Subject: [PW] [HUMOUR] Rafael goes to the Pokecentre
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 12:48:37 GMT
From: funkysi@my-deja.com
Organization: Deja.com - Share what you know. Learn what you don't.
Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon
Note to Americans and other aliens: If you don't watch Monty Python's
Flying Circus then you won't get this and I don't care. Beedle is the
Japanese name for Weedle, btw.
[The scene: a peaceful pokemon centre. The door bursts in, revealing a
tall, slim, brown-haired trainer in white overalls with a large red R
sewn into the front.]
Rafael: Roketto Dan sanjo! Shiroi Ashita Da!
Joy: Can I help you?
R: Yes. I would like to purchase a Magicarp license.
J: I'm sorry?
R: A license for my Magicarp, Eric. I chose him out of thousands. He
wasn't like the others, they were all too flat.
J: You must be a loony.
R: I am not a loony! Why should I be tied to the epithet "Loony" merely
because I have a pet Magicarp? I've heard tell that Giovanni has a
Caterpie called Simon, you wouldn't call him a loony. Furthermore, Lance
of the Elite Four has two Lickitungs, both called Chris, and James had a
Magicarp too! SO, if you're asking me to call the most shining example
of vanity in our times a loony, I SHALL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO STEP OUTSIDE!
J: Allright, Allright. I license?
R: Yes.
J: For your Magicarp?
R: Yes.
J: You *are* a loony.
R: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me
Growlith, Eric, and I've got a license for me Mewtwo, Eric.
J: You don't need a Mewtwo license.
R: I bleeding well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there.
J: There is no such thing as a bloody Mewtwo license!
R: Yes there is!
J: No there isn't!
R: Is!
J: Isn't!
R: Is!
J: Isn't!
R: I've bleeding GOT one, LOOK!
[Unfolds paper]
R: What's this?
J: It's a dog license with the word "Dog" crossed out and "Cat" written
in in crayon.
R: (Evasively) The man didn't have the right form.
J: *What* man?
R: The man from the Mewtwo detector van.
J: The loony detector van, you mean.
R: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
J: What Mewtwo detector van?
R: The Mewtwo detector van from the Pokemon Reeegu.
J: Reeegu?
R: (Defensively) IT WAS SPELLED LIKE THAT ON THE VAN! The man said their
equipment could pinpoint a purr at eight yards, and Eric, being such a
happy Mewtwo, was a piece of cake.
J: How much did you pay for this?
R: Errrr... sixty dollars and ten for the Spearow.
J: What Spearow?
R: Eric the Spearow.
J: Are all your Pokemon called Eric?
R: There's nothing so odd about that. Proffesor Oak has an entire Krabby
farm called Abdul.
J: No he doesn't.
R: Does!
J: Doesn't.
R: Does does does does does and does! Look!
[Holds out his Pokedex]
J: I owe you an apology, sir.
R: Spoke like a true lady. Now, are you going to give me a Magicarp
license or what?
J: Look, I promise you. There is no such thing. You don't *need* one.
R: Very well. Then give me a Beedle license.
J: (Losing it) I license for your pet Beedle!?
R: Yes.
J: Called Eric!? Eric the Beedle!?
R: No.
J: NO?
R: No. Eric the half-Beedle. He had an accident.
J: You're off your chump.
R: Look, if you wish to imply by that utilisation of an obscure
colloquialism that the sanity of Team Rocket members is not up to
scratch, or indeed to deny the semi-existance of my little chum Eric the
half-Beedle, I shall have to ask you to listen to this! Take it away,
Eric the Gameboy soundchip!
[Ahem.]
Half a Beedle, philosophicallydle, must ipso-fact half *not* bedle.
But half the Beedle has got to *bedle*, vis-a-vidle it's entitydle.
Do you seedle?
But can the Beedle be said to bedle or not to bedle an entire Beedle,
When half the Beedle is not a Beedle, owing to some ancient injurydle?
Singing.
[Music plays from nowhere. The assemble pokemon form a dancing chorus
line in the foreground, while black-clothed TR members form a can-can
line in the back and join in the song.]
Lah-de-deedle! One-two-threedle!
Eric the half a Beedle!
A-B-C-D-E-F-Gdle,
Eric the half a Beedle!
Is this a wretched demi-Beedle,
Half-asleep upon my Kneedle?
Some FREAK from Cinnabar laboratorydle?
NO!
It's Eric the half a Beedle!
Fiddle-de-dum, fiddle-de-deedle,
Eric the half a Beedle!
Ho ho ho! Tee-hee-heedle!
Eric, the half a Beedle!
I live the forest employeedle,
Bisected accidentallydle,
One summer afternoon by me-dle
I love him! Carnally-dle.
(He loves him, carnally-dle!)
(Semi-carnally-dle!)
R: The end.
J: Cyril Connoly?
R: No, semi-carnally.
J: Oh.
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