From: Karnivax <karnivax@my-deja.com> Subject: [PW!] A Hard Day's Night Date: Wednesday, August 04, 1999 6:00 PM Dreadite doesn't seem to think this story breaks any rules, sooooo...here ya go! --A HARD DAY'S NIGHT-- Part 1 by Karnivax "All right, we made it to Viridian City," Kyle announced, pointing to the relatively small city that Grendel the Aerodactyl was preparing to land in. "And we still have plenty of time to buy tickets for the They Might Be Giants concert in an hour! That jerk Shard may have stolen my plastic, but I still have cold, hard cash..." Jessica queried, "How are you ever going to pay off your credit card debts? Rest assured that Shard's going to be buying anything he darn well pleases with it." "Simple," Kyle replied, a diabolical grin forming on his face. "Next time we see that scrawny little vegetable-head Shard, I'm just going to break every bone in his body and have him repay his debts in blood as well as money. And there will be a next time, oh yes. Hoo hoo hah hah..." "Ummm...you're creeping me out here," Jessica noted. "Oh, he does this every once in a while," Torrasque pointed out. He flew in close to Grendel, then whacked Kyle in the head with the dull end of one scythe. "He has these sudden rushes of evil...maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something. He just needs a solid blow to the skull to set him straight." Grendel eventually landed right in front of the Viridian City Brock's Diner, the same place he had landed on Kyle's earlier journey to Viridian. Kyle remembered the diner as the spot where he had defeated the arrogant trainer Jeremy, and where Torrasque had finally realized his own strength. Kyle and Jessica got off of Grendel, then Thanatos, Torrasque, and Cathode made landfall. Kyle freed Espio the sardonic Charmeleon from his Pokéball, and then the team was off to the Viridian City Concert Hall to buy tickets. Next to the concert was a tall sign showing all of the upcoming acts. The future concerts included "The Unstoppable Kamikaze Idiots," "Not Drowning, Waving," "That Fat Chick from Wilson Phillips," and "Roid Rogers and the Whirling Butt Cherries." The Viridian City Concert Hall was evidently not a major venue. The man at the ticket booth was a corpulent and surly-looking bald man with a scruffy beard and mustache. He was wearing torn jeans and a black tank top. "Can I help you folks?" he boomed. "Uh, I'd like two tickets for They Might Be Giants," Kyle unsurely replied. He looked at the price list and discovered that the tickets were fourteen dollars each. That was unusually cheap. The man pulled two tickets off of a ticket reel and set them in front of Kyle. "That'll be twenty-nine sixty-eight," the man grunted. Kyle handed over thirty dollars, then took the change and the tickets. He stored the tickets in his jacket and walked away from the booth, wondering why the man in the booth looked so disgruntled. Kyle and Jessica started passing the time until the concert by sitting down on a park bench and discussing their recent visit to Bill's lab. Kyle was inordinately fascinated about what had happened to Jessica during that side trip, and he eventually talked Jessica into describing the experience. She told the story up to the part where she had turned into a Charizard at the Pokémart, and then Kyle asked her what being a Charizard had felt like. "Well, I've been turning into a Scyther since age sixteen, and in all that time, not once have my instincts dominated over my rational thought. But when I became a full Charizard, it was like being born again. It was like my whole mind wiped itself clean and started all over. Seeing everyone in the store so freaked out by me, the first concepts I learned again were fear and anger...I guess that's what caused me to try to kill Shard. But then those Jigglypuffs of his put me to sleep, and when I woke up, I was back at Bill's, and rational thought had come back." "Come on. You mean to tell me there wasn't anything good about the whole experience at all?" Kyle said, half-grinning. "Well, to tell you the truth, I honestly wouldn't mind being stuck with those Charizard wings," Jessica replied. "Charizards are better flyers than Scythers any day. To stay airborne as a Scyther, one has to flap their wings about as fast as a hummingbird does. And that gets tiring quickly." "You just need more practice," Torrasque cut in. "In a world of flying Pokémon, Scythers are the helicopters. They can hover in place, they have V.T.O.L. capabilities, they can even fly backwards. No Charizard could ever pull off such aerial acrobatics." "Chaaa," Cathode agreed, always in support of his master. Espio then backhanded Torrasque in the face. "That's enough Charizard-bashing, you scaly smartass," the Charmeleon snorted, insulted by Torrasque's statement. "Some day I might just let