Subject: Re: [PW!] You Knew He’d Be There Some Day
Date: Monday, August 09, 1999 5:39 AM
In article <email@example.com>,
firstname.lastname@example.org (Shard Fields or Megasomething) wrote:
> Shard wandered aimlessly through the depths of Mt. Moon. The places
> closed off, where you weren’t supposed to go. But Shard had gone
> despite the fact that it was too dark to see anything.
> Suddenly, Shard saw a bright light. As he walked towards it, he
> increasingly sure it wasn’t the Clefairy he was looking for.
> however, got the better of him.
> "Since when is there a restaurant in here? Hmm... Fraxe’s, the
> the end of the author’s creative juices. Hmm... I do hope there’s a
> line in here, and it isn’t just a rip-off of Douglas Adams. Given the
> presentation, though, I doubt it."
> Shard walked right in, and sat down to wait for a table. Fraxe’s, as
> knows except you, is where characters go to grab a bite when their
> feeling particularly uninspired. The food is free, seeing as the
> fictional, and you never know who you might meet. Shard was SURE he
> Waspinator babbling his troubles while sipping some slightly
> "And while everyone elzzze goezz merrily off to zzzpin-off zzeries,
> getzzzz left behind on prehizzztoric Earth... Why univerzzze like to
be mean to
> Shard just sat down. Given that they had characters all but stacked
> here, he was sure it’d be a bit of a wait. He wandered into the bar
to get a
> drink, but quickly ducked back out to avoid the shower of Waspinator
> Obi-Wan Kenobi laughed. "Watch your step. This place can be a little
> "I’m ready for anything," scoffed Shard. "Except that," added Kirby,
> about to be escorted to his table, and was being warned by the
waitress of the
> consequences should he inhale the all-you-can-eat buffet whole again.
> Shard waited for what seemed like an eternity, and may indeed have
been, due to
> the wonders of fanfiction chronology, continuity wreckage, and all
> before getting to a table. Shard didn’t age noticeably, however,
> good. The last thing he needed was to age noticeably, and have to
> continuity looking like he was from the future or something. After
> after the fact of the Barenaked Ladies concert, he didn’t want much
more to go
> wrong, other than getting lost, which had already happened. Favorite
> he’d missed the concert. Go figure.
> In any case, the food was good, although the menu was a bit generic
> uninspired, as was to be expected of such a place. After he and his
> had eaten their fill without incident, Shard departed. As he did, a
> tremendously fast flying thing zoomed past him and crashed into the
> Shard threw a pokeball at it, and caught it. "I do hope it was a
> said Shard, though it was a bit late now. "A Clefairy with goggles
> not-too-great jet pack," droned Oracle, Shard’s pokedex, the digital
> hinting at the amusement. "I suggest you let the odd creature out,"
> advised, "to find out exactly what its problem is."
> Shard complied, and a very dizzy looking Clefairy popped out. It had
> medallion around its neck, which Shard assumed was strictly
> soon thought otherwise, however, as the Clefairy spoke, the medallion
> up and displaying things on a digital screen. "Whoa, what a joyride.
> time I mess with spare jeep bits, I can say that." Now that it was in
> light, Shard could see that the medallion was made of spare pokedex
> "Alas, poor Prowl," lamented Oracle. Maybe he knew the medallion in
> Suddenly, the Clefairy came back to Earth. "Oh no! I’ve been
> not much to do about it. I suppose you’re going to name me? Well, in
> case, I suppose it’s for the better, they don’t quite like my
> "Name you?" said Shard distractedly. "Oh yeah, how about Tinker?"
> Tinkerbell? Yuck!" said the Clefairy disdainfully. "Or as in
> tinkerer, and all that stuff," clarified Shard, "it works on a couple
> "Hmm... In that case, I like it. Now, where are we?’ laughed Tinker.
> "Actually," said Shard hesitantly, "I was hoping you could tell ME."
> "WE’RE LOST!" shouted both in unison.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . .
Nisemon was lost. Well, a little. Some would say that you can't be a
little lost, that you're either lost or you aren't lost. However Nisemon
was never one of two extremes, but always stuck somewhere in the middle.
