From: MTSowbug <mtsowbug@a.happy.place> Subject: [PW!] Teatime with Mewtwo Date: Sunday, October 24, 1999 4:22 PM Recently (or not so recently ^_^) on the PokeWars! a war was waged amoungst Vorge, Doppler, Mewtwo, Kyle Richter, a giant cult, and a bunch of other parties. The war soon ended with intervention from antiomnipotent powers on high (Dreadite!), and civility commenced. A cult was turned to undead, and Vorge was destroyed. Torassque was killed, and Phoo has regained all his pokemon, along with a sect of Weepinbell who have brought him Porygon back. Adminst the cooling down and quite possibly peace treaties, Phoo has spotted Mewtwo amoungst the hullabaloo. And now for the show! Phoo gazed in wonder upon the almighty cat known as Mewtwo. Phoo had been sent to the world to reason with Mewtwo... or was that what he wasn't supposed to do? In the affairs of living on Earth, Phoo had found his mission to not be as clear as he once thought. It seemed nothing was truly good or evil, just a thousand shades of gray. "Hmm..." Phoo thought, "Mewtwo doesn't seem as quite the antagonist as I once supposed... then again, maybe not. So many deeds of cruelty and so little of good..." just then, Phoo noticed Mewtwo, after talking to a human over on the other end of the battlefield, start to fly off as he broke the sound barrier. Phoo, not wanting to lose track of his objective, spread his wings and with the aid of his own mind, shot after him. "Hmm hmm hmm... it is unfortunate, with Icy away on an alternate path, that Mewtwo cannot be brought down. But still... there is always a possibility that he doesn't see his own evil..." Phoo pondered. Just then, Phoo looked immediately ahead of him, and noticed that Mewtwo had floated to a halt and was staring at him. Phoo screeched and slowed and almost bumped into Mewtwo, only inches from crashing into the fiend's stomach. "Who are you?! And how dare you even think of following me!!!" Mewtwo violently telepathed Phoo, sending him barrelling back a few yards. Mewtwo stared at Phoo, his gaze like a thousand daggers. "Hmm... hmm... hello Mew. Mind you... must be so aggresive? I am quite... sure it is not good relationships with the... humans around here." Phoo calmly telepathed Mewtwo back. Mewtwo, furious of Phoo's condescending manner, raised his finger and pointed it at Phoo, sending the cockroach shooting up into the air and back again, creating an insect-sized crater in the ground. Mewtwo nodded with pleasure, grinned, and growled, "Ah, I see who you are now. Another one of those FOOLS trying to kill, disable, harm, displeasure, or whatnot me. I do not appreciate that at all, fool. You are not even a human! Nor are you a pokemon... what the devil are you, anyway?" Phoo, quickly arising back to his feet, telepathed back at Mewtwo, "Hmm... well, if you wish to know that... hmm... join me in a mental role-playing session where we may.... discuss things civally. If it pleases you so, Mew, howabouts right... over there?" Phoo pointed at a nearby tree. He paused a moment to wait for a response, and, upon hearing none, started to concentrate. Phoo's body glowed briefly then collapsed of its own will. Almost beyond visibility, a wisp of energy flew into the tree and disappeared. Mewtwo thought to himself, "What does he take me for, a fool, such as himself? Imagine that thing, leaving its body and entering that tree over there. Why, doesn't it realize I could pulverise it with so much as a grin? I do not think that... whatever it is, that thing, realizes that I am the most powerful force in the world! But he is a weakling... and I am curious about what this strange carapaced creature is... why shaln't I join him in his 'role-playing?' It might be a pleasant change from all this killing..." Mewtwo then glowed momentarily as Phoo had, and a bolt of energy from Mewtwo's body struck into the tree, then dissipated. What is going on here? *** Inside the mind of the tree *** Well, considering that trees don't think very much, all that could be sensed was sap rushing up and down the tree around the mind. But what was the mind of a tree? A mind being all the possibilities the nexus of energy a being could simulate or describe. A tree has much less possibilities to "grow in" or, as we would say, to think about, so its mind is much emptier than most. But a tree, being an organism, still has a mind. This suited Phoo, because he needed a catalyst for safe conversation. Phoo's consciousness drifted through the "mind" of the tree, searching for Mewtwo's. Quite abruptly, he found it, just now thundering into the tree, its power showing itself in waves. "Hmm... hello Mewtwo. Shall we make this area a bit more... suitable... possibly, for your tastes?" Phoo's consciousness telepathed Mewtwo's. He then released a flash of energy, and the voidlike area (which was the mind of the tree) promptly transformed into a beautiful clearing admidst an orchird. A picnic table sat in the middle of the clearing, with the image of Phoo on one side and the image of Mewtwo on the other. Phoo was wearing a plaid sweater, the kind an Englishman might wear. "I hope... you enjoy this illusion. Hmm... it's nothing like you could create, but... certainly more peaceful." Phoo telepathed. The consciousness of Mewtwo looked around the illusion, not impressed at all. He scoffed, and telepathed back, "Correct. This is quite horrible. I've never seen such shoddy work in my existence. And peace? You actually believe in peace? Ha! No such thing, mortal." "Hmm... hmm.... what?! You doubt the... existence of peace? Peace... calm... balance... it is the beauty of the world! And you... you are the destroyer of the peace!" "There is no such thing as peace. The world is all evil, everyone just looking out for their own good. You're not a pokemon afterall, are you? Have you seen what humans do to pokemon, as an example? Capturing them, enslaving them in tiny balls... all evil! All of them... each and every one." Mewtwo's image looked somewhat enranged at the moment, possibly remembering some past trouble with humans. "No... no... hmm... what can I use as