From: MTSowbug <mtsowbug@a.happy.place> Subject: [PW!] A Day in the Life of a Brain Date: Thursday, August 26, 1999 8:53 AM Recently on the Pokewars! Phoo has been brainwashed by the master of Panopticon, an enigmatic entity. Phoo has been sent on a mission to locate and capture Bill the pokemaniac. Also, Phoo's pokemon have rented a Pidgeot in hopes of discovering Phoo's whereabouts. And now, the rest of the story. Good day! "I'm sorry Id, but I can't let you do that," a soft feminine voice sounded. "God dammit! I'm really getting sick of this mess..." a tiny wisp of thought groaned. The scene was a long and narrow hallway, the walls, floor, and ceiling surrounded by some sort of odd gray matter. The wisp's antagonist appeared to be a metallic, phasmodial security door at the end of the hallway. Silently, something telepathed the wisp's thoughts. "'ello Id, have any luck at the aft end of the memory hold? None of us can find any exits from here... all locked... you know, I really hope Phoo never ends up getting brainwashed again." The wisp telepathed pack. "Aie. Whoever did it did I really good job too, I mean, they're not even letting Ego out of this little prison of ours, nonetheless me!" As the wisp telepathed, it looked around itself in desperation, then started retreating from the hallway. "Yes Id, this really is not a good time for us. I'm sure you've been enlightened of it by now, but all of us are going to have a meeting in room AJ002..." "Affirmed." "Okay Id.. just... just hang in there. It's hard to believe Phoo is going around without us. As was said, this is a bad time for all..." *** Scene: Cerulean City *** The color blue lends itself to shadows. Cerulean blue. Today, a particularly conspcious shadow crept. A shadow with six legs, a head, a thorax, and an abdomen. Phoo shuffled through the alleyways and gutters of Cerulean City, making his way ever northward. Although Phoo had never been to Cerulean City before in his life, he moved through it with impeccable accuracy. Whenever a human approached, Phoo swiftly teleported out of trouble, and continued fullheartedly to the north. Nothing perterbed the cockroach as it first passed the pokemon center, the pokemart, and even the pokemon gym, where people congregrated. Seemily without care for himself, Phoo continued. Eventually, Phoo encountered another house on his way, and decided not to teleport over it. Instead, he lit his claws with fire, and set them to the wall of the house, smouldering and melting away a hole in the wall, which Phoo passed through. He walked straight through the building, and upon coming to the opposite wall, burned through that as well. "Ha, kill maim destroy, ha. Run scream burn, ha." Phoo chanted as he drove onwards. *** Back to the mind of Phoo *** "Attention! Attention everyone! This meeting will come to order!" a thin wisp of energy telepathed. The wisp was in a room, much wider than the hallway. The room was ovular in nature, and the walls again were made of a sort of gray matter. There was a phasmodial table in the center of the room, and other threads of thought were standing at attention around it. The room slowly pulsated and undulated of its own nature. Another wisp rose, and telepathed, angrily, "We've got to do something! Phoo is meandering around Cerulean, doing god-knows-what! Id, Ego, and Superego are stuck in here with the rest of us, in the grey matter of the brain! This is nuts! None of the synapse doors to the other areas of the brain, where we can do things, will open! Really, I..." "That will be enough, Mr. REM! We need to keep an even keel..." Yet again he was cut off. "But what on earth can we do with only access to long-term memory?" The wisp, seeming only slightly annoyed, continued on. "Well, we must think through this logically, well, all we are is logic, anyway, right?" Superego and Creativity rose, and telepathed in unison, "Sir Comprehension, we resent that..." "Yes, yes. Now, what can we do? The rest of the brain is cut off from us, and thusly prohibiting us from doing anything to the outside. But we do have a vast collection of data at our disposal." "We can send a messager outside the brain for help, couldn't we?" a wisp named Trivial Thoughts telepathed. "Alas, without the synapses, logic, energy, and environment of the brain, we are nothing more than kinetic energy. Now, if we can find some creature who is somehow linked to Phoo's brain... then we have a plan." "Where could we find such a creature?" "Well, for starters, I found some great home movies of dreams that might give us some insight." After the wisp thought this, a projector popped up at one end of the room, a screen at the other, and the lights dimmed. "Dammit, I knew I should never created those," REM thought. "I feel for you, friend. I never thought we'd actually have to watch the things..." Lucid Thoughts conceeded. Comprehension then floated over to the projector, produced a movie