[PW!] Combine and Conquer!

From: "Bandraptor" <bandraptor@yahoo.com> Subject: [PW!] Combine and Conquer! Date: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 12:24 AM On the upper deck of the S.S. Tidal, there is a set of presidential suites that are set aside for the cruise liner's more elite guests. Traveling dignitaries and Gym Leaders might find themselves booked into these suites, as would the Hoenn League's Champion. Unlike the cabins that are rented out to normal passengers, which come in several varieties of "tiny," the presidential suites are quite luxurious and inviting. Each suite is equipped with a large sliding glass door, which opens out onto a small, private balcony overlooking the sea. Inside, the rooms are wide, plushly carpeted, and exquisitely furnished. The standard setup includes a king-sized bed, a plasma screen television, a minibar, and a private bathroom complete with both a stall shower and a Jacuzzi bathtub. The more exclusive suites, such as the one belonging to Steven Devon, are even more elaborately decorated--for example, Steven's room includes a five-foot-thick steel-plated target wall on one end, for those times when he feels compelled to have his Aggron Hyper Beam something for no good reason. The room belonging to Captain Stern's father is much less ornate by comparison. In truth, Mr. Stern's visits to the S.S. Tidal are few and far between (Mr. Stern feeling that if he had been meant to travel the seas, he would've been born with Deepseascales), and the room is set aside for him mainly as a formality. It lacks the minibar that is present in every other suite, rationale being that the food would spoil in between his visits (and as per the captain's orders, all room service to his suite is both complimentary and priority, so there's really no need for a minibar). Additionally, there's a conspicuous lack of a television (Mr. Stern's belief being that the use of electricity is tantamount to Zapdos worship, the plasma screen was removed from his room one day into his first visit). In spite of all this, the suite is enviable. It even looks nice at the moment, taking into consideration the fact that one of the armchairs has just been smashed to pieces so that the legs could be obtained for use as weapons. Sting the Tentacool and Avalanche the Tyranitar are standing in the middle of the debris, chair legs raised above their heads like clubs. They are facing each other, or, more accurately, they are staring at the two Pokeballs that are laid out on the floor between them. One of the balls, they know, contains their friend, Blizzard. The other one holds something else--they aren't sure what, but after their experience with Nori's 'Substivoir,' they aren't going to take any chances. Sting shifts his weapon into one tentacle, and slowly inches his other tentacle towards the nearest ball. "<Okay,> 'Cool," he instructs Avalanche, "<Water, Bug, or Fighting--I take it. Psychic or Electric--you take it.>" Avalanche narrows his eyes at the diminutive Tentacool, not having much faith in Sting's ability to defend them. "" Sting taps the release button with his tentacle. A white Persian pops out! Sting and Avalanche both clobber her with their makeshift clubs. "<THAT'S for all the> tent <we had to go through to rescue you,> tentacool!!! <We had to run all the way across> tent<ing Johto!!! Do you have any idea how> tenta <FAR that is?!?>" "Pur?" Blizzard takes a moment to react, before placing her forepaws over her head to protect herself. She manages to speak through the beating, "<If any of us should be dismayed with any of us over recent events, it is I with the two of you. When last we met, Avalanche took strides to deprive me of the delectable dinosaurian dinner that I was about to enjoy, and you, Sting, made no attempt to stop him. Were you both not members of the Pokemon Brotherhood, and thereby immune to my wrath according to the bylaws that I myself took part in writing, I would consider sating my appetite on you, instead.>" Sting and Avalanche could both argue with this, but instead, they sweatdrop, sigh, and toss their clubs aside, reasoning that Blizzard doesn't need any more blows to the head. Blizzard nimbly gets to her feet, then sits daintily back on her haunches, and addresses the pair as if nothing happened. "<You are forgiven for your transgressions. In truth, I am glad that our paths have crossed, as there is a matter that I wish to discuss with you.