From: Shimarisu <rachel.r@scotland.com> Subject: [PW!] Nisemon revisits the Lighthouse Date: Thursday, October 28, 1999 12:13 PM Nisemon revisits the Lighthouse -------------------------------------------- Bill had been suspicious of the Pikachu ever since Misty had brought it in. There was just something… very odd about it. How it had gone to the Water Gym, and cast 5 high powered electric attacks on five successive Pokemon, then failed to attack the final time - only to be knocked out by a Psyduck. How very strange. And then there were the incidents. The bombing of the Poke Ball, and the resultant flood of Team Rocket agents to the town. All this had happened after that confused Ditto had fount its way to Bills lighthouse, all those nights ago... Well, there was nothing else for it. The Pikachu was just waking up, having almost fully recovered from its ordeal. Bill reached into his pocket, pulled out a Pokedex and pointed it at the stirring Pokemon. "Dit...to. A s-sh-ape-shif-ting...Po-ke....mon. Thiiis. Po-kemon....hass...the. Ability. To. Change....itsform-to....that. Of. Other. Po....ke.....mo....*" *Whap.* The Pokedex abruptly cut off its speech as Bill hit it to make it talk properly. It spluttered back into life, speaking more clearly this time. "Ditto. A shape shifting Pokemon..." "Yes I know that," countered Bill, and switched it off. "So," said Bill, looking up at the Pikachu laid out on the couch in front of him. "I think you've got some explaining to do. "Piiika piiika chuuuu." "Indeed. Misty fished you out of the pool at the Water Gym. She thought it best that she brought you here, as she figured that your trainer - who I assume is non-existent - wasn't looking after you right. Maybe she thought I should send you back to the wild, somewhere in Viridian Forest perhaps? But I find you're not a Pikachu after all." He waved the Pokedex in the Pikachu's face meaningfully. "Pi-pikachu!" Nisemon the Pikachu spat indignantly. "I think we've had enough of the Pikachu speech, don't you? Turn into... Oh, I don't know. Something that can talk." "Sure," thought Nisemon, and obligingly morphed into Jessie of Team Rocket, only in this case the unclothed version that you never see on TV. "NOT LIKE THAT!" gasped Bill, as he staggered back and slapped his hands over his eyes in a stereotyped anime nerd fashion. Trying desperately to resist the urge to take a peek, he moved one hand down to his nose to wipe away the stereotype blood that had collected there. Nisemon promptly morphed into the famous talking Meowth we all know and love. "I thought you were gay," said Meowth. "What the hell do you mean?" spluttered Bill. "Well look at you. Just look. You are wearing a *smoking jacket*. You have an - albeit rather bad - English accent. You're unattached. And you have green hair. Green hair!" "What? What about my green hair?" Nise-Meowth paused. "Is it green that supposed to represent that? It's not, is it?. It's purple. Silly me, my mistake. OH MY GOD! I never knew that James of Team Rocket was..." "Never mind. Just...just forget it. Speaking of Team Rocket, did you know they were looking for you?" asked Bill. "Sure they are. I'm infamous." Nise-Meowth grinned, and sat up on the couch. "I better cover my tracks, huh?" "You didn't actually *know * that Team Rocket were looking for you, did you?" "Well, I uh.... I... you see....no." admitted Nisemon. "I just figured they were. I am Public Enemy Number One, you see." "Yes. I see." Bill pulled out a notebook from his jacket, and scribbled something in it. "The thing is, you've not been covering your tracks at all, have you? You've been all over the place. One thing you did was burst in here and announce your presence to me. Then you went all the way to the Water Gym, and tried to get a Cascade Badge. People who are hiding from an organised crime group don't generally make themselves well known at the hub of society. That's what the gym system is, you see. Everything revolves around it." "Ah, but I was Pikachu." Nisemon countered. "I was *the * Pikachu you know. I'm Pikachu, so I went to the Gym. They'll all blame him, that Pikachu." "What Pikachu?" "I dunno. I haven't the faintest idea what I'm talking about." "And that's the whole point of it, isn't it?" Bill put in. "You