Subject: [PW!] Cutting Edge
Date: Monday, August 23, 1999 7:46 AM
Regulus: Now, I present to you the reigning heavyweight champion of the
Pokéworld...at six feet, seven inches...two hundred sixty-nine
::Mewtwo walks out and takes his position in the ring as LL Cool
J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" plays, crowd cheers and throws flowers,
Tauras throws a Master Ball and somehow misses Mewtwo::
Dreadite: And the challenger...at ten inches...eight pounds...Proteus
::Proteus oozes out and takes his position in the ring as Soul
Coughing's "Super Bon-Bon" plays, crowd boos and throws trash, Tauras
throws another Master Ball and somehow misses Proteus::
Regulus: All right, you two know the fucking rules, goddamnit!
Proteus, if you fucking win against Mewtwo, I'll ban your ass from this
_I have sensed your presence ever since you set foot in this
dungeon. Your attempt to remain covert is wasted in the presence of a
telepath such as I..._
_A pleasure to telepathically meet you too, Mewtwo._
_I know why you are here. I feel obligated to give you fair
warning - you are wasting your time._
_Relax, Mewtwo. Your mental voice sounds so...hostile._
_And justifiably so. You see, I do not take kindly to such a
blatant affront upon my home, and my solitude._
_This Underground Dungeon was once my home as well, Mewtwo. I
have as much right to exist here as you. Don't think of me as an
intruder; think of me as just another subterranean Ditto, looking for
someone to converse with._
_You can not hide your true intentions from me...Proteus, is it?
You seek to incapacitate me and deliver me to a 'greater power.' There
is not a doubt in my mind that you are one of Doppler's sycophants.
The miserable little coward...he dares not face me himself!_
_Why would *he* do what he could get someone *else* to do better?
_ Proteus mentally chuckled, realizing with glee that he had succeeded
in shielding the name of his true master from Mewtwo. _You are sealed
into this cave by a psionic dampening field, Mewtwo. There will be no
teleporting to safety for you today. The only way out of this cave is
Then it was Mewtwo's turn to chuckle. _You make it sound
difficult,_ he remarked.
Proteus, who was swimming through the subterranean river in the
Underground Dungeon as an orange Seadra, burst out of the water and
landed on a small island in the southeastern quadrant. Proteus melted
down into his normal Ditto form, then looked over at the center of the
island, where a bemused-looking Mewtwo was sitting on a rock. Proteus
quickly scanned for nearby Pokémon to turn into, and noticed a wild
Rhydon sitting on the other side of the river. Proteus quickly morphed
into a rust-colored Rhydon and approached Mewtwo. "En garde," Proteus
"As you wish," Mewtwo snorted. He started to form a giant Psybeam
in one hand. But seconds later the growing ball of psi simply fizzled
out. Mewtwo was for once astonished. "What...?"
Proteus leaned his head back and laughed. "The dampening field
doesn't just surround the cave, it's everywhere inside the cave too!
Any of your psychic powers that require more energy than telepathy are
"How could Doppler possibly wield such a power?" Mewtwo said to
"Well, obviously he can't maintain the field forever. It's
diverting all of his energy," Proteus explained, still under the guise
of a servant of Doppler. "But I'm sure the field will last just long
enough for me to give you a thorough thrashing."
"Nonsense," Mewtwo grunted. "Any strong psychic powers you
possess will be useless as well, Proteus."
"Correct as ever," a grinning Proteus replied. "But if I were a
betting Pokémon, I'd be willing to bet that you don't have nearly as
much experience with hand-to-hand combat as I do..." Proteus cracked
his giant knuckles. "As the humans say: 'put 'em up.'"
"Grendel, take us down right in front of that building."
Grendel the Aerodactyl made a three-point landing in front of the
Cinnabar Island Laboratories - workplace of Kyle Richter's father,
place of "birth" for Grendel and Torrasque, place renowned for its
ability to bring to life extinct Pokémon. It was rather late at night,
but the labs typically stayed open until midnight.
"Daaactyl!" Grendel's screeching voice rang out. He felt the
need to do brief self-congratulatory victory songs after he pulled off
a perfect landing.
