Subject: [PW!][NC] MAGIKARP!
Date: Sunday, June 06, 1999 5:05 PM
John woke up on his tenth birthday ready to get his pokémon. He quickly
got dressed and hoped Prof. Oak still had his favorite Pokémon available.
He practically ran to the Professor's lab.
"Sorry I'm late Professor Oak..."
"You're not late John, your the first one here! I assume you'll want to
pick the best pokémon available!"
"Of course! I wouldn't be stupid and get an Abra, Metapod, or Kakuna!
I want the best pokémon I've ever heard of. Even better than the three
Professor Oak knew what John wanted and what he'd have to say.
"I'm sorry John, but it's hard to..."
Professor Oak was cut off by John continuing on.
"I want a MAGIKARP!"
Professor Oak was caught quite offguard on this selection and proceded
to say, "You want Magikarp? You can have not just one, not just two, but
all one hundred of my Magikarp!"
Ever since he was a baby, John loved Magikarp and thought they were the
coolest pokémon in the world. He knew they would try to evolve into
Gyaradoses, but he would make sure they stay magikarp. He wanted to be a
Magikarp Master and Expert. The only way to become a Magikarp master, in
his opinion, was to lose to as many people as possible.
He left Pallet with a gleam of hope in his eye. He continued past
Viridian as quickly as possible to try to lose to Brock. He eventually got
to the Pewter City Gym. On one pillar in front of it, It said:
GRAND PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEAT BROCK!
AND 19,437,598,274 OTHERS
On the other pillar it said:
PEOPLE WHO LOST TO BROCK:
Mikey was his most evil enemy and Professor Oak's cousin's brother's
father's mother's stepson's cousin twice-removed's son's niece's husband's
son. He wanted to become a Magikarp Master too. Professor Oak apparently
saved a Magikarp for him. John entered the gym and lost. He lost with all
his Magikarp, 16,755 times in a row, until he heard of the Magikarp Gym in
Pallet Town. He had to lose to the gym trainer there to be the best
Magikarp trainer. He walked back to Pallet Town and there was the gym. It
GYM LEADER MIKEY!
Mikey was a gym leader? John was mad and had to lose to him. He
"Hello John. One-on-one? I got my worst Magikarp right here:
Unfortunately, Magikr*p knew tackle, and Mikey assumed that all of
John's were more powerful, so he used tackle, which fainted John's worst
Magikarp. John was now the best Magikarp trainer in the land! Even signs
DON'T BATTLE JOHN! HE'LL BECOME MORE POWERFUL!
(Magikarps saying "Magikarp, Karp, Magikarp!" as opposed to applause)
Yes, Magikr*p's name is pronounced MAA-JIH-KRAHS-TER-IHSK-PEE, or