my body do what it wants to do and evolve." "Funny, when we first met you you told us that you weren't going to evolve," Torrasque said, smirking. He thought a little reverse psychology could goad Espio into at last evolving. "Yeah, that's right," Espio replied, a small tear appearing in one of his saurian eyes. "Kyle already has a worthless and manic- depressive Charmeleon. The last thing he needs is an even more worthless and manic-depressive Charizard..." Espio very quickly turned around and sprinted toward a nearby water fountain in the park. Knowing what Espio was planning, Torrasque quickly dashed after the much smaller and slower Charmeleon and grabbed Espio before he could drown his own tail-flame. "You'll thank me later, Espy," Torrasque said, carrying Espio back over to the bench. Torrasque placed the sullen Charmeleon on the park bench, right next to Kyle. "You're one fickle lizard, you know that?" remarked Kyle to Espio. "One minute you're a trash-talking fiend who's ready for battle, the next minute you're a weepy emotional wreck who's ready to kill himself. We know you're manic-depressive, but now I'm beginning to think you have M.P.S. too..." "Probably," Espio sighed. "We Charmeleons are a diverse breed...we're available in a wide assortment of colors and mental problems." Kyle looked over at the entrance to the park and saw a familiar figure with a familiar Pokémon approaching. Kyle commented, "I think I know what will cheer you up, Espio." The boy entering the park eventually recognized Kyle and walked over to the bench. The Pokémon at the boy's side, a Farfetch'd, was sporting a cocky grin. "Told ya we'd meet again, kid," the boy snorted. "Ah, Vincenzo Larufa - the self-proclaimed 'Italian Stallion' - and his Ralph-Macchio-wannabe Farfetch'd, Halberd," Kyle grunted. "How have you been keeping yourself busy?" "Take a look, loser," Vincenzo replied, displaying a handful of trainer badges. "Halberd jus' won me an Earthbadge. Which means I'm off to whomp th' Elite Four. Though, while you're here, I guess I can have Halberd give yer pet mantis another round o' stomp-ass." "I haven't eaten yet today," Halberd pointed out, his language translator set on full volume. "I got a hankerin' for some diced Scyther..." Torrasque just glowered at Halberd. Kyle looked over at Espio. "Espio, you want to handle this egocentric schmuck?" "Don't risk Espio on this one," Jessica interrupted, arising from her seat. "I'll deal with 'Enzo' this time." "Well, hellooo there!" Enzo remarked. He turned toward Kyle. "So, kid, even though ya suck at Pokémon training, at least ya got good taste in women." Enzo approached Jessica and started observing her intently. "I could go for a brunette. And this one's got a nice set, which is a definite plus..." Jessica then gave Enzo a hard left jab in the eye, and Enzo fell on his back. "I'm taken, slimeball," Jessica snorted. "You know, Jessica's kinda cute when she's pissed off," Kyle whispered to Torrasque. Enzo rubbed his now-discolored right eye and got back up. "I like yer style, girlfriend," he commented, grinning from ear to ear. "Okay, we'll battle. But I won't go easy on ya jus' 'cause ya got a pretty face." He plucked a Pokéball from his belt. "Yggdrasil, go!" From his Pokéball came a tall Exeggutor. Each of the animate coconut tree's four heads had different expressions. The heads were not actually connected to the body - they hovered around the body like four small moons frozen in orbit of a planet, evidently held aloft telekinetically, as Exeggutor was a psychic Pokémon. The heads started revolving clockwise around the body until an angry-looking head was in front of the creature. "Yggdrasil?" Jessica wondered. "Where'd that come from?" "Norse myth," Kyle replied, curious why it seemed to him that so many trainers were getting into Norse myth all of a sudden. "Yggdrasil is the giant ash tree that connects Asgard - heaven - with Midgard - earth - and whatever-it-is-gard - hell." "Not bad, not bad!" Enzo remarked. Turning toward Jessica, he commanded, "All right, toots, choose yer challenger." "Fine...Alkaline, give this tree the axe!" Jessica threw down a Pokéball, and Alkaline, her pleasant-smelling Muk, materialized before her. "Muuuuukkk!" the acidic monster bellowed, trying to look intimidating. Again the Exeggutor's heads started to revolve clockwise, this time stopping with an amused-looking head in the dominant position. "Exeeegg, utor," the amused head chuckled. The heads then revolved counterclockwise, and the angry head regained dominance. The bipedal coconut tree prepared for battle. "What does this walking tree think it is, a four-faced Quintesson?" Torrasque remarked from the sidelines. The reference was lost on Kyle. "Yggdrasil, Stomp!" was Enzo's first order. The Exeggutor jumped at Alkaline, then squashed