From: Roberto Perez-Vila <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] Beware the Furious Ditto! Date: Wednesday, August 04, 1999 12:12 AM Everything inside the multi-colored caravan quickly approaching Vermilion City is rather peaceful. Marvin's body has sunk as far into his green bean bag chair as it can possibly go. He is watching the television across the room, which has the volume turned low, so that Xerox can continue reading her novel. The intelligent purple Ditto has finished 'Old Growler,' which she didn't cry over at all, and has now taken up 'Pokemon Farm.' Bozo, the Mr. Mime, isn't adding to the noise level for obvious reasons. Marvin takes a sip of some lemonade, just as the caravan stops moving. Marvin pulls an oversized stopwatch from within his shirt, springs it open, and observes what time it is as the clock spins around, since it is hanging from a chain, "We've arrived at record time! Xerox, why are you so slow?" Xerox, the purple Ditto, mutters some incoherent response before explaining, "Actually, master, I keep a very steady pace. It seems that my sister has been galloping at an increased rate. In fact, I believe her speed multiplied on the journey southward from Saffron City to our present location. I suppose this is due to the increased slope when heading southward, as opposed to the less inclined trip when heading from east to west. I personally account for..." The explanation is cut short by a Rapidash slamming open the door to the caravan and Stomping in, snorting. While this sight would be strange in any other situation, Marvin just smiles and says, "Hey, Famifax! Is something wrong?" The enraged Rapidash snorts at Marvin, "Oh, dontya be all like is somethin wong! I saw whadya told sis to do to him! Don't think I no saw it! I SAW! And you gonna pay! Oh yah, PAY! But sis gonna pay more! Stupid sis!" The Rapidash's attention turns to the purple Ditto on the bed, "Ya troo he out! How COULD ya?! You that stupid, meanie head?!" Marvin struggles to free himself from his chair while saying, "Now calm down, Famifax... Who are you talking about?" "Shuddap, Marvy! You no betta than sis, noway! You meanie too!" The Rapidash raises her hooves up high and brings them down on the bed, trying to crush Xerox, her sister, under them. Xerox quickly slides out of the way and transforms into a Rapidash as well. While two Rapidashes would be a strange sight anywhere else, in Marvin's caravan, it's not that unusual. Xerox the Rapidash stares at Famifax the Rapidash, "Are you referring to Silly Putty? Do you actually feel angered by the fact I disposed of him accordingly?" "DUH!!!" Famifax the Rapidash tries to hit her sister with her horn, but Xerox evades. Famifax continues to shout out, in a sad voice, "I likie Silli! I think he funny an cute! You no have to be mean like that to him! Noway! Yousucks! Bigtime!" Marvin holds out his hands to show that he means no harm as he approaches Famifax, "Now, waaait a second, Famifax! He didn't ask for permission before barging in on us... And he was breaking things in here. Xerox had every right to kick him out the way she did... Now calm down so we can all go to the beach for a relaxing afternoon of sunbathing!" "CALM DOWN?!" Famifax Growls at Marvin, "You think it okay that sis kick him like he TRASH?! Yousucks, TOO!" Xerox melts down into a purple Ditto again and says, "In occasions such as this one, I wish I knew Sleep Powder or Hypnosis. Note to self: learn how to transform into a Poliwrath for occasions such as this one." Marvin overhears Xerox's comment and pulls a Pokeball out of his jacket, "Of course! I have to put her to sleep! Exeggcute, go!" He throws his Pokeball and the Exeggcute form on the ground, looking worriedly at the angry Rapidash before them. They call out, "Exegg! Exegg!" Marvin sweatdrops as he orders, "Exeggcute, Hypnosis!" Famifax glares at Marvin for what he's doing. He is actually attacking her with his other Pokemon. She uses Fire Spin on Marvin's Exeggcute, successfully burning them until they faint, as well as setting part of the caravan on fire! Marvin is quick to act, pulling a fire extinguisher out of a nearby trunk and quickly putting out the fire, wishing he had a Water Pokemon... or at least wishing that Xerox knew how to turn into one from memory. He gets an idea and points the fire extinguisher at Famifax, "Listen, Famifax, you're ot of line... Stop this right now or I'm pulling the trigger!" Famifax Growls again, "No, I sick listen to you, YOU listen, Marvy! You think it like totally okay to hurt Silli, but not okay me hurt you?! I hope yer tuxis firepwoof, cuz if not, you in deep doodoo!" Famifax gets ready to singe Marvin with another Fire Spin aimed directly at him. She rears back and opens