From: Tech Weaver
Subject: [PW][NC?] It's Time to Get Extreme!
Date: Wednesday, October 13, 1999 5:11 PM
"CLEFAIRRRRYYYYY!!!" cried the Clefairy as the Zubat carrying
it swerved around the corner, just barely dodging a Pokéball and
flying down another of Mt. Moon's many tunnels. Adam "Smasher" scooped
up the discarded ball as he and Shuriken the Staryu zoomed after them on
skateboards. Smasher wasn't about to fail his first catch-battle, no
matter where the Clefairy went or how many Pokémon were trying to help
"Shuriken! Spinning tackle attack now!" commanded Smasher.
The Staryu hopped off the cave floor, affixed its board to its back, and
flew at the two Pokémon. Shuriken spun into the Zubat, causing it to
drop the Clefairy, which darted into another tunnel. Smasher skidded to
a stop and flung a Pokéball at the Zubat. It snapped shut. The Zubat
tried to free itself from the ball, but to no avail. Smasher coasted
over on his skateboard to retrieve his new Zubat. "Good job, Shuriken.
Twenty-thousand extreme points! Now, where did that Clefairy go?"
Smasher looked down the tunnel to see the Clefairy waddling
away. Clefairie weren't known for their speed, but Smasher wasn't
taking any chances. He called Shuriken to his side and they sped down
the passage way. They just about upon it when the Clefairy leapt
forward and disappeared into the ground. Its pursuers soon found
themselves sailing over a large pit.
Smasher watched as the Clefairy plummted into the darkness.
"Whoa! Dude! That's one majorly big hole!" He looked back up to see
the end of the tunnel rapidly approaching. Manuevering their boards,
Smasher and Shuriken skated up the cave wall, and across the ceiling.
Unfortunately, gravity kicked in and Pokémon and Trainer soon found
themselves following the ill-fated Clefairy.
Smasher had only seconds to react. "Shuriken!
Teleportation, now!" he commanded. The Staryu latched onto its master
and teleported them both to the bottom of the pit. Smasher looked
around and caught a glimpse of the Clefairy giggle as it escaped into a
tunnel above them before his skateboard landed on his head. "OW!
Y'know, teleporting us somewhere outside this pit would've been nice."
Shuriken sat down on a rock, tired. It made some movement
that immitated a human sighing.
Smasher sat down on his board. "OK, you get some rest,"
he said. "I'll figure out how to get us out of here." Smasher knew
that the psychic move Teleport didn't work very well in caves. Glancing
down at his feet, he noticed a whistle attached to a silver cord. Its
multicolored surface glistened in the light of the flashlight Smasher
duct-taped to his Marowak-skull helmet. He picked it up and examined
it. The whistle seemed to be made of five different stones, each of a
different color: black, yellow, red, green and blue.
Then he noticed something was logded into one end of
the whistle. Curious, Smasher blew into the other end of the whistle to
try and get it out. The object popped out, and the whistle's screech
echoed throughout the cavern. Pleased with himself, Smasher wore put
the silver cord around his neck and wore it.
Suddenly, the cavern started to rumble and shake.
A few feet away, the ground cracked and split. Smasher and Shuriken
stood up and watched as an immense, black Onix burst from the gound and
bellowed, "EE-WARRRRR!!" Then they just stared at each other for a
"Extreme!" exclaimed Smasher under his breath.
He had heard about how these gigantic rock snake's scales hardened as
they grew older, becoming hard as diamond but black in color. This was
the most extreme Pokémon he had ever seen. He had to catch it.
"Zubat! It's time to get extreme!" called
Smasher as he flung a Pokéball at a nearby cave wall. Zubat popped
out in a flash of light, ready to defend its new master. "Zubat! Go
Heeding its master's instructions, Zubat let
loose with a barrage of supersonic sound waves. The black Onix bellowed
as a high-pitched screech bounced around the inside of its skull. It
was getting hard to focus. Onix couldn't tell where its enemies were.
It slammed into a cave wall, sending a shower of rocks everywhere.
Zubat had done its job. "Zubat, return!"
Smasher commanded and Zubat disappeared into its ball in a flash of red
light. Now with the Onix confused, Smasher decided to let loose with
his patented move. "Shuriken, Gaurdrail Smash!" he commanded.
The Staryu leapt back onto its skateboard and skated at the
Onix at top speed. Shuriken zoomed up the cave wall and leapt off,
smashing the Onix over the head with the skateboard. The Onix bellowed
again and dove into the ground. The whole cavern started shaking and
huge rocks began to fall around our heroes. Shuriken returned to its
master's side and the ground at their feet began to crack and split.
... A Clefairy popped out of the ground! Before they
could react, the Clefairy grabbed Smasher and Shuriken by the leg and
pulled them underground, narrowly avoiding a huge boulder.
At the caves entrance, the three of them popped out the
ground. Smasher dropped to his hands and knees, breathing in great
heaves. Who wouldn't after being dragged under ground for almost a
"That was..." Smasher choked out. "...So extreme!"
"Clefairy!" stated the Clefairy and it began to walk
back into the cave. Smasher didn't want to let a day's work slip away
from him, but he didn't have the heart to attack the Clefairy. Not
after being rescued by it. He hopped onto his skateboard and coasted
over to the Clefairy.
"Dude! That was, like, eighteen-decabillion on the
extreme scale!" said Smasher. The Clefairy just made a sidelong glance
at Smasher and continued on its way. Smasher continued to follow. "Uh,
listen. I'm sorry about attacking and all that junk. And I'm pretty
sure that Zubat was a good friend of yours." The Clefairy stopped and
looked at Smasher. "Look what I'm saying is..." Smasher felt pretty
silly kissing up to a Clefairy. "...I'd like you to join my team."
The Clefairy raised an eyebrow. "Cle?"
"Yeah," answered Smasher. "I mean, your friend is on
my team. And if you tag along, you'll be able to meet lots of new
friends of all shapes and sizes from many strange and exotic places!"
"Clefairy?" pondered the Clefairy.
"That's gotta be a lot better than hanging around some
stuffy old cave," continued Smasher. "And, who knows. Maybe you'll
even get a tan!"
"Clefairy!" accepted the Clefairy.
"All right!" laughed Smasher as he lifted up the
Clefairy. "Now all we need is a name..." Smasher thought for a moment.
There weren't any cool names he could think of that would fit a
Clefairy. Then he remembered how the Clefairy leapt into a pit to get
away from him. "I know! I'll call you... Cliff Diver!"
"Clef!" approved Cliff Diver.
"And I can call you Cliff for short!" laughed
Smasher as he tucked Cliff under his arm. "Cliff. Shuriken. Let's get
rolling!" he said as they began to skate off into the forest.
Suddenly, a Pidgey zoomed by in front of them, followed by a girl who
crashed right into them, knocking them over.
"Excuse me," she simply said, and she got up and
skated after the Pidgey on a pair of rollerblades.
"Whoa," exclaimed Smasher as he sat back up.
"Who was that girl?"
(Author's Note: In Japan, I believe, Onix is known as Iwar. I'm pretty
sure that is the name they bellow in the American cartoon, as well as in
the situation above)
Chet "Tech" Weaver
Number one rule of commercial children's programming: "When in doubt,
add 'Extreme' to the title."
A copy of Adam "Smasher" Samson's WG can be found at: