From: Chuck Einhorn <unicorns@mmtcnet.com> Subject: [PW!] Pokeman and Joy in Heck Date: Monday, October 11, 1999 7:32 PM (Sorry this is so late, Agent, but I've been fresh outta ideas lately, I think I have something now, though.) "Ack, sorry human, every so often Goddish pulls a prank and puts me in this stupid devil outfit, some sorta joke a guy called Scott Adams suggested to him!" Phil waved his hands about, and the devil pajamas evaporated into the usual intimidating black leather. "Now, what is this about Badges you want?" "I, um, want to learn about the Pokémon League Badges so I can...." "Suck royally, I'm sure! Now...." Phil points his Humédex at Pokeman and reads his shtuff. "What is this? How could you, you vile human? How can you do such a thing without remorse?" "What? What did I do?" "You threw belly button lint down on the ground in Viridian Forest! That's littering, my good bad man!" Phil starts to jump around on one foot to the other, doing a fancy Kefka jig. "It's disgusting and unsanitary! For the minor sin of the improper disposal of belly button lint, I DARN YOU TO HECK!" With that, Pokeman evaporates in a cloud of smoke. <We now join Nurse Joy of Pewter in Heck> "Wake up, Miss." A deep Russian accent. "You need to get out." Joy groggily raises her head. She is sitting at a table in the middle of a circular room. A large man wearing a fuzzy Russian hat is standing in front of her holding a piece of paper and a fluffy feather. "Wha....were am I? Who are you?" "I am Ethan, the Crazy Russian. Misty has met my colleague, Peter the Puny Prozacked Pakistani. You are to be punished by being tickled to maniacal laughter by me, with this feather!" "What? That is sick! You can't do that!" "Sure I can, but I can't if you sign this paper." Ethan drops the paper on the desk. "Phil is reasonable. If you sign that within 15 minutes, you may not be punished." "Oh, great.....were can I get a pen?" "There is one in the corner of the room!" Joy goes to the corner of the room....to find there isn't one, it's a round room. Joy, in a blonde-like frenzy, spends the next 14 minutes and 59 seconds circling around the room. As the alarm goes off sounding 15 minutes, Ethan grows red. "Oops, my mistake, it was in my shirt pocket. Heeeerrrreeeee'sss the feather!" "No, no naaahh..ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" <Elsewhere in Heck> Pokeman finds himself in a huge, open forest, no under shrub, just large trees. It is hot, extremely hot, as the sun beats down. He leans against the closest tree, reveling in the shade. And all the leaves fall off, landing on his head. "Oh, I'm sorry man." A vacant looking guy with a beard, long hair, a tie-dye shirt, and jeans walks up to Pokeman. I'm Bill, the Insane Hippie. I think the Mary Jane fumes comin off my stash is having some effect on the trees, man, but it might be spare belly button lint." "Belly button lint can kill trees?" "You'd be suprised, man......" Bill walks off, and a branch falls on Pokeman's head. "Stop it!" Another branch falls on his toe. "Ow!" For the next ten minutes, Pokeman runs about, dodging leaves, nuts, branches, and the occasional dying squirrel, choking on bellybutton lint. "No! I'll never litter again, I swear, I'll never!!!" pokeman opens his eyes to reveal he is back in the Pokécenter, with Nurse Joy collapsed on the desk, panting and laughing when she has the breath. Phil sits on a nearby couch, a bubbly busty blonde babe by either side. "So, how did you like Heck?" TBC? any comments, Agent? Ethan Einhorn