From: Roberto Perez-Vila <RobfromVoid@prodigy.net> Subject: [PW!] Can You Smell What the Brock Is Cookin'? Date: Friday, October 08, 1999 9:04 PM Brock, dressed in his usual orange shirt, green vest, and brown pants, sits cross-legged on a platform inside his Gym, enjoying a cup of his own special brew of tea. The tan skinned Gym Leader is trying to relax after having lost nine battles in a row. He glances over at a nearby pillar made of stone. It was once used to honor the people who earned a Boulder Badge by inscribing their name on it. This practice ended after Brock's 5,000th loss after the return from his Pokemon Journey with Ash Ketchum, when he took over for his father, Flint, "Whew, it's almost six." Brock takes a sip of his tea, "I can't wait to get home, kick off my shoes, and enjoy five straight hours of watching my por..." The doors to the Pewter City Gym slowly and mysteriously swing open... "My Por-ygon! Yeah, that's right, I can't wait to watch my Porygon do all its neat computer-y tricks!" Brock reaches behind his back and sweatdrops, hoping that the new visitor doesn't know that the he doesn't actually own a Porygon. A short, frustrated Slowpoke sluggishly works his way up to where Brock is sitting, speaking English the entire way there, "I challenge the Brock to a Pokemon Battle. I need a Boulder Badge to become a Pokemon Master." "A talking Slowpoke?!" Brock does a double take, "And I thought a talking Meowth was weird..." Luthor growls at Brock, not aware of his prestige, "All Pokemon 'talk', you foolish simpleton. You humans are just too ignorant or stupid to understand what Pokemon are saying, so you don't label it as 'talking.' I've heard stories of Pokemon affluent in over 100 Pokemon languages, whereas humans struggle with merely two. Pathetic." Brock stares with his jaw ajar, and after a long pause, remarks, "Kinda has the same attitude as Meowth, too. Anyway, why do you want to challenge me for a Boulder Badge, Slowpoke? You're a Pokemon!" "The name is *Luthor,* not SLOWPOKE." Luthor finally is standing directly in front of Brock, "If you make this mistake again, I will be forced to implode your brain using my incredible psychic powers." Luthor grins, to hide the fact that he's bluffing. It has taken him an hour to budge the Gym's doors, and to perform a brain implosion would be impossible for a mere Half-Psychic Pokemon who can't even Teleport unless he learns the move from a Technical Machine. Brock stands up, tossing his tea aside, "Are you threatening me? I don't take kindly to those who threaten me. I'll teach you some manners, 'Luthor.' We're going to have a fierce three on three Pokemon battle!" Brock pushes a nearby button, and a large rock covered arena starts to move towards the center of the room from both of the side walls of the Gym... Luthor just happens to be in the center of the room. He looks to his left, then slowly to his right, and after a moment of thought, decides that his predicament might end up being uncomfortable for him, "Poison Ivy, assist your master!" Luthor telekinetically pushes the button on one of the Pokeballs on his belt, and a buxom Bulbasaur appears, "Bulbasaur?" Poison Ivy quickly notices the problem. She extends two vines from her sides, which are weak since she's never used them before. When Bulbasaur learn Vine Whip and use the vines frequently to attack, they gain strength from usage, but Poison Ivy doesn't know that attack yet. She wraps one weak vine around Luthor and another around one of the larger rocks in the arena that is about to crush the two Pokemon if she doesn't act fast. Fortunately for Luthor, she does, pulling herself and Luthor onto the rocky arena, and out of harm's way. The two parts of the rocky arena join with a loud crash! Brock calls out from his side of the arena, "Tommy, get that Slowpoke out of the ring!" A young boy that looks much like Brock did when he traveled with Ash Ketchum runs into the arena, lifts Luthor like the infant that he is, and places him outside the arena, opposite where Brock is standing. Brock then shouts out, "Luthor, you have chosen Bulbasaur as your first Pokemon. Normally, I'd go easy on trainers and send out Geodude, but you were rude to me! Vulpix, go!" "Unhand me, you heathen..." Luthor realizes that he's behind the action, as usual. After a moment of reorientation with his surroundings, Luthor sees a disgustingly adorable red fox standing in front of his Bulbasaur, "Poison Ivy, intoxicate it!" Poison Ivy makes a facial contortion, before blasting a spray of acid rain from her poisonous dark green bulb! She then spits some Toxic fumes towards Brock's Vulpix. Once the Toxic gas clears, Vulpix looks slightly more pale. Brock laughs maniacally, like he usually does when he has a Pokemon match evil people and evil Pokemon, "Nice try, but my Vulpix isn't about to faint that easily. I'd normally use Ember on such a weak Bulbasaur, but in your case, I'm going to use Vulpix's strongest attack, taught to her by Susie of Scissor Street! Vulpix, Fire Spin attack!" Brock's Vulpix cutely squeaks out, "Vul!" It goes on