From: Thatguyty <thatguyty@hotmail.com> Subject: [PW!] [NC] [Rated M] Fat Bastard joins Team Rocket Date: Tuesday, June 29, 1999 3:11 PM ::Hides in wigglyproof bunker:: OK, this may be corny as hell, full of battered clichés, and generally crappy. It's rated M, so Dima if you're reading this, please stop. Don't worry all, this is a one time thing and won't happen again (you hope =). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Giovanni was sitting in a large dark room with a long table in the center. All the high-ranking members of Team Rocket were sitting around the table in the basement of Rocket's Game Corner in Celadon City. Among them were Jesse, James, Butch, Cassidy, Meowth, Giovanni and his Persian, Dreadite, and Maria. Persian was on Giovanni's lap, smirking at Meowth, who was asking Jesse and James when they could leave. Giovanni stroked Persian, while Maria stroked her Wigglytuff launcher. Dreadite just grinned, grinningly. Butch and Cassidy talked amoungst themselves, probably plotting James and Jesse's doom. "This meeting of Team Rocket will come to order," said Giovanni, "I've gathered you here today to introduce you to our newest assassin. Assassin meaning Pokemon thief." Giovanni pushed a button on his control panel, and a door at the opposite end of the room slowly slid open. Smoked poured from the door, which stalled 1/8 of the way up. "Oh this is just frickin' great! Maria, could you get some help in here." "MAINTENANCE!" screamed Maria. Three low ranking Rockets came and opened a panel in the wall. A large crank extended out and the three Rockets cranked open the door. The smoke slowly dissipated to reveal the silhouette of what appeared to be a giant Snorlax. "May I introduce you to," said Giovanni, "Ex-Dr.Evil/Scottish Military Double agent, Fat Bastard. One metric tonne." The ground shook as Fat Bastard approached the table. A panel in the floor opened up and a massive chair extended from the ground. Fat Bastard took the seat, which nearly crumpled under his weight. His knees over lapped his shins, his arms were like tree trunks. Big, flabby, gelatinous tree trunks. He had thick and pointy bright orange eyebrows. "Holy shit!" yelled Meowth, "That's no freaking human, it's a Snorlax!" Meowth lunged at Fat Bastard and grabbed on to his back. Before Fat Bastard could lift a meaty paw to swat Meowth off his head, Meowth had dug his paws into one of Fat Bastards chins and was attempting to pull off his "mask". "Ahhhh! It's got me!" screamed Meowth, "Help me, Meowth is to young to die! I-I-aargmphhhhmorpummnnn." Meowth was almost completely enveloped by the sweaty mound of fat that was Fat Bastard's chin before Giovanni told Fat Bastard to release. Meowth popped out of the chin and jumped into Jesse's vest. "It was terrible! It smelt like a decomposing Muk in there! Meowth thought he was done for!" "Get off of me you foul smelling feline!" said Jesse, disgusted by the scratch cat. James threw Meowth into his seat. "Frickin' idiots, screw up my plans. Which of these buttons....?" Giovanni muttered to himself. "Ay Lassy, that's one mean little pussy you've got there! Does he taste as good as he looks?" asked Fat Bastard. "I'm sorry, Mr. uh, Bastard, but you may not eat Meowth!" replied Jesse. "Oh, I wasn't talking about your Pokemon," retorted Fat Bastard. "Zip it!" said Giovanni, "We've got business to take care of. Now Fat Bastard, remember our agreement; for every 10 Pokemon you steal, you may eat one. Only one." "But sir, I've got a body to maintain! Do you think I'm dead sexy because I eat a lot of vegetables? Try putting yourself in my kilt. Once you have fat, you'll never go back!" said Fat Bastard. Everyone in the room cringed. "Now, as you may know, Jesse and James have been unable to steal Ash Ketchums super-strong Pikachu!" bellowed Giovanni, "Fat Bastard, your mission is to get that Pikachu, without eating him; priority one." "Ay sir, but I've got a request. If I get Pikachu, can I have a reward?" asked Fat Bastard. "For Pikachu? Name it." replied Giovanni. "I've got my eye on these lasses, Jesse and Cassidy. They look like fine cuts of meat." said Fat Bastard, grooling like a mini waterfall. "Eeeew! No! Gross!" screamed the two Rockets in sync, "You've gotta be kidding!" "Aww common lassies! I'm enough man for the both of ya at once!" argued Fat Bastard. "Well, Fat Bastard, while I'm disgusted to hell at the shear mention of you without clothes on, if you can get me Pikachu your wish will be granted," said Giovanni. "In that case, I better go catch me a mouse. But I'll be back to catch me some snatch later!" said Fat Bastard, as he oozed off his chair and through the door behind him. As the rest of the Rockets left the meeting, Maria caught up to Dreadite, "Oh dear Goddish, I think I'm gonna be sick." "Your not the only one," replied Dreadite, running to the bathroom. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Neesh. I'm even pissing myself off. ~Thatguyty Webmaster of "Tracking Mew" http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arcade/4011 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ +And begins the sig! +AIM quotes: +Me and Qui Gon126 were having a battle of wits one day. +This is some of the shit that happened: +Zagro2: Do DIMA? +Thatguyty: yes DIMA +Zagro2: *shudders* + +CyberKnux: pkmn us kewl +Tauras24: your grasp of the obvious is amazing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~