the liquid beast with one clawed wooden foot. Alkaline backed off, reformed himself, and awaited a command. "Alkaline, hit him with some Sludge!" Jessica shouted. Alkaline created a round glob of toxic goo in one hand and then pitched the acidic spheroid at Yggdrasil. It scored a direct hit upon Yggdrasil's body. A frightened-looking head moved into the dominant position. "Exegg!!!" the scared head shrieked. The tree ran around wildly for nearly half a minute as the sludge steadily burned through its bark. Eventually Yggdrasil shook the sludge off like a dog and put the angry head back in control. "Barrage!" Enzo commanded. Yggdrasil leaned forward, and from the massive palm fronds on its top, it launched a coconut like a cannonball at Alkaline. The coconut bounced off of Alkaline's head, inflicting immense pain upon the now-solid Muk. Yggdrasil struck Alkaline with four more coconuts before ceasing its assault. Disoriented, Alkaline staggered and fell over backwards, splattering a bit as he hit the ground. Alkaline slowly pulled himself together and oozed out of the way of Yggdrasil as the walking vegetation spontaneously went for another Stomp. "Poison beats grass...Sludge him again," Jessica said. Alkaline tossed another wad of sludge at Yggdrasil. The slow-moving tree was again helpless to dodge it, and this time the acid hit it right in its leaves. Yggdrasil's "scared head" came back in front and started shouting bloody murder. The tree waved its fronds frenetically and eventually was able to disperse the acid before all of its leaves burned away. Watching curled, acid-burned pieces of leaf fall from his crest, Yggdrasil briefly revealed his fourth and final head: a teary- eyed head. Then once again the angry head returned to the dominant position, this time looking angrier than before. "I'm through toyin' with ya," Enzo pointed out. "Yggdrasil, Psychic!" Jessica tried to tell Alkaline to use Acid Armor, but it would not have done any good. All of Yggdrasil's heads started chanting "Exeeeggutor!" in unison as the psionic monster unleashed a massive wave of multicolored psi. The wave engulfed Alkaline, and shortly after being struck with a massive headache, he simply popped like a balloon, splattering every which way. Shortly after Alkaline eventually got himself back in one piece, he fainted from exhaustion. Jessica - surprised by Yggdrasil's use of an attack it did not learn naturally - called Alkaline back into his Pokéball. "Poison might beat grass, but no poison-type can stand up to a psychic," Enzo noted, as he recalled Yggdrasil. He frowned at Jessica. "I had high hopes for ya, girlfriend. But I guess I shoulda figured from the start that you'd be a loser. After all, you're gettin' cozy with a loser." He glared at Kyle. "Oh well, live an' learn. Halberd an' I are off to fight th' Elite Four. Expect to see us in the newspaper next week when I'm the Pokémon League champ!" "Arrivederchi, ya Pokéchumps!" Halberd shouted at Kyle and Jessica. Halberd and his master then headed off toward Victory Road, chuckling contemptuously the whole way. --A HARD DAY'S NIGHT-- Part 2 by Karnivax "Someone needs to force-feed those jerks some humble pie," Torrasque grunted. "Next time I meet up with that leek-toting freak Halberd, I'm going straight to the People's Slash." Kyle looked at his watch. "You'll have plenty of time to contemplate your plans for revenge after the Giants concert. Come on, back to the concert hall..." The crew got up from the park bench and started heading back to the Viridian City Concert Hall. The team arrived at the concert hall half an hour early, and they noticed the security guards standing next to the front door. "Jessica, grab on to one of Torrasque's wings and pretend you can't see," Kyle whispered. "Torrasque, pretend you're her seeing-eye Scyther." "What?" Jessica almost shrieked. "Why can't you do it?" "Because I'll slash Kyle to ribbons if he lays a finger on me," Torrasque answered. "So long as I'm conscious, no one, and I mean no one, touches me and lives except another Scyther. You might be human, Jessica, but you can be a Scyther, and a pretty damn fine-looking one at that. So I wouldn't dream of hurting you." Jessica shrugged and did as she was told, then the crew approached the main entrance. "All of your free-roaming Pokémon must be in Pokéballs," one of the burly security guards grunted at Kyle and Jessica as the duo showed their tickets. Kyle apologized to Thanatos, Espio, and Cathode before beaming them all into separate Pokéballs. The security guards, sufficiently convinced by Jessica's act, took the tickets and then allowed Kyle, Jessica, and Torrasque to enter the building. "Scyyyther," Torrasque innocently purred at the guards, as he headed into the concert hall with Jessica in tow. Once the guards were out of earshot, Torrasque