From: Roberto Perez-Vila
Subject: [PW!] Is it Quiz Time? False! Wait! I mean True!
Date: Friday, May 07, 1999 3:17 PM
Robert swings open the door to the Cinnabar Island Gym. The interior is
a small room painted in red, orange, and ochre shades with sconces
lighting up the area, Blaine no where to be found. Instead, a large
contraption is set up right next to a large metal door. Robert looks
around, "Where's that old guy I fought last time? Did they change this
place around?"
Mithril-rama looks around, trying to bring back memories from the last
time they were here. "I think that there's a whole bunch of small rooms
like this one before the large room where the Gym Leader is at."
"That's weird. I wonder why we didn't go through this last time...
Robert's eyes show a sense of distraction, as he tries to recall events
from the past to the best of his ability.
* Flashback *
The two trainers walk around the Island until they find themselves in
front of the Cinnabar Island Gym. They walk inside to notice that the
walls are painted in the colors of fire. The room that Robert,
Mithril-rama, and Electabuzz stand in has an odd looking machine next to
a door. A Pokemon Trainer walks up to Robert and says, "Welcome to the
Cinnabar Island Gym! The Gym Leader here is called Blaine. We specialize
in Fire Pokemon, but I'm sure you already knew that. Usually, I'd give
you a quiz... If you'd get the answer right, you'd go on to the next
room, and if you'd get the answer wrong, you'd have battle me, but some
really weird trainer just blasted through here, getting all the
questions wrong. The Pokemon of the Trainers in this Gym are all pooped!
You can go straight to Blaine."
Robert smiles at his good fortune, "Thank you, sir!"
* End of Flashback *
"Hmm... Guido..." Robert utters to himself, surprised at how much he can
remember from the last time he was here.
Mithril-rama glances at Robert, but decides not to ask. "So, what are we
waiting for? Let's go to the next room!"
"Right!" Robert walks up to the steel door and confronts a new
complication - there's no doorknob on it! He tries to push the door
open, slide it up, slide it down, and even pull it. It doesn't move.
"What the heck?!"
Mithril-rama walks over to the hulking machine next to the steel door.
"Maybe this unlocks the door?"
"Perhaps." Robert steps up to the machine and pushes a large green
button. The contraption begins to hum as it processes some information.
A large monitor on the machine lights up, and the computer speaks:
"Pokemon Quiz! Get it right and the door opens to the next room! Get it
wrong and face a trainer! If you want to conserve your Pokemon for the
Gym Leader... Then get it right! Here we go! Caterpie evolves into
Butterfree?"
Robert's eye twitches just a little, "Those horrid bugs! AHHH! I faced
so many of them in my trip through the accursed Viridian Forest, that
it's quite obvious to me that Caterpie does NOT evolve into
Butterfree... Instead, it evolves into this weird green thing that
doesn't attack or do anything other than scare the daylights out of me!
Most definitely... False!" Robert hits a large red button that has
"FALSE" printed on it in large yellow letters... Nothing happens.
"Well? Isn't the door supposed to open?" Robert taps his foot, and
Mithril-rama stares at the steel door.
After some processing, the voice from within the machine shouts out,
"Sorry! Bad call!" Whirring is heard coming from the ceiling, as it
slowly opens up... A deep voice is heard from above, coming from a man
being lowered on a platform: "I was a thief, but I became straight as a
trainer!" The computer next to the door begins blasting out some loud
battle music!
Robert places his hand on his chin, "Hmm... a thief... and became
straight as a trainer... Hmm... Is that a riddle?"
"Wrong again!" The man grabs a Pokeball. "One on one. If you win, you
can head into the next room. If you lose, you're outta here! I'm using
my strongest Pokemon!" He tosses his Pokeball first, "Go, Ninetales!"
When the Pokeball hits the floor, it opens up. After a flash of red
light, a majestic white-yellow fox sits in the middle of the room,
licking it's paw.
Robert chuckles as he reaches for his third Pokeball, "That thing
doesn't look very tough." He simply drops his Pokeball on the floor in
front of him, and Graveler emerges. The giant boulder grunts, "GRAV!
Graveler!"
