From: Shard Fields or Megasomething <goola2u@aol.compostheap> Subject: [PW!] You Knew He’d Be There Some Day Date: Saturday, August 07, 1999 7:17 PM Shard wandered aimlessly through the depths of Mt. Moon. The places they’d closed off, where you weren’t supposed to go. But Shard had gone anyway, despite the fact that it was too dark to see anything. Suddenly, Shard saw a bright light. As he walked towards it, he became increasingly sure it wasn’t the Clefairy he was looking for. Curiosity, however, got the better of him. "Since when is there a restaurant in here? Hmm... Fraxe’s, the restaurant at the end of the author’s creative juices. Hmm... I do hope there’s a good plot line in here, and it isn’t just a rip-off of Douglas Adams. Given the presentation, though, I doubt it." Shard walked right in, and sat down to wait for a table. Fraxe’s, as everyone knows except you, is where characters go to grab a bite when their authors are feeling particularly uninspired. The food is free, seeing as the place is fictional, and you never know who you might meet. Shard was SURE he overheard Waspinator babbling his troubles while sipping some slightly irradiated energon. "And while everyone elzzze goezz merrily off to zzzpin-off zzeries, Wazzpinator getzzzz left behind on prehizzztoric Earth... Why univerzzze like to be mean to Wazzpinator?" Shard just sat down. Given that they had characters all but stacked up in here, he was sure it’d be a bit of a wait. He wandered into the bar to get a drink, but quickly ducked back out to avoid the shower of Waspinator parts. Obi-Wan Kenobi laughed. "Watch your step. This place can be a little rough." "I’m ready for anything," scoffed Shard. "Except that," added Kirby, who was about to be escorted to his table, and was being warned by the waitress of the consequences should he inhale the all-you-can-eat buffet whole again. Shard waited for what seemed like an eternity, and may indeed have been, due to the wonders of fanfiction chronology, continuity wreckage, and all that junk, before getting to a table. Shard didn’t age noticeably, however, which was good. The last thing he needed was to age noticeably, and have to return to continuity looking like he was from the future or something. After remembering after the fact of the Barenaked Ladies concert, he didn’t want much more to go wrong, other than getting lost, which had already happened. Favorite band, and he’d missed the concert. Go figure. In any case, the food was good, although the menu was a bit generic and uninspired, as was to be expected of such a place. After he and his pokemon had eaten their fill without incident, Shard departed. As he did, a tremendously fast flying thing zoomed past him and crashed into the wall. Shard threw a pokeball at it, and caught it. "I do hope it was a Clefairy," said Shard, though it was a bit late now. "A Clefairy with goggles and a not-too-great jet pack," droned Oracle, Shard’s pokedex, the digital voice only hinting at the amusement. "I suggest you let the odd creature out," it advised, "to find out exactly what its problem is." Shard complied, and a very dizzy looking Clefairy popped out. It had an odd medallion around its neck, which Shard assumed was strictly ornamental. Shard soon thought otherwise, however, as the Clefairy spoke, the medallion lighting up and displaying things on a digital screen. "Whoa, what a joyride. Last time I mess with spare jeep bits, I can say that." Now that it was in the light, Shard could see that the medallion was made of spare pokedex bits. "Alas, poor Prowl," lamented Oracle. Maybe he knew the medallion in question. Suddenly, the Clefairy came back to Earth. "Oh no! I’ve been captured! Well, not much to do about it. I suppose you’re going to name me? Well, in any case, I suppose it’s for the better, they don’t quite like my inventions around here." "Name you?" said Shard distractedly. "Oh yeah, how about Tinker?" "As in Tinkerbell? Yuck!" said the Clefairy disdainfully. "Or as in tinkering, tinkerer, and all that stuff," clarified Shard, "it works on a couple levels." "Hmm... In that case, I like it. Now, where are we?’ laughed Tinker. "Actually," said Shard hesitantly, "I was hoping you could tell ME." "WE’RE LOST!" shouted both in unison. TBC .sig not included. Shard Fields on AGNP Megasomething on ATT