the tied up suspects onto their shoulders and carry them away, northwards towards the Magnet Train Station. It's only after the pair of Jenny are out of sight that another set of Officer Jenny, these conjoined twins sharing a body below their necks, arrive at the scene to detain the now missing suspects. The Jenny who's head is on the left of their body, who calls herself Jen, frowns, "There must be some mistake, Marvin's a sweetheart. He wouldn't steal anything from..." The Jenny who's head is on the right interrupts her, "Silence, Jen. Don't let your feelings for that idiot get in the way of your job. We're here to find out who's responsible for pickpocketing certain people gathered at Marvin's show and Marvin is our prime suspect, whether you like it or not. Now, where is Marvin?" Members of the crowd are too stunned to answer right away - either because their wallets have just been stolen or because they are watching conjoined twins arguing with each other. A few manage to point northwards. Meanwhile, on a Magnet Train headed to Saffron City, one of two Officer Jennys unties and ungags Marvin, but leaves both the Smoochum and the biker tied up and sitting on the floor of the Train. The moment the rolled up handkerchief is out of Marvin's mouth, he says, "Xerox, I can't believe you lied to get me out of town. You NEVER lie! Thank you so much!" "I did not lie, master. I DID take you in for questioning. I just brought you into the Magnet Train to question you instead of a police station. It was not safe for us to remain in Goldenrod City any longer." The Officer Jenny who untied Marvin melts down into a purple Ditto before continuing, "Did you see anything unusual going on in the audience during the show?" Marvin smirks, "Other than people actually enjoying it?" "MARVIN!" Xerox shouts her master's name in frustration. Marvin sweatdrops at Xerox's outburst, "Sorry, sorry... I use humor to cope with stress." "That was humor?" The Officer Jenny sitting in the Magnet Train with her legs crossed asks, "From where I was sittin', peeps WERE totally enjoyin' the show - well, 'cept for that one girl with the cute furry little Pokemon. She was like, too busy starin' at her Pokemon the whole time. He was the cutest little thing, too - runnin' around, climbin' in people's pockets..." Xerox's tiny eyes grow three sizes and she yells, "Climbing in people's pockets?! Why didn't you inform us that this was occurring as it was, Famifax?!" "Like, take the noise level down a few notches - kay, sis?" Famifax rolls her eyes and tosses her blue hair back, "Well, you were all busy helpin' Marvy and anyway the little girl and her little Pokemon both looked totally harmless." "What did this young girl look like?" "Oh, I didn't get a good look at the girl. I spent most of the time lookin' at her furry little Pokemon, tryin' not to giggle at how cute he looked. You don't understand, though, this was like the cutest little Pokemon I've ever seen..." "Very well. What Pokemon was it?" "I dunno." "You don't- YOU DON'T KNOW?!" Xerox fumes, "You spent who knows how much time staring at this Pokemon and you DON'T KNOW?!" "Calm down, Xerox!" Marvin commands as he takes a seat next to Famifax, "Don't yell at your sister." "Yeah, you gotta take a chill pill, sis. Fersure." Famifax hugs Marvin from the side and sticks her tongue out at Xerox, not appreciating having been yelled at. "I... apologize... if I may seem rude... but our master's reputation is at stake here." Xerox struggles to remain polite as Famifax continues making all sorts of silly faces at her, which look rather strange coming from an Officer Jenny, "If we do not locate and return... the wallets stolen during our show... we shall never work or live in Goldenrod City ever again... I personally do not appreciate... being a fugitive from the... STOP IT! This is serious, Famifax!" After Famifax frowns and stops making faces, Xerox asks, "Now, do you remember what the Pokemon looked like? Could you please describe him to us?" "Sure thing!" Famifax puts her hands a foot apart, "He was about this long, with brown and tan stripes..." "Was he a Furret?" "Like, hello, sis, I sooo know what a Furret looks like." Famifax rolls her eyes, "Do you think I'm stupid? The Pokemon I saw had a cute big brown eyes surrounded by what looked like a black mask, but it was part of his fur. And he had a big fluffy tail! He ran around in a funny way too - like... uh, like he was zig-zaggin' - I guess that's the best way to put it." "Hmmm..." Marvin scratches the side of his head before saying, "I have no idea what kind of Pokemon that was." "You don't? Huh." Famifax raises an eyebrow, "And here I thought you got a really close look at him when he climbed into your sleeves right at the end of the show, Marvy! I guess you were too busy bowin' at the crowd." "I didn't even notice..." Marvin blinks when he realizes what Famifax has just said, "He did WHAT?!" Marvin then reaches into his tuxedo's pockets to search for