From: Karnivax
Subject: [PW!] Best of the Best (continued)
Date: Friday, September 17, 1999 2:37 PM
Now that my two freakiest villains are finished with their business at
Natasha and Tenchi's wedding, I can go back to writing for my main
characters! And now I think I'm finally beginning to see how Kyle
wound up as the #5 seed in Sirius's NC tournament...
--BEST OF THE BEST--
Part 3
by Karnivax
The poorly-lit lair of the Elite Four's second member had contents
that were disparate to the point of being mysterious. The floors and
walls were heavily padded. The ceiling was about thirty feet from the
floor, and there was a skylight that was not receiving much light.
There was various bodybuilding equipment in a far corner. The
obligatory Pokémon arena was directly in the center of the room, but
positioned all around the outside edge of the arena were marble statues
of various Pokémon. Once again the room seemed deserted, so Kyle took
a few minutes to observe the many statues. The statues portrayed only
fighting-type Pokémon, fully evolved...Hitmonlee, Hitmonchan, Primeape,
and Poliwrath, to name a few. _Well...I guess I know what type of
Pokémon this next trainer's going to be using,_ Kyle thought. He
readied the Pokéball containing Grendel, figuring it was about time for
Grendel to at last get over his fear of unfamiliar humans. Then he
just stood in his position at one end of the arena and waited for the
next trainer to make some spectacular entrance.
As he stood, Kyle noticed one of the panels in the floor making a
whirring sound. The panel went down like an elevator, and when it rose
back up roughly fifteen seconds later, Kyle could make out a gigantic
shadowy figure standing on it. "Pardon my lateness," the figure said
in a deep, masculine voice. "I was in my workshop, putting the
finishing touches on my latest masterpiece."
"So you made these statues?" Kyle deduced.
The figure responded, "Of course. Pokémon training isn't my only
hobby, you know." The figure then walked close enough to Kyle that he
could see the person clearly.
_Good Goddish,_ Kyle thought upon getting a closer look at the
sculptor. _It's a skyscraper with arms!!!_ The mysterious sculptor
was a roughly seven foot-tall mountain of a man, whose arms and legs
were so large they bordered on being anatomically impossible. He was
wearing rather tattered shorts, sandals, and a sweaty gray tank top.
He was carrying five Pokéballs on a leather belt, and he held in his
hand a hammer and a chisel. His face had sort of a permanent glare,
and it seemed that his eyes were almost entirely closed. His hair was
brown and spiky. Basically, he looked like he could have been Brock's
uncle.
"I'm Bruno," the man announced. "Second member of the Elite
Four. If you've made it this far, you're either a very good
trainer...or an exceedingly lucky trainer. The boy who came through
here yesterday defeated me with one Pokémon alone. And it wasn't even
a psychic or flying-type Pokémon. It was an impressive display, I must
say. I believe the boy's name was Vincenzo..."
Kyle facefaulted.
"But I've digressed enough. You are limited to just three Pokémon
in this battle," Bruno continued. "I'll begin with...Hitmonlee!"
Bruno tossed out a Pokéball, and the so-called Kicking Fiend,
Hitmonlee, materialized on the battlefield.
The humanoid creature unleashed a rapid flurry of short kicks, and
even a few punches. "Hit mon leeeee!" it bellowed. Hitmonlee pointed
at Kyle, waiting for him to send out a challenger.
"In that case...I choose Aerodactyl!" Kyle released Grendel,
secretly praying to Goddish that Grendel would fight. The Aerodactyl
glanced at Hitmonlee and was unafraid. But eventually Grendel's glance
shifted to Bruno, and the Aerodactyl's composure went right out the
window. Before Grendel could try to get away, however, Kyle lunged at
Grendel and held on tight to his tail. "Calm down, will ya?" Kyle
grunted, as Grendel dragged Kyle all around the room. "That guy isn't
going to hurt you! I promise!!!"
But it was no good. Grendel broke free from Kyle's grasp and
started flying madly around the room, squawking "AEEEROOOOO!!!" Bruno
just stood and watched for a while, frowning.