"Yeah, yeah, don't you get egotistical on me too," Kyle said to
Grendel. Grendel responded with a confused look. Thanatos the Gengar
tried in Poké-ese to explain to Grendel what Kyle was talking about.
Kyle and his traveling companion Jessica got off of Grendel, and
as they headed for the entrance to the building, they found Torrasque
the Scyther standing in front of the door, holding Cathode the Pikachu
in his scaly arms and waiting impatiently for someone with an access
card to open the door.
"You beat Grendel here?" Kyle pointed out to Torrasque. "My,
aren't we anxious."
"Just open the door," Torrasque said to him. Kyle pulled from his
backpack an access card given to him by his dad, then swiped it through
the slot next to the door. The mechanical door slid open.
Torrasque and Cathode rushed inside and headed right for the main
laboratory, followed by Thanatos, then Kyle, Jessica, and the awkward
Grendel. Torrasque offered only "Hi" as a greeting to the scientists
he saw roaming the white-tiled halls on the way to the main lab.
Cathode waved to each scientist with his tiny rodent arms, even though
he knew none of the workers in the building save for Kyle's father.
Eventually Torrasque found the door to the main lab, and one of the
workers, recognizing the small Scyther, let him in. Torrasque went
immediately over to the desk where he saw Kyle's father looking
intently at a paper attached to a clipboard.
"Kachupi!" Cathode cried, nearly giving Professor Richter a heart
attack. The Professor turned around to look at his familiar guests,
then adjusted his glasses.
"Welcome back, Torrasque," the Professor greeted. He then saw
Kyle and company enter the room. "Hey, Kyle! Good to see you've
dropped by!" Grendel quickly waddled over to the Professor and licked
his face. "Yes, yes, it's good to see you too, Grendel." Thanatos
floated over to where Grendel, Torrasque, and Thanatos were, just
"...Hi, Dad," Kyle said, unsure of how his father would react to
seeing him with a girlfriend.
"And who's this with you?" the Professor asked, approaching
"This is Jessica Sullivan," Kyle explained. "We met in Celadon
City, and we've been traveling together ever since."
"Well, I'm Professor Richter," Kyle's father said. He shook
Jessica's hand. "For some reason your name sounds familiar...oh well,
maybe it's just an early stage of senility."
"Hi, Professor," Jessica jovially greeted.
There was a brief silence. The Professor turned to
Kyle. "Judging by that anxious look in Torrasque's eyes, I'll bet
you're here to meet the product of the experiment I informed Torrasque
about." He walked over and opened a door on the left side of the main
lab. "It's in here..."
Not sure what to make of things, Kyle, Jessica, and the free-
roaming Pokémon followed the Professor into the next room. The room
was mostly dark, illuminated only by the screens of a few computer
workstations. A few scientists were watching the output that was
unfolding on the screens. One wall of the room was evidently the
transparent side of a one-way mirror. On the other side of the mirror
was a well-lit room, which looked like an arena of sorts. And in the
arena, running blindingly fast on a treadmill, was a light red, female
Scyther. Torrasque seemed to enter a whole new realm of consciousness
as he saw the female. Kyle waved one hand in front of Torrasque's
face, but got no response.
"Atropos is awake and healthy," Professor Richter announced. "And,
might I add, Bill's consciousness-dubbing technology surpassed all of
our expectations. Atropos mastered an entire high-school curriculum in
just two weeks!"
Jessica watched as Atropos accidentally cut through the metal bar
on the treadmill that she was trying to hold on to. "You might say
it's technology on the 'cutting edge,'" Jessica commented, hoping her
horrendous pun would snap Torrasque out of his lovestruck trance. She
had no such luck.
The Professor walked over to one of the computer consoles, which
had a microphone attached to it. He spoke into the
microphone: "Atropos? I believe your trainer is here."
