From: "Clayton" <redneckdadd@yahoo.com> Subject: Re: [PW!][NC] The Earth Destruction Initiative Date: Sunday, March 07, 2004 3:09 AM "Newton P. Haights" <newhaights@aol.com> wrote in message news:c0mu1c$18m5oj$1@ID-134026.news.uni-berlin.de... > "MechaGojira - (Witty Phrase)" <jorgenospam@rocketpunch.net> wrote in > message news:c0etqg$1515ee$1@ID-219371.news.uni-berlin.de... > > "Adrian Tymes" <wingcat@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > news:T6CWb.22774$yB7.13826@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com... > > > Chet Weaver - YOUR HEAD A SPLODE wrote: > > > > MechaGojira - (Witty Phrase) wrote: > > > >> "Newton P. Haights" <newhaights@aol.com> wrote in message > > > >> news:c0dii8$14qgfq$1@ID-134026.news.uni-berlin.de... > > > >>> "Chet Weaver - YOUR HEAD A SPLODE" <nichirasu@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > > >>> news:c0ci80$13tmn7$1@ID-151984.news.uni-berlin.de... > > > >>>> Jose L. Solano wrote: > > > >>>>>> "Ultradan! You are... the only hope... for... Kanto!" > > > >>>>>> > > > >>>>>> The massive Blastoise turns his sights on our hero, Ultradan. Can this new > > > >>>>>> hero defeat the vile monster? Will his powers with an unexplained time limit > > > >>>>>> expire before he can win? Is PW! DOOMED!? > > > >>>>>> > > > >>>>>> *THUD* *THUD* > > > >>>>>> > > > >>>>>> > > > >>>>>> But wait!? Who is this *MYSTERY* ally of justice who hopes to aid Ultradan? > > > >>>>> > > > >>>>> Several miles away, too far for him to really know what's going on, Trent > > > >>>>> stands on the roof of some building with a dagger that is also a flute. He > > > >>>>> plays a snappy tune on it! > > > >>>>> > > > >>>>> A GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH RISES OUT OF THE SEA IN A COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SPOT. > > > >>> > > > >>>>> "Let us help Ultradan!" Trent shouts heroically. He jumps towards the GIANT > > > >>>>> ROBOT SANDSLASH, except it turns out he's about a mile away from it and since > > > >>>>> he can't jump more than a few feet, he just falls off the building and dies. > > > >>> > > > >>>>> What should have been Ultradan's new ally has gone out of control now that its > > > >>>>> master is dead! GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH charges blindly at Ultradan. > > > >>>>> > > > >>>>> Also, he was magically teleported to the place where Ultradan is. > > > >>>>> > > > >>>> > > > >>>> GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH's blind, Ultradan-oriented charge comes to a > > > >>>> sudden halt when the ground shakes. A giant, purple robot with big arms > > > >>>> and no head and apparently made from some sort of crystal erupts from > > > >>>> below the streets. Smasher, dressed in a snappy, black suit, uses the > > > >>>> grappling hook from his watch to quickly ascend the mighty mecha and > > > >>>> swings into a handy entry port. > > > >>>> > > > >>>> "It's showtime, Big Ohki!" Smasher declares as he hops into the pilot's > > > >>>> seat. The phrase, "Cast in the name of Goddish... ye not guilty," > > > >>>> scrolls across a monitor in front of him. "...And ACTION!" > > > >>> > > > >>> > > > >>> Big Ohki lines up for a punch, when suddenly GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH's > > > >>> anti-rampage measures take effect. It suddenly stops charging, and > > > >>> teleports back to its COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SPOT. > > > >>> > > > >>> Big Ohki's punch hits empty air, and Smasher rattles around in the mechanism > > > >>> as it crashes to the ground, taking out several random extras. > > > >>> > > > >>> ***Meanwhile, in some other COMPLETELY ARBITRARY TOWN, lets say > > > >>> CELADON...*** > > > >>> > > > >>> "...AND LUCKILY FOR ULTRADAN, THE _GIANT_ROBOT_SANDSLASH_ HAS JUST > > > >>> DISAPPEARED MIDRAMPAGE! HE STILL STANDS A CHANCE!" > > > >>> > > > >>> Andrew O'Reilly watches the newscast from the television set in the window > > > >>> of the department store. The scene, while definitely action-filled and full > > > >>> of suspense for most, doesn't interest him. Ever-optimistic, he knows it'll > > > >>> all work out in the end. He shrugs. > > > >>> > > > >>> "Meh." > > > >> > > > >> Oblivious the the happenings around him in the city of Tokyo, (in the grand > > > >> state of Kanto, Canada) Ultradan focuses on the task at hand: stopping the > > > >> giant Blastoise before he harms any innocents. Ultradan makes a mad dash for > > > >> the turtle Pokémon, tackling the behemoth and grappling his rugged shell. > > > >> The Blastoise sprays Ultradan with high pressure blasts of water, but they > > > >> are not enough to overcome the silver and crimson sentinel of justice, who > > > >> tries to wrestle the monster to the ground. As they struggle for several > > > >> minutes, Ultradan's Color Timer, the blue sphere on his chest, begins > > > >> blinking red! Ultradan is running low on power, and if he does not finish > > > >> the monster off now, he will surely perish! Ultradan looks at the Color > > > >> Timer, realizing that his methods are ineffective. He then remembers > > > >> that he has