Subject: [PW!] Trent's a Dork! The Battle for Metal Coat! Date: 15 Jun 2003 08:59:57 GMT From: jsolano199@aol.comlink (Jose L. Solano) Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Trent and his Aerodactyl had landed in the woods outside of Olivine to rethink their strategy. Vee's search for the other Unown was interrupted by some sort of time-disruption (at least, that's what it seemed like) and he wasn't able to pick up the trail, so he- "Actually, how do I know what gender you are, Vee?" Trent asked. Vee gave him a reply that would be rather difficult to put into words, so let's just say they settled on referring to Vee as an it. "Wait, wouldn't that mean-" Vee told Trent to shut up. "Fine, just get to work finding that stupid vine kid. Mimic's probably still with him... I've got to think of a way to keep him out of this. Aerodactyl, you have any ideas?" "Aero!" "Uh..." Trent didn't understand Aerodactyl's speech. "Hmm. No point asking any of the others. Dammit, where's Ashura when I need him?!" "HI MISTER!" a little girl suddenly yelled. She was about eight, with disgustingly cute blonde curls. "AAAH!" Trent jumped and aimed his gun at her. PW!- Trent Retwin "Trent's a Dork! The Battle for Metal Coat!" Jose L. Solano "Who are you?!" "I'm Amy! I like your Aerodactyl!" "Great kid, now fuck off." "I have Pokémon, too! Let's battle!" "...Battle?" Trent had nothing else to do while Vee tried to find the vine kid. "Okay... but I get all your money if I win." "I don't have any money!" "You... forget it then!" The little girl Amy handed Trent her backpack. "Well... I have other stuff!" Trent grabbed the backpack and started digging through it. "Let's see... Pokémon handbook, a few empty Pokéballs... metal coat? What's this crap?" "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell... yougiveittoasteel-typePokémonanditsattacksarealotstronger!" As she explained that, Trent found a few empty soda cans in her backpack. "Do you have any steel-types, mister?" "I... don't think I do..." Somewhere within his trenchcoat, the Pokéball containing Warren shook in protest. "I guess I should get some, then... in fact, I will! This'll probably make it unstoppable! Okay, little girl! If I win, I get your metal coat?" "What do I get if I win?" "Uh... you get whatever Pokémon is in this ball." Trent set a Pokéball on the ground. "Do we have a deal?" "Deal! Okay, three on three! Are you ready? Go, Pidgey!" "PIDGEY?!" Trent burst into laughter. "What's wrong with you, kid? You think your Pidgey can stand up to me?! Since you've made me laugh, I've decided to go easy on you! Graveler, smash it!" Graveler rolled over the worthless Pidgey, and that was the end of the match. "Pidgey, return! Go, Weedle!" "Okay, it's not funny anymore. I almost feel sorry for you." Graveler rolled over the worthless Weedle. "Oh, my poor Weedle! Return! Okay," she said to her third Pokéball, "You're all I have left. Go, Magikarp!" "MAGIKARP?! Oh, come on! Do you honestly... that's... that's not a Magikarp." "No, I just like to call it Magikarp!" Indeed, Graveler's opponent was not a Magikarp... it wasn't anything Trent had ever seen before. A metal spider of some sort... "It's really a Metagross! Makigarp, use Psychic!" Graveler didn't stand a chance. Trent withdrew him and sent in his Rhydon. "Psychic, again!" Not that Rhydon was of much use. "So it's got psychic power, huh? Okay... Vertigo, show it what REAL psychic power is!" The crazy Exeggutor spun around in circles before stopping and facing Trent. "No, not me! The Metagross! No! NO!" Trent was blasted against a tree by Vertigo's Psychic attack. He sat up, rubbing his head. "Magikarp, Aerial Ace!" One hit later, Vertigo was out of the match. Amy hugged her Metagross "Yay! Magikarp, I love you so much!" "Yay, Metagross I love you so much," Trent mumbled in mockery, clearly bitter that some stupid little girl was beating him. "Aerodactyl, let's see if you're worth anything in battle!" "Magikarp, Psychic attack!" "Dammit, Aerodactly! You're WORTHLESS!" Trent yelled at the fainted Pokémon. He quickly sent in Onix, hoping it wouldn't lose so pathetically like the others did. "Magikarp, Psychic attack!" "..." "..." "..." "..." "What? Magikarp is out of Psychics! Uh... uh... Aerial Ace!" "..." "..." "It's out of Aerial Ace, too! Oh, I should've stopped at the Pokémon Center! Magikarp, use Earthquake!" "..." "Does it really take that long to see if it's out of attacks?!" "I forgot! Magikarp doesn't know Earthquake! I can't remember what its other attacks are!" "That's great. Onix, Earthquake." Onix slammed his head into the ground and toppled the Metagross over. Amy returned it to its Pokéball and started to cry. "My poor Magikarp!" "Fine, whatever. Gimme that metal coat." "Here you go, mister..." After giving Trent the metal coat, Amy ran off crying. Trent smirked, and checked to see if Vee was done locating the stupid vine kid. "YOU!" "Me!" "YOU MADE MY DAUGHTER CRY!" a burly, bearded man yelled. "I won this metal coat, we had a deal!" "YOU GIVE IT BACK OR I'M GONNA MESS YOU UP!" "Maybe we can talk about this... here, Onix, hold this metal coat for a sec." Onix took the metal coat in his mouth with a low "Iwar." As Trent approached the large man, he reached into his trenchcoat. "Now, you say that was your little girl?" "Yes, and she told me you beat up her Metagross, and you stole her metal coat, and she told me you used that Onix to help you! Now that's just being a bully, and I DON'T LIKE BULLIES!" "Now, let's say I-" The bearded man, having already seen that Trent was reaching for something, tackled him before he could draw his weapon. "I got him pinned! Snorlax, you give his Onix a Hyper Beam!" "Hmph." A fat (and I do mean fat) Snorlax crawled out from behind some trees, yawned, and unleashed a powerful wave of energy at Onix, who just blinked at the oncoming attack. The attack knocked Onix's head back, but he was able to stand (or sit... or whatever) his ground. Once the attack was over, Onix shook his head and glared at Snorlax... and then he started to glow. "Get off of me you fatass!" "GIVE MY LITTLE GIRL HER METAL COAT BACK!" "Get off of me!" "GRRAAAAAH!" "Grah?" "YOU HEARD WHAT I... wait, I didn't say that." "GRAAAAAAAAAH!" Trent and the bearded man slowly turned their heads in unison to look behind them. Onix was gone, replaced by the impressive shining Steelix. "Alright, my Onix evolved!" "YOU USED THE METAL COAT! NOW I WANT YOU TO BUY MY LITTLE GIRL A NEW ONE!" "No." Trent kicked the bearded man off and climbed onto Steelix's head using the newly-formed spikes on his side as a makeshift ladder. "Hell yeah! I've got a Steelix! Steelix, crush this fatty!" "Grah." "What?! You're disobeying me?!" "Greeeeh." Steelix yawned. "Greeeeeeh." "You piece of shit!" Steelix started moving out of the woods, with Trent still on his head. "Where are you taking me?! Stop! Hey! Listen! I'm your master! MASTER!! Stop! That's an order!! What's wrong with you?! Do you want me to beg?! Is that it?! I won't do it! Now get back there! GET BACK THERE!! PLEASE?! C'MON, I'M BEGGING YOU!!" And so, Trent unwillingly rode off into the sunset. Jose L. Solano ------------------------------- A devious, degenerate defender of the devil