Elsewhere, David Bradley and his gigantic, murderous Rhydon,
Rampage, were exploring the lower caverns of Mount Moon, hunting down
wild Clefable and Wigglytuff, for no reason other than the fact that
David's enigmatic new master believed the otherworldly Pokémon were not
worthy of walking the Earth. Using his trusty Cougar Magnum and the
brand-new Walther P.P.K. he had bought in Saffron City, David had
already managed to kill four Wigglytuff and one Clefable. Through
sheer brute force, Rampage had murdered five Wigglytuff and an
impressive two Clefable. The team had met their quota, but they
continued hunting nonetheless, planning to hunt until sunset or until
David ran out of bullets, whichever came first. "It's a pity Goliath's
so spooked by killin'," David remarked to Rampage, who was not paying
much attention. "'E's missin' out on some fun, eh, mate?"
Rampage delicately activated the language translator he had
temporarily taken from Goliath. "Rampage no understand why David make
Goliath partner," Rampage snorted, having never taken much time to
figure out how his language translated into English. "Goliath good
speaker. But also coward. Goliath fear hunt. But Rampage no fear
hunt! Rampage fear nothing! David make Rampage partner!"
"Sorry, not gonna 'appen," David responded. "Goliath's just too
damn good at doin' the motto. And 'sides, in order not to be the
laughin'stock o' Team Rocket, I'd 'ave to name ya Goliath, and then
name Goliath the Golem somethin' else. What sort o' name for a Team
Rocket duo is 'David and Rampage?'"
"So name Rampage Goliath. Rampage no care," Rampage grunted. "And
Rampage can learn motto."
"Just keep lookin' for Clefable, ya big lummox," David commanded,
Rampage turned away and started following a strong Clefable
scent. "'David and Rampage' sound fine to Rampage," he said under his
breath. In time Rampage tracked the Clefable scent to where it was
strongest...and caught sight of the Clefable. The timid creature was
hiding behind a boulder. Knowing the Rhydon had spotted it, the
Clefable ran for its life. "Deeestroooyyy!!!" Rampage roared, as he
gave chase. The massive armored monster eventually cornered the
Clefable, and before the desperate Clefable could even perform a
Metronome, Rampage pounced upon the creature and proceeded to tear it
From David's vantage point, all he could see was a furiously
attacking Rampage, tossing bloody chunks of Clefable every which way.
David subtly averted his eyes. "That's, uh, some good work there," he
said, his distaste for watching Rampage eviscerate wild Pokémon still
slightly present even after having been brainwashed.
At the time that the light red female Scyther entered the dark
computer room, Thanatos was busy scoping out a suspicious-looking panel
on one of the walls of the room, and as he inspected the panel, it
suddenly let out a loud whirring noise and rotated one hundred and
eighty degrees. On the other side of the wall panel was a hidden
television with a Nintendo 64 hooked up to it.
"Hey! Don't let the boss see that!!!" one of the scientists in
the room shouted at Thanatos. The fun-loving Gengar paid no
attention. He turned on the television and the Nintendo,
telekinetically lifted a controller, and started playing Zelda 64.
Professor Richter chided the scientists for trying to hide a game
system from him, but he assured them he would not get rid of it.
Because of the brief commotion, only Torrasque noticed Atropos's
arrival. Atropos, like Torrasque, was short for her species, but had
abnormally large scythes. The spines on her head, as well as her scaly
muzzle, were slightly shorter than Torrasque's. Her irises were emerald
green. Her thighs and bosom were remarkably well-developed for a
Scyther. Her light red reptilian skin shone brightly in what little
light there was in the room; not like Torrasque, whose green scales had
long since lost their luster. Atropos's wings glistened with all of
the colors of the rainbow, or at least Torrasque seemed to think they
did. Torrasque forced himself not to stare at Atropos by smacking
himself in the snout with the dull side of his left scythe.
"You're...Torrasque, aren't you?" Atropos said, in a melodious
"Uh...my name is...is..." Torrasque fumbled. "Errr...line?" he
said, hoping someone nearby could fill in the blank.
"Erline? Is that Italian?" Atropos chuckled.
"...Torrasque," Torrasque responded. "I mean, my name is
"I've heard a lot about you, Torrasque," Atropos pointed
out. "Saw your baby pictures, too." Atropos pointed at a Polaroid
photograph that was sitting on a nearby desk. Torrasque looked at the
photo. The photo showed himself in the lab as a three-month-old
hatchling, reading 'The Brothers Karamazov.'" Kyle walked over and
looked at the photo too. It seemed inordinately amusing to him,
knowing that somewhere behind Torrasque's irreverent teenage façade lay
an intellect far surpassing most humans.