Kyle smacked himself in the face. "Return," he commanded, and
tried to latch on to Grendel with the energy beam of his Pokéball. But
Grendel was simply too fast. In frustration, Kyle hurled the Pokéball
at Grendel, and struck him right in the side of his muzzle. Grendel
squealed in pain and crashed to the ground.
Kyle went to retrieve the Pokéball and recall Grendel when all of
a sudden the Aerodactyl sheepishly got up and waddled into the arena,
ready to fight. "...The hell?" wondered Kyle. Deciding not to look a
gift Ponyta in the mouth, Kyle put the empty Pokéball away and prepared
for battle.
"I believe I heard Lance mention this," Bruno said. "The only way
to exert full control over an Aerodactyl is to give it a good hard hit
on the 'pecking spot'...right on either side of its snout.
Paleontologists think that in prehistoric times, the pecking spot was
the target that male Aerodactyl would aim for in battles to establish
dominance."
Kyle thought about that, knowing it could only have been one of
Robert Bakker's theories. Then he shouted out, "All right! Grendel,
Wing Attack!"
The clumsy Grendel squawked compliantly and lunged at Hitmonlee,
then brought up one wing and struck Hitmonlee hard with it, nearly
knocking him down. Hitmonlee prevented falling by backflipping after
getting hit.
"Rolling Kick!" Bruno ordered.
"Mon lee!" Hitmonlee somersaulted toward Grendel and kicked the
avian in the face. Grendel backed away, then shook his head. Kyle
could have sworn that he heard a rattling sound.
"Jump Kick!" Bruno commanded, before Kyle could even get another
command off. Hitmonlee jumped and gave Grendel a mighty kick in the
side of the head, knocking Grendel head over talons.
"What's going on here?" Kyle protested. "Flying is supposed to be
strong against fighting!"
"Come now...I don't even own an Aerodactyl, and I know for a fact
that they are horrendously weak against fighting attacks," Bruno
pointed out. "You see, Aerodactyl are rock Pokémon as well as flying
Pokémon..."
"...And fighting crushes rock," Kyle sighed. Faster than Kyle
could recall Grendel, Hitmonlee went ahead with a powerful High Jump
Kick which knocked Grendel clear out of the arena. When Grendel hit
the ground, he let out a pathetic squeal and slipped into
unconsciousness. Kyle withdrew Grendel and mentally grumbled about how
Grendel seemed to have gotten weaker after finally being tamed.
_Wonderful...now both Espio and Grendel are out._
Kyle then remembered that he had an ace up his sleeve. He tossed
out a Pokéball and released Thanatos the Gengar. If Thanatos could for
once be convinced to battle, he would win hands down against Hitmonlee.
Thanatos glanced at Hitmonlee, and the image brought back
memories. He remembered the first confrontation with Shard Fields,
where Torrasque had gotten clobbered by Pain Dance the Hitmonlee.
Thanatos remembered how things would have been different if he had been
the one fighting Pain Dance. Wanting to show Kyle his folly in sending
Torrasque to battle Shard's Hitmonlee, Thanatos stood before Bruno's
Hitmonlee and taunted the Kicking Fiend into fighting with the
old "bent-arm wave."
"Lee!!!" the fighting Pokémon roared. His face reddened with
anger. He charged and tried to crush Thanatos with a High Jump Kick.
But Hitmonlee passed right through his ephemeral opponent, and
clumsily crashed to the ground. He furiously got up and attempted a
more basic Rolling Kick, but again he connected with nothing but air.
As Hitmonlee tried to kick Thanatos again and again without effect, his
rage gradually turned into sheer confusion.
"Thanatos, Psychic!" Kyle shouted.
"Gen gar!" Thanatos answered, with a nod of his whole intangible
body. He floated up into the air, pulled out his phantom guitar, and
started playing the Goo Goo Dolls's "Long Way Down." Then Hitmonlee -
ensnared within the invisible web of Thanatos's frightening
telekinesis - started floating as well. Thanatos telekinetically
lifted Hitmonlee all the way up to the ceiling, then dropped him thirty
feet to the floor, then lifted him again, dropped him again, lifted
him, dropped him. By the time Thanatos released his telekinetic hold,
Hitmonlee was thoroughly knocked out. Thanatos put his guitar away.
