From: Rob (robfrompw@yahoo.com)
Subject: [PW!] Trends Are So Fickle
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Date: 2003-10-08 17:00:37 PST
"...and that's when *I* said: 'If I left it in there, you wouldn't be
able to walk through doorways'!"
Captain Briney, an old man sporting a white goatee, squints his eyes
in anger at the middle-aged magician sitting across from him on the
small boat he's steering towards Dewford TOwn. Marvin, the magician,
hasn't stopped talking since they boarded the boat hours ago, mainly
recalling magic acts from his past and the lame jokes he came up with
during those acts.
"Don't you get it?" When Captain Briney doesn't respond to the
question, Marvin explains, "The sword was long, you see, and it was
sticking through his neck... horizontally, did I mention I put it
through his neck horizontally? Wait, maybe horizontally's not the word
I'm looking for... Uhm, I put the sword in through the SIDE of his
neck, not through the part of his neck under his face. So then if he
were trying to walk through a door, the sword would get in the way!"
"Land ho!" Captain Briney looks past Marvin to spot Dewford Town on
the horizon, "Oh, thank all that is good in the world! Peeko, prepare
for docking!" A Wingull that's been flying in circles around the boat
swoops down and grabs the end of a coiled rope on the boat with his
beak.
Within minutes, Captain Briney's boat is docked at Dewford Town's
small pier. Captain Briney leaps off the boat, followed by Marvin.
When the captain notices that Peeko isn't the only one following him
and that Marvin's also on his trail as he walks to Dewford Hall, he
stops in his tracks. The magician, who was glancing to the sides to
admire the small town's buildings, crashes into the captain. A very
annoyed Captain Briney quickly turns around and shouts, "Why are you
still following me?!"
"Aren't you leading me to the local Gym?" Marvin backs away from the
man he just crashed into, holding his hands up, "I've never been to
Dewford Town before, and I don't want to get lost here."
"Los- LOST?!" Captain Briney violently flails one of his arms,
gesturing towards the surrounding buildings, "There are like FIVE
buildings in this beach town! There isn't even a POKEMART here! It's
like the town's motto says: 'a TINY island in the blue sea'. How could
you POSSIBLY get LOST in DEWFORD TOWN?!"
Marvin admits, "I have a bad sense of direction."
Captain Briney sighs, "Didn't you tell me on the boat that Professor
Birch gave you a Pokenav? All Pokenavs contain very detailed maps of
each city and town in the Hoenn region."
"Oh yeah..." Marvin pulls his tan Pokenav out of one of his many
pockets, "I forgot about that."
Captain Briney shakes his head in disgust, turns around without saying
another word, and continues marching to Dewford Hall.
"If this town's so small," says Marvin, still trailing Captain Briney
since he's still a little concerned he might get lost on his own, "And
you're not going to the local Gym... then where ARE you going? Can you
at least tell me that?"
"I'm going to Dewford Hall to find out what's been happening in Hoenn
recently," says Captain Briney as he walks, "The people there are very
trendy - they know what's hip and happening. I don't want to fall out
of touch with modern times like so many people my age. Now don't you
have a Gym Leader to interrogate? Let me catch up on Fall Fashions in
peace!" That said, Captain Briney enters a large blue building, Peeko
the Wingull flies in after him, and the grumpy captain slams the door
on Marvin.
"Trendy, eh?" Marvin glances down at the dirty golden tuxedo he's
wearing and smiles, "Maybe one of these trendy people can help me pick
out a hip new wardrobe." He glances around and sees a young
brown-haired man standing near Dewford Hall, "Hey, kid, can you help
me out? I'm trying to find a new look that screams: 'I used to work as
a magician, but now I'm thinking of becoming a Pokemon Master in
addition to being a magician'. Do you think you can help me?"
"Well..." The teenager eyes Marvin's attire and grimaces at how very
tacky it is, "I'll help you if you help me first. I like what's hip,
happening, and trendy. I'm always checking it out. Listen, have you
heard about this new 'TICKLISH THICK FAT'? That's right! Of course you
know! I mean, sheesh, 'TICKLISH THICK FAT'... It's the hottest thing
in cool! Wherever you're from, 'TICKLISH THICK FAT' is the biggest
happening thing, right?"