reel out of the air, and placed it in the device. "And just to add to the home movie effect, I have added some extra cheesy commentary and locked all the exits." A universal groan was felt throughout the room. *** In another area of the brain, in sensory memory *** A wisp darted around the neurons that took in all of Phoo's sensory data. The wisp was like any other, except that... somehow it didn't fit in with the surroundings; something about its being. The whole area was nondescript and everchanging, and glowed crimson. Small wormy corridors honeycombed the area, ever pulsating. The wisp, along with several dozen others like it, moved around collecting small particles of sensory data which had just entered the brain as energy, and sent it up into a strange black patch on the side of the room. As the data entered the patch, it swished and tugged with new information. The particles then rushed towards a corridor, which had a phasmodial sign over it reading "Short-term memory." However, right before reaching the corridor, the particles turned abruptly, and went into a very small, very shallow black alcove, then disappeared. As the assembly line of particles moved, a strange presence could be felt over the place, which felt... evil. A strange thought pattern sublimely resonated through the area. "It is another masterpiece of mine. I really do mind control so well. Why, just watch Phoo's view of the world get twisted as the sensory data is changed and enters a perverted short-term memory! And my fake Ego, Id, and Superego are working nicely, too," the voice devilishly chuckled. *** Back in Cerulean City *** The sun was slowly descending in the sky, it must have been around 5:00 PM. Phoo had reached the other end of Nugget Bridge easily because the young trainers there were going home, anyway. Although trainers abounded to the east, it was easy for Phoo to manuever amoungst them, between the thick, almost brambly underbrush and the lengthening shadows. It was nary half an hour before Bill's sea cottage was within Phoo's line of sight. Within minutes, Phoo was there. The cottage was made mostly of wooden planks, with a chimney made up of bricks. Several windows were aligned on the walls, giving an inspiring view of the sea. The door was open just a crack to let the cool, salty breeze in. It let more things in than just the wind, as was easily shown when Phoo crept in the door. The interior of the house was much different from the exterior. The inside walls contained plates of metal, and their was a large computer terminal at one end of the room. A small desk was at the opposite from the terminal, and a bed was in the near corner. The end of the room was sealed off by some sort of plastic, and two teleporter pods, worn out from constain failures, explosions, and accidents, sat lonesomely at that end. A fireplace was opposite the bed. The cottage was probably a converted camping cabin, considering its one-room nature. Sitting at the desk, scrawling some notes, was a man of medium stature, in his mid-thirties. The man wore short brown hair and wire-rimmed spectacles. He was dressed in a scientist's labcoat, which was oddly adorned with a tie. He wore high black boots tucked under somewhere beneath the coat, and long sleeves. Bill did not notice the slight creaking at the door when Phoo came in. After a brief moment of silence, Phoo quickly crawled up to the desk, whereupons Bill noticed the giant cockroach. "'ello you," Bill began, with a touch of a strange, foreign accent, "whatcha doin' at my desk? Yer a mighty large fellow, aren't you? Fellas like you should be outside at this time of..." Bill suddenly was flung out of his seat by an unknown force and barrelled through the air, landing in the vicinity of the fireplace. Phoo skipped all matters of formality, and sent a telepathic message straight to Bill's mind. The thoughts read, "Hmm... well, let us see. Ah, yes. Hi Bill. Hand over your life... and umm... hmm... your computer software... hmm... yes, just kindly hand over your person to me, please. I am very... sorry... but I am afraid I will have to... uhm... hmm... kidnap you." Bill clambered to his feet, and grabbed a fire extinguisher which happened to be hanging on the wall. It was a bright red extinguisher, and it glistened and shone in the setting sun shining through the window. Bill then rushed to the wall, breathing heavily. His heartbeat was going several dozen times its normal rate. "What kind of evil are you? Vile demon! Get back to hell where you belong!" Bill spurted out, in between gasps. Phoo calmly teleported to Bill's ear and whispered to him. "No really, I assure you I am not from hell. I... assure you I am much... much worse." Bill, practically fainting from shock and adrenaline release, swung around 360 degrees and slammed the fire extinguisher at Phoo. He missed and hit the wall instead, but the action gave Bill the opportunity to run outside the cottage