Bruno withdrew Hitmonlee. "You're better than I thought...but
don't let yourself think that all of my Pokémon are as helpless against
ghosts," Bruno said to Kyle. Then Bruno sent out the humanoid Pokémon
also known as the Punching Demon. "Case in point. Hitmonchan, Fire
Punch!"
"Mon chan!" Hitmonchan raised one boxing glove skyward, and the
glove started blazing with an unnatural flame. With blinding speed,
Hitmonchan charged and punched Thanatos. The glove itself did not hit
the Gengar, but the fire that surrounded the glove did. Thanatos
caught on fire, then ran around the arena and screamed madly. Thanatos
ultimately put out the flames by whirling himself into a mini-tornado ŕ
la Taz the Tasmanian Devil.
"Now, Ice Punch!" came Bruno's next order. This time Hitmonchan's
glove became surrounded by a cloud of what looked like dense mist. He
jabbed the gyrating Thanatos and froze him solid, ending the wild
whirling. Seconds later, however, Thanatos - who could only be
contained by Pokéballs and other telekinetics - floated out of his icy
prison and shook himself off like a wet dog.
"G - g - g - gen - g - g - gar," he stammered, shivering from the
cold. Kyle told him to use Hypnosis, but Thanatos was in no position
to follow the order.
"Thunder Punch!" Bruno commanded. One of Hitmonchan's gloves
became charged with electricity, and with his third jab, he arced a
stunning current into Thanatos that sent the pseudo-ghost into a crazed
conniption of involuntary twitching. Thanatos fell to his stubby,
illusionary knees.
The average onlooker would think that after the kind of pounding
that Thanatos had just taken, the Gengar would have fainted, or, at the
very least, shown intense difficulty in continuing to fight. But
Thanatos merely got up, shrugged off Hitmonchan's flurry of attacks,
and got ready to use Hypnosis. Gengar had a very high special defense
rating, and Hitmonchan had a very low special attack rating. In short,
Hitmonchan still had a long way to go to bring down Thanatos.
Thanatos, finally using Hypnosis, pulled out his phantasmal guitar
again and played, appropriately enough, Metallica's "Enter Sandman."
Kyle failed to see how such a song could put one to sleep, but sure
enough, Hitmonchan's eyes slammed shut. The boxing Pokémon collapsed
into a heap and started snoring loudly.
Kyle, wondering deep down if the ghostly guitar had magic powers,
shouted, "Thanatos, now use Dream Eater!" Thanatos went on to play the
Marilyn Manson version of "Sweet Dreams." Bruno watched with dread as
a large portion of his Hitmonchan's life was drained, evident by the
large green orb that slowly rose from Hitmonchan's body. Thanatos
pulled the glowing sphere into his own body and showed off a toothy
grin as his health was restored at Hitmonchan's expense. Hitmonchan
stayed asleep, and Bruno was forced to recall Hitmonchan.
Bruno then considered his remaining options. All he had left were
two Onix and a Machamp, and there was only one attack among those three
that had any hope of stopping a Gengar - Machamp's Fissure attack,
which was one of the most unreliable attacks in existence. Bruno had
originally planned to use Machamp as his third Pokémon, as it was his
strongest. But with the Gengar in play, Bruno decided that he would
spare his Machamp the agony of fighting a battle in which it had only
an infinitesimal chance of winning. "I...concede," Bruno announced,
deep down rather concerned that he would get demoted to first member of
the Elite Four if any other member found out that he had conceded in an
official match. With no fanfare, he unlocked the door to the next
trainer and motioned for Kyle to move on. Kyle recalled Thanatos and
advanced toward the lair of the third Elite Four member. Again, the
second he was within the next lair, the door closed and locked behind
him.