Marvin disagrees, "I haven't even heard of 'TICKLISH THICK FAT' and
I've lived in both Kanto and Johto. I've even been to the Orange
Islands and I didn't hear that phrase spoken there either."
"Hunh? It's not the hip and happening thing? Well, hey, you have to
tell me, what's new and what's 'in'?"
Marvin, not being one of the "coolest" people in the world, struggles
to answer, "Uhm, it's..."
"Of course I know about that! 'UM IT'S', right?" The brown-haired boy
smiles, "Isn't 'UM IT'S' the coolest, or what?"
*** Meanwhile, On Route 119 ***
Six separate schools of Feebas swimming in a river suddenly decide to
migrate for no good reason.
*** Back in Dewford Town ***
Marvin sweatdrops at the enthusiastic reaction to what he just said,
"Uhhh, yeah..."
The trendy young man clasps his hands eagerly, "Is that also a trendy
new phrase?"
"No..." Marvin backs away slowly from the trend-tracker, "I have to go
now."
"But didn't you want me to help you pick out new clothes?" The trendy
teen calls out to Marvin, even as the magician flees, "We could buy
you some official 'UM IT'S' brand clothing to make you feel at home!"
"No, that's okay - thanks anyway!" Marvin turns around, runs away, and
hides behind the nearest building, which just happens to be the local
Pokemon Center. Smelling the fresh food being cooked in the Cafeteria
within the Center, Marvin decides to eat a quick lunch before visiting
the Dewford Town Gym. Half an hour after entering the Pokemon Center,
Marvin waddles out rubbing his now-full belly in contentment. Staring
down at the map of Dewford Town displayed on the Pokenav he's now
holding in his hand, he waddles all the way to the entrance of Dewford
Town's Gym, where he literally bumps into someone.
That someone just so happens to be a black-haired, green-eyed little
girl wearing a black dress who was distracted since she was admiring a
Knuckle Badge that she just received from Dewford Town's Gym Leader.
She looks up at the 5'7 tall man who she just collided with and
complains, "Hey, mister, you should really watch where you're going -
look out! It's very rude to crash into people - it is! Now if you'll
excuse me - hey wait! You look familiar... where have I seen you
before - where?"
Just then, Marvin notices a few sparkles emerging from next to the
girl's feet. He looks down and sees that the sparkles were emitted
from a shiny, light brown Zigzagoon, who is tugging at the girl's
dress with one of his claws, trying to tell her that she should flee
from the magician. But the girl says, "Not now, Ziggy... I'm trying to
remember who this is - hold on."
Marvin realizes who the little girl is before she recalls who he is -
she's the little girl who had her Zigzagoon to steal his three shiny
Unown during his last magic act in Johto, "I finally caught up with
you, Terri!"
Upon hearing his voice, Terri shrieks, "AHHHHHHH - oh no!"
Marvin grabs her arms with both of his hands and demands, "Give me
back Fire Wand, Tickler, and Blower, and all those wallets you stole
from my audience!" But Marvin's grip on Terri is loosened when Ziggy
crawls up his pant leg and bites the middle-aged man in a very
sensitive area, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Yeah, 'no' is exactly what I was gonna say - good guess!" Terri pulls
her Zigzagoon off Marvin and runs as fast as she can on the beach sand
to Dewford Town's pier.
Marvin slowly limps after the girl, still in pain from the Zigzagoon's
bite, and watches as she climbs into Captain Briney's boat, unties the
rope holding it to the dock, and starts sailing the boat eastwards all
by herself.
Terri shouts at the top of her lungs, "So long - sucker!"
"Octillery," Marvin pulls a Pokeball out of his tuxedo's coat pocket
and drops it on the sand. When the red Octopus Pokemon appears, Marvin
pleads, "Please swim after that boat, climb onto it, and bring me back
my three shiny Unown."
"Oct?" Marvin's Octillery snarls, angry that Marvin just wants him to
perform another chore instead of wanting him to battle another
Pokemon. The Water Pokemon extends his tentacles up to Marvin's face
and slaps him around a few times.
Marvin sighs, recalls his Octillery, then watches Captain Briney's
boat, his only way off the island, sail into the distance.
-Marvin