From: Roberto Perez-Vila <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] Silly Pokemon, Guns Are For Humans! Date: Wednesday, June 09, 1999 9:39 AM "She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancin' in the rain..." Minax is almost completely submerged in a river, rubbing a bar of soap over herself, "She'll make you live the crazy life, but she'll take away your pain... with a bullet to your brain..." Minax sniffs out a laugh, and continues to rub the soap all over her body underneath the water. Due to Minax's vanity, she always has to be clean... and that is difficult since she has no real home and Pokemon Centers don't take kindly to people with guns. So, earlier, she walked all the way over to the eastern outskirts of Cerulean City, to a river, just north of the Rock Tunnel. Here is where she took most of her clothing off and leaped into the water. In her hand, she carried a bar of soap, which has grown small since the time she jumped in... over thirty minutes ago. "I think I'm clean enough..." Minax examines her wrinkled fingertips, "Eeew, it's definitely time to get out!" She throws the sliver of soap to the bottom of the river and swims to the edge. She vaults herself out of the water and onto the firm ground, careful to land on the grass and not soil. All she is wearing is wet black undergarments. She reaches for a pink towel she bought earlier that day and dries herself off, admiring every part of her own body as she runs the towel through it... Her shoulders, her arms, her chest, her legs, and her presently wrinkled feet. "I'm truly a work of art!" She checks to see if anyone is around, turns around, and quickly replaces her brassiere with just her skin tight black leather top, which now hugs her form more accurately since she's not wearing a bullet proof vest. "And now to clean my jeans. What a chore!" Minax reaches into her bag of supplies and pulls out a small box of detergent. She grabs her dirty dark blue jeans and submerges them in the river, dumping the toxic detergent all over them. She proceeds to rub the jeans and sway them around in the water, "She'll push and pull you out... Livin' la vida Poké!" While she washes her jeans, a Magikarp in the river swims up to her, "Karp! Karp! Karp!" He stares up at Minax with his pathetic face, apparently wanting a new master to help him evolve. "Oh, hello there." Minax reaches over and runs her hand down the Magikarp's scaly back, "Are you hungry, little one?" "Magikarp! Karp! Magikarp!" The fish's mouth opens and closes. Minax smirks, "I'll take that as a yes!" She takes the last bit of detergent left in the small box and shakes it into the Magikarp's open mouth. The Magikarp's eyes droop down and he gets dizzy. He dies. The Magikarp's lifeless corpse floats up onto its side, all potential for immense power after evolution gone in one meal. "One less Gyarados to worry about in the future." Minax shakes her head and continues to scrub her jeans under the river water. "Woops, make that two... or three... four... five... six..." She watches as various dead Magikarp start floating up to the surface of the water, turned on their side like the rest. "Guess that detergent really *is* bad for the environment." When she finishes washing her jeans, she tosses them aside, waiting for them to dry in the sun. She takes this opportunity to bathe herself in the sun as well. It's not often her long legs get sunlight. She sits with her legs extended forward and her arms behind her back. She glances back at the water to see all the dead Magikarp, "What a waste of wild Pokemon. I almost feel sorry for them... at least no one loves them. Just like no one loved Marcie. No one will miss them." Minax sighs and lies down to enjoy the sizzling feeling of the sun rays tickling her legs and feet, "I wish life could always be this relaxing... Too bad this is likely to be caught off by some stupid Pidgey crapping on my face or a little idiot kid challenging me to a battle... Or a mercenary coming to claim some worthless reward on my life." She closes her eyes. A Poliwhirl crawls out of the water, apparently very sick from the detergent contaminating his usually healthy river water. He walks over to Minax's belt and grabs her gun, not knowing exactly what it is. While investigating it, his fat and clumsy hand stumbles open the trigger! A bullet is fired! Minax sits up immediately and sees the Poliwhirl bleeding out of the spiral on his stomach, "Ooh, That's gotta hurt." The poisoned and now shot Poliwhirl falls face flat on the ground. Minax shakes her head, "I should've put the safety on." She stands up and walks over to the more than likely dead Poliwhirl, "Are you okay?" The Poliwhirl doesn't respond. "Were you trying to kill me for ruining your river?" The Poliwhirl twitches slightly. Minax's eyes widen a little, "You were, weren't you? Wanting to get revenge on me? I like your style, Poliwhirl." She reaches for her belt and grabs an empty Pokeball. She glances down at the Poliwhirl and chuckles a little, "You already weakened yourself for me! Thanks!" She drops the Pokeball on the Poliwhirl and the wounded water Pokemon turns into red energy. It is quickly sucked in... The Pokeball sort of jiggles around once before announcing the successful capture with a beep. Minax reaches down to the pool of Poliwhirl blood and removes the Pokeball from it, "Looks like the bastard wasn't dead, after all! He'll be safe in here until I can find some way to cure him. Wouldn't want to be responsible for the death of an innocent wild Pokemon." She looks over at the river full of dead Magikarp, "Of a wild Pokemon that isn't worthless, that is." Minax decides to stop talking to herself. She reaches down and slides her damp jeans on. She then sits down to force her tight boots back on. She secures her belt, and makes sure everything is there... including the new addition to her team. She looks over at her brown bullet proof vest. "It's light enough to pass for a jacket..." She wears it over her black leather top, which is pressing against her skin so tightly that the indentation of her belly button can be seen. "Let's hope they don't recognize me in the Cerulean City Pokemon Center. This Poliwhirl's life depends on it." She looks westward, the wind blowing through her moist red hair. She begins jogging, her boots making a squishing noise! -Minax