>" When she is sure that they both are listening, she continues, "<For some time now, I have been displeased with our living arrangements in Goldenrod. In that particular city, there are far too many problems with our domicile's extraneous occupant, and far too few humans who are willing to live up to their inborn responsibility of keeping us fed. Fortunately for all of us, I have recently discovered a most extraordinary place, which could serve as substitute. Since arriving on the S.S. Tidal, I have found that the beds are soft, and food is brought to one while they are sleeping. After careful deliberation, I have decided that it would be in our best interest to relocate our base of operations to this locale, but as we are a collective, I wish to gauge your opinions before making my final decision.>" Sting takes a few seconds to process this. "<Wait a minute. You want to live here?>" He strokes his chin in contemplation. "<Actually...that's not such a bad idea. This place is pretty> tenta <sweet. We figured out how to punch buttons on that ringing thing next to the bed, and now humans are always rushing up here with nachos and> tent. <It's no Seafoam, but we could do a lot worse.>" Avalanche frowns in dissent. "<Waves make me sick.>" "Tent <you,> cool!" Sting snaps, "<You gonna walk away from> tenta coolta <NACHOS?>" Avalanche continues to frown, "" "<Yes, yes, we all enjoy the occasional gastrolith,>" Blizzard says dismissively. "<However, as the vote is two to one, we shall remain onboard this ship. Now, the only matter to decide is how best to get back to our room.>" Sting glances around the suite. "<We *could* go back to that roach infested> cool <hole that you were camped out in...or, we could stay here.>" Blizzard shakes her head pityingly at the Tentacool who doesn't even know well enough to find shelter inside a cabin. "<Very well, Sting. I shall humor you.>" "<Fine. Good. It's settled.>" Sting heaves a sigh of relief, and turns his attention to the remaining Pokeball that's sitting at their feet. He gestures to it with a tentacle, "<Bliz, what should we do with this sorry> cool?" "Purr," Blizzard sizes the Pokeball up before issuing her decree, "" She unsheathes a claw, and flicks the release button on the blue and white Ultra Ball. "DRIO!" A six foot tall ostrich with a scar crossing its belly and a golden headband on one of its three heads leaps out of the ball, screeching at the top of its lungs. It whips its heads around in all directions, quickly mapping out the room and sizing up its enemies. All the while, it continues to scream its name, "DRIIOOO!!!" ...Until a Paralyzing Thunderbolt puts an end to its tirade. Blizzard frowns down at the prone and stunned Dodrio, then begins to rub her sensitive ears with the backs of her forepaws, trying to alleviate the pain caused by the bird's loud yelling. "Persian, <clearly, this Pokemon is hard of hearing, for it to speak at such an absurd volume. It will take some effort to communicate with it...>" Blizzard clears her throat, and places her muzzle right next to the Dodrio's middle head, "<HELLO? HELLO, CAN YOU HEAR ME?>" The Dodrio jerks all three of its heads up in shock. The middle head speaks, "<Confound it woman, lower your voice! Cerberus is not deaf!>" "<Excuse me,>" Blizzard flips her tail in annoyance, "" "<God> tent <it,>" Sting growls, "<the> tenta coolta <is talking in the> tent<ing third person. He must think he's a> coolta <SLOWPOKE.>" Since Sting is a Poison-type, the venom in his voice is particularly palpable as he speaks. Even though it's been over seven years since he parted ways with Luthor, he still has no patience for anyone who even slightly resembles his former Trainer. The middle head responds in a loud, reverberating voice, "<I speak on behalf of my body--the entity called 'Cerberus,' one born of the element of Earth! I am the middle head, composed of the element of Fire! To my left is my most trusted ally, composed of the elements of Wind and Lightning! And on my other side is my traitorous right head, whose loyalty was bought with a meager piece of gold! It embodies the elements of Ice and Water, which fortunately, are of little consequence to me. Such facts are not important, however! Tell me, why have you captured Cerberus, and what do you intend to do with him?!?>" "<We are the Brotherhood of Pokemon.>" Blizzard explains patiently. "<We have liberated you from your former Trainer, and now we are giving you a chance to join us.>" Cerberus' left and middle heads converse privately, then the middle head speaks out loud again, "<You have rescued Cerberus from captivity--but it appears there are conditions to his freedom! Tell Cerberus, what will be his fate should he refuse to join you?>" Blizzard examines her claws. "" The middle head nods grimly, understanding. "<Aye, Cerberus would be a fool if he expected any differently. Admittedly, a wounded Earth-bird is little match for three healthy adversaries, so it would seem that Cerberus has little choice in the matter...