The converted burglar points at Robert's Graveler, "Ninetales, Roar!"
Robert laughs upon hearing this command, "That thing? I bet it can't
even squeak... How can it Roar?"
The Ninetales slowly opens up its tiny mouth and chirps,
"nine...nine..." It gathers up oxygen in its lungs and its mouth opens
up very wide, "TAAAAAAAAALES!" The hideous belch forces Graveler to back
away slowly from the beautiful and very loud fox creature, holding his
rocky arms up in front of him.
"Hey, Graveler! Stick in there! Use your Rock Slide!" Robert stands with
his arms crossed.
Graveler, being the loyal Pokemon that he is, pulls his arms in closely,
and rolls himself up to a point where it would be difficult to tell the
difference between the actual Pokemon and a large scaly gray boulder! He
then heaves his massive body forward, sliding across the Gym's floor!
"GRAVELER!" CRASH! The hit sends the trainer's Ninetales to the ground!
The fox struggles for a moment, but manages to get back up again.
The burglar, undaunted, shouts another command, "Ninetales,
Flamethrower!" The creature opens up its tiny mouth and from within its
inner bowels, spews a huge blast of flame at Graveler! Despite all
logic, Graveler actually catches on fire, and begins to stomp around,
not knowing how to put out the blaze.
Robert remembers Aiya's advice to her Venonat when his Charmeleon set it
on fire, and he recites it to the best of his memory, "Graveler! Stop,
Drop, and Slide! Was that it?"
Graveler knows that he should follow his trainer's every order, and
stops in his tracks. He then drops on the floor, rolls up into an
indistinguishable mass of rock, and slides straight for the already weak
Ninetales! The Ninetales tries to dodge the attack, but is too slow to
react, and get knocked so hard that it hits the back wall of the
enclosed room! Graveler stands up and opens his eyes, noticing his
victory. He grunts, "Graveler! Grav!" The victory is temporary, however,
since he realizes that he is still on fire! "GRAVELER!"
Robert cheers and reaches for Graveler's Pokeball, "Thanks, Graveler!
I'll get you to a Pokemon Center after I earn my badge!" He extends the
Pokeball forward and Graveler allows himself to be sucked in.
The former burglar runs up to his hurt Ninetales and hugs it, "I
surrender!"
Robert sees the steel door open up and smiles at Mithril-rama, "Onward
to the next room!"
The next room is more spacious than the last room, but looks exactly the
same in terms of color. Two nerdy people stand together in a corner,
chatting away about irrelevant scientific issues. When Robert spots the
machine in this room, he runs right up to it and hits the button which
initiates the program. The new computer also speaks:
"Pokemon Quiz! Get it right and the door opens to the next room! Get it
wrong and face a trainer! If you want to conserve your Pokemon for the
Gym Leader... " The computer drones on and on.
Robert frowns in the general direction of the computer, "Yadda Yadda
Yadda! Get on with it!"
The computer, completely oblivious to Robert's comments, goes on: "Then
get it right! Here we go! There are 9 certified Pokemon League Badges?"
Robert stares at the large monitor riddled with question marks. "Hmmm...
Hmm. Okay, I have four badges." Robert looks down at his shirt and
smiles at his own previous accomplishments, "Then there's this badge I'm
trying to get now, the one I haven't gotten from Lt. Surge, the one I
still need to get from the Saffron City Gym... and... how many more? Oh
yeah! There's the Viridian City one... So I guess that's eight..."
As Robert reaches down to hit the "FALSE" button again, he stops his
finger before it makes contact. "Wait a minute! I remember hearing
someone in Lavender Town talk about a Testing Center where you could get
an official Pokemon League Badge of some sort that counts the same as
all eight Badges acquired through Gym matches... So there IS nine! Ha,
they thought they'd get me on the trick question... but I'm too quick
for their tricks!" Robert his the "TRUE" button...
After some processing, the voice from within the machine shouts out,
"Sorry! Bad call!"
One of the nerds chatting away in the corner overhears the computer
declare that the question was answered incorrectly. The skinny, lanky,
guy with glasses walks up to Robert, "You can't win! I have studied
Pokemon totally!"
"Are you challenging me to a battle?" Robert raises an eyebrow.
