From: "STEFFAN HEDD ALUN" <sha3@aber.ac.uk> Subject: Re: [PW!] Pride and Prudence Date: Friday, May 14, 2004 8:55 AM "Chet Weaver - Chicks Dig Giant Robots" <zeroohki@netscape.net> wrote in message news:2gj5boF3fbqrU1@uni-berlin.de... > And then, one grey December mourn... > > "Oh, my dear Sophia," the imagined Joe lamented, referring to the > imaginary Lauren with the first name that popped into Keiko's head. "I > regret to report that we have naught but ten pence to our name." > > "Oh woe is us," the pretend Sophia mournfully swooned. "We haven't even > the money purchase a day-old loaf of bread. Oh, my dutiful Joe! > Whatever shall we do?" > > "There's not much we can do, I'm afraid," Joe wailed. "All there is to > do now is live here under this overpass and eat the Pokemon we have > strived so hard to keep alive at our own expense these many moons. Lo, > skin and bones they may be, but their ultimate sacrifice will be enough > to keep us alive for a few more weeks!" > > "No, Joe, no!" Sophia refused, shaking her hunger-worn comrade by the > shoulders. "I would sooner see our dear, sweet, adorable and loyal > Pokemon in the hands of another trainer than roasting on an open flame > to await digestion!" > > "Then that is what we shall do, my darling Sophia, who arbitrarily > becomes all the more beautiful as she suffers unjustly!" Joe proclaimed, > standing with a renewed spirit. "We shall go into town and sell our > Pokemon for whatever money we can! I daresay we may even trade them for > newer, better Pokemon that will finally rescue us from this near-death > experience and allow us to live the droll, uneventful lifestyle that so > many people take for granted these days! We might even be able to get a > Minun who would dramatically increase the power of our ailing Plusle, > which I'm sure is all we need to finally win some battles for a change!" > > "Plusle," their imaginary Plusle coughed as it hobbled by on crutches > and a broken leg. [NS: Good work, Tech! A very surprising turn, and very well implemented. Looks like you took what I said to heart. O:-)] > "I'll do it!" Keiko cried, inexplicably latching onto Lauren and weeping > openly into her chest. "I'll trade you my Minun for your Geodude! Just > promise me you won't eat the that poor, injured Plusle!" "Excellent!" said Lauren, wondering what Keiko could possibly mean by her final comment. Did naturists eat Pokémon? Walking around in the alltogether must mess with one's head, she reasoned. Diego picked up the Geodude, who tried to cling on to Keiko's leg. "Alas, sweet Density," he said. "The time has come for us to part ways. Though our journeys intertwined for but a fraction of our lives, we shall always have a part of each- DW!" Lauren had kicked him. "DW!?" asked Keiko, tilting her head in curiosity. "I meant OW!" explained Diego. "Right, then," said Lauren brightly, ever the professional. "Shall we go back to the Pokémon Centre to carry out the transaction?" "Sure," smiled Keiko, happy that she was helping out these poor souls. "Go on ahead. I'd like a few moments to say goodbye to Sparkler." *** The Mauville Cable Club was much more upmarket than Slateport's. Instead of the colourful logos and funky spelling, there was a posh, aristocratic air about the place. Lauren and Diego approached, and read the sign outside, which was written in long, loopy letters. "You are warmly welcomed to the Mauville Cable Club. We boast a long tradition of Pokémon trading. Kindly wait behind the counter to be served." After a few moments, a man wearing a suit and tails arrived. He wore white gloves and carried a small notebook and pen in his jacket pocket. "Good evening, sir, ma'am," he greeted pompously. "A trade for two, is it?" "Yes," said Lauren. "Right this way." "Oh, no," said Lauren. "Not for the two of us! No, no, no. We're not- You know. We're not." "I sincerely apologise, ma'am," said the man. At that moment, Keiko arrived. "Hey there," she smiled. "Are we ready to go?" The man behind the counter gave her a disapproving look; clearly, he didn't think the Cable Club was the place for such a tight T-shirt. He looked back to Lauren, smiling again - she, of course, was wearing a suit. A perfect client. He led Keiko and Lauren inside, Lauren pulling the Geodude's PokéBall roughly from Diego's hand as she passed. They were led to a trading machine. "Anything to drink?" asked the man. "No thankyou," said Lauren. "Glass of water alright?" asked Keiko. It had, after all, been some time since she'd last broken her thirst. "Of course," said the man. "That'll be eighty-five-" "For tap water?!" asked Keiko increduously. "We don't serve TAP water HERE, madam!" said the man indignantly. "Oh, alright," said Keiko. "I'm alright, then." The man walked away huffily. Lauren placed the PokéBall in the machine as Keiko did the same with Sparkler's. They were asked to confirm the trade, and Keiko almost had second thoughts, but remembered how desperate the pair must be to trade away such a beloved Pokémon. No use in being selfish now, she thought. She pressed the screen to confirm the trade. The PokéBalls were lifted into the machine, which hummed for a few seconds, then dropped the Balls onto the opposite sides. "Thankyou kindly!" grinned Lauren. "We hope you'll have a great life with that Geodude." The man serving returned and escorted them outside. He still seemed to be keeping a close watch on Keiko. Outside, Lauren parted ways with Keiko, and left the Centre with Diego. "I hope she'll be alright," sniffed Diego. "Oh, do shut up, Diego." "Can I ask the girl for her number? You know. So I can check up on Density now and again." "You are NOT getting a nakedist's phone number!" snapped Lauren. "They're weird. They get dressed in the middle of town and eat Pokémon. You're to leave her alone. We're better off making no further contact with her." Diego's eyes practically protruded from their sockets. His mouth was widening. He frowned. "She...eats...POKÉMON?" "I don't-" started Lauren, but too late. Diego had hurried back towards the Pokémon Centre. "NAKED OR NOT, NOBODY GETS TO EAT MY DENSITY!" he shouted. Several people who overheard misunderstood this, and went to find a place to throw up as Diego - closely followed by Lauren - rushed to find Keiko. TBC?