Subject: [PW!] Picking Up the Pieces
Date: Friday, October 15, 1999 4:02 PM
In an attempt to clean up as many of my rules violations as I can, I
wrote this story, which is actually one of my shortest! This story
1. Explains away Panopticon's high-tech weaponry (which has been around
since BEFORE the "Weapons Rule," might I add...)!
2. Takes away all of Proteus's superfluous powers! (And as an added
bonus, makes him one of THE most pathetic Ditto in the Wars! ^_^)
3. Assures that Protopticon AIN'T comin' back! (Sorry, Repticus...
4. And gets Mewtwo right back to where he started...as if nothing ever
This story has also been given Dreadite's seal of approval. As he put
it: "Good save. ^^;"
--PICKING UP THE PIECES--
Panopticon slogged ever so slowly down the crude underground tunnel
leading to Vorge's hidden inner sanctum. The saurian snarled to
himself as he thought about how long the trip was going to take. There
were several subterranean tunnels leading to Vorge's base, and the
average length of such a tunnel was roughly ninety miles. With his
rocket-powered rollerblades, Panopticon could have made it to the end
of the tunnel in about an hour and a half. But with the rockets having
been obliterated by Espio the Charizard, Panopticon was in for one long
walk back to headquarters.
The fact that Proteus the Ditto was sitting on Panopticon's back
and happily singing in his native tongue did not help Panopticon's
mood. In a way Panopticon was happy that Proteus's precious nanite
ruby, the source of both his psychic powers and his intelligence, had
burned out forever; it meant that Panopticon would be bossing Proteus
around from now on. But Panopticon saw two downsides to the loss of
the ruby as well. The first downside was that if Proteus and
Panopticon were ever able to fuse into Protopticon again, Protopticon
would be without its vaunted powers. The second downside was that
without his ruby, Proteus was dumber than mud.
The off-tune screeching that was Proteus's singing started to
grate at Panopticon's tympana. Already Panopticon missed his plasma
cannon and his eyelaser, both of which had been destroyed beyond repair
by Torrasque. Panopticon stopped walking briefly and turned to look at
Proteus. "Proteusss...be a good little ssshapessshifter and
Transssform into that rock over there," the dinosaur snarled. He
pointed at a humble stone that sat on the tunnel floor.
Proteus looked at the stone, and Panopticon almost swore he could
see a flashing question mark form over Proteus's head...probably as a
result of the fact that the computerized half of Panopticon's brain had
taken considerable damage and was starting to induce
hallucinations. "Dit to dit?" Proteus wondered.
"The rock. Transssform into the rock, you idiot," Panopticon
And an ephemeral light bulb seemed to appear above
Proteus. "Dit!" he happily proclaimed, not realizing he had just been
insulted. He started glowing, as well as growing. He took on the
shape of a buzz-cut, tan-skinned, muscular man. Shorts, boots,
sunglasses, and a Hawaiian shirt became his clothing. As he got off of
Panopticon's back, Proteus raised one eyebrow in a glance that showed
sheer arrogance. He leaned his head back and put one hand near his
mouth as if he were shouting into an imaginary microphone, then yelled
out in a deep, cocky voice, "DIT TOOOOO!!!" After that, he quickly
changed back into his normal Ditto form and got back on top of
Panopticon's heavily armored dorsal command module. Proteus looked
quite proud of himself.
The reference was lost on Panopticon, unfortunately. "You can not
even turn into a rock correctly...posssitively pathetic," he
snorted. "Let usss try sssomething organic, then. Can you turn into
Again Proteus looked perplexed. "Dit to, dit dit," he pointed out.
Nonetheless, he got off of Panopticon's back again, then started
glowing. Panopticon watched as Proteus's gelatinous body shifted and
warped for nearly half a minute without forming anything even close to
the cyber-saur. After a minute of unsuccessful attempts to duplicate
Panopticon's complicated form, Proteus gave up. Viscous tears streamed
from his beady little eyes.
