From: Spawn <nmvds@aol.computers> Subject: [PW!] Merry Cascadebadge, Steven Fugues! P1 Date: Wednesday, June 23, 1999 12:36 PM Recap: After getting involved in a battle with the TR-BOT ["Magic Show Mayhem"], Steve Fugues and Karen Oak went to Brock's Diner ["Recovery"] where their car was nearly stolen ["Attempted Auto Theft."] By this time, he was extremely tired and had to be driven to the hotel room. Note: This PW story was inspired by "Merry Christmas Charlie Brown." So all those people who actually saw this 30 minute movie should be able to find more humor in this tale than others... ************** Our story starts off with our heroes, Steve Fugues and Karen Oak talking with each other on the side of the contest bridge of Cerulean City where members for Team Rocket are recruited. Fortunately, it was less busy that day since one of the trainers was taking longer to recover from an attack of Gil Bates than expected. "You know Karen, I just don't get it. I'm starting to get a great collection of Pokemon, and yet I'm more depressed than ever," Steve confided in her. "How can you be depressed?" she asked. "You're on your way to earning a new badge. Why, you should be elated, Steven Fugues." "I don't know why," Steve began, "I just do. For some reason, I have trouble getting into the Pokemon spirit." "Maybe Professor Oak is right," Karen lamented, "of all the Steven Fugues of the world, you're the Steven Fugue-iest." ************ Steve wasn't sure what to do today. He went to the local Pokemon Center to check to see if anyone had sent him any messages. No one did. "I already know no one likes me," Steve thought to himself, "why do we need Pokemon Centers to emphasize on that fact?" He left the center, disgruntled. On his way out, he noticed a sign for a new company called "Pokesoft." "Investment opportunity for Pokemon trainers," it read, "Make money, money, money." Steve wanted to scream. "Has the entire world of Pokemon gone commercial on me?" he asked. "Hey Steve, I know what will cheer you up!" Karen began. "Let's go to the local gym. I hear they have a really good trainer over there." "Okay, maybe you're right," Steve said. The two of them went inside of the gym, but all they found was a huge auditorium. "And now," the Intercom began, "the Sensational Cerulean Sisters!" The three sisters giggled and began their synchronized swimming routine. "What the heck is going on?" asked Steve. "They're local celebrities here because they're really talented," said Erin. "The sport started becoming popular after it started being called 'wet chicks all doing the same thing,'" added Marvin the Magician. "Anyway, they converted this gym into a place where they could perform most of the time," Erin explained. "This way, they can sell their merchandise of autographs, posters, CDs, etc." "Does anyone actually FIGHT here anymore?" Steve asked. "Sure, I'm assuming they make time for it occasionally," said Marvin as he continued to ogle at the sisters. "By the way, I hear that there's this gym in Celadon City that specializes in making perfume in their free time..." the Erin added. "Good grief, even the Pokemon gyms have gone commercial!" Steve yelled as he stormed out. ************* "Hi there, I'm here for psychiatric advice?" Steve told the talking Meowth behind the counter. The Meowth gestured towards a tin can on his desk and Steve put in a nickel. "Oh, how I love that sound!" the Meowth. "That lovely magical sound of a clinking nickel!" "Uh, doc?" "I'm listening." "No, at this point, you're ripping off lines from Kelsey Grammar." "I see you're a little agitated today," the Meowth noted. "What's your problem?" "Well, I just can't seem to get into the Pokemon spirit," said Steve. "Hmmm... why not?" the Meowth asked. "Do you think you have a fear of success? "No." "Fear of failure?" "No." "Do you think you've become infatuated by the person you've been journeying with these past few weeks and have found yourself having difficulty focusing on Pokemon anymore?" "Huh?" "Uh, skip that last one," the Meowth continued. Do you think it's because you believe that Pokemon have been too widely commercialized over the years and you find yourself disgusted by the effects of corporation and capitalism?" Steve thought to himself for a moment. "THAT'S IT!!!" he shouted, with enough force to knock the Meowth from his chair. "Well then, perhaps I have a suggestion," the Meowth told Steve. "The Cerulean City Gym should be ready for new challengers soon. You could get your Pokemon ready and put on a good show." ************ "Okay everyone," said the Meowth, "we're going to have a new challenger today who's going to show you all the real way to fight with Pokemon." "And who might this be?" asked Erin. "Steven Fugues," Meowth answered. "Steven Fugues? That blockhead?" Misty asked. "Okay now," said the Meowth, "here's the order we're going to do it. I'm going to pass out schedules for who competes when and then we'll see what Steven can do." One of the challengers, Linus, were disappointed. "I'm going first?" Linus complained. "Why do I always have to go first while the Pokemon are at their peak? I hate going first. Give me one reason why I should go first!" "I'll give you four good reasons," said Meowth as he sprung his claws one by one. "One, two, three, four." "Those are very good reasons," Linus admitted. Suddenly, Steve and Karen entered the room. "Hey, Steven Fugues, make yourself useful!" shouted Angel. "Yeah, pick a good Pokemon for when you go against Misty!" Aislynn added. "Maybe a Mewtwo or a Zapdos or an Alakazam," Alyssa suggested. Steve turned around with Karen. "Well, we better leave now," he said. As they left, the kids start to sing: (To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree," available at "Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, How are thy moves so useful! Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, How are thy moves so useful! Someday I hope I'll catch them all, I'll give them each a Pokeball. Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, How are thy moves so useful! Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, I enjoy fights doth thou have won. Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, I enjoy fights doth thou have won, When catching all the Pokemon, We must be fast or they'll be gone. Oh Pokemon, Oh Pokemon, I enjoy fights doth thou have won." *********** Steve and Karen pulled together their collection of Pokemon together. There was a Butterfree, an Abra, a Diglett, a Charmander, a Psyduck, an Oddish, a Jigglypuff, a Pidgey, and a Magikarp. "What about this one? Or this one?" Karen suggested, gesturing to the Butterfree and the Oddish. Then she looked at the Jigglypuff. "Or this?" But something else caught Steve's eye. The Magikarp, who was now fully recovered from getting stabbed by the TR-BOT and needed an ego boost. "I'm not sure about this, Steven Fugues," Karen told him. "I don't know, Karen," Steve began, "it's like it needs me." "Okay, Steven Fugues," Karen said as she gave up, "go ahead." ********** TBC Next time: Steve Fugues attends the eager spectators at the Cerulean City gym with only a Magikarp against Misty's Togepi. The crowd groans when Misty decides not to put her Togepi into battle after all against such a weak Pokemon, which is actually rather fortunate because Spawn would be in deep $%&@! if she did. What happens then? Stay tuned for our next musical installment of Steve Fugues and Karen Oak. -Spawn To reply, remove "puters" from the e-mail address.