Subject: [PW!] Mewtwo Finds a Friend
Date: 07 Jul 1999 22:28:29 GMT
From: nmvds@aol.computers (Spawn)
> "Hey Mark, you hungry?" Steve asked.
> "Not really," Mark replied.
> "Well, I think I'm going to go to Brock's Diner," Steve told him.
"Karen,
>you
>want to come?"
> "Sure," she replied.
> "Okay," Mark began, "I'll meet you there later."
> Karen and Steve walked away from Mark's Garage and towards Brock's
Diner.
Suddenly along the way, they heard something in the background:
"NO YOU STUPID BASTARD I WILL NOT LET YOU BLOW UP BROCK'S DINER!!!" shouted
someone who sounded incredibly loud and obnoxious.
"Well, boo hoo, I'm going to do it anyway," said a second voice. "Unless...
of course, you find a convenient way to stop me? Say those overblown psychic
powers that you just discovered you have?"
"You know, that voice sounds familiar..." said Karen. "Could it be?"
"CUT!!!" yelled a third voice. "You're holding anti-Mewtwo Phaser gun
backwards!"
"DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME, YOU LOUSY SON OF A %$#@&!!!" the obnoxious voice
continued. "I'VE BEEN TOLD I'M A PRETTY DAMN INTERESTING CHARACTER IN MY
OPINION AND I DESERVE RESPECT!!!"
"Excuse me, excuse me," the second voice continued, "what's my motivation?"
"Motivation?" asked the third voice as if he never heard of the word before.
"WHAT the hell is that?"
"Why do I want to blow up this Diner?" the second voice asked.
"Oooohhhhh..." the third voice exclaimed. "Well, basically, you're Mewtwo.
And, uh, you're evil. And... well... if you didn't try to blow up Brock's
Diner, I would actually have to be creative and think of new and original
stories on my own. And I don't want to put myself on the line by trying to
actually thinking on my own or having simple characters who don't have an
excuse to use excessive psychic to show how I'm good at making super powerful
folks."
"Mewtwo?" said Steve as he and Karen rushed to see what was going on. It was
just another story arc being written and directed by a guy named Joe Average
writing about his character "Joe."
"Oh, the pain!" Mewtwo shouted. "The pain of it all! I've become a victim of
typecasting!"
"Hey, stop complaining!" the Director replied. "Now, in the next scene, Joe
is going to merge with a few Pokemon that'll combine with his already psychic
powers and give him magic/ghost/electric/ground/fire/flight/water/psychic
powers as well as the ability to stop time. When he combines, he can then
summon up Captain Planet."
"Mewtwo, how are you, buddy?" Steve interrupted.
"STEVEN!!!" Mewtwo replied joyfully.
"HEY, WHO THE HELL IS THIS JERK?!?" yelled Joe. "I'LL RIP HIM LIMB FROM LIMB
IF HE TRIES TO RUIN THIS NEXT SCENE!!!"
"Does he... always talk like that?" Karen had to asked.
"Unfortunately, yes." Mewtwo sighed. "The Director thinks this form of
dialogue is dramatic."
"Why don't you stop inside Brock's Diner with us and take a break?" Steve
suggested.
"I could use a drink..." Mewtwo admitted.
"Well, then, come on," Steve gestured.
"HEY, WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TAKING HIM, YOU @$$HOLE!!!!" yelled
the obnoxious person. "DON'T MAKE ME USE MY CRAZY MAGICAL PSYCHICALLY CHARGED
POWERS ON YOU AND CAUSE A HOLE IN THE TIME SPACE CONTINUUM RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE
STANDING!!!"
"You think you're pretty damn impressive with those powers, don't you?" Steve
asked.
"HELL YA!!!" he responded.
"Let me just tell you that you're not impressing anyone," Steve replied.
"YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS YOU DON'T HAVE THE MAD SKILLS I DO!!!" he shouted.
"SPAWN," Steve smiled as he flipped open his Pokedex, "if you wanted to give
me psychic/magical/electric powers equal to his, how hard would that be?"
"You mean IF I wanted to give you psychic powers?" SPAWN, the artificial
intelligence computer in his car, replied.
"Yeah," Steve replied.
"I could do it without too much difficulty at all," SPAWN replied.
"See?" Steve laughed. "SPAWN could give me equal powers without too much
difficulty at all.
"BUT STILL!!!" the person continued, "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING THAT PIECE
OF GENETIC SLUDGE?!? HE'S EVIL AND GROTESQUE AND I NEED TO SHOW THAT I CAN
TAKE HIM DOWN IN MY NEXT STORY TO DISPLAY THE FACT I HAVE THE SKILLS TO PAY THE
BILLS!!!"
"Far away from your treachery and overall bad writing," Karen replied as she
began to enter the Diner. "And stop yelling."