"You are the sssingle mossst ussselessss Pokémon I have ever
ssseen!" Panopticon roared. "Are you not able to turn into *anything*
Suddenly Proteus's face brightened, as if he were somehow happy to
hear Panopticon's question. Proteus started glowing once again, and
this time he formed a shape that could have been a useful one, in
theory. Proteus turned into a Nidoking...the only Pokémon that he
knew. "Dido!" Proteus growled. He stomped around briefly and tried
to look as threatening as a five foot-tall lizard could look in front
of a seven foot-long velociraptor. "DIDO!"
Panopticon slapped himself in the forehead. "No, you
imbecile...you mean 'nido,' not 'dido.'"
Proteus looked inordinately surprised by this. "Dido?"
Panopticon let out a pained sigh and continued walking. _What I
would not give to have my plasssma cannon back,_ he thought, in an
inexplicably sibilant mental voice.
Meanwhile, back in the forest clearing that had held host to the
battle with Vorge, reparations were being made. The survivors of
Doppler's team were carting away the dead in plain view, while the
survivors of the Pokémon Resistance strike force were off partying a
few hundred feet away. Kyle was sitting on a moss-covered rock nearby,
holding Torrasque's temporary coffin (a Pokéball) in his hand and
mourning the loss of the Pokémon that had been his best friend for six
years. Cathode the Pikachu was sitting on Kyle's right shoulder and
wailing piteously. In stark contrast, Thanatos was off providing the
music for the Pokémon Resistance's celebration. Death did not spoil
the black Gengar's mood in the least.
Even the most elusive of the combatants was still present on the
battlefield. Having finished his games with Slasher the Persian and
Repticus, Mewtwo had returned to the battlefield to keep an eye on his
main enemies for as long as he could. Like Kyle, Mewtwo was sitting on
a nearby rock, but the feline's pose gave him an appearance strongly
reminiscent of Rodin's "Thinker." Jessica and Espio cautiously
approached the vaguely seven foot-tall cat in hopes of getting some
answers. Mewtwo did not seem to be paying much attention.
--PICKING UP THE PIECES--
"Hope we didn't catch you in the middle of anything important,
Garfield," Espio irritably greeted Mewtwo. Jessica and Espio had
agreed on a sort of "good cop, bad cop" approach, with Espio as the bad
Unfortunately, having Espio say the first words proved not to be
the best arrangement. Mewtwo snapped his fingers, and an invisible
wall of telekinetic force smashed into Espio, knocking the talking
Charizard head over talons. Espio landed quite close to where Kyle was
sitting. "For your sake, I hope *your* greeting will be more
acceptable," Mewtwo snorted at Jessica.
"All I ask for is to have a few questions answered," Jessica
There was a very uncomfortable silence for several seconds after
that, but Jessica was able to mentally heave a sigh of relief when
Mewtwo replied, "I suppose your friend's attempt to aid me counts for
*something*...speak quickly, human."
"Well...I'll be blunt," Jessica nervously went on. "If you're
really the toughest, most invincible Pokémon in the world, like
everyone says...and you were an enemy of Vorge...how could you let this
happen?" Jessica pointed at the battlefield, which was littered with
impact craters and corpses of human and Pokémon alike.
Mewtwo raised one eyebrow. He did not know whether to be deeply
insulted or extremely amused by the inquiry. Mewtwo's powers were so
finely tuned that he could have easily scattered Jessica into a million
pieces - no more, no less - right then and there.
He did nothing of the sort, however. Jessica's second mental sigh
of relief was even bigger than the first. An ever so slight grin
appeared on Mewtwo's face. "You speak as if the lives that were lost
here were of any concern to me," Mewtwo scoffed. "I was toying with
Vorge, human. There were certain combatants present at the fight whom
I would prefer went on believing that I am not as strong as the stories
say." Mewtwo subtly glared at Doppler, then Phoo. "Those who try to
battle me out of complete underestimation of my power...those who enter
combat with me thinking that I have a weakness for them to
exploit...prove much easier, and even more entertaining, to dispose
of. Even Pokémon such as I need to entertain themselves *somehow*.