to spit a gratuitous amount of intense flames from its tiny mouth, engulfing Poison Ivy in the spinning fire, which could be described as a pyromaniac's dream! What's worse is that the Fire doesn't quickly dissipate. It continues to scorch Poison Ivy thoroughly for a few rounds. When it clears, the once green Bulbasaur is pitch black. If she wasn't fainted, she'd be screaming since she holds beauty above all else. "Pix." "Poison Ivy, return." Luthor recalls his scorched Pokemon. He then pauses to decide between sending out Dr. Octopus and Clayface. While this decision would take place in a split second for normal people, it takes much longer for a Slowpoke. During this long pause in the action, Brock's Vulpix starts to feel the real pain from Poison Ivy's Toxic attack, intensified every single time a second passes by. Luthor telekinetically hurls a Pokeball into the ring, "Meet Dr. Octopus." The Tentacool appears on the rocky field. He presses one of his tentacles onto his forehead, and notices that it is no longer flattened, thanks to the treatment at the Pewter City Pokemon Center. Dr. Octopus then looks up at the sickly looking Vulpix in front of him, "<What the> cool <is wrong with it? Am I> Tentacool ta Cooltenta <it or something?>" Dr. Octopus leers back at Luthor, "<I don't know about you,> Tent <, but I'm not into that kind of> Cool." Luthor narrows his eyes at Dr. Octopus, "Know that you have been demoted from Lieutenant to a mere Paw Licker. Now perform your Acid attack on that creature, and perhaps I might consider giving you a higher rank in my army." "<Well, La Dee> TACOOL <Da, you> Tenta Cooltent <moron!>" Dr. Octopus raves, throwing his tentacles up high, "<Here's my> Tentacool <for you: Go eat a giant, hot, steaming,> Tent <ridden, disease-infested, pile of> COOL!" In the fit of anger, Dr. Octopus accidentally spits out Acid, which lands on Brock's Vulpix. Since the fox has been weakened so much by Toxic, the laughable attack from the Level 5 Tentacool actually causes the Vulpix to faint! Dr. Octopus feels a strange sensation, "<Hey, Luthor, I just> Tenta <a new attack, but I'm not> Tenta <you what it is! That way, you can't> Tenta <me to do it. Not that you can actually> Cool <me to do *anything*,> Tentacool." "Brainiac, analyze Dr. Octopus' new attack." Luthor instructs the Pokedex on his belt. The Pokedex which Luthor named Brainiac responds: "Tentacool's attacks, Number 2: Supersonic. Confuses opponent." Dr. Octopus sneers at the red contraption on Luthor's belt, "Tent <that> Cool <device!>" Brock finishes weeping over his Vulpix's defeat at the hands of a Tentacool and recalls it into his Pokeball, "I think I'll save the best for last. Not that my next Pokemon isn't wonderful, too. Zubat, come out!" Another Pokeball soars into the ring, this time releasing an annoyingly loud blue Zubat which flies circles around Dr. Octopus, screeches out, "Zuuuu!" "Supersonic!" Brock and Luthor call out at the same time. Brock covers his ears. Luthor does not. "CooOoOOOoOOooOOL!" "ZooOooOOOoOOOoOO!" "CooOOoOoOOooOOOoL!" "ZooOOoOoOoOoO!" These extremely loud noises leave both Brock's Zubat and Dr. Octopus confused. Dr. Octopus slaps himself with his tentacles. He spits Acid straight up into the air, and it lands on his head, forcing him to faint. Brock laughs when he sees the fainted Tentacool, "Ready to give up, Luthor?" "NO, I DO NOT WEAR MAKEUP!" Luthor shouts out, due to a temporary hearing loss from the Supersonic attacks. He recalls Dr. Octopus, "As if that Tentacool had a chance. Clayface is my best!" Luthor telekinetically hurls Clayface's Pokeball into the rocky arena. The large purple Grimer grins at the Zubat flying circles around him. "Clayface, Mimic!" "Grrimer! Grrrimer!" Clayface shifts shape, becoming a blue Zubat. He just happens to learn one particularly useless move- Haze. Clayface the Zubat spreads his wings, and a cleansing Haze splashes onto Brock's Zubat, dispelling the effects of Dr. Octopus' earlier Supersonic attack. This allows Brock's Zubat to smack Clayface with a powerful Wing Attack! Clayface, the Zubat, starts to melt. After one Leech Life from the real Zubat, the fake Zubat known as Clayface turns into a pile of purple mud on the arena's ground - a *fainted* pile of purple mud. Luthor has lost the match. Brock quickly dons a pink apron and raises one arm high, "Can you smell what the Brock is cookin'?!" Luthor sniffs the air around him, while recalling Clayface, "Yes. I do. It smells like burning." "Huh?" Brock is surprised that someone actually answered his question, "Oh no! That's right... I left those riceballs in the oven!" He scurries away towards the special little kitchen he had built in the Pewter City Gym upon his return. Luthor starts his journey towards the exit, "I may have lost this battle, but mark my words, I shall return. That human healer in that 'Pokemon Center' spoke of eight badges. This is merely one of these, probably the most difficult to obtain." Luthor isn't aware of how naive he truly is, as he heads out of the Pewter City Gym badge-less yet full of ambition. -Luthor