Due to the much-maligned slight omnipotency that had been the sole topic
of conversation whenever Nisemon was present, this Ditto had the ability
to see quite well in the dark. Like all Nisemon's other attributes
however, it wasn't much use.
Nisemon was too crazy to even think straight, let alone see straight.
The carbon-copy of Jessie stumbled along the caverns in a way that never
could be attributed to the real Jessie. Nisemon was bored. There had
been no humans to torment since... since when? Since round about the
time that Nisemon had stolen Mondo's jeep. Had it been such a smart idea
to go into a cavern that was generally only populated by Pokemon? Maybe
not. Nisemon had no time for pokemon. Nisemon did not even care to admit
to actually being one.
Suddenly, a new idea surfaced in the crazy Ditto's mind. The idea that
some unknown force was perhaps behind all this, and had maybe driven him
(her) to take this route. But why? What was Nisemon doing here? And then
the situation became apparent. Nise-Jessie rounded a corner and saw.....
finally! A human! Best of all, a Rocket. Even better, a particularly
easy target even as far as Rocket agents went. Well, an easy target for
Nisemon anyway. But before the 'target' could turn around and see Jessie
standing there, Nisemon quickly ducked into the shadows and considered
the next move. As if it needed any consideration…
"Damn" thought Nisemon. "I don't have a trenchcoat on me."
But the Ditto morphed into another form nonetheless. Then nise-Maria
peered out of the shadows, and wondered how to tackle this situation.
There was a problem. Shard had on him the item that Nisemon feared most
in the world, a malevolent, twisted little device that any Ditto with a
sense of purpose was mortally terrified of. A Pokedex. Nisemon
considered this. Maybe it wasn't too clever to go out there and torment
Shard, what with the evil little weapon he was carrying and all.
No, sod that. Where was the fun in quietly retreating? Nisemon would
just have to be particularly convincing. So nise-Maria walked gleefully
out of the darkness in the most flitatious matter possible, wearing a
look of total delight on her face.
It was not in the least bit convincing.
Naturally, Shard was totally taken in.
"Hi Shard!" said nise-Maria. "It's so nice to see you. I'm so happy that
I've found you. I've been following you, you know that, don't you?"
"Following.... me?" It was hard to believe, and yet Shard foolishly
allowed himself to believe it. The question was, could his mind handle
the concept that Maria would give a damn about him, enough to follow him
into a god-forsaken place like this? He felt awfully faint all of a
sudden. Nevertheless he still managed to close the pokedex that he held
in his hand. No interruptions were required at this point.
Nise-Maria visibly heaved a sigh of relief.
"Hey," said Tinker. "Who's the cute..." His voice was cut off as Shard
silently pushed the button on the pokeball, and recalled the Clefairy.
Nise-Maria walked right up to Shard, as close as she could get without
actually knocking him over, which she would have done had she tried it
because he appeared totally petrified, afraid to make a move.
"I've missed you," said nise-Maria. "I wanted to apologise to you for
the way I've been ignoring you. The fact is, I was scared of what would
happen if I told you how I felt. I know it doesn't seem that way, but I
really am shy you know..."
It was ludicrous. Nisemon was enjoying the charade thoroughly. As for
Shard.. well. Shard was totally speechless, half-waiting for the put
down, and half hoping for what he thought Maria might say. No it was
stupid. Wasn't it? Shard was more confused than Nisemon, and Nisemon was
always confused. But he was more flummoxed than Nisemon ever had been...
"The fact is..." nise-Maria allowed herself a melodramatic sob, "That I
really, really care about you, and I was so scared that if I'd said
this, you'd have laughed at me. Oh Shard, please don't laugh at me!" She
broke down in apparent tears, and covered her face with her hands. Well,
Nisemon had to do this. Otherwise the contorted grin that was now hidden
would have become apparent. In fact, Nisemon had to clamp one of Maria's
hands over Maria's mouth to prevent the hysterical, maniac laughter that
was about to break forth.
Shard did not notice when he dropped the Pokedex on the floor. Neither
did he notice when he did similar to the Pokeball containing his latest
- Shimarisu (apologies to all parties concerned...)
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