From: Bandraptor (bandraptor@yahoo.com) Subject: [PW!] [SC] When the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Date: 2003-12-18 03:36:02 PST Sting the Tentacool and Avalanche the Tyranitar are lying in the lush green grasses that grow along the outskirts of Silver Town. The sky is cloudless and blue, the breeze is gentle and warm. It is a perfect day for lying on one's back, and doing nothing at all. Actually, in Sting and Avalanche's opinion, any day is a good day for lying on their backs and doing nothing at all--for you see, Sting and Avalanche are normally very busy creatures. They are both members of an elite organization. A covert organization. An organization dedicated to evil using Pokemon! No, not *that* organization. Sting and Avalanche are members of the Fraternal Order of Disenfranchised Pocket Monsters, also known as The Brotherhood of Evil Pokemon. They think of themselves as a community outreach group. They do not limit themselves to any one particular community, either. They are quite mobile, and they try to spread their resources evenly across Johto. Once they find a community that is to their liking, they commence the process of outreach. They mooch off the community. They swindle the community. They generally succeed in annoying the community. Once they are forcibly ejected from the community, they move on to another town, and begin the process anew. It is a busy life. That is why Sting and Avalanche are particularly appreciative of lazy days such as this one. "Cool..." Sting burbles in his nearly unintelligible native tongue, "<Where the> tent <is Blizzard?>" Avalanche responds, "Grrraaaan. <Who cares?>" The large Tyranitar closes his eyes, interested only in soaking up the sun's rays. "<I care,> tenta!" Sting snaps. "<That> coolta tent <of a Persian was supposed to register us for the Silver Conference, and instead she's gone AWOL. This SUCKS! How are we supposed to show the world how bad>tent <we are, if we don't enter the> tentcool <Silver Conference? If we don't win that contest, we'll be dismissed as meaningless characters! We'll be the laughing stock of the PokeWars!>" Sting pulls himself up high on his two tentacles, then hobbles over to Avalanche, and gives him a sharp kick. "<Get up,> 'Cool. <We have some serious training to do.>" Avalanche asks, "<Why?>" Sting explains, "<Because. If we don't find some excuse to display our power on a regular basis, people might forget that we're a couple of bad> tent <motha'> cooltas." Avalanche says, "<Oh.>" "<Also, when I said that 'we' were going to train, I mainly meant 'you'. C'mon,> 'Cool." Sting motions to Avalanche with his tentacles, "<We'll start by running some laps. We have to work up your> coolta <weak Speed stat. I've seen> coolta <NINJASK that can move faster than you.>" Avalanche thinks it's pretty stupid to waste time attempting to improve the one statistic that is naturally low in his species, especially when the rest of his stats are quite phenomenal. He points out, "<I'm a Rock-type.>" "<No> COOL, <Sherlock.>" Sting snaps, "<And a part of me dies every time I see your slow> cool <flailing around on the field. You've gotta be better than everyone at *everything*! You'll go through with this training, and then, when you're running circles around Electrodes and Jolteons, and people say, 'that's> coolta <BROKEN,' I'll tell those> coolta tentas <you're fast 'cause you trained *REALLY* *HARD*. They won't be able to argue with that.>" Avalanche says, "<Oh.>" "<Anyway, you've gotta train hard if you're gonna beat that Hitmonlee. Remember how you got smacked by that> coolta <Hitmonlee?>" "<No...>" "<Well, it doesn't matter if you remember, or if the battle even happened.>" Sting explains, "<The point I'm trying to make is that we never forget a grudge. We're like that one> coolta <Treecko. When we lose a fight, we start jumping off cliffs, punching our way through boulders and> tent, <trying to make ourselves stronger. We're like a couple of> coolta <samurai. Scary> coolta tentas, <and all that> tent." Avalanche screws up his face in thought, still trying to remember when he may have battled a Hitmonlee. Although he can't remember such a fight, he's fairly certain that he's never fainted during a battle. He turns to Sting, and says firmly, "<I never lose.>" Sting scowls, "<I just want to make sure that you never start.>" The two of them begin walking towards the nearest volcano. Since Avalanche and Sting are both casual followers of Japanese animation, they know that active volcanoes make for excellent training grounds! Tall cliffs positioned close to the ocean are also acceptable, but volcanoes are preferable. Fortunately, there is one nearby. They are about to scale the craggy mountain, when Avalanche trips. Noticing a black box buried in the ground at the Tyranitar's feet, Sting hurriedly picks it up. "Tentacool, <it's a TM!>" "Grraaan," Avalanche appears pensive, "<some hapless traveler must've lost it. The proper thing for us to do is to seek out the rightful owner. Whoever they are, I'm sure they're very distressed over its loss.>" Sting doesn't stop to wonder why Avalanche is acting so horribly out of character, since Avalanche is a Pokemon, and it's common for Pokemon to have indistinct personalities. "Tent <that> cool. <Obviously, this TM was put here for us to use. The world revolves around *us*. Haven't you figured that out yet,> coolta?" Sting opens the box, certain that it will contain the data for a very rare move, like Aeroblast, or possibly even Sacred Fire. Unfortunately, as he is about to find out, not all black boxes are TMs. Some black boxes contain gunpowder. Some black boxes are bombs! The Tentacool and the Tyranitar are enveloped in a cloud of smoke, as the explosive device detonates. "Mwa, ha, ha!" Two flashy-looking Team Rocket members and one talking Meowth leap out from behind a boulder to laugh at Sting and Avalanche's plight. They do little else. Jessie and James' witty banter is difficult to write! Bored by the Rockets' lame cameo, Avalanche and Sting dust themselves off, and continue on their way up the mountain. As the pair of Pokemon disappears into the distance, Jessie complains, "We never play a meaningful role in these Tournament storylines." Avalanche slowly nears the volcano's peak, stepping cautiously along the crumbling layer of ash that lines the surface of the mountain. Finally, his feet touch solid rock--the rim of the volcano. Avalanche and Sting both look down at the boiling lake of bright red lava that stretches out beneath them. Conveniently enough, there are many Tyranitar-sized stepping stones floating in the lava. "<Well, get going.>" Sting orders, "<Get your colossal green> cool <in gear, and commence with some DBZ-style training exercises.>" Avalanche is confused by the acronym, "<Dibs? Dibs on food?>" "<No, MORON.>" Sting smacks him. "<Everyone knows what D.B.Z. represents. It stands for Dynamic Battlers' Zeitgeist. They're a think tank dedicated to improving standardized movesets, and their training techniques are legendary.>" "<Hmm.>" Avalanche sniffs the air. "<Do you smell...Sulfur?>" At that exact moment, the two Pokemon both asphyxiate, and tumble down the mountain. * * * Meanwhile, off at the Whirl Islands, Cappie encounters a Lugia. Nothing exciting happens. TBC... --Beth