an... example? Ah, yes. Remember your childhood? That must have been quite... peaceful, balanced, happy. Everyone's is!" With Phoo's last comment, Mewtwo started to burst into a fury, but quickly controlled himself. He growled, "No... my childhood is laced with bad horrible... evil. Evil! EVIL!!! Look what they did to me! Purple tail, artery sticking out of neck... they bred me for power. They wanted to make a pokemon with the evil of a human..." "Who is this 'they?'" "They? They are the humans... the ones who created me! I was born of Mew... twisted by humans, a mockery of my former self! They preformed experiments on me and my mother... constantly... without caring... god damn it! None of them cared about me at all! They just wanted my power! That's all they wanted! That's all everyone wants of me! All evil! ... ... ... you being... you aren't from around here, are you? This world is a place of death, destruction, and evil!" "No... no... I see childhood was not a good example. Think about... think about... hmm... the gentle Caterpie in the forest! Or the Chansey bounding through the meadow!" Phoo countered in the conversation, hoping to prove Mewtwo wrong. "The Caterpie only thinks of itself. It eats the forest around it and squashes everything underfoot. The Chansey crushes the grass beneath it and doesn't care about anything other than itself. It's only looking out for its own happiness." Phoo was starting to understand how Mewtwo was raised. He obviously had never been exposed to good, and only saw the evil side of things, he thought. "Hmm... but Mewtwo, think of the Caterpie's innocence and the joy a Chansey brings to others!" "What, the innocence of not knowing that what it does is evil, or the joy of watching another being destroy? There is no such thing as 'good.' Only varying amounts of evil. To be 'good' is only to delay the inevitable demise into destruction. I do not see why humans are so surprised at my destruction and chaos, after all, I'm just a shadow of them! 'Fear him, for his devastation is unmatched!' Is that what they think?" "Hmm... hmm..." Phoo was starting to run out of ideas. "Hmm... but... what about your mother, Mew? Can you describe her as evil?" "In retrospect, Mew was nothing but an illusion. Something of no evil cannot exist. It defies all my perfect logic. The same goes for you. You are not evil, you do not destroy, and thusly, you cannot exist. You do not exist. Or rather, you will not exist in only a few moments." The image of Mewtwo grinned slyly as his consciousness warped back into his body, and prepared to promptly obliviate the cockroach. *** Back on Route 4 *** Mewtwo's limp body slowly regained composure as his consciousness reentered it. In only a few seconds, Mewtwo was fully back up to power, and looked around for Phoo. Oddly enough, Mewtwo found no sight of the cockroach. Seething with anger that Phoo got away, Mewtwo unleashed the power of his mind in a fearsome Psychic attack, crippling the minds of anything nearby. The tree that Mewtwo's consciousness had previously occupied seemed to wither or limp slightly at the attack. Mewtwo whirled around at the tree but found nothing. Shrugging, Mewtwo lit back up with energy and blasted off to the Cerulean Cave, thinking, "I really must change my medication. These hallucinations are starting to get to me.... imagine, a cockroach! What in hell is a cockroach? There is no such thing!" After Mewtwo had flown away and was out of sight, the tree started to quiver and shake. Suddenly, Phoo melded out of the tree and popped onto the ground. "Hmm... phew! I... was taking a big chance there, combining myself with the tree... both body and mind. Not... merely occupying the tree's mind, but converging... with it. Hmm... Mewtwo is different than I supposed... is anything truly evil? I... must ponder this later. Aurelia is waiting..." After pondering these thoughts, Phoo lit up with a firey aura, spread his wings, and teleported off into the distance. *** Back at the Diet Coke Bottle From Hell: Evolved Form *** Aurelia was playing a game of bridge with two of the Weepinbell that rescued Porygon and a wild Sandshrew. Suddenly, strange music started playing and a bearded photographer spiraled out of the sky. He was wearing a top hat and held an old camera in his hands. He smiled, and said, "Ready, now say, 'Fuzzy pickles!'" snapped a picture, said, "What a great photograph! It will always bring back the fondest of memories.", then spiraled back up into the sky, unnoticed. Phoo rematerialized into the scene in a flash of energy and light. He looked around, and saw the bridge game to his right and... was that the young lady... what was her name... Jessica... to his left, fighting a Slowpoke wearing shorts. Phoo shrugged at the insanity of it all and walked over to the Slowpoke, wondering what this strange creature could be. Digging for interaction, here. They taste salty" - Cassidy Wright No, my name isn't Cassidy! A wok is a Chinese cooking device oftentimes used to make stirfries. "Sacrilege!" he cried, "Return that duck at once!" In a melodious voice, she cried out, "Chan-siiiiiii!!!" I am the holder of Goddish's Grimore of Lore! And Goddish's Neat Book of Stuff! (praise Goddish) Clefairy, Clefairy, Clefairy jump over the moon, Clefairy, Clefairy, Clefairy jump over the moon! The moon! The moon! The moon, the moon, the moon! KABOOM!!! (Clefairy used Metronome, and got Explosion) The sigfile grew to an enormous size! -more- The sigfile exploded and spewed pink goo everywhere! -more- You die. -more- If you spontaneously combust, all is left is a rocking chair and your teeth. Secretly, in the depths of night, rocking chairs roam the earth, searching for YOU!!!! When a rocking chair finds you (and it will), BEWARE!!!! For if you accidentally sit in it, your doom shall fall. Hiding by day, Lurking by night, Beware the rocking chair! "Where have all the neurons gone?" "Into Hershey's Neurons and Cream!" - Jose L. Solano I *think* my e-mail address is mtsowbug@hotbot.com But why would you E-mail me? What is your secret motive? WHAT KIND OF CONSPIRACY ARE YOU HIDING?!?!?!?!