Pokeballs. He only finds one Safari Ball and one Pokeball. He takes off his coat and a worried look appears on his face, "All three of my shiny Unown are missing! Fire Wand, Tickler, Blower... That Pokemon must've figured out the secret to my trick and stolen their Pokeballs right after they recalled themselves..." "That is a possibility... but perhaps SHE took them!" Xerox yanks a handkerchief out of the biker girl's mouth, "Speak up - who are you and what were you doing rummaging through my master's sleeves after the show?" The biker narrows her eyes at Xerox, "Why should I tell you, Ditto?" "I may not be an Officer Jenny, but I could Teleport you into the Goldenrod City Police Station in the blink of an eye." Xerox narrows her eyes right back at her, "They are searching for you too, especially if you have a criminal record." "My name's Roxie." The green-haired young woman reveals, "I live in Goldenrod... just like you, it seems. I didn't steal anything from your master - I just wanted to find out how he did his last trick." "She's lying!" Marvin points an accusing index finger at the tied-up biker, "When she didn't find what she was looking for in my sleeves, she asked me where I was hiding the Unown. I'm sure she was trying to grab my shiny Unown. Hey... wait a minute, I remember her! She's the biker girl we met on Red Rock Isle during the Whirl Cup." Xerox stares intently at Roxie for a few seconds then looks up at Marvin before saying, "I do not remember her, master, and I am quite sure I have a better memory than you do, so I believe that you are mistaken." Marvin shakes his head, "No, I'm sure of it, Xerox! She has an F-shaped shiny Unown. The reason you don't remember is that you were too busy... uhm... how can I put this? You were too busy swimming in Mimic at the time." Famifax squeals, "I KNEW IT! Sis and li'l bro, sittin' in a tree..." "Sister, this is neither the time nor the place." Xerox concentrates to sense psychic energy emitting from Roxie, then she reaches with one pseudopod into Roxie's pocket, pulls out a Pokeball, and releases an F-shaped Unown. Before the Unown has time to react, Xerox recalls it into its current home. "I apologize for doubting your memory, master." "Hey, I may have turned fourty-six years old last month, but I'm not senile yet!" Marvin reaches down and pats Xerox on the head, "Seeing that Unown just now made me miss Fire Wand, Tickler, and Blower even more. Do you think there's any chance we'll ever find that thieving Pokemon who took them from me?" Famifax hugs Marvin once again and declares, "If I ever see the cutest little Pokemon in the world again, I'll let you know!" Xerox rolls her eyes, "Your strategy, albeit endearing, is unlikely to get us anywhere." The moment Xerox points this out, the Magnet Train comes to a complete stop. Suddenly, a small furry brown Pokemon crawls over Xerox, picking up the Pokeball she's holding in his claws, and he scurries off as quickly as he came. As he darts off, running from side to side down the aisle of the Train, he shouts, "Zigzagoon!" Famifax's eyes become watery as she points at the fleeing Pokemon and squeals, "Ooh, ooh! There he went!" Roxie shouts, "Come back here with my Unown, jerk!" She watches Marvin, Xerox, and Famifax chase after the Pokemon that stole her Pokeball as she struggles fruitlessly to break free from the bonds around her wrists that keep her hands behind her back and the ones around her ankles that keep her from standing up. Roxie then turns her attention to the Smoochum sitting next to her who's tied up like she is but also gagged. "I know..." She swings her legs up and kicks Diva in the face, knocking the gag out of her mouth. "Now, Smoochum, use one of your attacks to break us free from these ropes." "And why the hell should I break you out?!" Diva growls at Roxie, "You just kicked me in the face, you bitch!" "I hate talking Pokemon." Roxie narrows her eyes, "Do you even HAVE a move that can free us, Smoochum?" After spending a few seconds trying to figure out how the four moves she knows - Pound, Lick, Sweet Kiss, and Powder Snow - could break them free from their bonds, Diva lowers her head in shame. Roxie sighs, "In that case, scoot over to my side and pull a Pokeball out of my pocket with your mouth." "You want me to fetch you a Pokeball? Do I look like a Golden Growlithe to you?" The Smoochum glares at the biker, "I'm Diva, the star of one of the greatest shows in Goldenrod City - the only two things that I allow in my mouth are Goldeen eggs and Mount Moon Spring Water." An overly cheerful little girl's voice interrupts the conversation, "I'd listen to her if I were you - tee-hee! I've got your Magcargo now, so I doubt you're gonna break outta those ropes any time soon without her help - trust me." Diva and Roxie simultaneously turn their heads to see an eleven-year-old girl with large green eyes, a big smile, and long black hair. The girl's wearing a black dress and black shoes and she's holding a brown