Subject: [PW!] Shorts? Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 14:05:02 -0500 From: Zagro <zagro@att.net> Reply-To: caribou911@hotmail.com Organization: AT&T WorldNet Services Newsgroups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon Coming out of the forest Zagro spotted the edge of Viridian City. He started off towards his house when an annoying nasally voice yelled at him to stop. "You're not wearing shorts!" A small kid wearing a red-and-white striped shirt and pink shorts ran up. "You must wear shorts!" "Uh... I don't have any shorts with me. Sorry. Who are you, anyway?" "I am..." the kid struck a dramatic pose, "Shorts Kid!" A trumpet fanfare sounded out of nowhere. Zagro backed away. "Ummm... 'Shorts Kid', you're starting to scare me." "A pokemon match! We must battle!" "Have you been smoking Oddishes lately?" "If you win, I will leave you alone and never come back! But if I win, you must wear... THESE!" He pulled out a pair of white shorts with multicolored happy faces on them. "Yes, wear them... for ALL ETERNITY!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!" Zagro backed away further, now very worried for this kid's mental health. "No thanks, I don't fight psychopaths." "Chicken!! Pants... wearing... chicken!!" "OK! Geez! Fine, I'll kick your butt!" "Bwahahaha!! Now face my wrath! Drowzee, go!" A Drowzee appeared, wearing blue shorts with read hearts. Zagro shook his head. "You are truly messed up. Caterpie, go! Use your String Shot!" Caterpie formed, but just lay on the ground, looking dead. "Caterpie? Caterpie, are you all right?" Zagro lay his head to Caterpie's chest. There were numerous heartbeats. "Oh my Goddish, I think she's..." <DRAMATIC PAUSE... OR WOULD IT BE A PREGNANT PAUSE? *rimshot*> "Pregnant! Caterpie, return, you can't fight like this. 'Goddish', go!" Goddish looked up at Zagro, looking even more unhappy than usual. "What dost thou want?" "I don't know... smite his Pokemon, or something cool. You're Goddish, you fight!" Goddish teared up. "I... I... I CAN'T!!" He burst into tears. Zagro bent down and patted his head. "It's okay, you don't have to. Goddish, return." Shorts Kid Bwahahaed. "Do I have to fight anything, or will you concede?" "Not so fast. Clefairy, Jigglypuff, go!" Puffers and Fuzz appeared, and instantly cuddled up to Zagro, each trying to out-cute each other. Somehow within seconds they were fighting each other, trying to de-cute the other. Shorts Kid screamed. "Do NONE of your Pokemon wear shorts? Zubat, go!" A Zubat appeared, wearing black shorts with white stars sprinkled on. Zagro started to worry. "OK, fine. Don't fight, you two. Return!" He thought. "I can't use Weedle alone, he's horribly out-classed." "So you concede defeat? BWAHAHA!!" "Hey, now, not so fast!" Zagro grabbed Drowzee and beat Shorts Kid over the head with it, knocking Drowzee and it's owner out. He then grabbed Zubat and shoved it in a hole in a tree trunk, where it got stuck. "Who needs Pokemon?" Zagro started back towards Viridian, in search of a pokecenter, a good breeder, a Pokemon therapist, and some aspirin.