don't know what you're doing, or why you're here, or what you're talking about, do you? I don't even think you have a name, you certainly can't decide on which personality you're using at any given time." "I do have a name!" Nisemon shouted. "I'm not sure where I got it, but you see, you have to have a name - don't you? Those are the rules. And it's a bit difficult referring to a non-gender specific organism that doesn't have a name. Dropping all the he's and shes is bad enough, but I have to have a name so people can write about me, so I suppose they either use 'Nisemon' or 'the Ditto'" protested the Ditto. "Write about you?" Bill was flummoxed. "Yes, like um, when I'm famous I suppose. Of course, I'm famous already." "I see. Look, you're avoiding the issue here. The fact is, Team Rocket are after you. They went to Mount Moon looking for some kind of impostor, and details got leaked. Don't ask me how I found out, but let's just say I have friends in high places." "I know," said Nisemon. "That irritating guy who lives at Mount Moon, the one who can't stop talking in rhymes. What a prat." "Never mind that." Bill waved his hand as if dismissing the Ditto's words. "The point is, what do you *want *? You came here before asking for a purpose, have you thought about what it is yet?" "YES!" Nisemon jumped off the couch straight onto an adjacent filing cabinet so that he was face to face with the bewildered scientist. "That's it! I thought of it! I went to the Water Gym see, only I was Pikachu. And I failed at being a Pikachu, I failed to get the Cascade badge! That must mean that Pikachu… no that Ditto is a REALLY useless Pokemon! I don't want to be a Pikachu anymore… no, I mean, I don't want to be a Ditto anymore! I DON'T WANT TO BE A POKEMON ANY MORE! Do you see?" "Yes, er I...I think I do," stammered Bill, regaining the three or so steps that he'd jumped back after this most recent outburst. "You don't want to be a Pokemon anymore?" "No!" "Well, then, what do you want to be?" "I want to be..." Nisemon paused for a moment, "I want to be... a HUMAN!" "I see. And suppose, just suppose that I could make you into one. Suppose I had the equipment here to do that, would that make you happy?" "You have the equipment? Like equipment for turning kids into Pikachu?" "Shut up about that bloody Pikachu!" raged Bill, unconvincingly using a British swearword. "I told you to drop that subject the last time!" "Will you turn me into a human?" persisted Nisemon. "I don't know. You see, well... I have the *ability*, but it might take me a while to come up with the goods, so to speak. And you have to really convince me that you want to be a human. Like, spend the next year or so living as a human, and tell me how it goes." "I have to spend a year as a human? That's easy. I've already done that." "The same human." Bill told the Ditto. "The same...? What?" Nisemon gasped. The Ditto was starting to lose faith in this plan... "Yes. You choose a form, and stay in it. And while we're on the subject, what type of human do you want to be?" "Type of human?" "Yes. Well there's two, isn't there? Male or female. Which do you want to be?" Nise-Meowth promptly fell off the filing cabinet, right onto his face. Nisemon pulled the Meowth's body off the floor, and looked up at Bill. The Pokemon's face was contorted in what appeared to be agonising indecision. "I DON'T KNOW!" raged Nisemon. "You've got me all confused! I don't know whether I want to be male or female!" "You didn't know? Then why did you ask me in the first place? Didn't you think about this at all?" "No! I never think about anything before I... oh, wait. I'm bored now," decided Nisemon. "What? Now don't take that line with me again! You said that last time! Hey, wait!" "I'm bored of you now!" shouted nise-Meowth over his shoulder, as the Ditto beat a speedy retreat out of the door. "I'm bored of playing games with your minds, pointless humans! Just you watch! Nisemon will take over the world!" yelled the Ditto, right before running off the pier and straight into the ocean. And the current bore the crazy Pokemon swiftly away. It was up to destiny to take Nisemon off to a new, all-too-unsuspecting populace... - TBC? - Shimarisu Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.