From: "Newton P. Haights" <newhaights@aol.com> Subject: Re: [PW!][NC] The Earth Destruction Initiative Date: Saturday, February 14, 2004 11:53 PM "MechaGojira - (Witty Phrase)" <jorgenospam@rocketpunch.net> wrote in message news:c0etqg$1515ee$1@ID-219371.news.uni-berlin.de... > "Adrian Tymes" <wingcat@pacbell.net> wrote in message > news:T6CWb.22774$yB7.13826@newssvr27.news.prodigy.com... > > Chet Weaver - YOUR HEAD A SPLODE wrote: > > > MechaGojira - (Witty Phrase) wrote: > > >> "Newton P. Haights" <newhaights@aol.com> wrote in message > > >> news:c0dii8$14qgfq$1@ID-134026.news.uni-berlin.de... > > >>> "Chet Weaver - YOUR HEAD A SPLODE" <nichirasu@hotmail.com> wrote in > message > > >>> news:c0ci80$13tmn7$1@ID-151984.news.uni-berlin.de... > > >>>> Jose L. Solano wrote: > > >>>>>> "Ultradan! You are... the only hope... for... Kanto!" > > >>>>>> > > >>>>>> The massive Blastoise turns his sights on our hero, Ultradan. Can > > >>>>>> this > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> new > > >>> > > >>>>>> hero defeat the vile monster? Will his powers with an unexplained > > >>>>>> time > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> limit > > >>> > > >>>>>> expire before he can win? Is PW! DOOMED!? > > >>>>>> > > >>>>>> *THUD* *THUD* > > >>>>>> > > >>>>>> > > >>>>>> But wait!? Who is this *MYSTERY* ally of justice who hopes to aid > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> Ultradan? > > >>> > > >>>>>> > > >>>>> > > >>>>> > > >>>>> Several miles away, too far for him to really know what's going on, > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> Trent > > >>> > > >>>>> stands on the roof of some building with a dagger that is also a > > >> > > >> > > >> flute. > > >> > > >>> He > > >>> > > >>>>> plays a snappy tune on it! > > >>>>> > > >>>>> A GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH RISES OUT OF THE SEA IN A COMPLETELY > ARBITRARY > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> SPOT. > > >>> > > >>>>> "Let us help Ultradan!" Trent shouts heroically. He jumps towards > the > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> GIANT > > >>> > > >>>>> ROBOT SANDSLASH, except it turns out he's about a mile away from it > > >> > > >> > > >> and > > >> > > >>> since > > >>> > > >>>>> he can't jump more than a few feet, he just falls off the building > and > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> dies. > > >>> > > >>>>> What should have been Ultradan's new ally has gone out of control > now > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> that its > > >>> > > >>>>> master is dead! GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH charges blindly at Ultradan. > > >>>>> > > >>>>> Also, he was magically teleported to the place where Ultradan is. > > >>>>> > > >>>> > > >>>> GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH's blind, Ultradan-oriented charge comes to a > > >>>> sudden halt when the ground shakes. A giant, purple robot with big > > >>>> arms > > >>>> and no head and apparently made from some sort of crystal erupts from > > >>>> below the streets. Smasher, dressed in a snappy, black suit, uses > the > > >>>> grappling hook from his watch to quickly ascend the mighty mecha and > > >>>> swings into a handy entry port. > > >>>> > > >>>> "It's showtime, Big Ohki!" Smasher declares as he hops into the > pilot's > > >>>> seat. The phrase, "Cast in the name of Goddish... ye not guilty," > > >>>> scrolls across a monitor in front of him. "...And ACTION!" > > >>> > > >>> > > >>> Big Ohki lines up for a punch, when suddenly GIANT ROBOT SANDSLASH's > > >>> anti-rampage measures take effect. It suddenly stops charging, and > > >>> teleports back to its COMPLETELY ARBITRARY SPOT. > > >>> > > >>> Big Ohki's punch hits empty air, and Smasher rattles around in the > > >> > > >> > > >> mechanism > > >> > > >>> as it crashes to the ground, taking out several random extras. > > >>> > > >>> ***Meanwhile, in some other COMPLETELY ARBITRARY TOWN, lets say > > >>> CELADON...*** > > >>> > > >>> "...AND LUCKILY FOR ULTRADAN, THE _GIANT_ROBOT_SANDSLASH_ HAS JUST > > >>> DISAPPEARED MIDRAMPAGE! HE STILL STANDS A CHANCE!" > > >>> > > >>> Andrew O'Reilly watches the newscast from the television set in the > > >>> window > > >>> of the department store. The scene, while definitely action-filled > and > > >> > > >> > > >> full > > >> > > >>> of suspense for most, doesn't interest him. Ever-optimistic, he knows > > >> > > >> > > >> it'll > > >> > > >>> all work out in the end. He shrugs. > > >>> > > >>> "Meh." > > >>> > > >> > > >> > > >> Oblivious the the happenings around him in the city of Tokyo, (in the > > >> grand > > >> state of Kanto, Canada) Ultradan focuses on the task at hand: stopping > > >> the > > >> giant Blastoise before he harms any innocents. Ultradan makes a mad > > >> dash for > > >> the turtle Pokémon, tackling the behemoth and grappling his rugged > shell. > > >> The Blastoise sprays Ultradan with high pressure blasts of water, but > > >> they > > >> are