From: asver...@unity.ncsu.edu (Andrusi) Subject: [PW!][BBB] Metal Magnet Mashers Date: 14 Aug 2004 18:52:52 -0700 It was a perfectly ordinary summer morning for everyone not important to this story. Based on this, you might have assumed Keith Renev was just some random background NPC going about his business, as superficially this appeared to be a perfectly normal summer morning for him. He was visiting his friends, the Yortseds, at their home in Viridian City. If one paid closer attention, however, one might notice something a bit unusual about him, such as that he was a servant of the Voltorbs who had been sent on a mission to strike out against their hated enemy, the Magnemites. Whoops. Kinda gave it away there, didn't I? Yes, Keith was working for those most evil of Pokémon, Voltorbs and Electrodes. He did not do so willingly, or rather, he did not do so through any decision he had willingly made. He had been a bit reluctant to drop everything and start attacking Magnemites, and so the Voltorbs had forcibly changed his mind. Psychic-type Pokémon might have been able to rewrite his brain using their powers, or simply control him directly, but Voltorbs are not capable of this--they are a bit lacking in the brain power department. (Generally that statement is said using a different definition of "brain power" than the one used here; of Voltorbs, though, either would be true.) So they had instead applied repeated electrical shocks to his brain, giving him a hatred for all things metal, one-eyed, Sturdy or Magnet Pulling, and electric, and the process had quite understandably had some effects on his mind. For one thing, it severely impaired his judgement, as evidenced by his current destination... oh. He's there now. Keith knocked, waited, and was answered by Mr. Yortsed. The man had been responsible for much of Keith's training for his job, and so the two were good friends. "Keith, what a surprise!" Mr. Yortsed said. "Come on in, we just finished breakfast." Keith grinned. "Good to see you," he didn't say, because in the middle of "Good" he found himself on the recieving end of a mild Thundershock. He looked down and saw a small yellow bunny-thing staring up at him with what he had successfully convinced himself, after the first hundred times he recieved it, was a look of excitement (and not, as was likely the truth, one of unbridled hatred). "Crosswise!" he said, bending down to pick up the Pokémon. "How's my favorite Plusle today?" "Plus," Crosswise replied, attempting an unfriendly tone and failing miserably. Being extremely cute makes it difficult to convey one's disdain for someone. "So, Keith," Mr. Yortsed asked, "what brings you here so early?" "It's work-related." At this point, let me interrupt for a moment. Mr. Yortsed and his wife, and also Keith, were all members of the same large organization, known worldwide and especially throughout Kanto and Johto. This organization would probably have been well-respected if it wasn't anything like Team Rocket. Unfortunately, it *was* Team Rocket, which is about as like Team Rocket as you can get without being a Nicktoon. Anyway. "Oh. New orders for us?" "Actually, it's--Can I come in?" "Wha?" Mr. Yortsed realized they were still standing at the door. "Oh, sure." * "So anyway," Keith said, now seated on the couch, "I have a new assignment, and I was told to pick a partner who was well-suited for the job." "What's this assignment?" Mrs. Yortsed, who had joined the conversation, asked. Her full attention (and that of her husband) was on their friend Keith, which meant that none of it was on their ten-year-old daughter Uli, who was on the floor watching some cartoon and trying her best to tune out the work-talk. She couldn't wait until she got to become a feared ROCKET♀ GRUNT herself and do all sorts of generally nasty things to people and their Pokémon, and listening to them talk just made her more impatient. "Well, there hasn't been any progress made on the Bomb Ball Bashers, and I'm supposed to correct that." Keith didn't need to explain--while the Bomb Ball Bashers might have been unfamiliar to most Rockets, one of them had been a member of the Yortsed family, their son Enimuram. He had turned against Team Rocket, along with Keith's cousin Andy, and had apparently set out to start a new Anti Team Rocket of sorts, using the cover story that they were trying to eliminate all of Voltorbkind. (Actually, that was their *real* goal, and their fights with Team Rocket resulted from a misunderstanding, but nobody present knew that.) Eventually they had been caught and killed, along with another traitor by the name of Ted Brotlov (who had pretended to try to stop them and yet had always conveniently "failed"), but two targets had escaped--the BBB's apparent new recruit Andrew O'Reilly, and Brotlov's partner Cyclonus the Electabuzz. "That's quite an undertaking," Mr. Yortsed observed. "So why did you come here?" "Because," Keith said, "I think Uli--" Uliok Yortsed heard and immediately looked up. "--should be my partner," Keith finished. He turned his head to look at the girl, and his vision immediately was entirely filled with brown hair. At about the same time something collided with his upper