grinned a reptilian grin. "I haven't lost my mad subterfuge skills," he proudly said to himself. "Considering we just smuggled you into this concert, I'll assume that you're a They Might Be Giants fan too," Jessica said to Torrasque. "Are you kidding?" Kyle responded. "Torrasque is the one who introduced me to their music." "Yeah, that was back when I was twelve," Torrasque reminisced. "Funny, Kyle told me you're currently six years old," Jessica responded. "Yeah. But for a Scyther, that's the equivalent of eighteen human years," Torrasque explained. "Therefore I consider myself currently eighteen. But anyway, about They Might Be Giants...their lyrics are more intellectual than those of most pop groups. Their songs very often tell stories or contain deep hidden meanings." "Yeah, and only weirdos like us try to figure them out," Kyle added. The crew found seats on the left side of the rather crowded concert hall, and watched as a crack team of roadies sat on stage, tested the sound system, and tuned the band's numerous musical instruments. The process took roughly twenty minutes. About fifteen more minutes later, a resounding cheer went up from the audience as the Severe Tire Damage Theme played and the band walked out on stage and gathered their instruments. The band's patented Confetti Cannon, which was loaded with money as well as confetti, fired its contents into the air as the band immediately started playing "James K. Polk." Once that song was over, founding members John Linnell and John Flansburgh introduced the other members of the band with their respective intros, then the band went on to play "Doctor Worm," "Shoehorn with Teeth," and "Cyclops Rock," which Torrasque sang and Swords Danced along with. By the time "Cyclops Rock" came to an end, Kyle noticed a pair of tables over on the right side of the concert hall. A grungy-looking man was sitting behind one table, which was labeled "Free Samples" and had numerous small cups of purple liquid sitting on top. The table next to it had what looked like a large soda fountain with a list of prices on it. While the band's founders told a funny story about "baby fingers," Kyle, Jessica, and Torrasque went over to the table of free samples to investigate. "What are these free samples of?" Kyle asked the grungy man. "Uh...I like to call it 'Grimerade,'" the man snorted, grinning. "Give it a try. It tastes like grape." So Kyle drank one of the samples. "What? That doesn't taste anything like grape!" Kyle then thought for a second, and picked up another sample. "Still...it tastes pretty darn good..." "Have another. But that's all you're getting for free," the man grunted. Kyle downed a second sample. "Whoaaa. You guys gotta try this. It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited..." So Jessica poured two samples down Torrasque's throat, then drank two samples herself. Both of them fell for the drink's unique flavor. Before long, Kyle had bought a pitcher of Grimerade, and he was sharing it with his companions. And in the course of about five minutes, the potent drink had Kyle, Jessica, and Torrasque falling-down drunk. Then the trio spent the large part of the concert dancing erratically in the aisles, hiccupping constantly, and hitting on people they had never seen before. And in time, half of the audience was over at the "soda" fountain, getting soused on Grimerade. The concert turned into a bacchanal. When the giant conga line formed for the song "No One Knows My Plan," half of the people in the line stumbled to the ground at some point and started laughing giddily. Over time the Grimerade went from making people euphoric to making people surly. A few drunken fistfights started breaking out. Soon the fistfights melded together into one massive brawl, which scared Jessica enough that she transformed almost completely into her light blue Scyther form. Taking the opportunity, a wasted Torrasque made a pass at Jessica the Scyther: "'Ey, baby...(hic)...whattya say we hish a pippy?" Jessica responded by giggling like a schoolgirl and giving Torrasque a kiss on the muzzle. The band eventually ran off of the stage during the song "Rest Awhile," and the concert was postponed. The police eventually arrived and arrested the brawling drunkards, as well as the person who had been selling the Grimerade. Kyle, Jessica, and Torrasque were able to leave the building without getting caught by Officer Jenny's legion. The rest of the night for the trio blurred together into an incomprehensible smear... When Jessica finally regained consciousness, she was lying in a bed that was not her own. She had what could only be described as a "thermonuclear hangover." She could not feel any clothing on her body. _Oh...my...Goddish..._ she thought, telling herself she was going to go into Scyther mode if she did not calm down. _Did I sleep with...Kyle?!