Subject: [PW!] This Island Pokémon
Date: Monday, June 28, 1999 5:13 PM
I just had to use the name Rhyddarch (RID-dark) somewhere. And what
better Pokémon to use it on than a Rhydon?
--THIS ISLAND POKÉMON--
After an flight from Cinnabar Island that had lasted from the
afternoon to early next morning, Pokémon Island was at last within
reach. "Grendel, bring us down on the shore there," Kyle ordered his
Aerodactyl. Grendel descended quickly, and Kyle nearly lost his
Toronto Raptors hat. The Aerodactyl made an unusually soft landing on
the sandy coast of Pokémon Island.
"Aeeero. Dactyl!" Grendel sang, congratulating himself on a
"You're getting better," Kyle admitted. Kyle got off of Grendel's
back and returned the complacent Aerodactyl to his Pokéball.
Thanatos came next, followed by Torrasque. In mid-air,
Torrasque's blue pet Pikachu, Cathode, was leaning over from
Torrasque's left shoulder to the ghostly guitar that was strapped to
Thanatos's back and trying to play the stringed instrument. Cathode
was inordinately disappointed by the fact that the guitar was not solid.
Kyle released Espio the white Charmeleon from his Pokéball, and
Espio just glanced into the dense jungle that began right where the
sandy beach became dirt. "My family's cave is in there somewhere," he
announced. "The terrain's changed too much since I was here last. I
don't know if I can still find my way around."
"Not a problem," said Torrasque. "We have Cathode here! He looks
like he's from Pokémon Island."
"Pi?" Cathode wondered, hearing his name. He had not originated
on Pokémon Island at all; merely, he was an example of the Darwinian
theory about variations existing in any population. Cathode had been
born in the same place Torrasque had found him: the derelict
hydroelectric plant near Cerulean City.
Nonetheless, as soon as Torrasque put Cathode on the ground, the
tiny rodent scurried right up to the entrance to the jungle and just
remained in one place, listening and sniffing. At one point Cathode's
fur suddenly stood on end, and he raised both ears, standing as still
as a statue.
"Something's coming," Torrasque realized.
A dense conglomeration of leaves then parted, and a giant rust-
colored Rhydon appeared, carrying a loaded ten-gauge and aiming it at
Kyle. "We don't much care for your kind around here," the Rhydon
snarled, in a voice strikingly similar to Sean Connery's. "Get back on
your Aerodactyl and leave this island before I pump ye full of so much
lead that you could double as a pencil."
Espio ignored the potential threat of the shotgun and walked over
to the Rhydon. "...Rhyddarch?" Espio wondered.
"Do...I know ye?" Rhyddarch asked Espio.
"I'm the guy who helped you get rid of all those Poké-poachers and
steal their stuff! The guy who helped you get that gun! The guy who
got captured by that asshole trainer Dorian, got named Surtur, and got
forced to beat the crap out of you!" Espio paused. "Errr...just
pretend I didn't say that last part."
The Rhydon slowly lowered his shotgun and took a good look at
Espio. "Surtur? I apologize, I didn't recognize ye! I thought you
were going to remain a Charmander your whole life."
"Now that Dorian's gone, my name's Espio. And, well, Dorian
threatened to shoot me if I didn't evolve into a Charmeleon. But I've
got a new trainer now - a non-asshole. This is Kyle." He pointed in
"Well, the evolution was certainly an improvement, laddie," said
Rhyddarch. "So, what brings ye back here?"
"Actually, I have no idea," Espio replied. "Kyle, why are we
There were several seconds of silence. "I just figured you'd want
to go home to your family, Espio," Kyle eventually answered. "I wasn't
planning on keeping you, you know."
"You...weren't?" Espio wondered, rather shocked.
"Not at all. I only keep parent-less Pokémon. Fenris was ditched
by his parents as a puppy. Leviathan was abandoned before he even
hatched from his egg. Ares, back when he was a Machop, got kicked out
of his clan for losing a wrestling match. Grendel and Torrasque were
both created in the Cinnabar Island Laboratories. And we're guessing
that Thanatos never had any parents to start with, 'cause, well, he's a
"Criminy! He's completely right!" Thanatos realized. "I
just...I just sorta came out o' nowhere, didn't I..." Phantasmal tears
started streaming from his eyes. Cathode sweatdropped, not having any
idea what Thanatos was doing.
"You're the only Pokémon I've had who has a hope of reuniting with
his family," Kyle said to Espio.
"Well...if you're sure now," Espio replied, still quite surprised.
"C'mon, lads," Rhyddarch piped up. "I'll take ye to Espio's cave."
Rhyddarch then put his gun into a large holster, and pulled what was
evidently a red Scyther blade out of a sheath that was strapped to his
"Why, you...you..." Torrasque began, his eyes burning with rage.
