From: "STEFFAN HEDD ALUN" <sha3@aber.ac.uk> Subject: [PW!] Route 36 Lost Date: Thursday, January 15, 2004 9:18 PM Nature in all its beauty can be seen here. It's a place of tranquility. A place of peace. No buildings pollute the landscape. On the floor, lush, green grass. Not a single tree has been touched by humans. The gap in the trees forms a natural path, and children can often be seen here, sharing a picnic or playing games of Rockets and Monsters. "FAR!" screamed a raspy voice, similar to that of your worst nightmare. "Be quiet, Nomak," replied a softer voice, similar to that of a wet tissue. A lad was walking through the area known on maps as Route 36, but known to locals as paradise. Until now. "Feh," said the wild duck known as Nomak. "If you're not talking to me, how come you're talking to me?" asked Karl, the boy with the unenviable task of being at the receiving end of the glare of every human being within a mile's radius. "Etch," said Nomak. "Look, we'll soon be in Ecruteak. We can take a breather there." "FAR! FAR!" screamed Nomak. "I bloody well KNOW it's far," said Karl. "Ice," piped in a duck. The duck - a Psyduck - was named Iceduck. This was partly because of its dyslexia, meaning it pronounced the "psy" section of its name as "ice". Iceduck couldn't be holding with silent Ps. "Look, do you want to spend the rest of your journey in your PokéBalls?" "Far!" "Duck!" "...well, tough. They're at the bottom of my suitcase, and I'm not unpacking them now." "Duck phy," said Iceduck, taking another stab at the unpronouncable P. "I'm not taking a short-cut through the woods." "Puh-sy." "No! We're going to stay over at Ecruteak, and then we're going follow Route 38 to the west. We'll visit the farm there, so you can learn where we get our milk, and then we'll head south for Olivine in perfect safety." "Du-kuk," said Iceduck, having a go at the "ck" combination. "Nothing will change my mind," insisted Karl. "We're going to head north where there are no trees. We're not going to go clambering about in the forest on the off chance that there's a body of water or a female Farfetch'd there!" Karl became aware of an obstacle. "Hmm. A tree." "Far." "Cut it down for me, Nomak." "Far-far!" Nomak decided to use two syllables to communicate just how ludicrous the idea of manual labour was to him. "Cut it!" "Etch," Nomak reminded him. "What do you *mean*, 'I don't know how to Cut'? You cut up a crate of dad's candlesticks just this morning!" "Feh." "Recreation?! Give me that leek - I'll do it myself." Suddenly faced with a Hobson's choice, Farfetch'd attacked the tree. "NOW we're getting somewhere," grinned Karl. "Soooodowooooodo?" "Oh, poohsticks." TBC?