body. Meanwhile his ears filled with what sounded like excited babble. It took him a few seconds to realized that all three events shared a common cause and that said cause was currently hugging him. "YayIreallyalwayswantedtogoonarealTeamRocketmissionandIthoughtI'dhavetowaituntilIwasoldenoughtojoinforrealbutnowIcangonowandmaybeifI'mgoodenoughthey'llletmejoinearlyandIcanstealPokémonandmoneyandattackrandompassersbyfornorealreasonandwearacoolhatandmaybeevengettokillpeopleandhelptakeovertheworldthankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!" "I think she likes the idea," Uli's mother said with a smile. Now Uli realized a possible way things could go horribly wrong. Better to get this over with now. "Mom, can I go?" "Sure," said Mrs. Yortsed. "YES!" said Uli. "Plus?!" gasped Crosswise. "Wait," said Keith. "You mean you're just going to let her suddenly leave, with no warning at all, and you aren't even hesitant?" "Of course not," Uli's mom said. "We all knew this day would come, and decided we wouldn't stand in her way." "The day I'd show up out of nowhere and say I was going off to commit murder and who knows what else and asked if I could drag your little girl along potentially to her death?" "Yes." Somehow this seemed perfectly logical to Keith. "Okay." He turned to the place where Uli had been standing two seconds ago. Then he turned further and saw her running upstairs, presumably to pack up. "So, have you been assigned a new Pokémon for this mission?" Mr. Yortsed asked. "As a matter of fact, yes." Keith grinned, pulled a Pokéball from his belt, and dropped it. A Vulpix appeared. "...another Vulpix? What's wrong with Flare?" Keith slapped his forehead. "That IS Flare. Wrong Pokéball." He tried again, and this time a larger and considerably rounder Pokémon appeared. "TRODE!" Mr. Yortsed was unimpressed. "An Electrode?" "Yep. It's named Scourge," Keith replied as Scourge stared at Flare. Had anyone asked, it would have replied that it was trying to count the Vulpix's tails, but kept losing count when it got up to really big numbers like two. "Why an Electrode?" "Because Electrode is the greatest Pokémon ever." "No it's not." "But it has amazing powers!" "It's just fast." "The fastest Pokémon ever!" "They found a Pokémon over in Hoenn that's faster. Some kind of ninja bug thing." "But I bet that ninja bug thing isn't suited for beating Magnemites and their supporters!" "I think its previous form learns Dig." "But this Electrode has experience with the Bomb Ball Bashers! It's one of Ted Brotlov's Pokémon!" "Isn't Ted Brotlov's other Pokémon one of your *targets*?" "Yes, but his name's Scourge! That's a cool name!" Mr. Yortsed started to counter this, but stopped. After all, "Scourge" was indeed a pretty cool name. "Besides," Keith continued, "wouldn't it be ironic if the Pokémon I used to defeat Cyclonus was the one he once fought beside?" "I guess so," Mr. Yortsed said, now convinced that Keith had made the right decision. Irony AND a cool name? You just couldn't beat a combination like that. "Isn't anyone going to argue with *me*?" Mrs. Yortsed complained. She never got an answer, since Uli came back downstairs at that point. "I'm ready to go!" Uli said, showing off her packed-full backpack, which inexplicably bore the image of Brendan Birch. "Come on, Crosswise!" Crosswise breathed a sigh of relief. At least she would be there to provide guidance for Uli and keep her from getting into too much trouble. "You too, Rook!" "LE?!" Crosswise exclaimed at the mention of the Yortsed family's Minun. Rook's brand of guidance Uli didn't need. Not to mention that she frankly was scared to sleep when he was around, lest she wake up with an Egg or two or sixty. "Min!" Rook called as he jumped out of seemingly nowhere, landing perfectly on Uli's head. "Nun, nun," he continued, taking bows as if being applauded. Crosswise frowned, though the effect was lost because Plusles really aren't equipped for frowning. "Okay, you two, let's go," Uli said as she took the appropriate Pokéballs from a shelf and recalled Crosswise and Rook. "All right," Keith said, recalling Scourge and then Flare. "Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Yortsed!" "Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!" Uli called as she walked out the door, closely followed by Keith. The Yortseds answered, but what they said will forever remain a mystery because Keith closed the door behind him immediately. * "So, how are we going to find these two?" Uli asked her new partner. "I don't know about O'Reilly," Keith said, "but Cyclonus is technically a wild Electabuzz. So we can just use a Pokédex to search for wild Electabuzzes outside of the Power Plant." "Cool," Uli said. "And we're going to get this Pokédex by having me visit Professor Oak in Pallet Town and pretend to be a beginning Pokémon trainer, right?" "Uh... sure," Keith said. "We can do that. I mean, we're going to do that, since that's my plan, because I *did* think of that, and we're going to do it because it's much easier than any of the other alternatives. Nope, no hiding behind bushes and trying to rob passing trainers for us!" Uli wasn't fooled for an instant, but she said nothing. TBC