From: Dreadite <blorch@ix.netcom.com> Subject: [PW!][NC][MST of a MST] MSTed: "[PW!][TH]Innocence Destroyed" (For real this time ^_^;;) Date: Monday, June 14, 1999 7:26 PM In article <19990614182351.14215.00002051@ng-fx1.aol.com>, goola2u@aol.compostheap says... This is a MSTING. Copyright.. eh, hell, everyone has seen that bit. Anyhow, MST3K is copyright Best Brains, and Sci-Fi... Sailormoon and all related characters (aka Zoycite and Tigers Eye) are copyright whoever owns it. I'm not quite sure. ^^;;;; This is not meant as an insult to either author. ^_^:;; Dreadite leaned back in his chair, idly poking at a bag of pretzels. As he bit down on one, a post appeared on the screen in front of him. He stopped, and looked at it closely. "Not again.. oh, look. Someone has already been subjected to this one.. this could be interesting." He stood up, and looked around. "TIGERS EYE! ZOYCITE! Get in here!" The two characters appeared in a puff of writer omnipotence. The Author smirked. "All set. We're go in 3, 2, ...." > Shard protested as he and his pokémon were shoved into the room. "You took the > challenge, sir, you have no right to…" Dreadite: To chicken out, leaving me with the tab? Tigers Eye: I hate it when that happens. > Giovanni closed the sound-proof door, and spoke to Shard over a one-way > intercom. "It’s just one, and I’ve put you in an ideal MSTing situation. It’s > not like you’re stuck for life. Use the Translator or something, and stop > being such a big baby." Zoycite: Yeah, wuss. Tigers Eye: My, is it that time of the month? Zoycite: For your information, I used to be a man.. damned censors. Dreadite: Ouch. > "Mystery Pokemon Theater Right Now" Dreadite: Or in this case, right before right now. > In the not too distant future, > It ain't even NC. Dreadite: Actually, it is now! Sucker! All: Ahahahaha! > Shard got on the boss's bad side > When Pain Dance kicked Persian's rear. > > Shard just wanted to get his Earth Badge > But that's just what got the boss so mad. > > The damage to Persian was just the icing on the cake; Tigers Eye: Icing is good. Dreadite: Yup. > So the boss swore that his new recruit would learn from the mistake. > > Boss: I'll make him read bad stories > The worst that I can get (LALALA) > In the Science Observation Room, > The most fiendish torture yet! Zoycite: I can think of much worse. Dreadite: (nodding) I'm sure. > Now keep in mind Shard can't control when this junk begins or ends, (LALALA) > He'll use the translator in the wall to stay sane with his Pokéfriends. > > Poké roll call! Dreadite: Say that ten times fast. > Shockwave ("I can't look!") > Gangreen ("This BITES!") > Pain Dance ("I shall show no mercy.") > Baaaaaaaaansheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ("I’m a crow stuck in a Jigglypuff’s > body! Help!") > > If you're wondering how he eats and sleeps, and pointless stuff, (LALALA) > Remember he’s not stuck in there, so will you please shut up… > For… Mystery Pokemon Theatre Right Now! All: Ten minutes ago! > --- > > Shard: For a big boss bad guy, he sure is touchy. Zoycite: Touchy/feely? Dreadite: I didn't want to know that. Zoycite: Ah, bug off. > >By daybreak Zephyr had made his way back to the town where he saw a little > >girl playing. > > Banshee: With a grenade. Zoycite: Grenades are GREAT gifts! > Shard: Banshee, you’re not helping. > Banshee: I’m not. I’m trying to make sure you’re even more miserable than I > am. > Pain Dance: If you want misery… Tigers Eye: Misery R us. Dreadite: Oh yes. This is misery. > Shard: Cut it out or he might make us do this all over again! > (All silent) Dreadite: The Silence... Zoycite: Too late for me, too early for him. (pointing at Tigers Eye) > "Hm she looks so innocent as a child but as an adult she may > >be deadly she must be eliminated", > > Shockwave: Ooh, I’m SOOOO scared… Tigers Eye: You've never met the spore, have you? > Shard: As an adult, ANY child could be