From: "Clayton" <redneckdadd@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [PW!][NC] So What If It's Not Canon? Date: Sunday, March 07, 2004 1:42 AM > Clayton wrote: > > Random Tagline: > > Load Torchic Cannon little Ralts! > > "Ready all cannons! OPEN FIRE!" > > As blasts echoed in the background, a magician whom Wardrobe had > forcibly stripped of the attire he had shown up in and dressed in a much > more conservative, and actually somewhat respectable, blue sports jacket > over a white shirt and slacks, held a hand to one ear and a microphone > to his mouth while wondering if they were serious about burning the > so-called "tacky" leisure suit. "Welcome, sports fans! If you're just > joining us, which you probably are since the network didn't want to > pre-empt the President's speech, we're live at the Pokemon Artillery > Contest. I'm Marvin the Magnificent, but you can just call me Marvin. > Or if you're a cute girl, just call me." > > His co-announcer managed not to roll his eyes. "And I'm Mike Smith. > So, Marvin, can you tell us a little about the history of this event?" > > 'And just stick to the facts,' flashed the producer's hastily written > sign offscreen behind Mike. > > Marvin sweatdropped, but made sure it was on the side of his head > facing away from the camera. "Sure. As some of our viewers already > know, wigglytuff weapons have been around for many years, pioneered by > Team Rocket but soon adopted by anyone needing explosives. There was a > time you couldn't walk five blocks without seeing someone carrying a > basic Wigglytuff Launcher, and the more advanced Wigglytank and > Wigglyjet designs have seen much use. > > "But since the opening up of Hoenn, Torchic Cannons have become all the > rage. Sales of Wigglyweapons have been in decline for the past year or > longer, depending on whose figures you follow. So, some of their > manufacturers decided to sponsor a public competition to find out which > is better: a Wigglytuff Cannon or a Torchic Cannon." > > Mike smiled in genuine relief that Marvin was sticking to the script. > "But there's lots of makes and models of cannon. They need some way to > make sure they're not pitting a Torchic BB Gun against a Wigglytank." > > "That they do," Marvin agreed. "They've carefully calibrated the > weapons to be used in today's exhibition for distance and projectile > size. Each cannon fires the same mass of torchic or wigglytuff with > the same muzzel velocity, to within five percent." > > "But this could give an unfair advantage to the Torchic Cannons," Mike > pointed out, "since torchics are naturally slimmer than wigglytuffs. > They'll need big, powerful torchics to compensate." > > "True, but remember that wigglytuffs are an evolved form." Marvin > checked the notes on their desk. "We have three events scheduled for > today, starting with a real earth-shaker!" > > "That's right." Mike's grin became more plastic as he faced the > camera so a graphic could be inserted in an upper corner of the > screen. "First off is the terrain clearing contest. Each cannon's > team has been assigned a stretch of forest one hundred meters wide by > two hundred fifty meters long, that together are slated to be used for > new construction afterwards. The teams will be judged on length of > time and number of shots needed to clear the area, evenness of the > resulting terrain, and minimal damage to the markers surronding the > area. This last one is expected to be tough for Team Torchic: their > explosions tend to start fires more readily than wigglytuffs, and a > spreading fire will mar the markers. But this fire means they can aim > higher than Team Wigglytuff and still clear away the trees, so they'll > have an easier time not leaving craters." > > The camera shifted to Marvin while Mike took a breath. "Next up is the > accuracy contest. Delibirds will drop thirty targets into the cleared > area. Whoever can hit them all fastest wins. Team Wigglytuff may have > a hard time hitting the targets if they land inside the craters they > made earlier, while the ash left in Team Torchic's area may make it > easier to spot their targets." > > A piece of paper was handed to Mike. "This just in: the third event has > been moved up to first. It is now the tank duel, Wigglytank versus > Torchictank. The goal is...who can run over the announcers first? Oh, > come on! We're on the air here; this is no time for pranks! Right, > Marvin?" > > Marvin wordlessly pulled a large cloth from nowhere and draped it over > the two. It seemed to whisk itself away with a tug from inside, > revealing no one sitting in the chairs which were soon overrun by one > pink and one red tank. > > TBC? (Probably not) (Probably so) In an underground laboratory, a figure could be seen working on a bazooka-like thing. If one could here the figure, they would hear him mutter about irritating brothers and Torchic Cannons. As Jeff worked on his new toy, he was thinking of trying to get the drop on his brother, and the look on his frostbit fasce if the weapon worked. With great care not to accidently fire the new weapon, Jeff took his new Spheal Launcher and proceded to hunt his brother down, and to demonstrate the might of his new Water/Ice Blaster! TBC (Doubt it!) ------- Clayton Random Tagline: Spheal Bombs ... AQUA's newest weapon!