basket. She's rocking back and forth a few feet away from where they're sitting on the floor. Diva is the first to address her, "I don't believe you, whoever you are. Prove it. Prove that you have my Magcargo. Show him to me this instant!" "Do you think I was born yesterday - huh?" The girl wags her index finger at Diva, "If I release the Magcargo I caught while Ziggy was taking the magician's Pokemon, you'll tell him to burn your ropes - you will. Anyway, sorry I can't stay to chat, but I've gotta be going - I do! The next boat to Hoenn's leaving in just a few minutes and I've gotta meet up with Ziggy at the dock - buh-bye!" The girl giggles as she skips past Roxie and Diva, on her way off the Magnet Train. Before she climbs off the Train, she turns around and asks, "Hey, by the way, lady, what Hidden Power does your shiny Unown have - Electric?" Roxie sneers at the little girl, "None of your damn business, you little thief." "Oh well, I'll find out myself - I will!" The girl grins widely at Roxie and hops down into the Saffron City Magnet Train Station. Meanwhile, Marvin's in a field just north of the Vermilion City limits, almost falling over and breathing heavily. Famifax, still looking like Officer Jenny, is holding him up. She comforts him, saying, "Don't worry, Marvy, Xerox Transformed into a Jolteon - I don't care how cute that Pokemon is, he can't outrun a Jolteon! She'll find out where he lives then come back to pick us up so we can go there. We'll find his Trainer, take back what they stole, and live happily ever after. The end!" "I hope so..." Marvin manages to say between breaths, "We left behind...just about everything... in Goldenrod. The apartment, the clothing, the props... The sooner we're... able to clear our name... and go back home... the better." Famifax frowns when she realizes all her cute outfits are in Marvin's apartment, "Can't I just like, Transform into someone I see and go pick our stuff up?" "You'd better not... Officer Jen and Officer Jenny... know where I live." Marvin comments, starting to catch his breath, "If you go back there, they might... hit you with a tranquilizer dart... and trap you in your Pokeball. I left it at the apartment, after all. If they think I stole the wallets, they probably think you and Xerox helped me do it. We have to stay away from Goldenrod until we've caught the fiend responsible for taking all those wallets and stealing my three shiny Unown!" Famifax pouts, "Do you think we'll be back home by like... tomorrow? I just remembered I've got a hot date tomorrow night." "Maybe, but maybe not." Marvin frowns, "The criminal mastermind responsible for this could be anywhere." Just then, a brown-haired Lass holding a basket frolics past Marvin and Famifax. She waves at the two as she merrily skips towards Vermilion City and recites, "Hi there. Bug Pokemon creep me out and I like Jigglypuff - carry on!" "Anywhere at all..." Marvin sighs, "Let's just go to the Pokemon Center and wait for Xer... oh, there she is!" Marvin watches as the Jolteon he just spotted in the distance runs up to his feet. "Hi, Xerox - back already? Did you lose him?" "No..." The yellow Jolteon replies, "He got on a ship at the Vermilion Port that's leaving to a land called Hoenn. I tried to board the ship after him, but a guard did not let me since he did not recognize me and I did not have a ticket. You have some money with you, correct? If we hurry, we might be able to purchase a ticket and board the ship. It is unfortunate that neither myself nor my sister have committed to memory the forms of any Flying Pokemon large enough to carry you, master. You will have to run, as best you can. Give me money and I will purchase our ticket in advance." Marvin reaches into his tuxedo's pocket to pull out his wallet. After rummaging for a moment in that pocket then searching his outfit's other pockets, he doesn't find it. Too depressed to be outraged, he laments, "My wallet - it's gone too..." Xerox melts into a purple Ditto and slouches over, feeling defeated, "I give up. At least we know where the wallets and the shiny Unown are headed. Let us go to the nearest Pokemon Center and rest up for the night - we shall attempt to obtain a ticket for the next boat to Hoenn in the morning." A few minutes later, as Marvin and the Ditto Sisters sadly enter the Vermilion City's Pokemon Center, a foghorn blows twice in the distance, signaling that a ship has set sail from the City's Port. On the ship, a little girl pulls a brown wig off her head and remarks, "It seems Ditto aren't the only ones who are good at disguising themselves - teehee!" Upon revealing her black hair, a Zigzagoon runs up to the girl, climbs up her body, and deposits a Pokeball he picked up for her in her hand. She grabs her small Zigzagoon, coddles him like a baby, and rubs his belly while saying, "Who's a good Zigzagoon - who? You're a good Zigzagoon, Ziggy - yes, you! We're gonna beat all those Hoenn Gym Leaders in no time at all - we will!" -Marvin