"HEY, YOU GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE @%$!!!" he continued. That comment
almost sent her running after him. That's when Steve stopped her.
"He's not worth it," he smiled, "we'll just MST3K his story after it's
finished."
****************
"It's been a long time," Steve smiled as he walked in.
"Yes, it has, Steven," Mewtwo smiled back, "perhaps... too long."
"Do you want to want to be seated at the Pokemon or the non-Pokemon section?"
asked the lady at the counter.
"Pokemon," Steve responded.
"So Mewtwo," Karen began to ask, "what have you been up to?"
"Well, let's see..." Mewtwo said as he acted out all the past events since
they last met in his head. "5 new characters I have a psychic link to. 14
attempts of mine to brainwash others. 7 storylines involving hiring people to
help me destroy Team Rocket. 8 people who just learned they were psychic and
who are using that psychic power against me. 12 people who I hired to be my
henchmen. 4 people who just turned into Pokemon and are using their powers
against me. 1 potential rodent who might use his magical Pikachu powers
against me. 0 people who tried to understand me or give me a motivation. All
in all, a slow day."
"How do you find the time to do all that?" Steve asked.
"I don't have a choice," Mewtwo complained. "It's The Anti-Mewtwo Crew.
They're out to get me. They stalk me day and night and then they put me in
their stories. THEY make me do evil things. They somehow take control over my
actions, and... and... I don't want to discuss it."
"Taking control of you actions?" asked SPAWN through Steve's Pokedex. "Aren't
you being a tad paranoid?"
"You're in on it, aren't you?" Mewtwo suddenly yelled. "You're in on it,
SPAWN. Maybe not with "them," but how do I know you aren't controlling my
actions anyway."
"Trust me, I'm not..." SPAWN insisted.
"Well, I guess that's all I needed to hear," said Mewtwo confidently. "Why
does everyone think I'm evil? Oh god, I've been typecasted as a villain! I'm
going to be the Christopher Walken of PokeWars!"
"It can't be that bad, can it?" Karen asked.
"Do you know what it's like when everyone hates you?" Mewtwo replied with a
certain sadness in his eyes. "No reason, but they simply do?"
"I'm guessing I did, once..." Steve replied. "Before I lost my memory. Or at
least that's what I can gather from what everyone wrote in my yearbook. I
guess I've always been alienated."
"What'd they write?" Karen asked, concerned.
"Let's not get into that," Steve shuddered.
And then Karen realized something.
"I guess I've always been 'different' too..." she lamented.
"What do you mean?" Steve asked.
"Well, when I was little, I was known as the local brainiac..." she began to
explain. "I was always a little smarter than my classmates. I guess because
my grandfather is a well known professor. And the kids would feel intimidated
by that. And then one day, something happened..."
"What?" Steve asked.
"Gary became the Pokemon League Champion," Karen sighed. "And then I started
having to live in his shadow. It was bad enough with the Cheerleaders and all
that stuff. But the fact that everyone in school would compare me to Gary was
unbearable. He was only Champion for a week or so before Ash Kethum came
along. But the damage was done."
"I never realized that it was like this for you," Steve admitted.
"I guess I kept it bottled up inside all this time," Karen explained.
"Why do you think it is that everyone hate me?" Mewtwo asked.
"We don't hate you," Karen insisted.
"People can be cruel," Steve replied.
"Aint that the truth?" Mewtwo replied bitterly as he took another swig of his
beer. "But seriously. What makes me one of the most hated beings in all of
history?"
"People fear what they don't understand," Steve replied as began to eat his
meal containing non-Pokemon products. "'To be great is to be misunderstood.'
Ralph Waldo Emerson."
"This Emerson fellow sounds like a wise man," said Mewtwo, "like he could
understand my plight."
"He probably could," Steve smiled.
"Where could I meet him?" Mewtwo asked.
"He's been dead for a while," Steve replied. "We know him now only through
documentation."
"Oh," Mewtwo answered, disappointed. "Documentation, huh?"
"I have an idea!" Karen suddenly exclaimed as she flipped open her Pokedex.
"SPAWN, go through your database of news clippings and find out why people seem
to dislike Mewtwo so much."
SPAWN obeyed. In two minutes, he came back from the results.
"Apparently, a few years ago he ravaged a lab in Cinnabar," SPAWN answered.
"It was the first time I woke up--EVER!!!" Mewtwo exclaimed. "So sue me if I
were a little grouchy."
"Down boy," Steve replied.
"Steve," Mewtwo said as he calmed down. By now he was a little depressed.
"Do you know what's its like to feel trapped inside of a place, with no prior
understanding of how you got there?"
And then Steve realized it. The connection he felt to Mewtwo extended far
more deeply than being a drinking buddy. They were both peas in the same pod.
Two lost souls. Mewtwo was raised in a lab. He was confused. Trapped.