up her mouth, but a lasso quickly shuts it tight. Xerox, pretending to be a cowgirl she once transformed into when visiting Laramie Ranch, is successfully restraining Famifax the Rapidash with just one hand. She uses the other hand to tip her sombrero at Marvin, "Just doing my job, master. Or in this case, I suppose it would be more appropriate to refer to you as 'partner.' I any case, your original plan to put my sister to sleep was excellent. Well, in reality it was my plan, but I am well aware that this isn't the time to gloat. I suggest that you use the magic wand you use for your Hypnosis routine on her." "Huh? Oh, right!" Marvin realizes what Xerox is talking about and removes a blue and yellow magic wand from his jacket. From the yellow tip of the wand hangs a Hypno's pendulum. Marvin extends the wand in front of Famifax, who doesn't close her eyes in time. Within seconds, she starts snoring and melts down into a pink blob. Bozo, the Mr. Mime, who has been hiding behind the clothing racks during the entire ordeal, finally comes into view. He is wearing a brown toupee and looks even more ridiculous than usual. He points at Famifax and shrugs. Marvin looks at Bozo, then looks back down at the sleeping Famifax, "I don't know what's wrong with her. She's never behaved like this before... She's usually so innocent and sweet..." Xerox, still a cowgirl, shakes her head, "I believe she is convinced that she is in love, yet again. My original assessment of the situation was incorrect. She was actually speeding towards Vermilion City because she was irritated at you and I and wanted revenge on us, master. Even Pokemon drive recklessly when they are infuriated. I hope this nap gives her time to think about the horrible things she's done in the name of lust for that Ditto. Silly Putty, indeed." Marvin isn't sure how to respond to his Pokemon attacking the ones she supposedly loves. He doesn't do well in situations like these. Instead, he puts on a happy face and says, "Who wants to go to the beach?" Bozo turns away and goes to examine the scrambled Exeggcute. Xerox places her presently human hand on Marvin's shoulder, "I'll accompany you, master. And let me assure you that however angry I might become, I will never betray you. It is a promise." "Okay, that's great!" Marvin walks into the clothing racks to change. Bozo walks up to Xerox and tugs on her jeans, pointing at the Exeggcute. Xerox nods, "I suppose I should do something to help them." She looks for a Revive in the large trunk that holds all the important goods in the caravan. She manages to find one and spills the fluid onto all of the different entities that make up a single Exeggcute. They start to move about in unison once again, and their burns are no longer apparent. "Ex-egg-cute! Ex-egg-cute!" Bozo smiles! Xerox raises one eyebrow at the strange Psychic Pokemon, "Perhaps I misjudged you." Marvin walks out of the clothing racks wearing a white shirt, rainbow colored swimming trunks that go to is knees, and flip flops. He is also holding a beach towel and a rolled up umbrella. "You aren't going like that, are you, Xerox?" Xerox sighs, "You mean that you desire that I transform into a young bikini clad female like Famifax would've?" Marvin puts a finger on his nose, much like Bozo would. "Very well, master." Xerox closes her eyes to think of a suitable form. She shrinks back down into a purple Ditto for a moment, then reforms herself as a raven haired woman in a blue one-piece bathing suit. "Does this please you?" "Uhhh..." Marvin circles Xerox, "Maybe just a little bit bigger?" Xerox adjusts her transformation accordingly. "Excellent!" Marvin chuckles, "Hey, you healed my Exeggcute! That saves us a trip to the Pokemon Center..." Marvin recalls the Pokemon into its Pokeball. He hands it to Bozo. "If Famifax wakes up, make sure she falls asleep again." Xerox taps Marvin on the shoulder, "I don't believe that Bozo will be able to order the Exeggcute to use Hypnosis." "Huh? Why not?" Marvin thinks about it, the nods and hands the clown-like Pokemon his magic wand as well. "Just put this in front of her eyes if she tries to wake up." Bozo politely nods and stares intently at the sleeping pink Ditto. After gathering some more belongings, Marvin heads to the Vermilion City beaches with a black-haired woman in a blue bathing suit who is actually his Pokemon. No one on the beach thinks she is a Ditto, but they do think that Marvin is a pervert. And they're probably right about that. Marvin sits back on his beach towel, "Xerox, I underestimate you at times. I always thought you'd become disgruntled before Famifax! Man, was I wrong!" "I would never do anything of the sort." Xerox says, while gazing out into the sea, "And I am not a man." -Marvin