"Quite! One on one. After careful calculations, I have decided to send
out my Level 34 Charmander!" The guy reaches into his coat pocket and
awkwardly throws a Pokeball on the floor. A cute orange Charmander
materializes before everyone, and yawns, "Chaaaaaar!" It goes on to
scratch its bald head. "Char?"
Robert shakes his head with a smirk on his face, "A Charmander? Geeze,
this is going to be too easy! Time to see who's the superior fire
Pokemon!" Robert grabs the sixth Pokeball on his belt, "Charmeleon, go!"
The Pokeball hits the ground and a sexy royal blue Golduck pops up
instead of Charmeleon. She grabs her own elongated tail in her hand and
spins around the very end of it. She bats her eyes over at Charmeleon
and quacks in a raspy voice, "Golduck... duck..." She chuckles and looks
back at Robert, "Gold?"
Robert slaps his forehead, "That's right! I exchanged Charmeleon for
Golduck! Well, it doesn't matter... She's a Water Pokemon! Okay,
Golduck, start off with your Disable move!"
Golduck nods her head and her normally ruby red eyes glow a shade of
deep blue. "Gol..." She raises her arms up high, the rest of her body
fully exposed, "...duck!" There is a flash of blue, but nothing else.
"That's Disable?" Robert squints his eyes, "That was just plain stupid!"
The geeky teenager looks down at his Charmander, "Okay, Charmander,
Slash the Golduck!" The Charmander tries to raise its arm, but finds
that it is stuck in the position that it is currently in. "Charman?
Mander char?"
Robert laughs out loud, "Oh yeah! Disable makes it so your Pokemon can't
use a certain move! Tough luck! Alright, Golduck, one Surf should be
enough!"
Golduck laughs the way Robert does, then opens up her long gray beak,
ready to blast water at the Charmander. Raindrops begin to fall inside
the room, and Charmander's flame begins to form steam around it.
The very studious individual snorts, "Charmander, use Rage!"
"Rage?" Robert looks slightly confused, "What's that? I don't think
Charmeleon knows that move yet..."
Despite the rain, the Charmander runs up to Golduck and bashes the top
of its head into Golduck's thin tummy! As, she falls to the floor, a
huge geyser of water gushes out of her beak, but it flies up to the
ceiling, where it can't hurt the Charmander. The trainer's Pokemon
raises up its tiny claw and begins to claw away at Golduck's stubby
legs!
Golduck cries out in pain, and attempts to get up. On the way up,
however, she slips on a puddle caused by the indoor drizzle her own Surf
attack created! She rubs her aching head, "Gol Gol Gol...Duck!"
The chemistry student's Charmander doesn't give up its Rage move. It
kicks, punches, bites, and spits out flames... Anything it can do to
defeat the fallen Golduck! Golduck struggles around while the pain is
inflicted, until she trips one too many times, and faints on the way
down! Robert sighs as he recalls her into her corresponding Pokeball.
"You lose." The boastful nerd gleams his crooked teeth and casts his
glance over towards his friend, who has been watching from the
sidelines, "Let's get these two out of here!"
While Robert and Rilli are more than glad to comply with leaving on
their own in order to not form a scene, the two study buddies forcibly
take them outside, toss them through the doors of the Cinnabar Gym, and
say in unison, "So long, suckers!" They laugh together and slam the
doors shut.
Robert looks at Mithril-rama, somewhat disheartened. "Aww man! I was so
sure that the answers I gave were right! I guess I'll never be smart
enough to earn that badge... lousy quizzes."
Mithril-rama doesn't know exactly what to say, and just hugs him
closely.
Robert ponders how to win the badge the next time he tries. While he is
still hugging Rilli, he begins chuckling, "You know what would be the
perfect thing? If there was some way that you could put your mind into
my body and I could put my mind into your body. Then you could take the
quiz for me, since you're so smart! Of course, we'd have to have some
way to switch back upon reaching the Gym Leader, because I would feel
bad if I didn't earn the badge myself! Pretty neat plan, huh? Too bad
it's just a dream... er, an unrealizable idea! Yeah... that's it..."
Robert smiles and sweatdrops.
-Robert