Steve's earliest clear memory was being stuck in a block of ice. Gil Bates had
attacked him with an Alakazam, and Steve didn't have any earlier recollections.
He was also confused. Also trapped. For Mewtwo, however, it was much worse.
For him, the lab technicians who placed imprisoned him were always nearby, as
if teasing him. Taunting him. Constantly torturing him.
"As a matter of fact," Steve sighed, "yes."
"Then you can understand why I was upset?" Mewtwo asked with a slight sense of
happiness now that someone finally could understood him. Could relate to him.
"When a human child is born, brought into the world for the first time, they
may behave irrationally. The parents may complain that raising a child in this
state of infancy is a hassle. For me, when I was brought into the world for
the first time, it was no different. Except for that I was born with powers
far beyond what the lab could comprehend."
"There is also a report that you once lured a bunch of Pokemon trainers what
they believed to be a tournament only to make them fight their clones," SPAWN
added.
"That was a long time ago!" Mewtwo insisted. "They shouldn't even have any
accounts of that--for reasons I won't get into. But I sure got over the
experience and left everything as it was before they arrive. Why can't anyone
else get over it?"
"Why did you do it?" Karen asked.
"I wasn't always this way..." Mewtwo began. "At one time, I wasn't so much
against the idea of Pokemon trainers and battles. I even participated in them
myself. Until Giovanni came along. And he betrayed me. And everything
changed."
"You poor thing..." Karen said as she realized his plight. "And you've been
carrying a grudge against Giovanni all this time?"
"Can you blame me?" he asked. Karen shook her head. "The unfortunate thing
is that I'll never be able to overthrow Team Rocket anyway."
"Why?" Steve asked.
"The same reason Gilligan never leaves the Island or Brain never takes over
the world," Mewtwo explained. "But these authors keep having me try, futile as
it may be. In a future story, 'Giovanni,' and I use that name loosely, tries to
blow up the world."
"Why?" Steve asked.
"The same reason I tried to blow up this Diner," Mewtwo explained, "so that
the future writers of 'Speed 3' can make stories to inflate their own egos at
the expense of logic."
"So who is behind it?" Steve asked.
"Who else?" Mewtwo laughed. "Icy. The little psycho is trying to throw the
world into chaos to pamper his own ego. I could assure you that there would be
no Doomsday Saga if not for him."
"Shouldn't we do something to stop him?" Steve asked.
"Nah, only Icy is allowed to be hero," Mewtwo explained. "I guess it's like
Star Wars where Darth Vader realizes it's fault that Luke is suffering and
kills that Emperor guy. You know, villain being the only one capable of saving
the day in the end. He wants to be the hero who parades around like a white
knight for averting a catastrophe. Never mind that he created the catastrophe
in the first place."
"Are you sure we shouldn't panic?" Karen asked. "I mean, we are discussing
the potential end of the world. Realistically, panicking would ensue."
"Hey, the last thing we need in this Doomsday Saga is anything realistic,"
Mewtwo smiled as he began to take on a sarcastic tone. "If there was any
realism, I would stop Team Rocket on my own instead of giving Icy superpowers
to do it for me."
"Why don't you?" Steve asked.
"Because no one would trust me, I guess..." Mewtwo lamented.
"As opposed to a talking rodent?" Steve asked, confused.
"THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HIM!!!" Mewtwo yelled when he realized someone was finally
understanding his side of the story. "But Icy disagreed and said everyone saw
me as "evil" and wouldn't take me seriously when I said Team Rocket
participated in *shock* illegal things. Of course, realistically I could use
my powers of transformation in order to look like someone the people WOULD
trust, but than that would mean Icy couldn't be the hero. And he would no
longer have an excuse to have his funky psychic electric powers. And we
couldn't have that, can we?"
No one was sure how to answer. Mewtwo began to continue.
"Not that it matters. Destroying Team Rocket, as I said before, is futile."
"You know, it's funny..." Karen commented. "People think you're a machine or
something that's only bent up on the destruction of things. Don't they realize
that you have feelings? That you feel love and anguish and sadness and pain
and happiness just as anyone else?"
"Apparently not," Mewtwo commented. "They think what I need is people to help
me destroy organizations like Team Rocket. That I am fixated on destruction
and revenge and my only concern is finding people to help. I'm MEWTWO! I need
henchmen to do my work about as much as NATO needs spit wads. I guess what
I've always needed is simpler than a few henchman. What I've always needed is
just... well..."
Mewtwo began to drift of as he became less and less comfortable about opening
himself up.
"A friend?" Karen asked as she opened up her arms.
"A friend," Mewtwo replied as he hugged her. Steve smiled as he watched the
two, and in the distance the song "Everybody Hurts" began to play on the
Jukebox.
-Spawn
"Wise Pokemon trainers never get involved in a cat fight" -Brock
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