From: Yosh <yosh1121@aol.combustible> Subject: Re: [PW!] First comes marriage... Date: Tuesday, September 21, 1999 2:13 PM ((NS: This might actually be good as a recap of the entire thread..... okay, not really.. nyaaa...)) "WHAT?!" Oz's exclaimed. "I said, that you will have to pay full price for this tuxedo." "Buh-but, it's a rental! That's just normal wear and tear, nothing drastic." "Young man," The snooty salesclerk prepared to explain, "all of these burn marks, and dirt and grass stains, not too mention that this once perfectly good suit is practically in tatters hardly classifies as 'wear and tear.' " "It isn't MY fault! It was a perfectly good wedding, teary eyed kiss and everything! It was all going perfectly, until ... until the reception..." "Mm-hmm," The man said skeptically. "And pray do tell, what happened then?" "Well, I'm not sure really ... first thing was when me and Sandshrew got attacked by some rabid, green Poliwag thing, but that wasn't too bad, until this Goth dude showed up with REALLY awful hair, I mean, I know I'm not one to comment, as I haven't gotten a haircut in ages, and my hair's probably almost as bad but his hair was all the way down past his shoulders! Don't they have rules or anything like that?" The salesclerk indulgently "Mm-hmmed" again. "I guess that's what they call Bison-men, or whatever, but anyway, that's besides the point. This Goth dude, I think he was a Rocket, right? And for some odd reason, he had wings! Yup, wings! I couldn't really believe it myself, I know Rockets aren't really known for extreme intelligence, but WHY in the world would you plaster wings to your backside? Leaves something to be said for subtlety, no? Well, he and the groom got into a sword fight or something, really cool, looks like you'd see it in Matrix or something, right, with all the melodrama and slow-MO bits. You saw that movie, right? Keanu Reeves, much butt kicking, and stuff blowing up and all that cool anime stuff? I tell ya, gotta love the anime, and bet ya didn't know the Mario or Venga Brothers, or whoever put all that together are planning not only one, but two sequels?" "Really, you don't say…" The salesclerk intoned. "Yeah, really! There's bound to be much more fighting and violence and all that cool stuff that everybody's so intent on censoring from us. Hey, have ya ever seen David Cross's stand up routine? He made a very good point, you know, about what video games or violent fighting movies corrupted Hitler? And the German army? Yeah, everybody's just placing blame on the media 'cuz they don't want to open their eyes and see just how screwed up they are, ya know? I don't seem like, warped or corrupted or anything to you, Jeeves, right? Right?" "Right...." The salesclerk said in an even more monotonous and enthusiastic style, if conceivably possible. "Exactly! Right, anyway, this Goth dude, right? He just about kills everybody, and if it weren't for me stepping in with my ferocious, and intimidating Pokémon, everything probably would have gone to heck in a Honda! There I was, mano a mano, fight to the death against the epitome of evil itself, right? Well, of course, I was winning, and eventually, I had him in my grasp! My gunblade was to his throat, and I was JUST about to slice off his head, but then the stupid Wiccan went and made the entire church burst into flames! I swear to you, it's true! So I was in the middle of HFIL itself, practically, right? While the Goth ninny ran away! And there was flames spouting off everywhere, and there was this whole busload of helpless chicks, and they were all like, 'Help, Turok! Help me!', so whatcha ya gonna do, ya know? So I took them all, and I got them out of that blazing inferno with my bare hands! Totally brave and selfless act, man! And they were all really, really glad, 'cuz, ya know, I saved their lives, and they wanted to reward me as best as they could for my truly valiant efforts so-" "Sir." The salesclerk finally interrupted, not being able to take any more of the Oz's ego-inflating ramblings. "Yeah?" Oz asked. "You're still paying the full price for the tuxedo." "Oh, come on! Have a little heart! I bet you don't really mean that. You don't, do you? Deep inside of that strict front of yours, lies a repented and generous Ebenezer Scrooge-" <scene shift> A few minutes later, Oz (Now flat broke) was thrown out of the tuxedo shop's door, and into the street. Oz stood up, dusted himself off, and limped back towards the Pokécenter for the Wigglytuff Launcher and his Pokémon, grumbling threats incoherently. TBC! ~ ~ ~ I somehow doubt Oz will ever be an action figure ^_^;; Yosh ---------- Note: Beware the rabid Yosh.