From: Saber <saberteamr@aol.commode> Subject: [PW!] Dan, the Living Action figure! Date: Monday, June 21, 1999 10:32 PM Somewhere in the vastness of the place commonly known as the Void, something stirs... Tears begin to form, patching themselves up almost immediately... Weird things start to happen... ----- Lavender Town Police Dept. "It was Pikablu I tell you, Pikablu!!" "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to detain you on counts of DWI." ----- Pewter City Gym. "Hello, ladies!! Wha???? Where are all the girls?? They were just here!!" ----- DCBFH:E. "What?? How did you get in he--....hey, where'd he go?" ----- Fuchsia City. Wudarski Household. 2nd floor, room at the top of the stairs. Clothes dresser. A shoebox full of toys starts to glow. There is a small explosion, and several small objects fly out of the box, out the window and onto the grass. The air around them begins to ripple; rips and tears seem to form in the air itself, and suddenly... "AHHHHHH!!--" A makeshift vehicle appears seemingly out of thin air, and screeches to a halt, sending its occupants flying. "DAAAAAAMN, if that wasn't the scariest ride I've ever been on!!" A man wearing desert camoflage stands up and dusts himself off. He is adorned with several peculiar items. "Dahhhhhh!" A large pineapple on wheels with a pizza on its head sits upside down, unable to turn itself over. "What in the hell?? Where are we?" The man asks one of his cohorts, a yellow robot about the size of a Volkswagen beetle. "How the hell should I know? I just got here too, ya know." the robot replies. "DAHHHHH DAH!!!" The pinapple is getting impatient, and tries to flip itself over, its wheels turning incessantly. "Calm down Coconut Joe, I'm working on it." the man says as he turns the pineapple right-side-up. "Dan, where are we?" a small man about waist high asks. The man is burnt all over, and is currently sitting on a gun emplacement on the front of the recently arrived vehicle. "Uhhh, hang on, lemme check my map." Dan says as he reaches into the glove compartment of the vehicle and pulls out a sandwich. "Mmmmm, bologna and cheese! My favorite!" "Dan, the MAP!" "Oh, right!" Dan discards the sandwich and pulls out a huge wad of paper. He unfolds it, only to find that it is an advertisement for Elmer's Glue. "DAMNIT! Uh, sorry Vernon I guess I forgot the map." Everyone else facefaults at hearing this. "Uh, lemme check the data bank on my visor..." Dan clicks the button on the right side of his visor a few times, and then remains silent, as if studying something. "Dan, what are you doing?" asks the robot. "I'm watching South Park." Everyone facefaults again. "Damnit Dan, I'm gonna hafta do this myself!" The robot walks over to Dan, pulls the visor off his head, and peers into the view screen," "YEARGGGGGGG! I'M BLIND! HELP ME BUZZ!!!" Dan screams. "Shut up Dan." the robot, Buzz, replied. Scanning thru the data banks stored in Dan's visor, Buzz comes up with a startling conclusion. "We're lost. This place is no where on the map." "Gimme back my hat." yells Dan, replacing the visor on his head. "Whee! I can see again!" Suddenly, a character dressed all in black with a red 'R' on his shirt pops out of the undergrowth and declares "Hand over of all your Pokemon, or else!!" "Who the hell is Pokeman" asks Dan "and why would we have him?" The Rocket, taken aback by this strange fellow, decides to repeat his last statement, for lack of something better to say. "I don't know who Pokeman is, but I do know you're getting annoying!!" Dan says, drawing his plastic lightsaber with his free hand. He holds up the shield adorned with 'Bob' implanted on his other hand and assumes a rather goofy-looking fighting stance. "Uh....I'm outta here." The Rocket pops back into the shrubs, dropping a round red and white ball on his way. Buzz goes over and picks it up. "What kind of contraption is this?" "I dunno, but IT'S MINE!! I FOUND IT!!" Dan exclaims. Buzz sighs, handing the ball to Dan, who pockets it. "Sometimes I think we were better off with Bob..." Coconut Joe 'daaaah's in agreement. "Well, let's see if we can find out where in Bob's name we are." Dan says as he hops into the vehicle, dubbed the Bobmobile. Dan fires up the engines, and shouts to a previously unnoticed man sitting i nthe rear cockpit "Switch over to aerial mode!" The man, who doesn't have a name, wordlessly exchanges one huge circuit breaker for another, and the Bobmobile jerks forward before slowly gaining altitude. Coconut Joe has taken his usual spot on the right rear wing, and Buzz has retired to his chair on the left rear wing. The Bobmobile surges forward uncontrollably, as Dan has wedged his plastic lightsaber on the gas pedal. "We'll make better time this way!" he exclaims as the Bobmobile jets out of sight. TBC! ----- Heh, OK everyone, tell me what you think. I'm starving for feedback, especially on this, the weirdest of my characters!! Reply, reply reply!!! To anyone from the AGNP chat room: I toldya I claimed the guy with the plastic lightsaber! ^_~ Happy Birthday to me, Happy birthday to me! ------------ Saber's Sig v2.95 ***Saber means "to know."*** Team Rocket HQ: http://teamr.upnetwork.com Email: saber@upnetwork.com "9 out of 10 people agree that they are sick of the other person." - ??? "wah, wah, look at me, I'm Saber" - Sirius