From: Roberto Perez-Vila
Subject: [PW!] Horrendous Current Events
Date: Tuesday, June 15, 1999 6:52 PM
Minax is strolling down the road east of Saffron City. In her left hand,
she is holding a folded up newspaper. In her other hand, she is holding
a chocolate covered doughnut, "Those people at the bakery were so kind!"
She raises the doughnut up to her crimson red lips and takes a
relatively large bite out of it, "Mmm... I love chocolate! Let's see
what's in the news." She takes another bite of her delicious pastry and
unfolds the newspaper with one hand.
Minax's glances over the large advertisements on the gray sheets of
paper full of news, "Red hair dye for sale in Cerulean City? I'll have
to go buy some. I'm running low..." She munches on the last bit of her
delightful treat, the corners of her lips becoming marked by the creamy
chocolate covering, and uses her free hand to flip the newspaper pages.
Now that she's using both hands, she holds the newspaper up directly in
front of her face, and her eyes move swiftly over the tiny print,
reading all the news stories that interest her. While reading, she
narrows her eyes, apparently disgusted by what's being printed, "Mad man
bombs Fearow Airport? Entire family found dead? Damn, there are too many
psychotic people out on the streets now a days. What happened to nice,
normal people like me?"
In a flash, Minax flips her gun out of her holster and aims straight for
the sky. A shot rings out and a Pidgey falls onto the grass in front of
her. She looks down at the not-quite-dead Pokemon and smirks, "Ha! Let's
see you crap on me now!"
The Pidgey ejects a small white stream of liquid fecal matter onto
Minax's boot before his eyes gloss over, indicating death. "Awww crap...
literally! How ironic, indeed." Minax growls and kicks the Pidgey into
the stratosphere! She reaches down onto the boot that the Pidgey
defecated on, wipes off the mess with her newspaper, and tosses it
Minax continues walking towards Lavender Town, enjoying the quiet
breeze, "It's such a lovely day... Maybe that's why I want to hide in
the bushes and kill some Pokemon! At least I'm being nice this time.
After they're dead, it'll take their spirits less time to get to Pokemon
Tower." She begins whistling a merry tune, until she hears a siren in
"Uh oh." Minax has feared the noise that a siren makes ever since she
became a member of Team Rocket when she was 15. It's a left-over fear
from her old life as Marcie, the Pokemon Thief. She knows that running
will just help prove that she is guilty, so she stands still, trying to
not break a sweat. The siren's noise becomes louder and louder.
The familiar voice of one of the many Officer Jennys blares out, "Stay
right there, Miss!"
"I'm sorry, officer..." Minax begins to plead, turning to face the blue
haired cop who is stepping out of her motorcycle, "...but why have you
stopped me? I haven't done anything illegal today... I mean, anything
Officer Jenny's face gets closer to Minax's, "Don't try to pull a fast
one on me, miss. I know what you've done."
Minax tries to not show fear, and goes closer towards the police woman.
Their faces are so close together that the situation seems like the
embodiment of good against bad, right against wrong, blue-hair against
red-hair. If they were lovers, they would go in one final inch to give
each other a kiss on the lips. Minax doesn't blink as she starts to lie,
"Officer, I haven't done anything. Any stories you've heard are false.
I'm a good, honest..."
Officer Jenny frowns. She'd shake her head, but it might bonk into
Minax's forehead, "I SAW what you did."
Minax's heart skips a beat, and she secretly reaches for her gun.
"The Police doesn't take kindly to litter bugs!" Officer Jenny pulls up
Minax's discarded newspaper.
Minax removes her hand from the holster and starts to back away from
Jenny, "Oh... yeah... right... You got me! I'm sorry I tried to get out
of it, but I have a reputation to uphold! Can't have the police stopping
me, you know!"
"I know..." Officer Jenny smiles for once, "It is pretty harsh for me to
stop you for this, but you need to learn that you can't pollute the
environment like this! You share the earth with other people and wild
Pokemon! You wouldn't want a Vulpix to find this newspaper, put it in
its mouth, and choke on it, would you?"
Minax sighs in ecstasy as she pictures this event playing out, but snaps
out of it and shakes her head, "No! Of course not, Officer! I'd just
feel HORRIBLE for the Vulpix! It's one of my favorite Pokemon! I'd hate
to see any harm come to it or any other of the beautiful Pokemon in the
world! I'm so sorry for littering! I'll never do it again! I promise!"
Officer Jenny nods in a friendly way as she mounts her motorcycle again,
"Since you sound sincere, I won't give you a ticket! Just remember what
you learned today, and you'll be fine! Bye!" She puts her foot on the
pedal and drives away.
Minax continues to have a big fake grin on her face until Officer Jenny
disappears in the distance. Her usual neutral stare returns, "Yes...
I'll remember what I learned. The officers in this area are a bunch of