--BEST OF THE BEST--
Part 4
by Karnivax
The third arena was even more poorly lit than the second. The
room was inexplicably hot and blanketed in fog, and Kyle did not notice
the designated battlefield until he was standing in it. Kyle could
make out numerous headstones decorating the room, but it was foggy
enough that he could not read what was engraved on them. Shortly after
he found his position on one end of the rectangular battleground, Kyle
was just barely able to watch a rather diminuitive person take their
place at the other end. The scratchy voice of what could only have
been an elderly woman called out, "Who's there?"
"Kyle Richter, Pokémon trainer," Kyle responded. "Are you with
the Elite Four?"
Suddenly Kyle heard the shout of a Gengar. He heard a splash, and
then in the air above him a whirling purple mini-tornado appeared and
sucked up all of the fog. Kyle could now see the room much more
clearly, but there still was not much in the way of light.
"Pardon the fog," said the wrinkled old woman. "My silly ghost
Pokémon do love their jacuzzi..."
"Jacuzzi...?" Sure enough, Kyle saw in one corner of the room a
rather small hot tub. That explained the splash. Then a purple
Gengar - no doubt the whirling dervish that had removed the fog -
appeared, relaxing in the tub. Kyle sweatdropped. "What good is a hot
tub to a poltergeist?"
"Well, the hot tub was here when we moved in," the woman
responded. "Anyway...to answer your very first question, yes, I am the
third member of the Elite Four. Call me Agatha." Agatha picked up a
nearby wooden cane that had five Pokéballs tied to it. "As I'm sure
you've guessed, you will be allowed to use up to three Pokémon for this
fight. My first Pokémon will be...Golbat!" Agatha plucked a Pokéball
from her cane, tossed it straight up into the air, then swung her cane
like a baseball bat and knocked the Pokéball into the battlefield. The
spheroid opened, and out came a huge vampire bat with a mouth that was
about as large as its body.
"Gol BAT! Gol BAT!" the avian chanted as it flitted about a few
feet above the arena.
Kyle cycled through his six Pokéballs. "Hmmm...it's a safe bet
that Golbat is a flying Pokémon. And flying Pokémon can't handle ice!
Cloyster, go!" Kyle released the often cowardly Seaclamp, who by that
point had gone back to being male.
"Cloyssster, cloyssster," Seaclamp whimpered, in a more masculine
voice than before. He opened up his shell slightly and glanced at
Golbat.
"You've got a big advantage here, Seaclamp!" Kyle pointed
out. "Quick, use your Ice Beam!" Seaclamp opened his shell up
further, and decided to take Kyle's word for it. The long needle that
was loaded into the Spike Cannon just above Seaclamp's core started
glowing blue.
"Leech Life!" Agatha shouted, as Seaclamp was charging up.
Golbat dived at the nearly immobile Seaclamp and sunk his teeth into
Seaclamp's core. Feeling the energy getting sucked out of him,
Seaclamp slammed his shell shut, pinching Golbat.
"Gol BAAAAAT!!!" the bat painfully screeched, as it withdrew from
Seaclamp. Part of the spike from the Spike Cannon was still poking out
from Seaclamp's shell. Finally Seaclamp fired the Ice Beam at Golbat,
and the blue beam of energy struck Golbat right inside his wide-open
mouth. Golbat froze over and crashed to the center of the arena. The
ice shattered in the fall, and the chilly Golbat floundered as far away
from Seaclamp as he could get without leaving the boundaries of the
arena. Eventually Golbat resumed its low-altitude flight.
"Golbat, Confuse Ray!" ordered Agatha. From Golbat's cavernous
mouth came a glowing purple ray which effortlessly penetrated
Seaclamp's shell and hit his core. Seaclamp's shell slowly opened, and
the Cloyster's eyes were spinning around in his head. Seaclamp started
firing his Spike Cannon in random directions, and Golbat dodged the
explosive projectiles easily. Seaclamp's tirade ended when one of the
spikes blew up while still loaded into the cannon. Figuring Seaclamp
needed a little time to shake off the effects of the Confuse Ray, Kyle
recalled the Cloyster and summoned Ares the Machamp.
