From: "STEFFAN HEDD ALUN" <sha3@aber.ac.uk> Subject: [PW!] Kable Klub Kraziness!! Date: Monday, April 26, 2004 12:04 PM Lauren and Diego, the notorious Team Rocket smugglers, strutted into the Slateport Pokémon Center. Nurse Joy's face smiled quickly faded. "Didn't I already tell you to-" "We told you," interrupted Diego, "That we had to get our Pokémon from the contest house. And now we have him." He raised the PokéBall for Joy to see. "Right," said Joy, with the air of one who wished that they would break a rule as soon as possible so that they could be thrown out. "Want to heal it do you?" "Oh ho, no!" laughed Diego pompously. "We want to trade. Show us to your Trade Centre." A smile spread across Joy's face. "That's upstairs!" she grinned. "Up the escalator." Lauren and Diego hurried upstairs. Joy breathed a sigh of relief. PokéWars!: Lauren and Diego "Kable Klub Kraziness!!" Steffan Alun "Great," said Lauren. "We're doing well, and we've not broken a single law yet. There's nothing illegal about trading. Only the people actually selling it on the black market will be doing anything wrong, and we can't be held responsible just because we happen to be in on the plan, can we?" "Of course not," said Diego. "It's a victimless crime. Like killing a postman." "Exactly," said Lauren, who wasn't really listening. She approached a counter undearneath the sign reading "The Kable Klub!!" "They're appealing to the young," said Diego sadly. "You can tell by the double-exclamation mark and incorrect spelling. Oh, and by the special offer on birthday parties." "Good day," said Lauren professionally, talking to the woman serving. "We're here to trade a Pokémon." "Alright," replied the woman. "You just need to fill in this form." "A form." "Yes, that's right." "Why?" The woman sighed. "There are many restrictions when it comes to trading in the Cable Club." "What?" spat Lauren. "Why?" "They're technicalities more than anything," replied the woman. "A few years ago, some mad foreigner wanted to create a time machine to trade with the past." She rolled her eyes to represent her feelings for this idea. "So basically, we had to introduce all sorts of guidelines." "Oh, right. Well, we want to trade with the present, so no restrictions, right?" said Lauren. "There aren't that many restrictions anyway." "Oh, good." "Only things like attacks they know." "Excellent." "Which items they may want to take with them." "Fantastic." "And which species they are, obviously." "..." "Sorry, is something wrong?" The woman gave Lauren an appraising look. "You can't just send Pokémon to where they don't belong. It could mess up the whole ecosystem. A few years ago, a pair of Oddish arrived here from Kanto inside a crate of bananas, and now they're EVERYWHERE." She sighed. "Roselia are rarer now, and it's bound to be because of Oddish dominating their habitats." "I see," said Lauren. "Anyway, we'll be taking those forms now." They took a seat some distance away. Diego took out a pen and began to write. "Name. Gooorrrdoooon...Bennnnnnet." "Gordon Bennet?" enquired Lauren. "If they find out what we're doing, he'll get the blame," explained Diego. "Anyway. Number of badges. I'll put six - maybe they won't let you take Pokémon that are too strong unless you have badges to prove you can handle them. Trainer number. I'll put my date of birth down. Bound to be SOMEONE's number. Pokémon. Ah." There were six blank tables, each containing room for species, gender, attacks and any items held. "Put down..." said Lauren, biting her bottom lip. "Pidgey. Male. Knows Gust and Sand-Attack." Diego quickly noted this down, worrying whether they'd actually check. The Manectric in the PokéBall looked nothing like a Pidgey. "Oh, and put down that it's holding a Nugget," said Lauren. "So you know they'll treat it carefully. We don't want to take any risks." Diego wrote it down, and continued to read. "Have you taken any drugs or alcohol in the last... No. Has your Pokémon taken any drugs or... No. Do you have a criminal record? No. Are you human? No. I mean yes. Place of birth? Umm. Let's say Blackthorn City. Favourite restaurant? Brock's Diner, obviously." "No!" exclaimed Lauren. "Put down Electric Cafe. We don't want to give away that we're in contact with Kanto." "Right you are." Diego made the ammendment. "Where did you hear about the Kable Klub!!? Magazine, TV, radio, friend/relative, heard rumours, wtf is a Kable Klub!!?, other please specify. Other. Was informed by crazy hobo. Have you ever used the Kable Klub!!'s services before? Sure, why not? Where were you when the world stopped turning? Hmm. I'll put down Cable Club. Did you know that one in four people are medically deaf? No. Oh, wait, that was just a bit of trivia thrown in for fun. Alright." Diego double-checked everything. "We're ready to trade!" He handed in the form, which was checked thouroughly. "Alright, Mr Bennet," said the woman. "You'll be let in shortly. You'll have to stay here, I'm afraid, madam." "What the-" "Or you could fill in your own form." "Bugger that." "Right," said Diego. "So we're ready to go?" "I just need to feed the necessary info from the form into the machine," said the woman. "Feel free to use the phone to contact the recipient while I'm doing so." She left, and Diego greedily looked at the phone. He lifted the receiver. "Alright," he said. "I'm phoning HQ." TBC!!