>" The middle head relents, "<...Very well then, Cerberus will join you.>" "<An excellent decision,>" Blizzard appraises. Cerberus slowly gets to his feet, testing his legs for residual numbness. "<Now that Cerberus has given his oath, speak frankly--what is the nature of our organization?>" "Persian," Blizzard explains, "<The Brotherhood of Pokemon is devoted to improving the lives of wild Pokemon, through terrorist acts if necessary. We-->" "COOL!" Sting shouts to get Blizzard's attention, then hisses under his breath, "<Don't feed him the line about 'brotherhood.' *We* both know that terrorism> tent <is just some bull we cooked up to weasel cash out of extremists; but this guy is the type of> cool<ed up> tentcool <who'll take it seriously, and use it as an excuse to go on a killing spree or something.>" Blizzard shrugs her shoulders. "<He requested that I be honest with him, and I am doing just that. I said we were devoted to improving the lives of wild Pokemon. I never suggested that we were working for the benefit of any wild Pokemon other than ourselves.>" "<Cerberus does not wish to know the impetus that drives your group,>" the Dodrio booms, "<the rationales of men and Pokemon are of little import to an Earth-bird born! Cerberus only wishes to battle, and to that end, needs know only two things: Which city will we be conquering, and have we the numbers to succeed?>" Sting gestures frantically, "<See? See?!?>" "Purr..." Blizzard ponders, "<I am not familiar with the lay of the land that we have traveled to, so it is impossible for me to single out any one city by name. In any event, I believe it would be prudent for us to secure our base aboard this ship, prior to making any other arrangements.>" "<Aye,>" Cerberus nods, "<we shall stake claim to our territory, and drive off all foes within our borders! This foppish ship may not be a suitable base for a group of hardy warriors, but transients cannot afford to choose! We shall dignify this chintzy cruise liner by making it our first conquest!>" "<Such enthusiasm,>" Blizzard purrs in admiration. To Sting, she says, "<It is fortunate that we happened upon this ruffian. With Cerberus on our side, the Pokemon Brotherhood's rate of seizure should increase dramatically.>" "<The> COOL?" Sting rubs his eyes in disbelief. "<No! No conquest! No seizure! Blizzard, the Pokemon Brotherhood is a scam--we don't really DO that> tent! <We start sacking cities for real, and we'll defeat the whole> tent<ing purpose of having a fraudulent organization!>" "<Possibly,>" Blizzard admits, "<however, we will also improve our credibility.>" Cerberus' middle head confers with his left head for several minutes before he again speaks to Blizzard. He doesn't bother to acknowledge Avalanche or Sting, figuring that they're just underlings, and talking to them will be a waste of time. "<White Lioness, reconnaissance is as important an aspect of battle as the fighting itself! Before we move on our adversaries, we would be wise to scout the terrain and search for potential allies! It has been Cerberus' experience that, as surely as men will flock to their taverns, so too will Pokemon gather at the local Pokemon Center! A quick scan of such an establishment should unearth the Pokemon who are sympathetic to our cause!>" Blizzard smiles appreciatively, "<An excellent idea. Cerberus, let us make our way over to the ship's Pokemon Center.>" Cerberus reaches for the cabin's doorknob with his left beak, and opens the door for Blizzard. Once the two of them are through, Avalanche and Sting follow reluctantly. Sting complains bitterly to his Tyranitar companion, "Tent. <Just> TENT. <What the> cool <kinda> tent <plan is this? You just KNOW this is gonna end badly.>" "<You're still going,>" Avalanche points out. Sting's eyes bulge out in fury, "<What the> cool <is THIS> tent?!? <Now I gotta take lip from the> cool<ing muscle?!?>" He shakes his head. "<This is> cool<ing rock bottom right here, that's what this> tent <is.>" Blizzard drops out of step with Cerberus, and rejoins the pair. "<Sting,>" she begins, "<I feel obligated to inform you that there is going to be a period of reorganization within the Brotherhood. From this day forward, Cerberus shall be replacing you as my second in command. I apologize if this news comes as a surprise to you, but you must admit, of the two of you, Cerberus possesses a superior motivational drive.>" She quickens her pace again, leaving the pair behind. Avalanche frowns disapprovingly at Sting, and he too speeds up, worried that if he continues to associate with a slacker, he might get demoted as well. Sting sinks down into a gooey puddle on the floor. "Tent. Tent <me.> Tent <rock bottom, I'm under the> cool<ing mantle.>" TBC? --Beth