"I don't know what I was thinking back then," Torrasque remarked,
as he looked at the photograph. "Dostoyevsky is much too proletarian
for my tastes." There was a long period of silence. "Give me a Kurt
Vonnegut book any day..."
Atropos idly scratched the back of her head gently with one
blade. "So, ummm...now that we're together, and if we're through
delaying the inevitable...you want to get mated one of these days?"
Torrasque turned his gaze from the photograph to Atropos. "Okay,"
Kyle facefaulted. "One minute of small talk, and the two of you
are engaged?!" he shrieked.
"Well, unlike you humans with your silly dating and 'woo-ing,' we
Scyther prefer to cut right to the chase," Torrasque responded. "Pun
Kyle picked himself up off of the ground, then paused in
contemplation. "Well, Atropos, let me say now that as long as you're
traveling with us, you're going to have to pull your own weight. Which
means battling once in a while."
"Hey, I'll train her," Jessica cut in. "You've already got a
Scyther, Kyle." To make room for Atropos on her team, Jessica
teleported her Muk, Alkaline, to cyber-storage.
"So...uh, welcome to the team, Atropos," Kyle then said, and shook
hands with Atropos. Unfortunately, Kyle cut his hand open while trying
to shake Atropos's scythe. He started waving his hand around
frantically and swearing like Eric Cartman.
"Interesting customs you humans have," Atropos commented.
"You won't regret this, Kyle!" Torrasque said, a wide reptilian
grin on his face.
"I may already be regretting it," Kyle responded. He wiped the
blood from his hand off on to his jeans.
Meanwhile, deep within the Underground Dungeon...
"My master was right about you, Mewtwo," Proteus grunted, as he
gave the humanoid feline a vicious left jab to the face. "You're so
reliant on your nigh-infinite psychic powers, you wouldn't know what to
do if one day your powers ran out." Proteus hit Mewtwo with a left
hook, and the catlike Pokémon stumbled to the ground. As he attempted
to get up, Proteus tailwhipped him back down.
Proteus glanced at Mewtwo's mouth, and he could clearly see a
reddish fluid trickling down from the creature's lips. "Well, what do
you know? The omnipotent lord of Pokémon *does* bleed after all,"
Proteus remarked. Proteus took several steps back, then charged and
punted Mewtwo through a stalagmite.
Mewtwo slowly got up and grabbed the broken chunk of stalagmite
from the cave floor. He rushed at Proteus and hit him in the head with
it. "Please...you're using a rock against a creature that's made of
rock?" Proteus the Rhydon chuckled, casually swatting Mewtwo
aside. "Well, I suppose you're only as good as the pathetic humans who
"Just keep believing that," Mewtwo shot back. His hands started
glowing yellow. "Within minutes this wretched dampening field will
dissipate..." Mewtwo then unleashed a Swift attack from both hands.
Proteus stood in one place and watched as his hide easily deflected the
barrage of mini-stars.
"Minutes are more than you have," Proteus snapped. He playfully
poked Mewtwo in the gut a few times with the gigantic drill-horn
protruding from his stone muzzle. Then he gave Mewtwo a giant headbutt
which sent him crashing into the far wall of the cave.
Proteus very slowly started trundling over to where Mewtwo lay,
roughly twenty feet away from his previous position. Mewtwo took one
last look at his approaching opponent, then at last, the feline's eyes
closed and he fainted.
"They said it couldn't be done!" Proteus bellowed. "But I've
done it! Mewtwo is all mine!!!" He slung the helpless white and
purple genetic hybrid over his shoulder, then started a long and slow
trek to the cave exit.
Proteus did not get far before he received an incoming telepathic
message from his master: _Excellent work, Proteus! The dampening field
is now down. Stand by for teleportation back to base._
Proteus started whistling a merry tune, waiting to be teleported
out of the dungeon. As he stood there in the cave, he took no notice
of the fact that Mewtwo's eyes were wide open, and glowing purple.
