From: Jose L. Solano <jsolano199@aol.comlink> Subject: [PW!] The search for the missing Jedi Date: Wednesday, September 08, 1999 5:20 PM Trent walked down the street wearing a pink jacket, a Star Wars cap, shorts and sunglasses. Sandslash walked beside him, not exactly concentrated on were they were going, but paying more attention to another Sandslash across the street. "Oh all the jobs in the world, WHY THIS?!" yelled Trent. "Sand." "What?!" "SLASH?! Sand...SANDSLASH!!" "Can't it wait until the job's done?!" "...Slaaaaaaaaaaash?" "No, we'll get this done, then you can go...do your thing. Why are we doing this anyway?" "Slash." "Oh, right, the money. Well, it won't save me the humiliation." Trent stopped at a store called "Alien Dimension". He walked inside. "How ya doin today?!" screamed the fat clerk. "Uh yeah, what do you have in the way of Star Wars action figures?" "Ah, yes we have lots of that" the clerk said, trying to sound Arabian. "What's with the accent?" "Don't tell me you don't know!" "Don't know what?" The clerk threw his face into his hands and groaned in frustration. "How is it that you're looking to buy Star Wars figures, and you even have a Star Wars cap,yet you you don't recognize one of WATTO'S Lines?!" "Who's Watto?" The clerk slammed his head against the glass counter. "You know, Watto! Fat pudgy blue Toydarian!! He owns Anakin Skywalker!!" "That last one sounds familiar." "HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN THE PHANTOM MENACE?!" "What's that?" The clerk was as red as a tomato. He was ready to strangle Trent, then began to talk to himself. "Calm down! Calm down! Doctor says blood pressure is high as it is! Calm down...calm down..." FInally the clerk calmed down. "So you say you're looking for Star Wars Action Figures. Vintage, Power of the Force 2, or Episode 1?" "Uh...I'm looking for a ...uh... Luke Skywalker Jedi Knight...Uh...what was it again?" "Sandslash sandslashsand." "Yeah, what he said." "What DID he say?" "Theater Edition." "Alright, but your 'Pokeyman' will have to wait outside. We don't want them here." "Slash..." Sandslash reluctantly walked outside and sat down on the pavement. "So you want a Luke Skywalker Theater Edition?" "Yes and a...er... what was it again? It looked like a 3 eyed goat..." "Ree-Yees?" "No, it was something like Ricky..." "It's Ree-Yees." "No, I think it was Ricky." The clerk slammed his fist against the counter. "Damn it, it's Ree-Yees!!" "Fine, Luke Theater Edition, Ree-Yees and a Tatooine Showdown." The clerk walked over to the back room and came back out with a Ree-Yees and Theater Luke. He took a Tatooine Showdown from the glass case and placed all three on the counter. "Anything else?" "Yeah, a uh.... hold on." Trent ran outside to Sandslash. "Sandslash, what else did we need?" "Sandslash slash-slash-slash Sandslashslash Slash." "Ok, thanks." Trent walked back in. "Yeah, a vintage, mint-in-box Tatooine Skiff." "Ok then. I'll be right back, DON'T STEAL ANYTHING!" The clerk once again waddled to the back room. Taking advantage, Trent swiped a few Pokemon keychains and Boba Fett statue (don't ask where he hid that). The clerk came back with a vintage Skiff, mint-in-box. "Alright. Here's your Skiff. Anything else?" "No, that's it." "Let's see...your total is $768.57." "WHAT?!" "You heard me." "I'm not paying fuckin' $800 for that!" "Then you don't get anything." "Yes I do. I get something, you get something." "I see, you want your collectibles, I want my money, but since you are unwilling to pay, I have to ask exactly what ARE you giving me?" "This." Trent threw a black Pokeball on the floor. Chairzard emerged, roaring and spitting flames. "Oh not another one. I said no Pokey-AH!!" Before he could finish, Charizard had used his Fire Blast attack. The clerk was pinned against the wall, the fire burning his flesh. After a few minutes, Charizard stopped. The clerk's charred body fell against the counter, still smoking. "Dammit, Charizard, you burned all the stuff we needed!" "Char..." "Alright, but next time you screw up, you're finished. There's gotta be some more in that backroom." He went back to check. Sure enough, he found what he needed. He emptied out a box full of old Dungeons and Dragons books, and put the stuff inside. He sealed the box with duct tape, and marked it "Your collectibles." He then tied a rope around it. "Ok, Fearow, hold on to this. Make sure you deliver it to the right place." "Fear." "You DO remember where it is, right?" "Fearow." "Ok, then go!" Fearow pushed the box with his beak towards the door. Of course, he didn't know how to open doors so Sandslash let him out. Fearow jumped on the package, grabbed the rope and flew off. "What an idiot. The guy pays me $3,000 to find him something that would cost a third the price." "Slash." "DAMMIT SANDSLASH!! You scared the shit out of me!! How'd you get in here?!" "Sandslash slash, sandslash?" "Oh yeah. Charizard, return." "Chaaaaaarr...." "No, RETURN!!" Charizard was sucked back into his Pokeball. "Wait a second-" He released Charizard, Venusaur, Raticate, Lickitung, Gengar and Jolteon. "Ok, Gengar, go find a Mack truck. I don't care what's inside, just get rid of it before you drive it here. The rest of you, collect all this stuff and pack it up in some of those boxes in the back room. Make sure not to damage anything." "Char." "Venusaur." "Lickeeeee." "Raticate." "Gengah." "Jolten?" "Uh...oh yeah, that's right. Well, do whatever you can." Jose Luis Solano --------------------------------------- Offical Member of the AFSH Stupid Brigade --------------------------------------- DAMMIT