"Relax, laddie. This blade got cut off in a battle for territory
between two male Scythers. I didn't do anything to either of them."
So the team entered the shady jungle and gradually blazed a trail
through a dense mass of tall grasses and low-hanging vines. Kyle
caught only fleeting glimpses of wild Pokémon on the way, who were
scared out of their wits by the presence of a human on the island. All
of the Pokémon Kyle saw were odd-colored...he observed a brown Mankey,
a green Meowth, and a red Squirtle, among others.
Actually not too far into the jungle Rhyddarch stopped and pointed
toward the side of a gigantic, moss-covered rock. "There ye go,"
Rhyddarch announced, sheathing his Scyther blade.
"I'm home!" Espio exclaimed. He sprinted toward the rock, and
walked around to the other side. He moved a large bush out of the way,
and behind the bush was a large opening in the rock. As it turned out,
the rock was in fact an entrance to a subterranean cave. Espio
hesitated before entering. "Hmmm...the rest of you aren't going to
want to go in here," he said to Kyle's crew, remembering the fact that
it was several hundred degrees in his home. "So...this is goodbye, eh?"
"Yeah," replied Kyle. "Tell your folks I say hello."
"And if you're thinking about trying Pepsi One, don't," Torrasque
added. "That stuff'll warp ya."
Espio brushed away a fake tear. "Sniff...you're the level-headed
friends I never had," he remarked, rather sarcastically. "But anyway,
it's been real. If you ever revisit Pokémon Island, be sure to drop by
my cave. And bring Pepsi. It's pretty damn hard to find a 7-11 around
here, y' know." Kyle tossed Espio the Pokéball containing the
Charmeleon's possessions, and Espio then entered the cave, doffing his
New York Yankees hat as he did. Rhyddarch went into the cave shortly
thereafter; as the intense heat was of no detriment to him.
As Kyle and his team turned to leave, they found a shiny black
Ditto sitting in their path, a wide grin on its simple face. "Dit-to,"
the creature said, with a rather haughty accent. The gelatinous
Pokémon had what appeared to be a small ruby attached to it, where the
middle of its forehead would be.
"Check it out," Torrasque said to Kyle. "This critter has to be
With that the Ditto became a flowing, liquid mass, which began to
increase in size dramatically and take on an entirely new shape and
color. Within seconds the creature's new form became solid. It had
become a Scyther, albeit a red one. The ruby was still upon its
The Ditto was still grinning, but this time a glare was in its
eyes at the same time. Cathode saw what was about to happen and
instinctually ran, hiding inside a small bush. Torrasque, however, had
no such instincts. In one blindingly quick motion, the Ditto struck
Torrasque's chest with a powerful backhand Slash and sent him flying
backwards. The astonished Torrasque crashed into the trunk of a tree
and fell flat on his face.
"*That* was your strongest Pokémon?" the Ditto hissed at Kyle, in
a British accent comparable to Malcolm MacDowell's. "How utterly...
"What the hell...?" Kyle wondered. "Who -"
"I do not intend to waste time on trivial formalities, boy," the
Ditto snarled. "All that is important is that, for once, it seems my
master has erred. Contrary to his earlier belief, you are clearly not
worthy of joining his ranks."
"Well, my team and I will be going, then," said Kyle, as he went
to revive Torrasque.
Suddenly the Ditto ran over to Kyle from behind and got the
trainer into a headlock, putting one scythe against his jugular. "I
think not," the Ditto said plainly. "Granted, my master expects me to
bring you to him, and he is not particularly forgiving of failure.
However, seeing how pathetic you truly are, I simply can not fulfill
his demand. After all, we have standards to maintain." Thanatos
looked on, trying to telekinetically pry the Ditto away from Kyle, to
"You kill me," Kyle said, realizing where the Ditto's monologue
was headed, "and your oh-so-unforgiving master will likely kill you for
"Indeed," the Ditto laughed. "But if I were to tell him just one
facet of the truth and say your jugular was sliced open by a red
Scyther...well, I could hardly be held accountable for your death."
The Ditto tightened the headlock.
--THIS ISLAND POKÉMON--
"Y'see, that's the problem with you archvillain types," Kyle
snorted. "You're all talk." Before the Ditto knew what was happening,
Kyle fell backwards on purpose, trying to squash the Ditto underneath
him. The Ditto let go of Kyle and rolled away. Quickly Kyle hit a
button on his Pokédex and reclaimed Fenris's Pokéball from electronic
storage. Then Kyle tossed out both Fenris's and Ares's
Pokéballs. "Arcanine...Machamp...I choose you!!!"
