From: "STEFFAN HEDD ALUN"
Subject: [PW!] Packing For Hoenn
Date: Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:56 AM
Karl had spent the best part of the week packing for his proposed trip
abroad. He was in the process of packing his NES (because you never know
when you'll be bored in a room that contains a television) when Nomak, his
pet Farfetch'd, entered the room.
"Fah!" said Nomak, duck of few words.
"Hey, there, Nomak," said Karl. "Do you realise that, in a few days' time,
we'll all be GOING TO HOENN!" For some reason, Karl suddenly remembered to
pack his sunglasses.
"Feh," said Nomak simply.
"What's that?" asked Karl. "Ess should stay behind when we go to Hoenn?"
Nomak didn't reply. He didn't think it was worth his while to acknowledge a
man who'd simply repeated exactly what he'd just said with more syllables.
"Why shouldn't Ess come?"
"Because you don't LIKE him?" Karl was surprised. Ess was his S-shaped
Unown, nicknamed phonetically before doing so became mainstream.
"Farr," grinned Nomak.
"Iceduck doesn't like him EITHER?" Iceduck was Karl's Psyduck. The
nickname had seemed painfully cool at the time, but now it made him cringe
every time he heard it.
"Etchfar," said Nomak, treating his master to a rare two-syllable word.
"Is this all true?" asked Karl. "Or are you lying to hide your real reason
for leaving Ess behind?"
Karl became aware of a movement outside his window. He looked over.
"ESS!!" he double-exclaimed.
Ess was in a bad shape. Literally. The Unown, which had once been
S-shaped, was now bent into a painful-looking squiggle shape.
"What the- How- Why- Ess!" fragmented Karl. "Nomak, you get here RIGHT
Nomak, who had used the time Karl had been wasting on unnecessary syllables
to make his way into the living room, turned around Mareepishly.
"Did YOU do that?" Karl demanded, pointing to Ess, who was still suffering
"Etch!" exclaimed Nomak, with all the false dignity of a Gulpin at the
"Are you lying?" asked Karl, trying a new tactic.
"Fah," admitted Nomak. "Far."
"You were practicing your FENCING on him? I haven't got time for this! I
have to get to Olivine City by tomorrow, and you've misshapen Ess beyond all
"No, I will NOT solve the problem by changing his name to 'Squiggle'."
Nomak grinned. This was an unnerving sight considering that his beak
appeared to be permanently positioned where it was.
"Right. You go get Ess in here now. I'm going to finish packing. We'll
find someone to help Ess afterwards."
"Etch?" asked Nomak.
"After what? Don't you remember? We're all GOING TO HOENN!"
[NS: Yes, Karl has become a parody of himself. Basically, I'm mocking the
inexperienced fool who wrote about him originally.]