From: Shard Fields or Megasomething <goola2u@aol.compostheap> Subject: Re: [PW!] You Knew He’d Be There Some Day Date: Tuesday, August 10, 1999 5:56 AM >> Shard wandered aimlessly through the depths of Mt. Moon. The places >they’d >> closed off, where you weren’t supposed to go. But Shard had gone >anyway, >> despite the fact that it was too dark to see anything. >> >> Suddenly, Shard saw a bright light. As he walked towards it, he >became >> increasingly sure it wasn’t the Clefairy he was looking for. >Curiosity, >> however, got the better of him. >> >> "Since when is there a restaurant in here? Hmm... Fraxe’s, the >restaurant at >> the end of the author’s creative juices. Hmm... I do hope there’s a >good plot >> line in here, and it isn’t just a rip-off of Douglas Adams. Given the >> presentation, though, I doubt it." >> >> Shard walked right in, and sat down to wait for a table. Fraxe’s, as >everyone >> knows except you, is where characters go to grab a bite when their >authors are >> feeling particularly uninspired. The food is free, seeing as the >place is >> fictional, and you never know who you might meet. Shard was SURE he >overheard >> Waspinator babbling his troubles while sipping some slightly >irradiated >> energon. >> >> "And while everyone elzzze goezz merrily off to zzzpin-off zzeries, >Wazzpinator >> getzzzz left behind on prehizzztoric Earth... Why univerzzze like to >be mean to >> Wazzpinator?" >> >> Shard just sat down. Given that they had characters all but stacked >up in >> here, he was sure it’d be a bit of a wait. He wandered into the bar >to get a >> drink, but quickly ducked back out to avoid the shower of Waspinator >parts. >> Obi-Wan Kenobi laughed. "Watch your step. This place can be a little >rough." >> "I’m ready for anything," scoffed Shard. "Except that," added Kirby, >who was >> about to be escorted to his table, and was being warned by the >waitress of the >> consequences should he inhale the all-you-can-eat buffet whole again. >> >> Shard waited for what seemed like an eternity, and may indeed have >been, due to >> the wonders of fanfiction chronology, continuity wreckage, and all >that junk, >> before getting to a table. Shard didn’t age noticeably, however, >which was >> good. The last thing he needed was to age noticeably, and have to >return to >> continuity looking like he was from the future or something. After >remembering >> after the fact of the Barenaked Ladies concert, he didn’t want much >more to go >> wrong, other than getting lost, which had already happened. Favorite >band, and >> he’d missed the concert. Go figure. >> >> In any case, the food was good, although the menu was a bit generic >and >> uninspired, as was to be expected of such a place. After he and his >pokemon >> had eaten their fill without incident, Shard departed. As he did, a >> tremendously fast flying thing zoomed past him and crashed into the >wall. >> Shard threw a pokeball at it, and caught it. "I do hope it was a >Clefairy," >> said Shard, though it was a bit late now. "A Clefairy with goggles >and a >> not-too-great jet pack," droned Oracle, Shard’s pokedex, the digital >voice only >> hinting at the amusement. "I suggest you let the odd creature out," >it >> advised, "to find out exactly what its problem is." >> >> Shard complied, and a very dizzy looking Clefairy popped out. It had >an odd >> medallion around its neck, which Shard assumed was strictly >ornamental. Shard >> soon thought otherwise, however, as the Clefairy spoke, the medallion >lighting >> up and displaying things on a digital screen. "Whoa, what a joyride. > Last >> time I mess with spare jeep bits, I can say that." Now that it was in >the >> light, Shard could see that the medallion was made of spare pokedex >bits. >> "Alas, poor Prowl," lamented Oracle. Maybe he knew the medallion in >question. >> >> Suddenly, the Clefairy came back to Earth. "Oh no! I’ve been >captured! Well, >> not much to do about it. I suppose you’re going to name me? Well, in >any >> case, I suppose it’s for the better, they don’t quite like my >inventions around >> here." >> >> "Name you?" said Shard distractedly. "Oh yeah, how about Tinker?" >"As in >> Tinkerbell? Yuck!" said the Clefairy disdainfully. "Or as in >tinkering, >> tinkerer, and all that stuff," clarified Shard, "it works on a couple >levels." >> "Hmm... In that case, I like it. Now, where are we?’ laughed Tinker. >> "Actually," said Shard hesitantly, "I was hoping you could tell ME." >> >> "WE’RE LOST!" shouted both in unison. > >. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . > >Nisemon was lost. Well, a little. Some would say that you can't be a >little lost, that you're either lost or you aren't lost. However Nisemon >was never one of two extremes, but always stuck somewhere in the middle. >Due to the much-maligned slight omnipotency that had been the sole topic >of conversation whenever Nisemon was present, this Ditto had the ability >to see quite well in the dark. Like all Nisemon's other attributes >however, it wasn't much use. > >Nisemon was too crazy to even think straight, let alone see straight. > >The carbon-copy of Jessie stumbled along the caverns in a way that never >could be attributed to the real Jessie. Nisemon was bored. There had >been no humans to torment since... since when? Since round about the >time that Nisemon had stolen Mondo's jeep. Had it been such a smart idea >to go into a cavern that was generally only populated by Pokemon? Maybe >not. Nisemon had no time for pokemon. Nisemon did not even care to admit >to actually being one. > >Suddenly, a new idea surfaced in the crazy Ditto's mind. The idea that >some unknown force was perhaps behind all this, and had maybe driven him >(her) to take this route. But why? What was Nisemon doing here? And then >the situation became apparent. Nise-Jessie rounded a corner and