As Thanatos flew over to Torrasque to try and get him back on his
feet, Fenris charged at the Ditto furiously and hammered him with a
Take Down attack. The Ditto slid backwards a bit, but did not fall
down. Then Ares leaped over to the Ditto-Scyther and, using one of his
famous improvised attacks, Ares grabbed the opponent by both legs and
started spinning him around like an Olympic hammer. Then Ares let go
and launched the Ditto toward the cave entrance, only to see the pseudo-
Scyther take wing and fly up into the air before hitting anything.
Thanatos tried a Psychic attack and attempted to knock the Ditto
out of the air using telekinesis. Unfortunately, it seemed the Ditto
had an intense resistance to psychic abilities. Thanatos could not
"Have a taste of true psychic power!" the Ditto snarled, as he
exhaled a multicolored Psybeam at Thanatos. Thanatos deftly dodged the
beam, only to be knocked unconscious as the blast of psi energy turned
around and hit him in the back.
Fenris tried to incinerate the pseudo-Scyther with a Flamethrower
attack, only to have the attack blocked by the Ditto's sudden use of
Light Screen. Ares attempted to latch on to the Ditto's leg and bring
him down, but he was rendered out of commission when the Ditto
lambasted him with another Psybeam. Kyle recalled the fainted Thanatos
and Ares, then sent out Grendel and
Leviathan. "Aerodactyl...Dragonite...rip 'im apart!" Kyle ordered.
Grendel flew straight up at the Ditto and attacked him with the
edge of one wing. The Ditto fell out of the air, but easily landed on
his feet. As Grendel landed, the Ditto greeted him with a mighty Slash
attack, flipping the surprised Aerodactyl over. Then Leviathan tried
to strike down the Ditto-Scyther for good with a pair of lightning
bolts, but before the electric blast could hit, the Ditto morphed into
a blue Dragonite and shrugged off the attack, taking almost no damage.
Before Leviathan could do anything else, the Ditto copied one of
Leviathan's own attacks and took Kyle's powerful Dragonite down with a
single Ice Beam. As Grendel got up and rushed toward the Ditto to Bite
him, the pseudo-Dragonite nailed Grendel with a second Ice Beam, then
put him down for the count with yet another Psybeam.
Kyle pulled Grendel and Leviathan back into their Pokéballs, and
looked over to see Torrasque at last getting up. Fenris was still in
the battle, using Agility and running away from the Ditto's Psybeam
"Fenris, Bite!" Kyle commanded. Fenris opened his jaws and
lunged at the Ditto-Dragonite, dodging another Psybeam as he latched on
to the Ditto's neck. Ditto punched Fenris repeatedly in the face, but
was unable to shake him free.
With Fenris still trying to crush his neck, the Ditto shifted into
a copper-colored Rhydon, then hit Fenris in the head with a Horn Attack
at point-blank range. Fenris came loose, and the Ditto-Rhydon stomped
on his back. Fenris stood up, tossing the Ditto away. Then Fenris
dashed toward the pseudo-Rhydon like a freight train and rammed into
him with another Take Down attack. Fenris took more damage from the
attack than the Ditto. Noticing Fenris was stunned, the Ditto hit him
in the chest with a Psybeam and took him out of the fight.
"Peh. You are completely out of your league, boy," Ditto
contemptuously snorted, shifting back into his red Scyther mode and
preparing to run Kyle through with one blade.
"Then it's time to move up to the majors, you crappy wannabe-me!"
Torrasque suddenly shouted, jump-kicking the unsuspecting Ditto in the
back. The Ditto somersaulted and whirled around to face Torrasque, and
saw him doing a short, frenetic Swords Dance.
Kyle grinned, knowing what Torrasque was about to do. "Ditto, you
might as well hit the showers now while you still have the chance."
"I will do nothing of the s-" the Ditto began. In mid-sentence,
Torrasque charged and unleashed the full fury of his signature attack,
the People's Slash, upon the villainous Ditto. The triple-hit attack
started with a right scythe-jab, continued with a left scythe-cross,
and ended with a right scythe-uppercut that launched the Ditto into the
air like a Team Rocket member. The bewildered Ditto-Scyther crashed
back to the ground seconds later with an unpleasant CRACK of crunching
For several seconds the Ditto lay on its back, showing no movement.
Torrasque was sure he had won.
But eventually Ditto got up, looking angrier than before.
Torrasque made an attempt to finish Ditto off by ramming one scythe
through his stomach, but such an attack was useless against the
gelatinous Pokémon. Ditto removed Torrasque's blade from his body and
kicked Torrasque in the face. As Torrasque was staggering, Ditto
slashed him across the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then he
stood over Torrasque with one blade raised, ready to impale Kyle's
As the blade began to fall, however, a massive blue flame blast
engulfed Ditto, lighting his entire body on fire and causing him to
shriek in agony.