Then, before Proteus knew what had happened, Mewtwo had disappeared in
a purple flash.
"What?!" Proteus roared. He was
thunderstruck. "Impossible...!!! How could he have recovered so
Mewtwo's voice echoed throughout the cave. "It was simple...I
merely used a technique very appropriately known as Recover."
"Coward!" Proteus bellowed, knowing Mewtwo had to be somewhere
nearby. "Show yourself!!!"
"Why, I am right behind you," Mewtwo said. Proteus whirled
around, and saw nothing behind him but the cave setting. Then
something exploded against his back. Proteus was knocked head over
heels. He crashed to the ground with such an impact that it shook a
few stalactites from the ceiling.
Proteus got up quickly, rage burning in his
eyes. "Invisibility?! Is that it?!" he growled. "Wretch! You have
Mewtwo then materialized sitting right on top of Proteus's
head. "Tell that to 'the pathetic humans who made me,'" Mewtwo
snapped. His powers fully restored, Mewtwo became invisible again.
Then he floated into the air and rocked Proteus with a huge purple psi-
blast. The Ditto-Rhydon slammed to the cave floor.
"Two can play at this game, then!" Proteus snapped. From his
position on the ground, he fired off a giant Psybeam in the direction
Mewtwo's blast had come from. The invisible Mewtwo easily swatted the
Psybeam away. The psychedelic beam hit a far wall and exploded with
such violence that it became evident that the ceiling of the lower cave
level was near collapse.
Proteus then pushed his psionic abilities to their limit and
started to gather a staggering amount of psi into each of his fists,
which started glowing with a brilliant blue light. Then he opened his
fists, pointed them in Mewtwo's direction, and then proceeded to
unleash Psybeam after Psybeam from his hands, at a rate comparable to
machine gun fire. But Proteus watched with dread as each and every one
of his shots was deflected effortlessly by the hovering Mewtwo. The
cave rumbled and clattered with the force of the myriad psi
explosions. Stalactites came crashing down everywhere. Both
combatants seemed to ignore the fact that the ceiling was coming
"I admit, you did surprisingly well in the first round, Proteus,"
Mewtwo confessed. He once again became visible. As he floated in the
air, his entire body was surrounded by a nimbus of what appeared to be
purple flame. "You revealed the chink in my proverbial armor: physical
combat. A weakness which I will work hard to dispose of." Mewtwo
raised his arms high above his head, and a glowing orb of purple psi
appeared above him. He was preparing for his strongest attack -
Psychic. "Do not worry...I will be sure to tell Doppler just how much
of a challenge you provided for me before I ultimately scattered your
atoms across the planet." The psi-orb then exploded with a blinding
multicolored light, and Proteus was engulfed by a gigantic wave of
pure psi. Everything within radius of the blast was literally being
torn apart. Proteus screamed in agony as, unable to hold himself
together any longer, he was reduced to a series of viscous black
splatters on the floor and wall of the cave. The red jewel that
Proteus always bore upon his forehead was inside one of the splatters,
stuck to the wall.
When the Psychic attack at last subsided, Mewtwo decided he had
best move his home to an upper level of the cave, as the ceiling of the
lower level was continuing to fall. "Farewell, Proteus," Mewtwo called
out. He then snapped his fingers and teleported away right before the
whole ceiling caved in with an earsplitting CRASH that shook up the
inhabitants of the nearby Cerulean City.
Minutes later, as the cave was once again calm and the dust was
clearing, something oozed up from the gigantic pile of collapsed rock
on the bottom of the Underground Dungeon. A cluster of tiny black
blobs crawled out from under the wreckage, one of the blobs carrying a
small red jewel inside of it. The tiny blobs gradually fused into one
blob, and on the one blob, a mouth and two glowing yellow eyes
appeared. The red jewel was once again visible, set into the
polymorphous black blob's makeshift forehead.
"See you later, Mewtwo," the reconstructed Proteus said rather
quietly. Then he disappeared in a purple flash.
My villains ain't chumps! ^^;;;
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the
former." --Albert Einstein
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Share what you know. Learn what you don't.