"Vorge posed no threat to me whatsoever. Had I been fighting Vorge
alone, I would have vaporized him with a single glance...like so."
Mewtwo stood up, and the rock he had been sitting on floated up into
the air. In the blink of an eye, the rock simply
disintegrated. "Vorge's attacks certainly *looked* like they were
hurting me, did they not? But all throughout the battle, I had a
protective Barrier up that no one, not even Vorge, saw. Not a single
one of his attacks even came close to penetrating the Barrier...observe
my lack of bodily injuries. My use of Recover during the battle was
simply for effect; I did not once need it."
"If you had a Barrier up the whole time, how did he cut through
that cord on the back of your head?" Jessica queried.
"That was a very nice subterfuge, was it not?" Mewtwo laughed.
He ripped the duct tape off of the organic cord, and showed that the
cord had completely healed in less than five minutes. "The fact is,
this 'cord,' as far as even I know, serves no discernible purpose. But
I allowed Vorge, as well as everyone else present, to think it was of
utmost importance...mainly because it does indeed *appear* important.
I disabled the Barrier momentarily and let Vorge sever the cord. And
in the future, those who fight me thinking that cutting that cord will
render me powerless...are in for a rude awakening indeed.
"Vorge's so-called 'ultimate weapon,' the psionic dampening field,
was more of a detriment to Vorge than to myself. It negated all of
Vorge's powers, but only an infinitesimal fraction of mine. Even when
Vorge used the field on me once before - back when he sent his black
Ditto ally to battle me - the field had only a marginal effect. I knew
the Ditto was an agent of a greater power; I suspected Doppler at
first. But quickly I started to sense that that was not necessarily
true. So I let the Ditto 'clobber' me while the dampening field was
up, thus letting his master - who was no doubt watching - think that he
stood a chance against me as long as he had the dampening field
active. I did so in an attempt to lure the true master out of hiding,
in the event that Doppler was not the one who sought to capture me.
"I put on quite a show for that Ditto...I believe Proteus was his
name. I faked fainting under his attack, and I even used a little
hypnotic suggestion to make it appear to him that I was (snicker)
bleeding. The weakling did not damage me even once. And both
Proteus's and Vorge's telepathic abilities, which could have
potentially revealed my deception, were positively pathetic. I have
heard of Abra with better telepathy.
"Now, once word spreads of this battle, human after human will try
to build psionic dampening machines, thinking it will drain me of my
powers. But I worry not. Even the most powerful of psionic dampening
armor - which I grudgingly wore during my time as a Team Rocket
operative - failed to bring my powers anywhere near human control. No
mere machine can challenge psionic might.
"Vorge started out as a machine, as I understand. The humans who
built Vorge did an admittedly impressive job...I would estimate that
the strength of the psychic powers in Vorge's Nidoking body was very
close to that of a Pokémon I once defeated, a level eighty Alakazam. I
believe that Vorge's Nidoking form had better physical strength than
that of any Alakazam, however."
"You mean...you let all those people and Pokémon die...you let
Vorge and everyone else think that you were getting the crap beaten out
of you...just to deceive a *few* people?!" Jessica cried.
"Precisely," Mewtwo said matter-of-factly. "Consider yourself
lucky...you are one of the few humans to learn any secrets of mine.
They will not do you much good, however. If you so much as *think*
about telling anyone else, I will know...and you will be obliterated
before the words can even escape your mouth." Mewtwo, ready to return
to his home near Cerulean, started to float up into the air. "Ah...I
feel better having gotten all that, as the humans say, 'off my chest.'
In a way I feel...cleansed."
"I don't get you at all," Jessica commented.
"No one does...do not let it concern you." With that, Mewtwo flew
away like a glowing purple comet, breaking the sound barrier in the
Never underestimate omni-cats who are, to quote Dreadite, "intelligent
beyond reasoning." ^_^
--K * A * R * N * I * V * A * X--
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and
human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the
former." --Albert Einstein
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