From: Pipian <pipian@mindspring.com> Subject: [PW!][NC] MAGIKARP! Date: Sunday, June 06, 1999 5:05 PM John woke up on his tenth birthday ready to get his pokémon. He quickly got dressed and hoped Prof. Oak still had his favorite Pokémon available. He practically ran to the Professor's lab. "Sorry I'm late Professor Oak..." "You're not late John, your the first one here! I assume you'll want to pick the best pokémon available!" "Of course! I wouldn't be stupid and get an Abra, Metapod, or Kakuna! I want the best pokémon I've ever heard of. Even better than the three birds!" Professor Oak knew what John wanted and what he'd have to say. "I'm sorry John, but it's hard to..." Professor Oak was cut off by John continuing on. "I want a MAGIKARP!" Professor Oak was caught quite offguard on this selection and proceded to say, "You want Magikarp? You can have not just one, not just two, but all one hundred of my Magikarp!" "Yay!" Ever since he was a baby, John loved Magikarp and thought they were the coolest pokémon in the world. He knew they would try to evolve into Gyaradoses, but he would make sure they stay magikarp. He wanted to be a Magikarp Master and Expert. The only way to become a Magikarp master, in his opinion, was to lose to as many people as possible. He left Pallet with a gleam of hope in his eye. He continued past Viridian as quickly as possible to try to lose to Brock. He eventually got to the Pewter City Gym. On one pillar in front of it, It said: GRAND PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEAT BROCK! GARY OAK ASH KETCHUM AND 19,437,598,274 OTHERS On the other pillar it said: PEOPLE WHO LOST TO BROCK: MIKEY: ONCE Mikey was his most evil enemy and Professor Oak's cousin's brother's father's mother's stepson's cousin twice-removed's son's niece's husband's son. He wanted to become a Magikarp Master too. Professor Oak apparently saved a Magikarp for him. John entered the gym and lost. He lost with all his Magikarp, 16,755 times in a row, until he heard of the Magikarp Gym in Pallet Town. He had to lose to the gym trainer there to be the best Magikarp trainer. He walked back to Pallet Town and there was the gym. It said: MAGIKARP GYM: GYM LEADER MIKEY! Mikey was a gym leader? John was mad and had to lose to him. He entered. "Hello John. One-on-one? I got my worst Magikarp right here: Magikr*p." Unfortunately, Magikr*p knew tackle, and Mikey assumed that all of John's were more powerful, so he used tackle, which fainted John's worst Magikarp. John was now the best Magikarp trainer in the land! Even signs say: DON'T BATTLE JOHN! HE'LL BECOME MORE POWERFUL! The End (Magikarps saying "Magikarp, Karp, Magikarp!" as opposed to applause) Yes, Magikr*p's name is pronounced MAA-JIH-KRAHS-TER-IHSK-PEE, or Magikrasterisk p.