lasers. > > > >> > > > >> Powerful lasers, lasers at least a billion ZILLION times better than > > > >> hand to hand combat. > > > >> > > > >> Maybe even TWO billion zillion times better! > > > >> > > > >> With no time to spare, the silver and red hero charges his Ultradan Red Hot > > > >> Special Laser, only to have his Color Timer blink for the final time! The > > > >> guardian of peace falls to his knees, and then to the ground, turning gray > > > >> and leaving his enemy puzzled. The Blastoise begins chomping on the nearby > > > >> buildings, leaving the people at the ground level in terror. > > > >> > > > >> When suddenly, Lugia reappears. "Children.. The power lies in you! If you > > > >> put your hands together and make a wish... anything is possible! Only you > > > >> have the power to bring him back!" > > > >> > > > >> And so, the children of the Earth hold hands and make their wish. And from > > > >> each and every child, a golden glow appears, manifesting into a ball of > > > >> light, and joining with the other balls of light around the Earth, which > > > >> returns to Tokyo, and floats above Ultradan. Slowly, the ball descends upon > > > >> the fallen hero, about to restore his vitality. > > > >> > > > >> Until a draft of wind blows it away, and at Trent Retwin's splattered > > > >> corpse, restoring him to full life. > > > >> > > > >> "Well, I'm stumped," says Lugia, contemplating a stay in Johto. > > > >> > > > > "Looks like it's up to us, Big Ohki," Smasher declares. He begins > > > > flipping switches, turning dials, pushing buttons and pulling levers. > > > > "All right, let's go!" > > > > > > > > Big Ohki remains motionless. > > > > > > > > "Yo, Big Ohki, let's get a move on, huh?" > > > > > > > > Smasher kicks the monitor in front of him. It suddenly starts showing > > > > barcodes, which mesmerize him and cause him to mutter something about > > > > tomatoes. > > > > > > Meanwhile, Mimic giggled with glee as he rode the underside of > > > Blastoise's foot. This being NC, he didn't mind being a puddle of pink > > > goo, which was good, since little else could fit into the ridges that > > > separated parts of the bottom of the foot from the ground. He also > > > didn't have a nose to smell said foot bottom this way. Instead, he got > > > an up-close view of everything and everyone the giant monster stepped > > > upon, and watching so much destruction - even helping to cause it, a > > > little, by grinding up anything that was not completely destroyed - made > > > him feel good. > > > > > > TBC? > > > > The bacteria floating beneath the Blastoise and beneath Mimic suddenly gain > > sentience, finding an urge to discuss a few of the finer points of life. > > > > "So, I don't get these 'Pokémons', Steve." > > > > "Yeah?" > > > > "Well, are they supposed like replacements for animals, or do they coexist > > with animals? And if they don't coexist with animals, and the animals never > > existed, how can phrases like "Cat Pokémon" and "Tiny Turtle" be of any use > > to describe these Pokémons, if those animals never existed and weren't even > > named?" > > > > "I dunno, Earl. I dunno." > > > > As the two discuss this *excellent* topic, Blastoise approaches an > > antibiotics factory... > > *SPLAT* *SPLAT* > > "So as I was saying, Steve..." > > No response. > > "Steve?" > > Not hearing any response from Steve, Earl looked up and surveyed the > landscape that was Blastoise's foot. > > Death. Death and destruction as far as the eye could see. Thousands of > bacteria, wiped out in a heartbeat. > > "What happened? I...I must be a super-resistant strain...but...at what > cost?" Earl choked back sobs as the situation flooded his emotions. "WHY? > WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? TAKE ME, O LORD! STEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" > > ... > > Something clicks in Earl's head. He multiplies a few thousand times. > > "So anyway, as I was saying, Steve --" > > "I'm not Steve, I'm Joe." > > "Oh. As I was saying, Steve..." > Meanwhile in another COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SPOT ... "Bob, why can't we do something?" Jeff whined. "Because we don't have anything cool to use." Bob stated "What about that secret project that I know nothing about?" "That just might work." Bob clutched the Miracle Seed around his neck. Behind them, the ground split open revealing an ultra-modern lab carved in a dimensional subspace. A wicked cool robot in hunter green leaf-shaped armour holding a staff was standing at the ready. Bob was decked out in a plant-plate-steel armour that protected vital areas. Using a Vine Whip, Bob climbed into the Leafscythe "Remember Jeff, NC! I'll get you trained yet!" Bob said booting up the mech. Luckily it was using Linux and avoided the latest bugs. When it booted up, it teleported to ANOTHER COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SPOT so it could make a wicked cool entrance. Waiting for the cliched dramatic chord to play, Bob booted up the laser scythe blade on the staff's end, and continue to wait for the right moment to fire the jets and arrive in style. TBC ------- Clayton [NS: Why the hell not?]