Agatha again called for Confuse Ray, and Golbat fired the purple
beam at Ares. But the Machamp was just a bit more mobile than
Seaclamp. He dodged it. "Golbat, Bite!" Agatha then commanded.
Golbat swooped down upon Ares and chomped hard on one of Ares's arms.
Ares frantically tried to shake the Golbat off, but the bat was so
firmly attached that Ares would have needed the Jaws of Life to
succeed. Finally Ares dislodged the persistent flyer with a mighty
Karate Chop right between the eyes.
"Ares, Seismic Toss!" Kyle shouted. Ares charged at the grounded
Golbat and wrapped his legs around the bat's giant head. Then he
backflipped and performed a Frankensteiner which slammed the top of
Golbat's head into the floor. The floor rumbled violently with the
impact. The attack was not much of a toss, but it certainly was
seismic.
"Goool..." the bat moaned. It pulled itself out of the floor.
"Ma champ!" Ares boomed, as he gave Golbat a Low Kick out of
spite. However, the attack did only minimal damage to the flying
Pokémon.
The next commands came from both trainers simultaneously. Agatha
called for Wing Attack, Kyle called for Karate Chop. And a few seconds
later, Golbat gave Ares a powerful slash with one wing at the same time
that Ares smashed his open hand down on top of Golbat's head. Ares,
who was already rather low on health, keeled over and passed out.
Golbat fell over backwards and made a pained screeching sound before
fainting.
"They knocked each other out!" Kyle noted, as he recalled Ares.
Agatha withdrew Golbat. "So they did," she sheepishly
admitted. "But no matter. My second Pokémon will be...Arbok!" Agatha
swung her cane and hit another Pokéball into the arena, and this time a
giant purple cobra materialized.
_What was it Torrasque said about poison Pokémon?_ Kyle thought,
trying to remember the conversation he had had in Lavender Town.
_That's it! They can't stand bug, ground, or psychic attacks.
Hmmm...Espio has a ground attack...but Lorelei's Lapras mopped the
floor with him. None of my Pokémon have bug attacks. And as for
psychic attacks..._
Kyle snapped his fingers. "Of course!" he said out
loud. "Gengar, I choose you!" He released the fearsome Thanatos, who
produced his phantom guitar from thin air and opened up the battle by
playing The Offspring's "The Kids Aren't Alright."
Agatha was looking stunned at the sight of the black Gengar.
"Thanatos..." she gasped. "Someone finally caught you..."
Thanatos stopped playing and took a good look at Agatha. Thanatos
did not recognize Agatha at first, but when he imagined what Agatha
might have looked like as a young woman, something clicked in his
gaseous brain. "Gen gar, gen gar gar!" he angrily babbled, pointing
at Agatha.
"Friend of yours, Thanatos?" Kyle inquired.
"Peh! You would not believe how many Pokéballs I wasted trying to
catch that slippery little monster," Agatha said to Kyle as she pointed
back at Thanatos. "Old town records in the Lavender Town archives show
that Thanatos was first discovered by humans almost two hundred years
ago. After he was discovered, he started terrorizing the humble
townsfolk on a monthly basis with his appetite for dreams...and when
Thanatos found out what a guitar was about fifty years ago, things just
got worse!
"Fifty years ago, I was about your age, child. I was an
accomplished Pokémon trainer as well." Agatha pulled a black-and-white
photograph out of her pocket and showed it to Kyle. The photo showed
Agatha at eighteen years of age...and she was not at all bad-
looking. "Even then, I had an affinity for ghost Pokémon. I thought
if I captured Thanatos, my team would be unstoppable! But no matter
what I did - and I tried *everything* - I simply could not ensnare that
miserable phantom in a Pokéball.
"After constant attempts to catch him over the course of two
years, I gave up and left my home town of Lavender to seek trainer
badges. But I checked the Lavender Town newspapers every once in a
while to check on Thanatos. I heard he was caught...and I'd love to
know how you caught him, child! You must be much more skilled than you
look."
