From: Roberto Perez-Vila
Subject: [PW!] Robert is Alone Once Again
Date: Friday, May 14, 1999 9:15 PM
Robert walks towards the northern beach of Cinnabar Island. On the way
there, he shudders in the general direction of the Cinnabar Island Gym.
When he finally arrives at the warm sands, he sits down to contemplate.
The contemplation period is cut short by some strange noises. He squints
his eyes in a certain direction and sees what is causing this commotion:
two Slowpoke of opposite genders in some sort of ritual. They both stare
at each other aimlessly. "Nature's a beautiful thing... isn't it...?"
Robert glances towards his right, only to remember that Mithril-rama
isn't there to add to any of his comments. "Hmmph." He stands up and
heads towards the shore.
Robert looks down at the Pokeballs on his belt. "I think I'll use
Slowbro... I just wouldn't feel right surfing on top of Golduck...It
would be too... weird." Within seconds, the fifth Pokeball on Robert's
belt is yanked off and thrown onto the shore. Slowbro emerges and
marches off into the sea, already aware of why Robert called him.
Water... and more water... and still more water. Robert leans up against
the Shellder on Slowbro's tail as the Pokemon glides northward across
the sea, passing over the dreaded Cinnabar Triangle which was said to
bring about odd natural occurrences. On none of his past trips across
this patch of water had Robert found anything out of the ordinary. This
voyage isn't any different. The time spent sailing northward is so
horribly unexciting, that by the time Slowbro arrives the southern
shores of Pallet Town, Robert has been completely knocked back into his
serious stupor of a personality.
"It's about time. That took..." Robert glances into his watch, "A little
under two hours? Not bad, Slowbro."
Slowbro grins wider than usual, "Ahhh... Slow Slow...Slow bro!"
"That's about enough of that." Robert grabs Slowbro's Pokeball, sucks
him back in, and places the ball on his belt. The first thing that
Robert casts his eyes upon is Professor Oak's Lab. There seems to be
commotion around that area. Not wanting to deal with other people by
himself, he avoids the very visible landmark.
The second thing that Robert notices is a short, black haired girl in
the distance. She reminds Robert of Mithril-rama... In fact, she looks
almost exactly like her. "What's this?" Robert is curious, so he sneaks
up closer and closer to the girl in the distance... As he gets closer,
she looks more and more like Rilli. "Could it be? Maybe RK only needed
her for an hour and she already flew back... It's possible... Rilli!
Robert begins a mad dash towards the girl, and eventually stops right in
front of her. Much to his surprise, it IS, indeed, Mithril-rama, after
all! Robert smiles and hugs her, but she doesn't hug back. "Oh, Rilli,
I'm so glad to see you again! The trip from Cinnabar Island was toooo
boring! I can't stand to be without you!"
Mithril-rama returns the smile and whispers, "I can't stand to be
without you, toooo!"
Robert's heart skips a beat. "No... It can't be..." He backs away from
"Wait up!" She cries out, sounding very excited, "I'm glad to be boring!
Can't you see?"
The world comes crashing down before Robert. First, he feels gullible.
He feels like a sap. This emotion is quickly drowned out by sadness...
And just as Mithril-rama melts down to the form of a happy purple Ditto,
Robert's sadness melts down to acceptance mixed with slight perversion.
"Hey, little guy...I'll stop trying to catch you if you turn into Rilli
for the rest of the day and walk around with me... Will you do that for
The simple facial expression on the silly Ditto looks as perplexed as it
can be. After some consideration, it wiggles its body in a motion that
implies an affirmative response.
"Really?!" Robert's eyes light up, "Okay... Transform now!"
The Ditto shimmers in a white light and begins to expand it's body... It
continues to expand until it sets on a feminine form. A feminine form
that is slightly taller than Robert. When the white light fades, the
exact replica of a woman stands where the Ditto once stood - a replica
of Bambi, Jeremy's blue-haired, green-eyed bimbo. Even the clothing
matches exactly - a tight pink shirt, light blue short shorts, and
yellow flip flops on her feet.
Robert's eyelids drop and one of his eyes begins to twitch. His
acceptance suddenly transforms itself into a gargantuan surge of anger
and hatred, "ARRRGH! You stupid Pokemon! Ca't you do anything right?!
Take this!" Robert pulls back a clenched fist and slams it with full
force straight into Bambi's innocent wide-eyed face! The fist goes right
through the girl's countenance, and lodges itself, quite literally,
inside Bambi's head, right where a skull should be... The Ditto's oozy
form keeps Robert's hand in place, stuck within Bambi's now crushed
Robert is surprised at his own horrendous action as he stares into
Bambi's distorted face. "I...did this?" Robert pulls his fist away from
Bambi and falls to the ground. Bambi, her face still imprinted with
Robert's knuckles, jumps on top of Robert and begins to force herself
"NOOOO!" Robert tries to push Bambi off of him, but wherever he pushes,
his hand gets implanted into Bambi's body. Soon, Bambi is no longer
there... just a giant pile of flesh colored goop sprawled out on top of
Robert struggles for a Pokeball on his belt... any Pokeball at all. He
grabs the sixth one by coincidence and tosses it out... The female
Golduck appears, just about as curvy, if not as tall as, the Bambi which
the Ditto pretended to be. Robert shouts out, "Get this thing off of
Golduck quacks, "Duck!" She places her flipper hands onto the temples on
her head. "Gol... Gol... GOLDUCK!" A confusion blast is shot out at the
Ditto, but having very poor aim, the blast hits Robert as well! Ditto
melts away from Robert and slides into the bushes, in search of someone
else to play with.
Robert stands up and dances around like a ballerina, "Ahhh! Golduck,
confused you me! Dare how you such a thing do?!" He begins spinning
around with his arms outstretched, and he hits his Golduck in his
frenzy... She falls onto the ground, struggles to get up, but due to
sheer clumsiness trips on her own webbed feet and crashes into the
confused Robert. Robert's confusion combined with Golduck's clumsiness
is a ridiculous sight to see. Fortunately, no one is watching the
spectacle... Or is someone watching it from a distance?