From: Sir Maximus
Subject: [PW!] Skag Saga Day Two.. Pewter
Date: Saturday, April 24, 1999 9:00 PM
Skag awoke to find himself sharing a sleeping bag with several wild
pokemon. "GAA!! No wonder I was having dreams like that! Get out!! OUT!" Skag
yelled as he chased away the pokemon. ".... ARRRGGHHH!!" Skag screamed,
realizing he could've easily captured them all.
"Nice one, dumbf*ck..."
"So nice of you to greet me in such a kind manner!" Skag replied sarcastically
the pokedex in his bag.
Skag collected his belongings and proceeded down the hill towards Pewter. The
trip was long and there wasn't a pokemon in sight. To make it worse, halfway
down the hill, Skag stepped on a frogg, slipped, and tumbled the rest of the
way. Skag got up painfully and looked around. "Well, here we are!" he groaned.
Pewter was not much different than it was when the Gym leader had left his gym
to go on some adventure. Skag walked through the streets, trying to find the
gym. "Because once I get 8 badges and become a pokemon master, I can use my
power to take over the universe!"
"Moron, yer talking to yourself again!" The pokedex whined from inside Skag's
pocket. It also couldn't help but notice how much Skag was gawking at
everyhting... and certain every ones. "Whatssamatter? You never see a girl
"Pipe down! How could you tell?" Skag said as he opened the pokedex.
"How the hell do you think I identify pokemon? With my non-existant p-" Skag
closed the pokedex before it could go on. "Hey! Stop doing that!" it retorted.
Skag had to ask, "Aren't you only supposed to talk when I open you?"
"Yeah, just like yer only smart when sleeping with slowbros, huh?" It replied
in a biting tone.
"Shut up..." Skag replied.
"Heh. Anyway, about the ladies... I bet I could hook you up EASILY" The
pokedex muttered confidently.
"You just hold me in front of your face and youve got it made! AHAHAHA!!"
Skag put the pokedex back in his pocket and growled. He could still hear its
muffled laugh. But before he could do anything, it Pewter gym hit him... and
not in the nice, "oh there it is" way. Skag picked himself up and rubbed his
now aching nose.
"Ahh... there it is. The Pewter Gym..." Skag grinned, knowing he was one step
closer to world domination. The interior of the gym was darkly lit and there
were lots of boulders scattered about. "HEL-LOOOOOOO!!" Skag yelled at the top
of his lungs. His voice echoed throughout the gym.
"Hey! Quiet down, I'm right here!"
Skag looked surprised, "Hey, that one sounded different"
"Thats cuz it WAS different you idiot!" the pokedex's voice was muffled and
had no echo. Skag's eyes got used to the dark and saw that he was standing a
good 10 feet away from the trainer. It was Brock! Skag had heard about his
travels in "Pokemon Monthly" magazine. He was voted most eligible bachelor
and owner of a prize-winning vulpix.
Brock interrupted Skag's daydream, "I'm guessing you came to challenge me."
"You bet I am!" Skag said as he took out his pokeball, "Prepare to be rocked!
KRAPPY, GOOOO!!!" With a burst of light, the krabby appeared on the gym floor,
its mouth foaming with fury.
"No problem..." Brock muttered as he took out one of his pokemon, "GOOO ONIX!"
Only after the ball hit the floor, after the bright light, after the rock
pokemon's bellowing roar, only after that did Skag realize...
"MOR-ROOOON! Crap Face over there uses water attacks! Rock pokemon are weak
against water!" Skag's pokedex shouted.
Skag's face lit up like a pikachu, "YOU'RE RIGHT! Krappy, Bubble attack!!"
Krappy's mouth foamed, and suddenly, a stream of bubbles shot out and hit the
Onix like a machine gun. Onix flinched, but he quickly recovered and he was
"Onix, bind attack!" Brock barked. Onix quickly wrapped itself around Krappy
before he could even react. Within moments, Krappy fainted under the
onslaught. "Onix, let him go... return!" Brock called Onix back. Skag did the
same with Krappy, a worried look on his face. "Don't worry about your krabby,
there's a pokemon center a couple blocks from here. Better luck next time."
Skag realized how sad he must've looked by the way Brock talked to him. He
composed himself and shot back.
"I know where it is, and you'd better hope you aren't here next time...
because I'll open up a can of whoopass and burn this whole gym down with my
"Wha? Of course I'm going to be here next time, I'm the gym leader!" Brock
replied looking confused. Skag realized that he had humiliated himself once
again, and headed out. His pokedex could only offer one word of comfort:
Next time: The world in exchange for dignity OR dignity in exchange for the
Pokedex:"Aren't those the same thing?"
Fortrus Maximus, Why go anywhere else? (Shall I list the reasons?)
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lab/2648/index.html (moving soon)
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