and escape. Phoo, looking for a weapon that was his size, took a syringe half-full of a cloudy liquid and scurried outside after Bill. Upon reaching the house's front, Phoo felt a brick fall just inches from his head. Looking up, Phoo saw Bill dart away from above him; he was on the roof. Suddenly, a loud voice boomed inside Phoo's head. "Fool! Be on guard! You know your abilities, you should have set a shield up out here! You're out to fight now! Go get him!" The voice then faded, and Phoo nodded in understanding. Raising his claw up to the sky, a small fire wisp appeared in it, then evaporated, leaving a shield of vaporous fire surrounding Phoo. Phoo then spread his wings, and fluttered up to the roof. *** Back in the brain of Phoo *** Comprehension finally, after what seemed like an eternity, turned off the home movies. "Okay... I guess that was futile. Who's up for a round of chess, then we psychoanalyze some thoughts from the memory archives?" Ego, who had been silent for most of the meeting, rose and telepathed, "Erm, isn't there an easier way about this? You do know that Phoo still uses his long-term memory. And we are stuck in long-term memory..." "Nay, as brainwashing is always done, the long-term memory is cut off from the rest of the brain to ensure a complete wiping of past thoughts... we can not go anywhere." Ego sighed. "Well, as you can see, there is little we can do. So who is up for chess?" *** Return to Bill's cottage *** Phoo leapt at Bill, who was across the roof of the house. Phoo's syringe darted forward, and barely missed Bill's leg. "Hmm... please hold still and make this less of an... effort for me, Bill." Bill promptly shrieked and brought the fire extinguisher down on Phoo. The object quickly deflected off Phoo's shield and smashed Bill in the face. "Uhh..." Bill groaned, as he fell backwards and slammed into the chimney. Phoo took a step towards Bill, spread out his antennae, and raised his left claw. A prism of flames appeared in it, and he was just about to throw it at Bill when he remembered that he wasn't out here to kill. Phoo deftly redirected the fire towards the roof, where it made a smouldering hole in it. Looking into the hole, Phoo noticed another bunch of syringes lying on the top of one of Bill's telepods. Phoo raised his claw again, which glowed dull red. Suddenly, almost phasmodial bolts of fire struck out in every direction, and three small fireballs appeared in front of Phoo, hovering. Phoo pointed to the syringes, and the fireballs swept towards them, picked them up, and rushed them back to Phoo. Before Phoo could give the fire beings another order, Bill rushed forward again. Bill jumped up into the air and swept the fire extinguisher down on Phoo, knocking him over and making him fall into the hole in the roof. Phoo's concentration was whacked, and his fireball summonees quickly evaporated, as Phoo landed on top of a computer's monitor. Bill was just about to rush in himself and stomp Phoo when Phoo turned the monitor towards Bill, shining the reflection of the setting sun in Bill's face. Bill was blinded by the flash, tripped, and fell backwards, onto the syringes. "Aiee... all the schintilating colors... everything is dancing before my eyes so jollylike..." Bill groaned, before passing out. Phoo immediately teleported up to Bill, and telepathed an unknown source. "Master, Bill is ready for... you now. Hmm... it appears that he is hallucinating... I hope that isn't too... hmm... much trouble for you. We... are ready to be taken back... Master." Karnivax, please pick up here. I really didn't quite know what you wanted past here, so I left it to you. :P They taste salty" - Cassidy Wright No, my name isn't Cassidy! A wok is a Chinese cooking device oftentimes used to make stirfries. "Sacrilege!" he cried, "Return that duck at once!" In a melodious voice, she cried out, "Chan-siiiiiii!!!" I am the holder of Goddish's Grimore of Lore! And Goddish's Neat Book of Stuff! (praise Goddish) Clefairy, Clefairy, Clefairy jump over the moon, Clefairy, Clefairy, Clefairy jump over the moon! The moon! The moon! The moon, the moon, the moon! KABOOM!!! (Clefairy used Metronome, and got Explosion) The sigfile grew to an enormous size! -more- The sigfile exploded and spewed pink goo everywhere! -more- You die. -more- If you spontaneously combust, all is left is a rocking chair and your teeth. Secretly, in the depths of night, rocking chairs roam the earth, searching for YOU!!!! When a rocking chair finds you (and it will), BEWARE!!!! For if you accidentally sit in it, your doom shall fall. Hiding by day, Lurking by night, Beware the rocking chair! "What? Your request is of no importance to me, young man, for we carry no such thing as frosty melon pudding!" said the shopkeeper to the bum. I *think* my e-mail address is mtsowbug@hotbot.com But why would you E-mail me? What is your secret motive? WHAT KIND OF CONSPIRACY ARE YOU HIDING?!?!?!?!