From: SimynLocke <simynlocke@aol.comJOEMAMA> Subject: [PW!] The Out of Bag Experience! Date: Tuesday, May 18, 1999 9:34 AM If you were to see your very own body lying motionless on a lab table, through a different pair of eyes, it might just very well freak you out. But Simon just floated there, staring down at his physical self, paperbag and all. Three hours ago, when he had first risen out of his material self, Simon thought he was dead. When he failed to go up to heaven, or down to hell, he just stared at his body blankly. His repeated attempts to jump back in his being only failed, and now he just floated over the lab... "DAMMIT!" Simon yelled into space, but not expecting anybody to hear. He flew through some walls, pass some scientist with their experiments and such. Finally he reached the security room. >"Mimic, we just want you to know how much we appreciate your help." One of the Rockets said. >"Mimic like to help, you nice to Mimic so Mimic help. Mimic no like mean people." Simon flew in front of Mimic's face, "Mimic! Those guys are ROCKETS! Don't let them in here! They'll learn the security and steal everything!" Simon waited for any kind of response, but got none at all. "Awwww dammit....." Out of curiosity, Simon flew to the outside of Oak's Lab, where some really really horny couple were going at it in the grass. >"Aerie, are you sure you're feeling okay?" The male said psychically. "Tyte, I can hear psychic conversations....." Simon said to his ghost self. >"I feel fine. Please...I don't want to talk about that anymore." "Awww com'on Aerie! Talk about it some'more!" Instead of answering Simon's ghost, the couple just started gettin Jiggy wid it. "Woooo hooooo!" Simon laughed, as the couple started kissing and feeling each other. "Uh oh.... Ick! I'm outta here." Amazed by his abilities, he took off to no where. He flew all the way to Viridian in just a thought, as he approached the Viridian Gym. "Hehe.... now to spy on some Rockets." Simon floated to the large doors, and just when he was about to pass through them some Rockets came running out. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" They screamed, and ran straight through Simon. A rabid Diglett left it's trail in the ground as it followed. "Hehe....... aight." A lone trainer stood in the doorway, obviously not a Rocket. He looked sad, like he really missed somebody. The sight of him depressed Simon, so he tried blocking off the memory and flew right passed him. Simon glided through the main entrance, expecting to find a secret Rocket Hideout, but instead only found Pokemon training rooms. "Awww damn....... Probably at the coke bottle....." In another instant, Simon willed himself to the Coke Bottle, he had approached on the Mt. Moon side. "Holy......... it got f_cking bigger...." The massive object lied with a back drop of mountains and dark clouds. The nozzle extending far into the sky, barely able to visualize it Simon could only make it out during lighting strikes. It slept half buried, but was still a sight to behold, "Just one damn big ass Diet Coke Bottle........" Simon hovered for a moment, pondering the possibilities of the activities going on inside. When he finally soared towards the facility, he was met with an abrupt halt. SMACK! "OUCH! What the....." One hand on his sore ghost's nose, and the other hand on a clearly invisible plane of solid something. Simon confused felt the invisible matter, and tried to pass through it but to no avail. "Dammit....." Staring onto that giant oddity, even in Simon's ghost form he could not penetrate its boundaries. "Ah well.........." Simon sighed and jetted away. On the way to Cerulean, he came across some familiar faces. "DREADITE! You mother f_cker!" He was with two other characters, one the infamous but famous Maria Rocket, and the other a rocket Simon had never seen before. The 3 were in some sort of balloon examining the immediate area. Simon floated to his unknowing foe, and tried to take over Dreadite's body like in the movies. But that failed as well, "Awwwww Dammit!" Simon yelled again. A soft but menacing cry emanated from one side of the balloon, "Mew......" Simon's eyes bulged as the sight of an incredibly rare Pokemon appeared. For a moment, the kitten and Dreadite stared eye to eye, until a brilliant beam of something exploded out of the Mew's skull and into Dreadite. The Force took Dreadite with it, and out of the air ship, knocking him all the way back to the ground. "Woo Hoo!" Simon yelled out happily. >"Was that such a hot idea to leave him back there?" One of the Rockets asked. >"It's better to live... besides, he looked rather dead to me." Maria replied. "Damn........ what cold cold Rockets." Simon muttered. >"You didn't even look at him!" Simon soon got bored of the floating Rockets and went down to examine Dreadite who looked dead. But to Simon's unlucky luck, the menace got up and showed his sign of life. >"Damn, that smarts." Dreadite said groggily. "Bastard." Simon directed toward Dreadite. "Yea that's right! BASTARD! Hahahahahaha............... er....... hehe." Simon flew off taking note of Dreadite's whereabouts and was sure to return in his real body. After a couple of hours of flying everywhere, Simon flew back to Pallet to check on his body. He saw the memorial being rebuilt and just sighed at the destruction he helped cause. Inside, Simon found his way through, just flying through walls, and into the room where his body was. Only....... it was gone. "WHAT THE! WHERE'S MY BODY!" TBC "You ain't gotta like me, I just tell it how it is and you tell it how it might be." ~ Puff Daddy