saw..... >finally! A human! Best of all, a Rocket. Even better, a particularly >easy target even as far as Rocket agents went. Well, an easy target for >Nisemon anyway. But before the 'target' could turn around and see Jessie >standing there, Nisemon quickly ducked into the shadows and considered >the next move. As if it needed any consideration… > >"Damn" thought Nisemon. "I don't have a trenchcoat on me." > >But the Ditto morphed into another form nonetheless. Then nise-Maria >peered out of the shadows, and wondered how to tackle this situation. >There was a problem. Shard had on him the item that Nisemon feared most >in the world, a malevolent, twisted little device that any Ditto with a >sense of purpose was mortally terrified of. A Pokedex. Nisemon >considered this. Maybe it wasn't too clever to go out there and torment >Shard, what with the evil little weapon he was carrying and all. > >No, sod that. Where was the fun in quietly retreating? Nisemon would >just have to be particularly convincing. So nise-Maria walked gleefully >out of the darkness in the most flitatious matter possible, wearing a >look of total delight on her face. > >It was not in the least bit convincing. > >Naturally, Shard was totally taken in. > >"Hi Shard!" said nise-Maria. "It's so nice to see you. I'm so happy that >I've found you. I've been following you, you know that, don't you?" > >"Following.... me?" It was hard to believe, and yet Shard foolishly >allowed himself to believe it. The question was, could his mind handle >the concept that Maria would give a damn about him, enough to follow him >into a god-forsaken place like this? He felt awfully faint all of a >sudden. Nevertheless he still managed to close the pokedex that he held >in his hand. No interruptions were required at this point. > >Nise-Maria visibly heaved a sigh of relief. > >"Hey," said Tinker. "Who's the cute..." His voice was cut off as Shard >silently pushed the button on the pokeball, and recalled the Clefairy. > >Nise-Maria walked right up to Shard, as close as she could get without >actually knocking him over, which she would have done had she tried it >because he appeared totally petrified, afraid to make a move. > >"I've missed you," said nise-Maria. "I wanted to apologise to you for >the way I've been ignoring you. The fact is, I was scared of what would >happen if I told you how I felt. I know it doesn't seem that way, but I >really am shy you know..." > >It was ludicrous. Nisemon was enjoying the charade thoroughly. As for >Shard.. well. Shard was totally speechless, half-waiting for the put >down, and half hoping for what he thought Maria might say. No it was >stupid. Wasn't it? Shard was more confused than Nisemon, and Nisemon was >always confused. But he was more flummoxed than Nisemon ever had been... > >"The fact is..." nise-Maria allowed herself a melodramatic sob, "That I >really, really care about you, and I was so scared that if I'd said >this, you'd have laughed at me. Oh Shard, please don't laugh at me!" She >broke down in apparent tears, and covered her face with her hands. Well, >Nisemon had to do this. Otherwise the contorted grin that was now hidden >would have become apparent. In fact, Nisemon had to clamp one of Maria's >hands over Maria's mouth to prevent the hysterical, maniac laughter that >was about to break forth. > >Shard did not notice when he dropped the Pokedex on the floor. Neither >did he notice when he did similar to the Pokeball containing his latest >acquisition... Shard soon noticed, as the pokeball rolled and bumped into his foot. He bent down to pick up the two, when the pokedex went off. "That’s a Ditto! Shard, what the heck are you doing?" "Not caring about authenticity?" Shard laughed, as he pushed Oracle’s "mute" button. "So, um, Maria, er, Padme, er, Mariaplex, er... what should I call you? Um..." Shard became just as speechless as he would have been had this been the real thing. "Um... I don’t much care about authen… HEY!" By now, Nisemon had no way of hiding her laughter. She was, in fact, no longer trying. All this did not go unnoticed by Shard, who fled, weeping, further into the depths of Mt. Moon. Nisemon, laughing so hard that she reverted to its natural state (Sorry for the confusion, but he went from a female form to a gender-nonspecific one) didn’t notice, not that it would have cared. Shard, however, merely knelt down to weep. The Zubats, for some reason, did not attack him. They had a reason, though what is was meant little to Shard. He sat down on a Geodude, who didn’t much seem to mind, since it wasn’t planning on going anywhere, and flt pity for the poor heartbroken fool. Before we go any further, on to the reason for the Zubats’ passiveness. I warn you, it’s rather arcane. Anyhow, Zubats can sense, and taste, emotions. And heartbreak is rather sour, and goes very poorly with most things, and is especially bad when drank alone. The Zubats usually pass up on consuming a sorrowful life, as the fear will not flare up. Fear, of course, is their favorite taste. No pokedex will tell you this... but they won’t tell you otherwise, should you be callous enough to ask. In any case, Shard poked the Geodude in the eye trying to get comfortable. Needless to say, it was not taken silently. "GEEEOOO!" screamed the rock, in pain. "Sorry," said Shard, disconnectedly. Suddenly, a snicker shot through Shard’s mind, going up and down his spine, and chilling him to the bone. "Poor little boy," laughed Sabrina. "Hmmm... Maybe you’d like me to take care of your misery." Shard menatlly cursed Sabrina out, then began, again, to run. Sabrina’s psychic lock began to weaken, due to some effect of the Moon Stone pieces scattered around. In a while, Shard was alone. Both in the good sense, and the bad one. But he was STILL lost. TBC .sig not included. Shard Fields on AGNP Megasomething on ATT