deadly. Does that mean the entire > world must die? All: Yes. > Banshee (sings): It’s the end of the world as we know it… Dreadite: Sign here, and we'll end it for you. Only $9.99 plus tax! > > said Zephyr as he floated towards her. > > Gangreen: I can see the strings. Dreadite: Woah. Under paid writers? > Shard: This is a FANFIC! Dreadite: Oh, like that explains why you reused that old joke. Zoycite: I can see the budget. > Gangreen: Well, um… It’s a very cheap fanfic? > > >"Hello, mister", said the little girl as she started to play in the sand. > >"Hello, nothing", Zephyr screamed at her. > > Banshee (Jar Jar voice): How wude. Dreadite: (reaching for screen) Annoying Jar-Jar! You had your 80 total minutes of fame! > Shard (strangling Banshee): Die, Jar Jar, DIEEEEEEE! Oops, heh heh, sorry > Banshee. (Puts Banshee down. Banshee steps away in fear.) Zoycite: Can't follow through? Ahahaha! Tigers Eye: My ears hurt. > > "Ah, you're a bad person I'm > >going with mom", said the little girl > > Shockwave: Well, what was her first hint? Dreadite: The evil music? Zoycite: The bad breath? Tigers Eye: The awful taste in outfits? Zoycite: Like you're one to talk. > >as she ran towards a small house. > >"Well looks like I'll pay your mom a visit as well", said Zephyr as he > >floated after her. > > Gangreen: I can still see the… I am now shutting up. Zoycite: I can still see the budget. Okay, I'm wasting space now. Tigers Eye: I need to file my nails. > >"Mom, there's this weird..", the little girl was cut off > > Shard: At the knees, as should be whoever wrote this. Zoycite: You said it. Tigers Eye: (cracks a whip) A flogging for both authors will be fine! > >as Zephyr used his > >aerokinesis to hold her in place. > > Shockwave: Whoever here thinks that aerokinesis is just something the author > pulled out his butt, raise your hand! Zoycite: Midochlorines again? > Banshee: I don’t HAVE any hands! > Shockwave: Then just raise an appendage. > All others: Take it to AGNPH! Tigers Eye: Zirconia has me on parental lock after I looked for those pictures of that one target... Zoycite: (snickers) > >"Don't you know its not nice to make fun > >of people", said Zephyr as her mother came in. > > Pain Dance: And it is less nice to force upon others this horrific imitation > of popcorn in here! Dreadite: Tastes like chicken, it does! Zoycite: So it tastes like fish? > Shard: Giovanni’s SOOO cheap! > > >"Leave her alone you bastard", said the mother. > > Shard: So ZEPHYR killed Kenny! Dreadite: You bastard! > >"That isn't very nice", said Zephyr > > Gangreen: Yeah, like you got a right to talk, pal. Zoycite: (as Gangreen) I did not give you the right to speak! Shut up! Dreadite: I don't think he meant it like that. > >as he released the little girl and floated the mom towards himself. > > Shard: Sheesh, even I’M not that desperate. > (Banshee begins to hum "Maria" by Blondie, until Shard stuffs some "popcorn" > into his mouth.) Zoycite: Woah, that is... disgusting. Can they show that? Tigers Eye: This looks like that tape from Fish Eye's... Dreadite: (puts hand over Tigers Eye's mouth) Don't finish that. > > "What do you > >wan..", before the mom could finish he grabbed her head and twisted it > >killing her. > > Pain Dance: Well, that was dishonorable. Zoycite: Look, that was SO fake. To break someone's neck, you go like this! (grabs Tigers Eye) Tigers Eye: Nooo, don't! Zoycite: Oops, sorry. > >"Noo!", screamed the little girl as she started to cry. "You son of a gun, > >you're going to die!", screamed the father that had just recently arrived as > >he shoot Zephyr. > > Shard: Don’t try it, pal, he’s kind of omnipotent. Dreadite: Kind of omniporent? That's not something you can be in the grey area about. Zoycite: Yeah, he's kinda psycho, he kinda 100 people... Dreadite: You called? > >"Why don't you", said Zephyr as he stopped the bullet with > >his aerokinesis and reversed it back to his