not enough to overcome the silver and crimson sentinel of justice, > > >> who > > >> tries to wrestle the monster to the ground. As they struggle for > several > > >> minutes, Ultradan's Color Timer, the blue sphere on his chest, begins > > >> blinking red! Ultradan is running low on power, and if he does not > finish > > >> the monster off now, he will surely perish! Ultradan looks at the Color > > >> Timer, realizing that his methods are ineffective. He then remembers > > >> that he > > >> has lasers. > > >> > > >> > > >> Powerful lasers, lasers at least a billion ZILLION times better than > > >> hand to > > >> hand combat. > > >> > > >> > > >> Maybe even TWO billion zillion times better! > > >> > > >> With no time to spare, the silver and red hero charges his Ultradan > > >> Red Hot > > >> Special Laser, only to have his Color Timer blink for the final time! > The > > >> guardian of peace falls to his knees, and then to the ground, turning > > >> gray > > >> and leaving his enemy puzzled. The Blastoise begins chomping on the > > >> nearby > > >> buildings, leaving the people at the ground level in terror. > > >> > > >> When suddenly, Lugia reappears. "Children.. The power lies in you! If > > >> you > > >> put your hands together and make a wish... anything is possible! Only > you > > >> have the power to bring him back!" > > >> > > >> And so, the children of the Earth hold hands and make their wish. And > > >> from > > >> each and every child, a golden glow appears, manifesting into a ball of > > >> light, and joining with the other balls of light around the Earth, > which > > >> returns to Tokyo, and floats above Ultradan. Slowly, the ball descends > > >> upon > > >> the fallen hero, about to restore his vitality. > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> > > >> Until a draft of wind blows it away, and at Trent Retwin's splattered > > >> corpse, restoring him to full life. > > >> > > >> "Well, I'm stumped," says Lugia, contemplating a stay in Johto. > > >> > > > "Looks like it's up to us, Big Ohki," Smasher declares. He begins > > > flipping switches, turning dials, pushing buttons and pulling levers. > > > "All right, let's go!" > > > > > > Big Ohki remains motionless. > > > > > > "Yo, Big Ohki, let's get a move on, huh?" > > > > > > Smasher kicks the monitor in front of him. It suddenly starts showing > > > barcodes, which mesmerize him and cause him to mutter something about > > > tomatoes. > > > > Meanwhile, Mimic giggled with glee as he rode the underside of > > Blastoise's foot. This being NC, he didn't mind being a puddle of pink > > goo, which was good, since little else could fit into the ridges that > > separated parts of the bottom of the foot from the ground. He also > > didn't have a nose to smell said foot bottom this way. Instead, he got > > an up-close view of everything and everyone the giant monster stepped > > upon, and watching so much destruction - even helping to cause it, a > > little, by grinding up anything that was not completely destroyed - made > > him feel good. > > > > TBC? > > The bacteria floating beneath the Blastoise and beneath Mimic suddenly gain > sentience, finding an urge to discuss a few of the finer points of life. > > "So, I don't get these 'Pokémons', Steve." > > "Yeah?" > > "Well, are they supposed like replacements for animals, or do they coexist > with animals? And if they don't coexist with animals, and the animals never > existed, how can phrases like "Cat Pokémon" and "Tiny Turtle" be of any use > to describe these Pokémons, if those animals never existed and weren't even > named?" > > "I dunno, Earl. I dunno." > > As the two discuss this *excellent* topic, Blastoise approaches an > antibiotics factory... *SPLAT* *SPLAT* "So as I was saying, Steve..." No response. "Steve?" Not hearing any response from Steve, Earl looked up and surveyed the landscape that was Blastoise's foot. Death. Death and destruction as far as the eye could see. Thousands of bacteria, wiped out in a heartbeat. "What happened? I...I must be a super-resistant strain...but...at what cost?" Earl choked back sobs as the situation flooded his emotions. "WHY? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN? TAKE ME, O LORD! STEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" ... Something clicks in Earl's head. He multiplies a few thousand times. "So anyway, as I was saying, Steve --" "I'm not Steve, I'm Joe." "Oh. As I was saying, Steve..." TBC? -- <Super_User_2> does the X-box have a reset button? I didnt look at the store displays <Saber> no but it has a spot that says "smash here with hammer" TR Zenigame: you are awesome saber MaouStromIV: why would you spend hundreds of dollars on a console just to smash it with a hammer? Azure Haights: ... Exploding Orange: ... TR Zenigame: because SaBeR TR: Sigh Trent Retwin: Anyway... PillowShinigami: ... Exploding Orange: whoosh TR Zenigame: its xbox TR Zenigame: ;-);-);-)3333333333333 afk SaBeR TR: Who brought this one in? SaBeR TR: You're fucking FIRED.