_ Then Jessica rolled over to see who was next to her in the bed, and she nearly exploded just by stopping herself from screaming at the top of her lungs. Asleep next to Jessica was Torrasque. Her first thought was that she had been so drunk that she had fallen asleep next to Torrasque while in human form. But she eventually discovered that what had actually happened was far worse. She got up out of bed, then took a look at herself just to confirm her fear that her clothes were missing. They were, but in the shape Jessica was in, it mattered little... _I'm not in human mode, I'm in Scyther mode,_ Jessica realized upon inspecting herself. _Which means I probably fell asleep in Scyther mode! Torrasque and I...were two drunken Scythers...sleeping in the same bed!!!_ Fearing the worst, Jessica dashed into the bathroom, finally noticing that she was in a hotel room. Panting madly and believing that she was so frightened that she would never be human again, she stood staring at herself in the bathroom mirror for several minutes, her mind racing and her adrenaline level remaining absurdly high. Desperately, she sat on the floor and tried meditation techniques to try and calm herself down, hoping she was not stuck in her unnatural form. After fifteen minutes of meditation, she was effectively a human/Scyther hybrid. But then she remembered that she had no clothes to change back into once she was human again. Only her Scyther form would be acceptable for walking out in public. So she stopped relaxing and started imagining the worst case scenarios, and before long she was a full Scyther again. It was a rare occasion that Jessica forced herself to transform. The only other times she had done so were times when she wanted to know what it was like to fly. Seconds later, there was a knock on the door to the hotel room which woke Torrasque up. Scared of who might be at the door, Jessica locked herself in to the bathroom. Torrasque groggily got up and answered the door. The person who had knocked was Kyle, who was looking enraged. He was carrying Jessica's clothing, which Jessica had left at the concert hall after going into Scyther mode during the brawl. "I want to know what the hell happened last night," Kyle growled, in a scratchy voice. "After the concert, I got a hotel room, and you and Jessica got a hotel room. And I want to know what you and Jessica were doing in here." "What are you talking about?" Torrasque yawned. "Jessica isn't in here." "I *know* she is," Kyle snarled. "Don't lie to me." Listening to Kyle and Torrasque's exchange and wanting to prevent a fight, Jessica then exited the bathroom, frightened deep down of how Kyle would react to seeing her in Scyther form. Kyle's mouth fell open upon seeing what was no doubt Jessica and reaching an epiphany. "All this time...Jessica was the very same blue female Scyther we saw on our first trip to Cerulean. Torrasque, why did you and Thanatos lie to me? Why did you say the blue Scyther wasn't Jessica?" "She asked us to!" Torrasque answered. "She thought it would ruin her budding relationship with you if she told you her secret too soon!" Jessica, who was so fargone that she could not talk, only nodded in agreement. "If you're so concerned with bringing Jessica and I together," Kyle angrily said to Torrasque, "then why were you the one who got a room with her last night?!" "We were both Scythers, and we were both *drunk*!!!" Torrasque shouted. "Jeez, it's not like Jessica or I tried anything...in...bed..." His voice trailed off as he realized that there was an upsetting possibility that his statement may not have been true. Neither him nor Jessica had any recollection of what had happened in bed overnight, after all. Kyle sighed furiously. Very slowly, he snarled, "Torrasque, you had better hope that nothing happened between you two. Because if anything did, I swear, I will have your scaly green ass in a sling..." He took a deep breath to try and cool his anger down, then he handed Jessica her clothes. "Now Jessica, you stay here and see if you can't get back into human form and get changed. Once you're ready, we'll go to the Viridian City Gym to challenge Giovanni, and we will never speak of this hotel room debacle again." Jessica nodded, then went back into the bathroom to await her return to normal. Kyle returned to his own hotel room next door to Torrasque and Jessica's. Torrasque went and sat down on the bed, trying desperately to remember what had happened between him and Jessica in hopes he could disprove the possible scenario he feared most. Special thanks to Natasha for coming up with the phrase "thermonuclear hangover." ^_^ --K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X-- "Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Share what you know. Learn what you don't.