From: Roberto Perez-Vila
Subject: [PW!] Barbecued Magmar
Date: Friday, June 18, 1999 2:38 PM
Minax peeks out from behind some thick bushes west of Lavender Town. The
sun is about to set, and she's been here all afternoon. So far, the only
thing she's been able to do is secretly steal a little boy's Pokeball
and send it to Team Rocket Headquarters. There's no fun in that for
Minax, since the child doesn't realize the Pokemon's missing until he's
far away from her. She wants some fun before the day is through, to make
up for the Pidgey crapping on her boot.
"Hello, here's something..." Minax whispers as she sees an approximately
thirteen year old girl with long orange hair walking westward with the
strange Fire Pokemon known as Magmar walking next to her. She seems
happy enough and has four badges pinned to a red sash on her tight white
sweater. She also wears a red skirt and red sandals.
The girl is petting her Magmar on head, not being hurt by the flames
constantly burning there, "Ohh, Magmar, are ya ready to take on Sabrina?
I hear she's really tough!" The Magmar nods and quacks, "Mag! Mag!"
Minax leaps out of the bushes and calmly walks over to the girl, "Hello
there, little girl."
The girl turns to face Minax, "Hey! Who you callin' little? I'm almost
"Oh, I'm sorry..." Minax tilts her head, a strange smile on her lips,
"What should I call you, then?"
"Valerie!" she answers, looking up at Minax as menacingly as possible,
Minax eyes Valerie. She doesn't look very tough, and neither does her
flaming chicken. Minax walks in front of the Magmar and looks at it eye
to eye, "I don't see one of these everyday. What is it?"
"He's very special!" Valerie responds, forgetting that she's in the
presence of a stranger for a moment, "He's a Magmar! I'm from Cinnabar
Island, the only place you can find them. I didn't catch him myself,
though. I got it from my dad when I began my journey! Magmar here helped
my dad become a Pokemon Master, and he's helping me become a Pokemon
master too. I'm going to pass him on to my kid, when he or she begins
his or her journey, too!" Valerie smiles and hugs her Magmar, not
minding the flames, "Now, are you gonna challenge me to a Pokemon
Battle? People jumpin' outta bushes do that a lot! Well, if that's what
ya want, yer gonna lose, 'cause my Magmar's the best!"
Minax shakes her head and places her hand on the second Pokeball on her
belt, "Me? Lose? Against a Fire Pokemon? That might have been true last
week, but not now. I just caught a very strong Water Pokemon a couple of
"HA!" Valerie caresses the spikes of fire protruding out of her Magmar's
back, "Big deal! Magmar'll win! Let's do it!"
Minax plucks her Pokeball from her belt and extends it forward. Red
light shoots out and forms into a large blue Poliwhirl, his fists
clenched, ready for battle. Minax gets the first command in, "Poliwhirl,
Poliwhirl's spiral starts to whirl in the opposite direction and a
stream of water shoots out of his stomach, towards the Magmar! Steam
pours out of the top of the Magmar's head, but he doesn't show any pain
in his expression.
Valerie shoves her Magmar closer to the Poliwhirl and calls out,
"Magmar, Fire Punch!"
Magmar lifts up one clawed fist and slams it onto the Poliwhirl's belly,
burning the bandage that's located there, and sending the Poliwhirl
flying back towards Minax. Her Water Pokemon faints at her feet after
one measly attack coming from a Fire Pokemon. "What the hell? My
Poliwhirl's a weakling!"
"Uh uh!" Valerie answers, waving one finger, "Magmar's just REALLY
strong! My daddy trained him and I've been training him, so he's
probably close to level 60 or 70! The type advantage only works on
Pokemon of more or less the same level, or didn't ya know that? Good
job, Magmar, I love you!"
"Of course." Minax calls Poliwhirl back into his Pokeball. As she puts
his Pokeball away, she opens up her holster and pulls out her silver
pistol. "I wonder if Magmars are strong or weak against bullets. Let's
Valerie looks a little shocked, "B-b-bullets? What's that? A water gun?"
"Hmm, let's see, smart girl..." Minax uses her free hand to scratch her
head mockingly, "Do bullets shoot out of water guns? Duhhhh... no! They
come out of real guns. Let me demonstrate."
"WHAT?!" Valerie yells, "Magmar, Smoke Screen!" The Magmar looks around,
trying to find the target Pokemon. He's never been commanded to attack a
human, so he simply doesn't perform the move.
Minax shakes her head, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now you've ticked me off. Usually
I give Pokemon a chance to redeem themselves, but you've really pissed
me off, Valerie. Now he dies."
Tears form in Valerie's eyes and she cries out in a sad, hopeless tone,
"Why are you doing this?! WHY?!"
Minax looks through the sight on her gun, straight at the Magmar's
armored neck. "I'm hungry."
"What... what are you saying?!" She is paralyzed by the presence of the
Minax chuckles lightly, "Magmar: It's what's for dinner." She pulls the
trigger. The bullet penetrates the Magmar's neck, and blood gushes out
of his jugular, turning Valerie's white sweater a bloody red color. The
crying girl looks down at her body, and it is covered in her Pokemon's
blood. She looks at her beloved Magmar as he topples to the ground.
"No..." She coughs out, unable to stop crying, "how..." What follows is
a horror-inducing shriek from Valerie's throat. The next scream is
longer and more pain filled. Anyone would shudder... except Minax.
Valerie falls to her knees and touches her Magmar's corpse. He looks up
at her with dead eyes, an eternal smile on his beak. "I'll kill you,
"Big words coming from a girl without a gun." Minax shakes her head,
pointing her pistol at Valerie now, "Cry all you want, it won't bring
him back. Just don't tell anyone what happened if you want your father
to live. Leave this place."
Valerie looks up through tears at the silver barrel being pointed at her
forehead. She begins to crawl away from her Magmar's corpse, then
manages to get up on her knees, and finally stands up and runs away
without looking back.
A few moments later, it is dark outside. Minax is sitting far north from
the place where Magmar had been shot. She has started a camp fire, where
she is cooking parts of the fire Pokemon that she murdered earlier. She
is nibbling on the wing-like arm of the Magmar that once belonged to
Valerie, which has been cooked and marinated with barbecue sauce.
Minax stares deep into the fire. The Magmar's skull stares back at her,
uncontrollable flames singing his skull where in the past, they would
have been healthy for him. His unforgiving eye sockets are empty. The
weird smile on his beak remains, but it is anything but serene. It is a
tortured smile, a constant reminder of the moment he died. Minax feels
just a little guilty, so she tries to console the skull, "Ahh, don't
worry, Magmar... You wouldn't have wanted to be her kid's Pokemon... I'm
sure he... or she... would've been a buttmuch. Hey, speaking of
Minax reaches for another one of the Magmar's cooked body parts. She
spreads barbecue sauce all over it, then takes a large bite of the
Magmar's rump, "Mmmm! Tastes like chicken!"