From: JSolano199 <jsolano199@aol.combomeal> Subject: [PW!] Odd job (It's not what you think you pervert!) Date: Saturday, May 15, 1999 3:29 PM (After Trent Retwin finally regained his right arm, he returns to his job as a bounty hunter) "Alright, you owe me $500." "SLASH?!!" "Yeah, I own Park place!" "SANDSLASH!!" "Alright, so it's a tax!!" (Er...maybe he will later. *AHEM*) "We're busy!!" (*AHEM*) "Oh alright!! Sandslash, I still own every property except B and O railroad, GOT IT?!" "Slash..." "Now let's see, what does the newest guild bulletin board say..." Trent walked over to the cork board inside the Bounty Hunter's Guild HQ. "What's this?! $50,000 for the assassination of Mr. Robert Pine? I'll take it!" Quickly he ran out, with Sandslash behind him. He followed the address exactly. He found Pine lived in a penthouse. He looked through the skylight. "Sand sand slash slash sand slash slash!!" "Hey, we're working right now, deal with it later!" "SAND SAND!!" "Fine, you can be the dog next time..." "SLASH!!" Trent let Gengar sneak in to see if anyone was there. Nobody but an old man eating a big chunk of cheese behind a desk. According to the photo, this was Pine. "Sandslash, cut a hole through the window!" "Slash..." "Fine, I'll get a glass cutter next time, just do it!" Sandslash broke through the window and fell in, spinning into a ball on his way down. Trent jumped in after him. "Nice job, Jynx..." "SLASH!" "QUIET! Are you Rob Pine?" "Ay, that name doth belong to me." "Huh?" "I am Robert Pine. How may I be of service?" "Uh, I'm here to kill you." Just now Sandslash realised why Trent went out and said it- Pine had posted the bounty. "Thou shalt put me out of thy misery, as fast as the marathon heeds." "What?" "Slay me now, good bounty hunter!" Trent couldn't resist laughing at him. A short old fat guy, bald, wearing a monocle, eating a giant chunk of cheese, speaking in old English. "Dost thou see me as a jest?!" "Hehehe...sorry. Sandslash, would you do the honors?" "Slash." "Why not?" "Sandslash." "Fine, I'll stop buying every single property." "Sandslash?" "Look will you forget about it?!" "SLASH!" "Fine. I'd bet Nidoking would be more obediant. Nidoking, go for the jugular!" Pine stopped him. "No, brave bounty hunter, the maid will surely find the mess you leaveth!" "Er, fine, Nidoking, here's a bib. Just eat him." "NIDO!!" "What? Why not!!" "NIDO KING!!" Nidoking charged through the window and fell. Trent went over to look, to find Nidoking had killed himself, taking a few pedestrians with him. "Sandslash, did you tell him stories about me again?!" "SLASH!! SLASH!!!" "If you tell one more Pokemon any of your little stories I'll make you watch Wing Commander, the Mummy, AND Titanic, 3 times each and non-stop!!" "SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSH!!!!" "Pardon me, but are you not to slay me?" "Oh yeah. How's this?" Trent picked him up, ready to throw him out the window. "SOFT!!! I must finished eating this cheese." Pine kept eating the giant chunk of cheese. "Hey, why ARE you eating a giant chunk of cheese?" "I am head of the Krapht Company!" "Kraft?" "No, Krapht. We also make Mannon yogurt and Cheese Fizz." "So, why do you want me to kill you?" "Because I am an idiot. The money is in the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet. Ah, I am finished eating this fine cheese. Now, brave bounty hunter, you may do my bidding!" "Fine." Trent threw him off. Pine splattered on the floor, next to Nidoking. "Now to get the money...it's locked. Sandslash, see if you can find a key in the desk." "Slash." "Alright, then I'll make you watch Wing Commander, The Mummy, Titanic, AND every known episode of Cow and Chicken!!" "SANDSLASH!!" Sandslash quickly began to search the desk. He found nothing. "Check the rest of the room." "Slash..." "Fine, I'll make you watch Wing-" "SANDSLASH!! SANDSLASH..." Sandslash searched for the key some more. Nothing. A knock came on the door. "Mr. Pine, sir, you have a call from the president of the Mack in the Box company, Mr. Mack himself." Trent had no idea what to say. He kept trying to open the cabinet. "Mr. Pine?" "Uh, just oneth minuteth" Trent replied, trying to sound like Pine. "Alright, Mr. Pine." Trent calmed down. "Alright, Sandslash, you can-" "Oh, Mr. Pine, the pro football team you bought yesterday is here to see you." "Waiteth!!!" "Are you locked?" "Noeth, I am fineth." "We have a locksmith here, sir." "No, I can waiteth until latereth." "But it's time for your sponge bath!" "Um...that be alright, I'll just goeth being dirtieth..." The locksmith got to work... "Sandslash, thanks a lot!! You got me into some pretty deep shit!" "SANDSLASH?!" "Yeah, and now I'm going to get my ass kicked! DAMMIT!!" Jose Luis Solano --------------------------------------- "Damn newbies..." -------------------------------------- Official Member of the AFSH Stupid Brigade --------------------------------------- http://yoda.pagehub.com