owner. > > Shard: Case in point Dreadite: Nah, anyone can reverse something going the speed of sound! All: Actually.. we just teleport. Doh! > "Please, I don't want to > >die", said the father > > Banshee: Well, sometimes people don’t get what they want. Zoycite: Life sucks. I've died, but I get brought back in almost every fanfic. It's because I'm too pretty to die! Tigers Eye: I never get brought back, and I'm prettier than you. Zoycite: Says who!? > >before the bullet went through his head, killing him. > > Shard: Hey, he asked nicely. > Shockwave: In that case, may I please shove this fanfic down Giovanni’s throat > when we’re done with it. Zoycite: No, but we'll see what we can do. Would you settle for a body double? > Shard: I just meant that he at least should have got an answer to the > question. > Shockwave: What about mine? > Shard: No, you may not. Zoycite: No comment. Tigers Eye: No dream, no mirror, no service. > >"No", said the little girl as she collapsed and started crying. "You no > >what I was going to let you live and leave scarred for life > > Shard: If he’s capable of this, why is he scarred? Dreadite: Wait, what does that say again? Who'll be scared for life? Zoycite: I healed with no scars.. Tigers Eye: Uuuhhgg... (looks sick) > >but, your constant crying is annoying me", said Zephyr > > Pain Dance: So LEAVE already! Dreadite: Your constant crying is filling the fic with tears. Zoy and Tigers: (fake crying) The pain! > >as he picked up the girl and floated her to him. Zoycite: He left a floater! Sick! Dreadite: Eh, look, up in the sky! It's a bird! Tigers EYe: It's Hawks Eye! Dreadite: Wha? (looks up) > Gangreen: I can see the duct tape! > Shard: Goddish, this IS low-budget! Zoycite: It binds the galaxy together. Tigers Eye: Duct tape, it's what's for dinner. Zoycite: I THOUGHT that sushi was too chewy! > >"Please why did you kill my parents", said the little as Zephyr caressed her > >face. Zoycite: Zephyr likes younger women. Tigers Eye: Same. Dreadite: Ah, not you. > Shard: Ick, that did NOT sound right. > Shockwave: Little what? > Banshee: Little or no writing skill displayed. Zoycite: We're talking about what little thing here? Tigers Eye: Obviously someone has envy problems. > >"Because its my job", said Zephyr before breaking the little girl's > >neck, killing her. Zoycite: Typical excuse. And he's still doing it wrong. > Pain Dance: Now it’s over, right? > Shard: Well, it would have been if you hadn’t said that. Tigers Eye: Ooh... my.. GAWD! Dreadite: They killed ANOTEHR kenny? Zoycite: Eh, damned Kenny. > "It isn't that far to Cinnibar maybe I'll pay the nice > >people there a visit", said Zephyr as he floated off into the distance. > > > > Shard (shouting): Hey! Cinnabar’s THAT way, pal! Dreadite: The OTHER left! > (Picture stops, buzzer sounds, translator turns off.) Dreadite: %#((@# Zoycite: yeem. suuhs,se, Tigers Eye: What are you two going on about? > --- > > "Mon lee?" asked Pain Dance. "Yes," said Shard, "it’s over." > > "Well," asked Giovanni, "are you still alive?" "Well," said Shard. "I’m here, > and I’m talking to you. By the way, Shockwave has something to ask you." > Shard and his other three pokemon walked away, leaving Shockwave there, holding > a copy of the Fanfic. Zoycite: Damn, you were supposed to die. Ahahahhaa! Tigers Eye: Woah, that laugh again! > "What is it?" asked Giovanni. "Chu… Pika…" said Shockwave nervously. The > small rodent pokémon was trembling visibly. "Well?" asked Giovanni. "Pika!" > squealed Shockwave, dropping the Fanfic and dashing off after the others. Zoycite looked at the retreating figures. "Wimps." The screen fades, leaving the three bish villains laughing maniacly. Dreadite ----- "The end comes.. beyond chaos." --Kefka "Why do people rebuild things they know are going to be destroyed? Why do people cling to life when they know they can't live forever? Think how meaningless each of your lives is!" --Kefka