Kyle sweatdropped. "Ummm...I didn't *catch* him, per se...I asked
him if he wanted to go with me, and he said yes."
Agatha's mouth went agape. She smacked herself in the
forehead. "I wasted all that time and money...when all I had to do was
ask nicely?!" A glare formed in her eyes. "Arbok, use your Acid
attack, now!!!"
"Chaaar bok!" the cobra hissed. He lunged at Thanatos and
expectorated a thick stream of of acidic venom at the surprised
Gengar. The attack was pretty much useless against Thanatos, as he was
a poison Pokémon too.
"Thanatos, use Psychic! That snake won't stand a ghost of a
chance!" Kyle ordered.
"Gen gar," Thanatos sniffed. He telekinetically whacked Kyle in
the face for the lousy pun.
"I deserve that," Kyle said shortly before collapsing to the floor.
Thanatos started playing "Long Way Down" again, then he took a
tight telekinetic hold over Arbok and lifted the purple reptile into
the air. Kyle saw a phantasmal sweat breaking out on Thanatos's face
as the ghost used his potent but vitality-draining telekinesis to tie
Arbok in knots. The tying continued until Arbok was little more than a
scaly ball of knots. Using a little less telekinetic force, Thanatos
bounced Arbok like a basketball several times, then he pushed his
psychic power to its limit and hurled Arbok clear out of the arena,
disqualifying him.
"Oh, blast it!" Agatha snarled, as she recalled Arbok. "But I
still have one Pokémon left! Gengar, go!"
The purple Gengar that sat in the jacuzzi quickly leapt from the
hot water and landed in the arena. Thanatos was taken aback. It had
never dawned on him before that in his travels with Kyle he might have
to battle one of his own kind.
"You've still got the advantage here, Thanatos!" Kyle
cheered. "Use Hypnosis!"
"Don't let him pull off a single move, Gengar!" Agatha
commanded. "Use your Lick attack, now!"
Faster than the mystical effects of Thanatos's rendition of "Enter
Sandman" could take their toll on Thanatos's opponent, a long
illusionary tongue unfurled from the mouth of Agatha's Gengar. The
Gengar whipped Thanatos with his tongue, and Thanatos was forced to
stop playing when the tongue hit him. He looked like he had just been
given an electric shock.
"He's paralyzed! Gengar, Night Shade!" Agatha commanded.
"Gen!" The purple ghost sent out a massive wave of energy which
reversed the colors of everything it touched in addition to doing
massive damage to Thanatos. The impact jolted Thanatos out of his
paralysis, but nearly knocked him out in the process.
"Now use Hypnosis!" Kyle shouted. Thanatos shook his head to
slightly alleviate the intense pain he was experiencing, then he pulled
out his guitar and played "Enter Sandman" at a greatly accelerated
rate. The enemy Gengar was about to counter with Lick again, but this
time Agatha's Gengar was not fast enough to strike before the Hypnosis
set in. The Gengar's eyes slowly closed as he softly collapsed to the
floor.
"You've got him now! Finish him off with Dream Eater!" came
Kyle's next command.
But Agatha beamed her sleeping Gengar back into its Pokéball
before the dreaded Dream Eater could even begin. "All right, all
right! I admit defeat, child!" Agatha said to Kyle. Kyle shrugged
and withdrew Thanatos.
"Thanatos is truly an extraordinary Pokémon," Agatha went on, "but
I'd advise you not to think *too* highly of him. There's still one
more member of the Elite Four ahead...and there are a number of reasons
he's the leader. One of them being the fact that he won't lose to some
silly spectre." Agatha unlocked and opened the door to the lair of the
final trainer in the Elite Four, and Kyle slowly headed through the
doorway. As soon as Kyle was fully inside the fourth chamber, the door
slammed shut behind him as usual, and he was locked in. As he went to
explore the final trainer chamber, Kyle swore he could hear Agatha
cackling.
To make up for the fact that I only had Bruno use two Pokémon, I'll
make it so Lance uses four. ^_-
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the
former." --Albert Einstein
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