From: Karnivax
Subject: [PW!] A Shard of Decency (ATTN: Shard Fields)
Date: Thursday, July 22, 1999 4:43 PM
Yeah, Shard, I finally got around to typing this up...
Grendel the Aerodactyl lazily began to descend upon the home of
Bill, the "certified Pokémaniac." As Grendel headed downward, one of
his passengers - Kyle - turned to look at the other passenger - Jessica.
"Refresh my memory, Jess," Kyle said. "Why are we visiting Bill?"
"Oh, uh...right," Jessica stammered, still trying to keep her
status as a were-Scyther hidden from Kyle. She quickly made up an
explanation which was not at all far from the truth. "He - he wants me
to test out a brand-new machine of his."
Grendel touched ground, and as Kyle dismounted from the
Aerodactyl, he remarked, "*That's* the good news you were so happy
about? What if the machine's faulty or something?"
"Bill's machines have never screwed up before," Jessica lied,
looking off in another direction. She got off of Grendel, and then
Kyle recalled the shy Aerodactyl. Torrasque, along with Cathode the
Pikachu, landed next.
Thanatos landed last, pointing skyward and babbling, "Gengar, gen -
gar gen. Gar."
"Torrasque, what did he say?" Kyle asked.
Torrasque responded, "He says it's going to rain."
"Pi, ka?" Cathode queried, looking up at the gray sky.
Sure enough, seconds later, there was a loud clap of thunder, and
the dark clouds above proceeded to very rapidly unleash a powerful
thunderstorm upon the world below. Jessica ran up and knocked on the
door to Bill's house, and eventually the door opened up. A young green-
haired engineer stood in the doorway.
"Jessica! You made it! Great!" Bill greeted. "And I see you've
brought a few friends. Come on in out of the rain..." He opened the
door as wide as it would open. Kyle and crew, already soaked, quickly
headed into the building.
"How's it going, Bill?" Jessica queried.
"Eh, we can do the small talk thing later. Let's get right down
to business, shall we?" Bill suggested. He led Jessica over to the
pair of Telepods that he had spent a large part of his life working
on. "I've recently modified my Telepods to remove specific types of
foreign DNA. Just the thing to cure your -"
Jessica cut Bill off before he could finish his thought. "Let's
give it a shot." She winked at Bill, hoping he would understand why
she had interrupted. He did not.
"Just the thing to cure your *what*, Jessica?" Kyle asked,
raising one eyebrow.
Jessica was nonplussed. She tried to think of the name of some
affliction, but none came to her. Sweat broke out on her face.
"Her asthma!" Torrasque broke in. Jessica shot Torrasque a very
surprised glance. "Jess confided in me that she had asthma, but...I
just couldn't keep it a secret any longer," Torrasque fibbed.
"That's right!" Jessica agreed, figuring Torrasque's story seemed
plausible enough. It was then that Bill realized just why Jessica was
lying. He surmised that Kyle did not know about Jessica's true
condition, and Jessica wanted it to stay that way.
"This machine can cure asthma?" Kyle asked dubiously, pointing at
one of the Telepods.
Bill looked over and saw Torrasque and Jessica subtly nodding
their heads. "Yeah, isn't technology great?" Bill responded, tugging
at the collar of his hooded sweatshirt.
Kyle still did not seem to believe his colleagues, but suddenly his
thoughts were diverted. "Hmmm, I'd better let Espio out...he seemed
pretty down about his loss to Sabrina. Knowing him, he's probably
trying to commit suicide from inside his Pokéball..." Kyle threw a
Pokéball, and his white Charmeleon, Espio, came out, still looking
beaten from his fight against Sabrina's Alakazam. Kyle had not had
time to stop at a Pokécenter to get Espio back to full health.
"Where the hell are we?" Espio asked, his voice weak.
"This is Bill's house, near Cerulean City," Kyle
explained. "Apparently we're here to cure Jessica's asthma..." He
idly motioned toward the pair of Telepods.
"What, with these fruity-looking things?" Espio wandered over to
the left Telepod and stepped inside the cylindrical device. "It looks
like a giant soda can with a door," he remarked. "How's this thing
supposed to cure asthma?" On the way out of the Telepod, Espio
accidentally banged his tail against the inside of the machine. A tiny
scale chipped off of Espio's tail and fell to the floor of the
Telepod.
"If I could explain the process to you without having to go into
the more contrived areas of genetics, I would," Bill responded. "Now
Jessica, please, step into the Telepod." Jessica entered the left
Telepod, nervously anticipating the end of her Scyther
transformations. "I've set this machine to eradicate Scyther DNA,"
Bill whispered to Jessica. "Once you reappear in the other Telepod,
there shouldn't be any Pokémon DNA left in you."