From behind the rock that doubled as the cave entrance appeared
Espio. "You can sit this one out, Torrasque," Espio announced,
uncharacteristically devoid of sarcasm or humor. "The cavalry's
here." He blew a bit of Flamethrower smoke away from his index finger,
then rushed at the flaming Ditto. Espio started Slashing at Ditto
repeatedly, flaying the scaly skin from his Scyther body.
Eventually Ditto fell back and started rolling frantically on the
ground, managing to smother the flames. However, before Ditto could
get up, lunge at Espio and slice his head off, the pseudo-Scyther found
himself getting buried beneath a barrage of thrown stones that seemed
to appear out of nowhere. Rhyddarch appeared from the cave entrance
next, making a "V for victory" sign. "I learned that attack with a TM
I stole from those poachers," he explained. "Rock Slide, I think it's
Kyle, Torrasque, Espio and Rhyddarch all walked over to the pile of
stones under which Ditto lay horribly battered. "Is...is he dead?"
Suddenly there was movement, and the pile of rocks flew apart as
Ditto flung it asunder with a massive swing of both scythes. "Doesn't
*anything* stop this freak?" Torrasque wondered.
A furious Ditto dashed at Torrasque like a raging bull, but he did
not get far. Seconds before Ditto could even bring one of his blades
back, Cathode leaped out of his hiding spot and latched on to Ditto's
head like an alien facehugger. Frenzied, Ditto started swinging his
blades around wildly, trying to skewer the electric blue rodent.
Cathode responded by shouting out "Pikaaa!!!" and sending an electric
current through Ditto that fried him like a bugzapper would. Ditto
stood perfectly still for several seconds, then fell flat on his face,
finally down. Cathode, panting heavily, leaped from Ditto to
"Way to go! I didn't know you had it in you," Torrasque said to
"Pi...ka...chu..." Cathode slowly responded, trying to regain his
The group watched as the fake Scyther melted down into a gelatinous
mass, then reformed into the black Ditto it had been originally. "This
is but a hollow victory for you, boy," the Ditto laughed at Kyle. "The
events that have been set into motion can not be stopped...and next
time we meet, all of you are destined for oblivion's cold, eternal
embrace! So swears Proteus!!!" Then the enigmatic Ditto vanished in a
flash of purple light, leaving no trace of its existence.
"This Pokémon journey just got a whole lot weirder," Torrasque
Kyle turned to Espio and Rhyddarch. "How did you know we were
under attack? I saw you both go into that cave."
"We didn't know ye were under attack, laddie," Rhyddarch
responded. "We just exited the cave and found you battling a red
"But why did you leave the cave?" Torrasque asked.
Espio's expression became somber. "My parents...and my entire
family...are gone. Rhyddarch and I went into the cave, and there was
no one there. The place looked like it had been raided. There were
bullet holes in the walls, impact craters on the ground, dried blood
everywhere..." Espio stopped and brushed at his eyes, this time wiping
away real tears.
"As best we can figure, lad," Rhyddarch took over, "his family was
murdered by poachers some time ago. There were trails of blood leading
out of the cave; the poachers were probably planning to stuff and sell
the carcasses on the black market."
"The good-for-nothing bastards!!!" Torrasque roared. "I oughta
string their guts up on a fence!"
"There's nothing we can do," Espio sighed sadly. "Any scent or
trail they may have left has long since vanished. And now I'm
officially orphaned..." Espio tried hard to hold any further tears
For a while there was silence, save for Espio's crying. No one
knew what to say. Rhyddarch tried to comfort Espio, to no avail.
Finally Espio piped up over his sobbing, "Kyle, I...I want to
continue traveling with you, if you'll take me back. There's
nothing...there's nothing left for me here but a bunch of bad
"There's always room for one more Pokémon on the team," Kyle
said. He recalled the fainted Fenris, then returned him to cyberspace
Espio, a slight smile returning to his face, rushed over to Kyle.
"...Right with ya, Kyle," he said. "So...where are we going next?"
"Well, we're going to wait here a little while for Grendel to
regain enough consciousness to fly, and then we're off on a long flight
to Celadon City to get a Rainbowbadge. And you came back at just the
right time. Dealing with grass Pokémon is your specialty, I'm sure..."
Espio saluted, the last of his tears rolling down from his
eyes. "That badge is as good as yours, Commander."
With that, Kyle, Torrasque, Cathode and Espio waved farewell to
Rhyddarch, wandered back to the shore of Pokémon Island, and just sat
down in the sand, admiring the pre-dawn sky.
That was actually short for one of my fanfics. ^_^
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Awesome! I'm poisonous! Those idiots who work
at McDonald's won't forget to give me napkins and
fancy ketchup ever again..." --Torrasque
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