From: "STEFFAN HEDD ALUN" <sha3@aber.ac.uk> Subject: [PW!] The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru Date: Monday, May 10, 2004 9:08 AM It was four o' clock in the morning. All was quiet in Cerulean City. Its citizens were asleep, save for those working night shifts at the Pokémon Centre and the PokéMart. "LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD!" Oh, and save for a man who wouldn't dare sleep within the confines of a city. "Shh, Loudred." Mike Smith was a fugitive. He'd heard very little concerning who was chasing him and what they were doing to investigate, but he knew enough; he knew he wasn't safe in the city. "LOUD! LOUD LOUD LOUD!" He was forced, therefore, to run from an enemy all but invisible, and to wander the streets and countryside, never knowing where danger lurked, never knowing whether the police were waiting for him. "Loudred, PLEASE! We have to remain hidden, and your shouting isn't helping." Accompanied only by a young Growlithe, eager to prove himself, a borrowed Smoochum, incapable of offering much protection, and a Loudred, the most valuable of the three. Loudred belonged to a very rich woman, and Mike would eventually have to return him to her in one piece. "LOUD LOUD LOUD!" "Right, I've had enough of this. We'll sleep here tonight." As he said this, Mike spotted a luxuriously decorated tent on the edge of the city. Curiously, he approached it. "Gypsies?" he asked softly. "Smooch," replied Smoochum, in spite of the fact that Mike couldn't understand any of his Pokémon. Growlithe sped forwards, as though to protect Mike should there be any trouble in the tent. Mike appreciated the sentiments, but knew that Growlithe wouldn't be wonderfully useful in a fight. Suddenly, they heard a voice from within. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru senses your approach," said a low, breathing voice. PokéWars!: Mike Smith "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru" Steffan Alun Mike froze. He looked around. "Do not be afraid," said the voice again. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru knows that you are troubled tonight." Mike's eyes widened. How could anyone know that? "Chum smoo smoochum chum chuh," offered Smoochum, suggesting that anyone wandering outside at four in the morning was bound to be troubled. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru invites you to enter his most sacred and magical home." "This tent?" asked Mike quietly, speaking for the first time. The voice didn't respond for a few seconds. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru senses your reservations." Mike gasped. "How did-" "Smooch!" exclaimed Smoochum. "Smoo chum cha chum chuh smoo smooch moo moochum!" She went on to explain that Mike's reservations for almost everything were the easiest things in the world to sense. The meaning of her speech was lost on Mike. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru sees things that mere mortals cannot," said the voice. "Things that have happened but have been forgotten. Things that are happening a long distance away. Things...that have yet to come to pass." Mike thought about this. He reached a decision. Mike entered the tent. The inside was more heavily decorated than the outside. The sides of the tent were plastered in gold trimmings and tapestries and charts and richly detailed diagrams of the human brain, the human body, the world, and many things that Mike couldn't work out. On the floor were seven or eight bean bags, and the air was heavy with smoke of some sort. In the middle of the tent stood a table, and on the table, a thick red blanket with golden edges covered something large and square. A box, maybe, thought Mike. And behind the table stood the source of the voice. Mike was quite surprised by the man. His face was wrinkled and scarred. Both his face and hair were grey, although the man looked no older than thirty. He wore long, purple robes, with a thick golden rope for a belt, and his hands were clasped together. For some reason, Mike was surprised that he had no facial hair. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru welcomes you to his most sacred and magical home," greeted the man. "Hello there...Guru," said Mike, unsure how to greet a psychic gypsy, or whatever this man was. The man looked surprised. "Oh, good sir," he said. "How you flatter me. I am not the Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru. I am merely a servant, an interpretor of his words and will. I have not a fraction of the power or wisdom of the Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru." "Oh," said Mike. He looked around. "So. Erm. Who IS this powerful and incredibly wise Guru?" The man paused for a second. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru has deemed you trustworthy," said the man. "He will make himself known to you so that you too may know of the power he and he alone possesses." The main held onto the red blanket in front of him. He breathed slowly. Then, with a sudden movement, he pulled the blanket away, revealing what was underneath. "Behold!" he announced, louder than Mike had heard him speak before. "The Wisdom! The Power! The Foresight! The Wise! And Incredibly Powerful! GURU!" Mike stared at what had been uncovered. It hadn't been a box underneath the blanket, as he'd suspected. It was an aquarium. It was only half-filled with water, so that the eyes of the Pokémon inside weren't submerged. "What IS that?" asked Mike. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru is a Clamperl," explained the man. "A Pokémon from far-away Hoenn. Most Clamperls are weak, of course, and possess only the ability to use water attacks and abilities and precious little else. The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru, however, is the most psychically powerful being to have ever existed upon these lands! He talks to me by sending signals straight into my mind and has taught me many, many things." "I see," said Mike, who didn't see at all. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru has sensed that you have a great destiny ahead of you," said the man. "He wishes to explain this to you, but first..." The man held out his hand. "You must show your faith in the Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru by paying him for his most sacred and magical advice." "Chum!" cried Smoochum. "I don't have much money," said Mike, fishing in his pockets. "I'm on the run, you see. I've been framed. Still, a little warning of things to come would be nice." He handed a few coins over to the man. "Sorry I don't have more, but still, it shows I believe him, right?" The man checked the money indignantly. "I expect so," he huffed. He then regained the air of mystique in his voice. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru believes that...you are...you are far from home." "Yes!" exclaimed Mike. "Yes! I'm from Goldenrod originally. In Johto." "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru senses that you have come here to escape. Are you...trying to get away from someone?" "Oh, wow!" said Mike. "Yes! Yes I am! I'm on the run from the police." "SMOOCHUM!" cried Smoochum increduously. Mike had JUST TOLD the man this. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru believes, however, that you did not commit the crimes for which you are being hunted." "Yes! You're right! I didn't!" Smoochum closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru will now predict your future." Mike leaned closer, not wanting to miss a single word. Smoochum opened her eyes again. This would be entertaining. "The First Prediction of the Wise and Powerful Guru is..." The man's eyes glazed over, and he spoke in a much deeper voice. "THOU SHALT MEET A TALL, DARK STRANGER!" Mike gasped. How could the future be so easy to read? Smoochum gasped. How could someone use such a clichéd prediction? "The Second Prediction of the Wise and Powerful Guru is..." Once again, the man's eyes glazed over, and he spoke in the same deep voice as before. "THOU SHALT JOURNEY FAR AND WIDE!" Mike gave a long whistle. Travel, eh? That'd be nice. "The Third Prediction of the Wise and Powerful Guru is..." Glazed eyes, deep voice. "THY PROBLEMS SHALT ALL BE SOLVED BY A FLASH OF LIGHT!" "Excellent!" said Mike, pounding the air. "Exactly what I wanted. All my problems solved. Great." "The Wise and Incredibly Powerful Guru must now rest," said the man. "You must leave his most sacred and magical home for the time being. Let us hope we meet again." "Certainly!" said Mike, who had been reassured greatly by the man's - or the Clamperl's - words. He left the tent, Growlithe at the front again, with a spring in his step. Smoochum, meanwhile, was still wondering whether the man in the tent had intentionally given useless predictions. TBC?