"I'm ready! Start the machine!" Jessica commanded, a wide grin
on her face. She shut the door to the Telepod.
Bill walked over to the control panel for the Telepods. He
flicked a few switches, keyed in a sequence of numbers and letters on a
keypad, then flipped up a small panel and hit a round, red button. The
machine started whirring and clunking loudly. Jessica started glowing,
and then she dematerialized completely. Seconds later, she
rematerialized in the other Telepod. Bill went over to open the door
to let Jessica out when suddenly an alarm went off. He ran back over
to the control panel and looked at the readouts. His eyes
widened. "No...this can't be happening," he said quietly.
Kyle and Torrasque walked over to the control panel and stood
alongside Bill. "What's the problem?" Torrasque asked.
"Somehow some other foreign DNA was in the Telepod," Bill
replied. "But I don't know how it could have gotten there! I swear, I
completely cleaned out the Telepods this morning!"
"So what does that mean for Jessica?" Kyle wondered. Kyle never
got a chance to find out. Just then, the control panel started
rumbling. A burst of sparks fired from it, followed by a powerful
electrical surge which jolted Bill, Kyle, and Torrasque. Kyle and
Torrasque bashed their heads against a lab desk as they fell backwards,
thus getting knocked out cold. Bill fell straight to the floor, and
was barely conscious.
Jessica kicked the door to the Telepod open and rushed over to
Bill. She was about to ask him if he was okay when Espio
remarked, "Jessica? I don't mean to scare you, but...I think your rear
end is on fire..."
Jessica turned her head and noticed that a hole had been ripped in
the back of her denim shorts by the growth of a new appendage. Jessica
had grown a tail.
But not just any tail. She had grown a long, white, dry,
reptilian tail, with a bright blue flame burning at its
tip. "Eeeeekkk!!!" Jessica cried. "Espio, what did you do?!"
"Somehow his DNA (urk) got into the Telepod," Bill moaned. "I
think I can (gack) undo it, but the machine's shorted out...I need
(ungh) some replacement parts...get a (cough) notepad and pen from off
of the lab desk..." Jessica went over to the lab desk Torrasque and
Kyle lay under and grabbed the first piece of paper and the first pen
she saw. She gave them to Bill, and Bill scrawled the name of a few
devices Jessica had never heard of on the piece of paper. "The (urk)
Cerulean City Pokémart should sell this stuff...send the Gengar to get
(ungh) everything. If you try to go out there yourself...urrrgggh..."
Then Bill passed out.
"They don't even allow Pokémon in that store!" Jessica pointed
out. "I'll have to go there myself, rain or no rain...I'll just sprint
the whole way..." Jessica quickly checked Kyle and Torrasque, and
found that they had not suffered any serious head injuries.
"Take it from someone who knows - you'd be lucky to last more than
ten minutes in this kind of downpour," Espio warned. "I think you
should just wait until the storm dies down."
Just then, the front door of the building burst open. Standing in
the doorway, getting soaked by the rain, was a familiar green-haired
boy and an equally familiar Jigglypuff couple. The male Jigglypuff was
carrying a brand-new sledgehammer.
Jessica's mouth went agape. "...Shard?! What are you doing
here?!"
Shard Fields grinned. "I'm here to lend a hand, as a matter of
fact," he answered. "I was outside watching the goings-on here from
one of the windows, and I couldn't help but notice that you need help
getting to the Cerulean City Pokémart. So, being the kind gentleman
that I truly am, I'll go to the Pokémart for you."
"You, help *us*?" Jessica asked. "You're up to something.
What's your angle, Shard?"
"I'd say it's a 'right' angle." Shard walked over to the fallen
Kyle, rapidly reached into the pockets of Kyle's jeans, and eventually
pulled out Kyle's wallet. Shard opened up the wallet and started
looking through it. "I'll even pay for the replacement parts...with
Kyle's credit card."
"Yeah, right. Like I'm going to let a Team Rocket member waltz
into a store unattended with Kyle's card," Jessica snapped. "Thanks
for the offer, but I'm going."
"Heck, we'll all go!" Shard chuckled. "It'd be a fun little night
walk...for Banshee, Melodia, and I, at least. For you it'd probably be
a suicide mission."
"I'll take that risk, thank you very much," Jessica shot back.
"Well, have it your way then," Shard replied. "Come on." With
that, Shard, Banshee, Melodia, and Jessica headed out into the pouring
rain, leaving Espio, Cathode, and Thanatos in the lab to try and revive
Bill, Kyle, and Torrasque.
There ya go, Goola.
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the
former." --Albert Einstein
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